Blow That Dough! -2021

[harley]

As part of the culture, you will discover rules of etiquette in rural life, that you never ask a rancher or farmer of how big of herd or how many acres they have.

Not a problem, just like to keep some things under my hat. Lol

So, how big is your hat?

 

[NW-Bound]

Just do it life is to short!

Easier said than done for me. My wife is stuck with caring for her frail 94-year-old mother.

We cannot even go up to our high-country 2nd home for a few nights, let alone travel.

 

[Ronstar]

It’s the easiest thing in the world to look up county records online and see how large given chunks of land are and the landowner. It’s public information.

In some counties. Not all.

 

[Letj]

Easier said than done for me. My wife is stuck with caring for her frail 94-year-old mother.

We cannot even go up to our high-country 2nd home for a few nights, let alone travel.

Maybe an opportunity to blow that dough by hiring help.

 

[audreyh1]

Easier said than done for me. My wife is stuck with caring for her frail 94-year-old mother.

We cannot even go up to our high-country 2nd home for a few nights, let alone travel.

Oh, no! So sorry to hear that.

 

[street]

An old friend told me about this recently. When he was a young man, he and his buddy spent the summer on his buddy’s family Utah ranch. At dinner one night he asked the rancher how many acres he owned. The dinner table went silent. He later found out that asking a rancher how many acres he had was akin to asking how much money he had.

Yes, that is why it is something that never gets ask. Lol It would be same difference asking how much money do you have and most wouldn't like to say.

audreyh1 >> Oh that is true, if you know the name yes it is all public knowledge. I think it is just not something the owner likes to tell or spread around, just like telling someone how much money they have.

harley >> my hat size runs about 7 1/8.

 

[Koolau]

That is something, I like to keep disclose. For a few reasons, sorry.

As part of the culture, you will discover rules of etiquette in rural life, that you never ask a rancher or farmer of how big of herd or how many acres they have.

Yes, it's kind of like asking one of us here how big our stash is. Some of us (not me) love to talk about it, we post in polls, etc. but many of us are reticent to talk about certain subjects. In addition to natural reluctance to share info that we just don't want "out there", I always feel self conscious talking about numbers. Maybe it's worrying about "bragging" or maybe it's worrying about being "ranked" by someone with more. Who knows. There are just some taboo topics.

As you point out, street, they may vary by your location. I'd have no problem telling folks my last house had .27 acres with it. But if I owned (what we called) "black land" farm acreage, I'd be more reticent. In the farming community there were "braggers" and there were those holding the cards closer to the vest. Of course, any farmer can estimate what you have just by driving past your place. But the "general public" wouldn't have clue. Of course, most "city folk" wouldn't know what was big and what was little to a local farmer. I know (to some extent) because all my people (mom's side) were farmers at one time or another - back to my granddad.

BUT, do let us know when you sign that deed and Blow That Dough, street! We want to celebrate with you.

 

[audreyh1]

Yes, that is why it is something that never gets ask. Lol It would be same difference asking how much money do you have and most wouldn't like to say.

audreyh1 >> Oh that is true, if you know the name yes it is all public knowledge. I think it is just not something the owner likes to tell or spread around, just like telling someone how much money they have.

harley >> my hat size runs about 7 1/8.

My experience in rural GA is that all my DFs neighbors knew exactly how much land he and others owned and even joked about it sometimes. Questions about acreage were readily asked and answered.

 

[NW-Bound]

Maybe an opportunity to blow that dough by hiring help.

Hmmm... We never thought about 24-hr live-in help. I wonder about the logistics of having someone living in our home for a couple of months.

 

[NW-Bound]

harley >> my hat size runs about 7 1/8.

I cannot relate, not knowing what my [-]head[/-] hat size is.

 

[audreyh1]

Hmmm... We never thought about 24-hr live-in help. I wonder about the logistics of having someone living in our home for a couple of months.

How much help do you get now?

 

[ohyes]

This discussion has me chuckling. When DH and I married (1980), my parents were not pleased with my choice.

DH's parents drove to AR from MA for the wedding.... A major strike against DH was his home state - YANKEE).

The day of the wedding, future MIL casually asked how many acres my parents owned.

Oh.My.Goodness.

While I did not witness this faux pas, my mom was quick to relay it to me. She thought that was more than enough reason to call off the wedding.

 

[NW-Bound]

How much help do you get now?

0

My MIL has COPD. She's mobile with a walker, goes to the bathroom by herself, and can feed herself. However, her mind is not sharp, and we cannot be sure of her remembering to drag the oxygen tube with her when moving about.

When seating still, she can manage without the oxygen cannula, and her oxgen level is in the low 90s. But just making a few steps, and her oxygen level can drop to below 80. Yet, she does not remember to constantly monitor herself with the finger oximeter.

Hence, my wife is afraid of her fainting for lack of oxygen, falling and breaking her bones, and just laying there on the floor until someone discovers her.

 

[street]

NW-Bound >> That is rough to watch loved ones get old. Your MIL is very fortunate to have you folks helping her. You both should be commended for your sacrifices you are doing.

If I may ask, was she a smoker?

 

[audreyh1]

0

My MIL has COPD. She's mobile with a walker, goes to the bathroom by herself, and can feed herself. However, her mind is not sharp, and we cannot be sure of her remembering to drag the oxygen tube with her when moving about.

