45th High School Reunion or No?

[statsman]

The organizers of my high school reunions were students who were part of the "in" crowd and whose families were considered wealthy, as far as our town was concerned. I was never part of that crowd (and neither was my family), so it made it easy to not attend a reunion, despite being only 90 miles away.

My career also made it easy to not want to attend. I was working on classified military software systems, and I really couldn't talk about the details. So, the prior question posted about "How's your job?" would prove to be uncomfortable.

 

[scrabbler1]

Never had any interest in attending any reunions. High school wasn't a happy time for me. Just hoping my classmates would stop picking on me and begin treating me like a human being was a miracle in the last year or so of those 4 years.

I had 2 friends in HS, one I stayed in touch with for several years in the 1980s and early 1990s. He got married, had kids, and moved too far away to want to visit more than the one time I did circa 1994. We exchanged a few emails over the years, the last one a few years ago.

The other friend we drifted apart after HS when he had some tough times. His fiance worked at my office for a few years but we didn't realize it for a while. Years later, I tracked him down and we met when he and his wife returned to NY in 2006 for a visit. We stayed in touch for a while before drifting apart again. I learned, through a mutual friend I tracked down 2 years ago, he and his wife moved again and he became a college professor in the midwest.

Prior to the 20th reunion, they sent out a survey with questions about what you have been up to lately. I didn't respond to it, but I was somehow able to get my hands on the results, where I learned some fun facts about some of my former classmates.

During some of my school Scrabble volunteer work ~20 years ago, I visited my old HS and found a former classmate who had become a teacher there. Another classmate I met while she was waiting to pick up her son at an elementary school. That classmate just got sentenced to 15 months in jail for obstruction of justice.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I've never been to a high school reunion. I graduated early plus got bussed to a high school across town when bussing for integration was a thing, so I didn't really know the kids in my graduating class all that well. Most of my close friends were in my same grade, and most of my friends from middle school, the ones I stayed friends with into adulthood, went to the local high school. Between the graduating early, getting bussed across town for HS, and then moving out of state, I've never had a compelling reason to attend.


I did get invited to a HS reunion in California recently, as apparently I have the same name as someone who went there. Maybe it would be more fun to go to that, pretend to remember everyone and see what they say.

 

[youbet]

I thought our 50th reunion was fantastic. Hardly anyone was at all as I remembered them and it was fascinating to hear how their lives had gone in all those years. I was particularly surprised by how many had eventually attended post-secondary school and had professional careers. Chicago Public Schools were not noted for academic performance in those days but you did get a big dose of street smarts. A big dose.

To help explain the contrast, my high school was the model for the fictional "Rydell High" in the musical "Grease." Composer/writer Jim Jacobs attended 3 - 4 years before us but things were pretty much the same. My memories of friends and classmates were mostly of tough guys wearing engineer boots, Levi's and white tee shirts with a pack of Lucky Strikes rolled up in one sleeve. (Yes, I smoked like a chimney in high school!) We were referred to as "Greasers" and thus the name of the musical.

From Wikipedia:

The show's original production was directed by Guy Barile, choreographed by Ronna Kaye and produced by the Kingston Mines Theatre Company founded by June Pyskacek on Chicago's Lincoln Avenue. The script was based on Jim Jacobs' experience at William Taft High School, Chicago.[1] Warren Casey collaborated with Jim and together they wrote the music and lyrics. It ran for eight months.[8] In addition to the "R-rated" profanity and deliberate use of shock value, the Chicago version of Grease included an almost entirely different songbook, which was shorter and included multiple references to real Chicago landmarks

One of our classmates was Terry Kath (deceased), a founding member of the group "Chicago." Unbelievable guitar player!

At the reunion, it was all different. No engineer boots, switchblades or Lucky Strikes. Mostly just a bunch of old guys I didn't recognize by sight, conservatively dressed and sharing life stories reflecting routine to super-successful careers, families and living all over the country. Very, very interesting!

There was a list posted of the guys we lost to the Vietnam War. Sad and surprisingly long. Since not too many of us went directly to college and thus missed out on the infamous 2S deferment, it was a short path from the graduation stage to the induction center.

