45th High School Reunion or No?

[DrRoy]

I told myself that I really wanted to go to my 45th High School reunion. I had made FB friends with a number of people that I knew from my class and enjoyed that. However, when a date was proposed, I responded that I had a travel conflict (3 week trip to Washington state), and could they make it a week or two later. The firm date came out and it is 3 days before I get back from my trip.

I could potentially revise my trip to free up that reunion date. It would increase the cost of the airline tickets by $350. I can cancel the lodging at no cost, but do not know yet if I can rebook. I'll look at that today. The thing is, I had very few close friends from HS, and I do not know if any of them are coming yet. I am not sure if I should go out of my way to attend. I wonder if I am just romanticizing what the experience would be like, and would find that it would not have been worth the trouble.

 

[marko]

I went to my 45th and that was enough to kill any interest in going to my 50th. Same cliques running everything, a bunch of small-time people living in the past.

Your class may have a 50th which to me is more of a milestone so missing the 45th might not be such an issue.

Good luck with your decision either way. YMMV and I hope it does! I hope other responses can balance out my experience more to the positive.

 

[big-papa]

My high school reunions happen every 10 years and I've been to all of them. Can't imagine doing them any more often than that. The majority of the class still lives close to the small town where we grew up but for the rest of us who moved away, those of us who attend always have enjoyed seeing people again. Yep there were a cliques back in the day and while a few people have maintained close friendships over the years, I haven't seen any issues at all. Even those who married right out high school and later divorced still seem to get along. All good.

Cheers,
big-papa

 

[disneysteve]

I went to my 35th. Exactly 2 people who I was friendly with were there and I spent the entire evening hanging with them. There were some others I remembered and said hi to but that was about it. I was bored the whole time. That removed any desire to go to future ones.

 

[Bamaman]

I made one reunion--our 20th--and I was one of the few that had a 6 month old child there.

Our community was/is a little different because not that many people ever left our city and the surrounding counties. And it is a place with relatively few divorces, etc. So many of our high school mates stay in close contact with each other today, and groups often meet for lunch on Thursdays.

With a large Facebook group, our high school stays in close contact and the last reunion pictures are available online. I just wonder who all those old people are in those pictures? No, I wouldn't change travel plans to go to a reunion.

 

[Aerides]

I haven't been since the 10th. It was silly then, like we were trying to recreate Prom. I also realized then that anyone I was friends with and kept in touch with I could do without the shenanigans.

Haven't been to another once since, though I followed the facebook group for years and looked at some pics when they did a 25. Hardly recognized anyone that went. Most that did were the "in" crowd, just a lot older looking.

ETA: OP so, yeah I vote no on changing your trip.

 

[athena53]

I didn't go to the prom and I wasn't popular or athletic. I attended the 5th and then didn't bother till the 40th came around in 2011. By then I'd connected with some on FaceBook and gotten to know them in their current lives. I went to that one, which required travel from Kansas City to Ohio, and honestly enjoyed it. People I'd barely known in HS turned out to be pretty fun and interesting to talk to. Many had colorful stories of life since HS. Most interesting were the people who pretty much flew under the radar- not magnetic personalities, athletic or academic superstars- but had found a niche and done very well.

Yes, the "cliques" did gravitate towards each other a bit but then they had a shared history I didn't have with them. In general, it was like finding a group of new friends with whom I had a lot in common. There's now a group of us that meets via Zoom every month!

So... if you go, have an open mind. Talk to people you don't remember. Ask them what they've done since HS. I've gone back for the 45th and the 50th as well.

 

[target2019]

Life has been simpler without a single reunion. Instead I listen to the trials and tribulations of hers and understand what might have been.

 

[CO-guy]

I had a handful of friends in high school. In spite of the fact that I don't do FB, I still manage to stay in touch with most of them; some more frequently than others.

Over the years I've come to realize that some of those friends are unable to attend anything other than "official" events (weddings, funerals, reunions). They tend to be the most adamant about attending reunions because they can't travel without an "official" reason. I've talked with some of them more than I have in years since Covid keeps postponing our 30th reunion (that I won't be attending). I'm glad we still talk from time to time, but I haven't seen some of those people since graduation.

 

[Dtail]

When my father passed in Feb, I saw 2 high school friends who paid their respects.
It was nice catching up, but not sure I would go the reunion route.
We had a graduating class of 18, so only has been a 10 year reunion which I did not attend.

 

[Montecfo]

I always go to them and enjoy them, but not sure I'd change travel.

But there are fewer people every time, something to think about.

 

[38Chevy454]

I went to my 5 year, but nothing since. No real desire to go to any in future either. I now live across the country, so it's a lot more of commitment to go if I would. High school wasn't bad for me, i just saw it as a step in life to bigger things. Nothing that special, and I really don't keep in close touch with anyone from there. I might consider a big one like 50 years, but that's in the significant future. I live my life looking forward and am not very sentimental about the past.

As for OP, I would not change your existing plans. Skip the reunion and maybe make more effort for attending the 50th.

