Attorney stories for Martha and Y'all

Mr._johngalt

Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Joined
Dec 3, 2002
Messages
4,801
This is just for your amusement.

You have heard the one about the attorney who told me that to my employees and the government I was the
"evil big guy". Had some other interesting experiences.

When I was attorney shopping during my divorce I had a
very aggressive guy picked out but he was leaving on sabbatical. So, I hired my second choice. Worked with him for a month and we both agreed we were not good together (in school my teacher said "annoys others" on my report card).
By this time my first choice was back so I interviewed
him on the phone. All at once he said, "I can't represent you". I was taken aback. When pressed he said
"I think you would be a very difficult client." On reflection, he was right :). I ended up with a lawyer
recommended to me by a good friend who had recently
been divorced. He was okay. Adequate. After the dust settled, I thanked my friend and inquired how he had done with his divorce. My friend said, "Oh, he didn't
handle my divorce!" Turns out my friend had used him for some kind of contract dispute :)

Once I called an attorney from the car on some kind of
potential business dispute. His answer was either
satisfactory, or the probelm went away. About a month later I got a letter asking what ever happened.
By that time the problem was gone and so I did not respond. Another month, another letter. I ignored it.
This was followed with a bill charging me for the time to compose
and send the 2 letters asking about the status of an issue which did not exist. I will leave it to your imagination as to where
I told him to insert his invoice.

That's all for now kiddies. I have many more.

Peace and love,

JG
 
Hey John, I have told some potential clients I don't want to do their work because I think they would be difficult. Gee, one could of been you. :D

Clients reasonably don't want to be billed for mikey mouse stuff. I try to always throw in some things for free. Maybe I'll chat with them on the phone about something. The bill will mention the call, but say "no charge". There are many ways to do the sales part of the job.
 
There is a guy nearby who I have wanted to hire for years. He has given me lots of good advice
and never charged me a dime (small town attorney).
This is pretty unusual to say the least. Once, I did actually try to give him a real project, but he declined. It involved family issues and my ex. works for one of his biggest clients. Like I said, it's a small town.

JG
 
Thankfully I dont have much professional experience with attorneys but of the four I've dealt with three were really wacky.

The one criminal lawyer shaved his head only sometimes and walked in a bouncy way on the balls of his feet. He was a genuine screwball.

Another was a personal injury guy. Everytime it snowed he would go crazy shoveling and sweeping the office steps every 15 minutes or so... scared to death someone would slip and fall on his property.

The third was a medical malpractice "medmal" gal. She appeared constanly worried that she might be putting a fellow human being at some risk (and setting herself up for a lawsuit). When she called my cell phone, before saying hello she would say, "You're not driving are you?" or "Your not involved in a case now are you" or "Dont come in today the weather is bad".

She reminded me of the consigliore on the Godfather who wouldnt accept Kay's letter to Mike beacuse "If I accept the letter it MIGHT be argued in a court that I had personal knowledge of Mike's whereabouts".

What I'm getting at here (except for the goofy-walker) is that these people seem to lead their lives in constant worry of getting sued.

Occupational hazard or are lawyers often frickin nuts?

BUM :confused:
 
Well, I have had way more than my share of lawyer interaction. Can't think of any I thought were
"frickin' nuts" and met quite a few I really admired a lot.
Two (2) former business attorneys remain life long
friends years after they have stopped practicing law.

To show that I have been a smart-ass my whole life
(and to add another lawyer story)........................

When I was about 30, I became embroiled in a suit
against my employer by a competitor. The claim was
that my employer had stolen a confidential customer
list. They didn't really steal it, but did come into their possession in a rather unusual way. While I was being
deposed, I was asked why we had shredded the original
customer list (after loading all the names and addresses
into our computers). My answer? I told them we needed the packing material :)

JG
 
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