The folks I found most interesting and had the most memories of were the folks I went to grade school as well as high school with. I had known some of them from K - 12! The area the grade school drew from was only a half square mile or so. In our crowded neighborhood, you could see the homes of many of your friends while standing on your front stoop. Others were just around the corner or maybe a couple blocks away. So we knew each other and each other's families well. It was great to reconnect! We liked it so much that we have continued to get together annually and a few of us more often.

I suppose the high school reunion was a one time event (for me) as when the 60th rolls around, many will be deceased or needing a nurse and wheel chair to attend. But I'm sure glad I at least got to the 50th. And I plan to continue hooking up with the old grade school friends as long as we can. The old 'hood has been gentrified so it's no longer possible to visit to reminisce.

 

[jollystomper]

I went back to one High School reunion, our 20th. We had such a large class (over 1100) that while there it was impossible to get to know a lot of people very well. We now live about 5 hours away, so getting to it was not the easiest. But I did run into about a dozen folks I knew, and most people there were friendly. The nice thing was that the school ran it as a "program" with various sessions during the day, tours of the school, etc. So there was not a lot of time just hanging around trying to one up each other, and no booze to make it more "interesting" . Since we brought our kids (it was encouraged and they had things to do for them), we skipped the late evening activities.

Our 45th reunion was planned for 2020, a Facebook group was started that invited me, and I was interested. But covid killed it. In 3 years will be our 50th, I'll see what happens then.

College reunions were another matter, smaller class and 4 years on campus instead of commuting I got to know more people a lot better. DW being in the same class also makes it a lot easier. We have only missed one of our reunion, due to my mother being terminally ill at the time.

 

[aja8888]

I graduated from a small technical high school in CT in 1961. Then the draft notice in 1964 came and I was gone from CT. I returned in 1968 after my military duty and went to college on the G.I. Bill, then moved away after graduating and took a job in Detroit. I guess through all the moves, if my high school class had reunions, I never got the notice so I never attended any.

I have been gone from CT almost 50 years now and have never once ran across anyone from my high school. Our graduating class was small (<100) so it's not likely I would accidentally run across an old classmate as I am living in Texas.

I do periodically check the obituaries in my CT hometown to see if anyone I knew had passed. Infrequently, someone I worked with in those few years I was there after high school would be in the list. Actually, one of my classmates did pass about 5 years ago as I saw his obit.

 

[timbervest]

• 
  10th reunion -- mostly everyone was the same (maybe college, maybe married). Kind of like catching up with your same HS buddies

• 
  20th reunion -- big event; alot of posturing and "who's doing better/not". Surprising to see some of the wallflowers who have emerged and some of the popular kids that never got out of the home town.

• 
  30th reunion -- didn't go

• 
  40th reunion -- time is the great equalizer -- no cliques, talked to people that would never have given me the time of day in HS and everyone was friendly and open. Interesting to learn where people's paths had taken them. We had a website for the class online by then so got a chance to se who had done what. Everyone had a good time and nobody seemed to care who was who in HS. PS -- I found the women were much more interesting to talk to than the men. Sad to see how many had passed by this time.

• 
  50th reunion -- this summer. Looking forward to it but probably the last one I will be interested in going to.

 

[easysurfer]

I haven't gone to HS reunions but a few ones for my grade school. I think 40th was the last one.

I'm mixed about reunions. On one hand, fun to go down memory lane as reminisce about simpler, more innocent times. On the other, perhaps best to leave the past alone.

Oh, there is the shock too of a few people, seeing them took awhile to realize who that was.

In this day and age and sign of the times, would be nice if the reunion organizers had an remote attending option for those who just can't attend in person but wish to go down memory lane.

 

[marko]

My rural PA high school has a long-standing tradition of having an Alumni Association Banquet every Memorial Day weekend (Saturday night). Generally, we "celebrate" classes every 5 years. So this year's banquet will have reserved tables for the class of 2017, 2012, 2007, 2002,... 1957, 1952.... But anyone can attend if they desire. Typically, attendance is usually around 300 people give or take. This year will be the 128th banquet.

My school alumni does something similar. Because alums are spread far and wide, the local alums hold "reunion" events in different areas: Boston, South East Florida, San Francisco and one in London. All from any year are welcome and makes travel easier for those who've moved away. It's a nice idea but as I noted in post #2, I likely wouldn't make the effort.