 

[PaunchyPirate]

My rural PA high school has a long-standing tradition of having an Alumni Association Banquet every Memorial Day weekend (Saturday night). Generally, we "celebrate" classes every 5 years. So this year's banquet will have reserved tables for the class of 2017, 2012, 2007, 2002,... 1957, 1952.... But anyone can attend if they desire. Typically, attendance is usually around 300 people give or take. This year will be the 128th banquet. The last 2 were held remotely due to Covid, but we still count them so as to not break the streak.

Our high school was merged out of existence about 10 years ago but we still gather. The banquet is held in the old high school (now a middle school) gymnasium. The old high school was built in the 1950s and is actually about the 3rd iteration of school building over those 128 years.

There is an active scholarship component. Alumni donate money to a fund and each year's new graduation class rewarded with scholarships. Generally, anyone going to college gets something. I believe the total scholarship amount given to date is over $300,000. Scholarships are now given to students in the "new" merged high school that actually live in the attendance area of the "old" school.

It's a nice tradition for a small, rural school that over the last 40 years or so never graduated more than maybe 90 students in a year. My class of 1980 graduated 82. At the time of the merge, class sizes were usually in the low 50s.

Celebrating classes usually have an individual class reunion gathering either before or after the banquet (or both) at a local fire hall or bar.

I missed the first few reunions, but have been going every 5th year now since about my 20th reunion. We missed having our own 40th celebration due to Covid, but we'll pick it up for 45. My class usually only has about 10-15 classmates show up. But we'll keep it going.

 

[REWahoo]

I also graduated from a small rural school (72 in my class). After leaving for college, I never returned to the area except for occasional short visits.

Our first class reunion was our 10th, and it wasn't enjoyable. Too many people trying to impress each other with what they had accomplished since graduating.

That experience left me less than enthusiastic about future reunions, but a couple of old friends talked me into attending our 25th. By that time most people seemed to be more comfortable with their lot in life and simply interested in having a good time. Much more enjoyable.

I went back for our 35th and 50th. The 35th was also enjoyable but the 50th had too many old people for my tastes.

 

[Ronstar]

We went to our 45th and will probably go to our 50th next year. I think we’ve had them every 5 years. Always within 10 miles of home so it’s not a big deal to go. We had a small class of 100 so I know everyone there.

 

[Jerry1]

On our 30 reunion, many people joined Facebook. That was good enough for me. Most people I was friends with in school, I already knew what was going on in their life. Picked up a few extra that I had lost touch with when they joined FB. Can’t imagine the pain of going to a reunion.

 

[brett]

I would not bother going even if I lived in the same city. Which I do not.

You cannot go back.

 

[stepford]

I went to my 10th reunion and found all the petty gossip and sniping of high school still present. I wasn't expecting much when I went to my 40th, but was very pleasantly surprised. The additional 30 years had knocked a lot of the harder edges off most of us and folks seemed genuinely interested in each other and happy to be there. If you haven't ever been to one I'd say it's worth trying to get to your 45th.

 

[pacergal]

Went to our 10th and 20th.
10th was as many have said, still all the cliques (to which I didn't belong), everyone one upping, etc. Felt like I never left High School. Ugh.
Went to the 20th, hoping folks had grown up a bit. Nope.
Skipped the 45th
If there is a 50th, really debating about it. Probably not. The few I am friends with and the school FB account still seem to be in HS. Isn't there something else to talk about? Really folks, it was only 4 years of our lives!

 

[travelover]

I went to my 30th and honestly only remembered a few people that I'd also gone to elementary school with. I've never attended another and don't feel like I've missed anything. Perhaps if you had closer relationships then that you hope to rekindle it would be worth it to you.

 

[njhowie]

We are grappling with the same issue right now. DW's 40th is in June and she is flip-flopping unsure whether we should go...and has similar thoughts...wanting to know who's going before committing - which is probably the same as everyone else.

 

[omni550]

My class had over 700 graduates. A huge percentage went on to colleges.

I moved away after college.

I went back for the 15th reunion. What a mistake. The now-balding and overweight jocks and their wives, the still-cute cheerleaders, were still running the show.

None of my close friends (mostly nerds) attended. I suspect their post-college careers took them elsewhere in the country.

What a tedious evening. Never attended another one.

YMMV

omni

 

[ScoopKona]

I live six time zones away from my high school. And the dozen or so classmates I want to talk to, I already do on Facebook.

So I have absolutely zero interest. Furthermore, I know that the two big topics of conversation will be "Remember when" and "How's your job?"

If you had close friends in high school, I would absolutely recommend changing plans a bit. What's a few days and a few dollars, after all? I'm already getting messages from classmates, "Remember Mindy Quackenbush? She died last week." And my 40th reunion is still years ahead.

 

[Winemaker]

DW and I attend every reunion that my/her class puts on; always had a blast. We have lived 2-3 hours away from the venue. I was friends with pretty much everyone in our class of 212, except for a bully and his friends that made fun of me because I was an Eagle Scout. They never come, they're probably locked up in federal prison. I love to hear everyone's life story and see how my classmates have aged; of course, I haven't aged a bit.

 

[Dash man]

I remember receiving a notice for my ten year reunion three days before it was to take place, but I was living in England at the time while in the Air Force. Funny thing is the invite included a list of classmates that had passed away, and I was on it!
Besides wondering why they thought I was dead, I was wondering why would they send an invite to a dead person[emoji23]

Never been to one and never will.