 

[Sue J]

Our 50th is coming up in 2023. DH was the senior class president and we were one of the class couples so we always go. It's nice to see some of the folks but I find I don't really like large crowded parties. They always have a band and everyone has to shout to have a conversation. We had a graduating class of just under 1,000 students so we get a lot of classmates who come.

DH is Facebook friends with some of our classmates so he keeps in contact that way. I don't do Facebook (I have one but I never post, I just like to look at other people's posts). While I enjoyed my girlfriends at the time, I didn't keep in touch so it's nice to see them again.

After about the 30th reunion I realized we were all starting to look like our parents. I appreciate that more now!

DH was retired at 55 so at our 40th (age 58) he was one of the very few not working. I'm sure that will be different at the 50th!

 

[latexman]

In 1995, while on “home leave” (we were living/working in Singapore), we attended our 20th HS reunion. Needless to say, we won the award for longest distance travelled! Over 12,000 miles!

Nowadays it’s only 115 miles away. DW and I are 9th grade sweethearts and we graduated together. We go to them all.

 

[scrabbler1]

Anyone here ever consider attending (or perhaps actually attended) a HS reunion just to try out a "Revenge of the Nerds" or "Romy and Michelle's HS Reunion" theme?

 

[NameTaken2]

Went to the 10yr -and none since.
The 50yr, if the class has one, will be in a few years.
I keep in touch with two classmates, and whether I go will probably depend on what they do.
I'd consider going as kind of a closure, just to see classmates one last time, catch up and wish them well.

 

[Freedom56]

I went to my 40th reunion before the pandemic and I'm glad I did. We have them every 10 years and I have attended them all. When we walked into the event, the guy was in front of us was in pretty bad shape and could barely walk. We helped him up the stairs. He turned out to be the guidance counselor from high school so it sort of made sense. No other staff attended. It was nice to see my classmates again. My wife wasn't too crazy about the event but neither were other spouses.

 

[Physics Guy]

I can't see any reason to attend. There are a few people that I wouldn't mind getting together with in person (versus watching each other over Facebook) but from what I see on Facebook we probably don't have that much in common anymore other than kids of similar ages.

 

[swakyaby]

I went to my 40th reunion and wasn’t sure what to expect since I didn’t keep in contact with anyone since graduating. My DH gamely attended with me even though he graduated 5 years ahead of me and knew not a soul. I give him a whole lot of credit for that.

I was pretty quiet in HS and mainly participated in the music program. The senior president of our class recognized me and went over to me, and said some very kind things about what he recalled about me. I was surprised and appreciative he remembered me at all, and asked if he continued in a political career. He said he became a minister.

The vice principle was there and came over to talk to me. I was surprised he knew who I was, until I realized he really actually recalled my older prettier sister.

I recognized a classmate who always sat near me because we were usually seated alphabetically, and I always recalled how diplomatic and well-spoken she was. I admired her. She had become famous because she had become press secretary to one of the US presidents. I wanted to say hello, but she was surrounded by her close friends, she glanced at me and simply gave a nod. She seemed so unapproachable now, perhaps in my own mind, because of her fame.

Several flutists recognized me from the music program, chattered enthusiastically of past performances, but the conversation faded after it became clear I did not continue in music.

All-in-all, it was a little interesting, wish there were more people I recognized (3 classes were combined due to our small size), but I think this will be the only one I’ll attend. I think it depends how involved you were in HS, whether it’s worth the effort to attend. I think attending at least one would take away that feeling of missing out.

 

[RobbieB]

Haven't been to one yet.

I went back to Detroit to see my folks and my college buddies. By the time I was out of school, my high school buddies were on a different path.

 

[Koolau]

I went to several of the 10/20/30 etc. reunions - including the 50th. Oddly, the cliques seemed to slowly dissolve over the years and the folks I once couldn't stand had turned into pretty decent people for the most part.

By the 50th, it was getting difficult to even recognize people, especially those who had not been attending. Most folks were gray or bald or else brassy blond - no blue hairs, though.

One "girl" however really stood out. She was one of the most popular girls in the class, very pretty in HS, unapproachable to a dweeb like me though I was already dating DW by Sr. year. This "girl" looked like she did 50 years previously. Her hair was the same color (and not "obviously" colored - IOW whatever she had done was expensive), she MUST have had eyes, brow, mouth and neck work done as she was practically unwrinkled. Whoever did her work must have been a "cosmetic surgeon to the stars" type.

I would have been embarrassed to be her as her old classmates gathered around her as if she were royalty. They (as politely as they were capable) exclaimed over her and actually created the only real "scene" of the event. She simply gloried in the attention - much as she had when she was 18. I guess SOME things never change. I'm guessing she'll eventually be the prettiest girl in the funeral home, though I won't be attending.

But seriously, I'm glad I went but can't recommend for or against class reunions. The shocker (not really, I guess) was that about 17% of our class had made the final graduation IIRC. I'm sure one of the insurance geeks in the crowd could have whipped out a booklet (or app) showing it was actually age appropriate. YMMV

 

[friar1610]

I went to my 25th HS reunion, more out of curiosity than anything. It was OK but not great. I met up with a few old friends but we did not reconnect in the sense of keeping in touch afterwards. Also went to my 50th as I figured (and confirmed by going) it would be my last. Like the 25th, nothing really bad about it - just not a lot in common with many of the folks. (I did talk one of my very best HS friends into going with the line, “You’ll never get a 2nd chance to attend your 50th”.)

College reunions have been a different story - I’ve been to all but 2 of the ten so far and am co-chair of the 55th coming up in June.

 

[Badger]

I was not part of the "In Crowd" but had plenty of friends to make my time in HS a fun time. Reunions have been 10 years apart and I have been to a few. I even helped out locating classmates so I worked with some of the "In Crowd" that were the Senior Class officers. The last was the 50th and again had a nice time. I only saw a few of my closer friends but enjoyed visiting with more that I had forgotten. By then most were retired and there was little to brag about jobs so conversations were more interesting. However, I doubt there will be any more other. They tried to get interest in a 55th but due to Covid there wasn't much interest except for those classmates who lived in the area. I may not go to another even if one is planned. I don't want conversations to just revolve around health issues.

Cheers!

 

[Car-Guy]

My 50th was just last year. (they combined two years of graduating classes since numbers are dwindling ) I thought about going but decided against it. No doubt if they had such a position "back in the day", I would have been voted the person most likely to fail... (or at least one of them)... I guess the main reason I didn't go is that most people would probably still remember me that way, when in reality I probably would be well into the top 10%, at least financially. I did get a picture of the "34" that attended out of the two class of ~1000. Wow, what a bunch of old folks and I didn't recognize any of them. (not surprising) There are a couple of fellow alumni that have been lifelong friends and they didn't attend either. Maybe I'll attend the 60th and split a 6 pack with those still around.

 

[Toast]

DH and I graduated in the 1980s one year apart and have never attended a high school reunion. For 25 years post graduation, we lived only a couple miles from our high school. Interestingly, we never receive invitations to reunions. Out of curiosity, we checked once and saw that we were both on our respective "lost" lists. We laugh about it.

 

[ivinsfan]

Due to distance and logistics I have never attended one. My DH and I attended at least 5 or 6 of his.

He has another one coming up in 2 weeks. Anyway, after the last one I told him I was done with it and if he needed to go to more he could go alone. There are 2 people of a class of 70 he is in contact with and we see them at couples things away from reunions. He has zero contacts with other classmates so I just said that's it for me.



The OP mentioned being FB friends with a few classmates. For me that's even better then in person. One of my FB school friends had a parent die and be buried in the small cemetery as is my Mother. I mentioned on FB I love that cemetery Mom is there and you can see the mountains. I'm 1100 miles away. Come memorial day he ...the classmate sends a messenger pic of Mom's grave

saying I went to see your Mom and told her Hello from you along with a few flowers.



For some wonderful reason maybe 10-12 of the people I was closest to in HS are on FB that is all the contact I need with schoolmates.

 

[TheWizard]

I've been back to almost all of my HS reunions since my 15th, including my 50th four years ago. They've all been fun in various ways and I get to catch up with folks, 1700 miles away in the middle of the country.

Our class was 125 in size, so I knew most of them.
We even have a few honorary class members who moved away in grades 9-11.

In contrast, I also attend most of my college reunions, but that class was about 1100 in size, so I knew only a fraction of them. But that's fine; I'm not one of those introverts you often hear about...

 

[mailbagman]

I agree.