When seating still, she can manage without the oxygen cannula, and her oxgen level is in the low 90s. But just making a few steps, and her oxygen level can drop to below 80. Yet, she does not remember to constantly monitor herself with the finger oximeter.

Hence, my wife is afraid of her fainting for lack of oxygen, falling and breaking her bones, and just laying there on the floor until someone discovers her.

You can hire sitters. You can even hire round the clock sitters.

 

[Koolau]

Hmmm... We never thought about 24-hr live-in help. I wonder about the logistics of having someone living in our home for a couple of months.

Due diligence is critical. We've never had live-in help but have OFTEN allowed folks to use our place - a whole summer at a time while we were on the mainland. We either knew these people or knew them by reputation from others. When our clergyman was on sabbatical, we had a couple stay who filled in. Saved a lot of money at church that way. We got to know the folks through communications though only met them once. Now, here was the downside. DW is VERY fussy about where things are placed (from furniture to the coffee maker.) Our guests (the wife, I'm sure) rearranged much of the house - and didn't put it back. DW was at first livid. I reminded her that (my saying) "If it didn't cost you anything to help someone - you didn't actually DO anything for them." She settled down when she thought about it. Of course, it was my back that suffered the most, heh, heh.

Another time, a couple we knew very well (about our age) asked if their son and DIL could use the place for the summer. We knew them a bit and said yes. We didn't realize they were bringing their 4 girls with them - 2 BR, 2 bath. We didn't have enough beds but had a couple of mattresses that they put on the floor in the LR. We wouldn't have known they brought their kids except they were in an accident - not their fault but the report indicated 6 people (in a car with 5 seat belts - fortunately, no citation so no increase in insurance rate.) Then we also found 2 or 3 different sized bras, blouses, etc. (pretty much a $15 USPS shipping box full of stuff) left by the girls. Again, DW was upset, but I reminded her of my saying and she settled down.

My point - a great house guest will still get on your nerves occasionally (your spouse does it, so why wouldn't a guest or live-in.) Choose wisely or YMMV.

 

[NW-Bound]

^^^ Yes, my MIL was a smoker. She did not smoke a lot after I knew her, but I don't know how heavily she smoked in her youth.

Yes, you can hire 24/7 live-in sitters. But there's the other thing that Koolau mentioned.

And how can you be sure that the sitter does not just goof off texting, or playing computer games, or chatting on some forums, instead of watching MIL, while you are on your 2-month RV trip or European trip? Maybe the sitter just calls friends over and has a heck of a party in my backyard pool?

 

[Koolau]

^^^ Yes, my MIL was a smoker. She did not smoke a lot after I knew her, but I don't know how heavily she smoked in her youth.

Yes, you can hire 24/7 live-in sitters. But there's the other thing that Koolau mentioned.

And how can you be sure that the sitter does not just goof off texting, or playing computer games, or chatting on some forums, instead of watching MIL, while you are on your 2-month RV trip or European trip? Maybe the sitter just calls friends over and has a heck of a party in my backyard pool?

Benjamin, I have just one word for you (okay 2 words for NW-Bound) Nanny Cam. See https://www.amazon.com/nanny-cam/s?k=nanny+cam

 

[audreyh1]

^^^ Yes, my MIL was a smoker. She did not smoke a lot after I knew her, but I don't know how heavily she smoked in her youth.

Yes, you can hire 24/7 live-in sitters. But there's the other thing that Koolau mentioned.

And how can you be sure that the sitter does not just goof off texting, or playing computer games, or chatting on some forums, instead of watching MIL, while you are on your 2-month RV trip or European trip? Maybe the sitter just calls friends over and has a heck of a party in my backyard pool?

I was talking about having sitters when you are there. And not necessarily live-in sitters. Multiple sitters that do shifts. You can build up. You can go through an agency. Gain experience before even considering taking short trips at first.

Is MIL under hospice care being that elderly and frail?

 

[NW-Bound]

No, we do not need sitters while we are at home. At this point, MIL can mostly take care of herself, but needs someone to look out for her and to remind her of her COPD condition.

Three years ago, she temporarily passed out for lack of oxygen, and fell. One good thing we were home to hear that "thunk", discover her on the floor and call 911. She was large-boned, but skinny now, and that saved her from breaking bones in that fall. That event was when she was first diagnosed with COPD.

Her COPD condition varies. She was able to wean off the oxygen concentrator for a while, then worsened and ended up in the ICU once more. After that bout, she again recovered, and was able to move about without the cannula.

Then, two weeks ago, we noticed that she was short of breath and was low in oxygen again. Back to wearing the cannula and being tethered to the oxygen concentrator. Left to herself, she would not know of her low-oxygen condition, and would pass out again and fall.

No, she's not under hospice care and does not have any other life-threatening condition, but at 94-year-old, simply does not have the physical and mental facilities that we take for granted.

 

[Koolau]

No, we do not need sitters while we are at home. At this point, MIL can mostly take care of herself, but needs someone to look out for her and to remind her of her COPD condition.

Three years ago, she temporarily passed out for lack of oxygen, and fell. One good thing we were home to hear that "thunk", discover her on the floor and call 911. She was large-boned, but skinny now, and that saved her from breaking bones in that fall. That event was when she was first diagnosed with COPD.

Her COPD condition varies. She was able to wean off the oxygen concentrator for a while, then worsened and ended up in the ICU once more. After that bout, she again recovered, and was able to move about without the cannula.

Then, two weeks ago, we noticed that she was short of breath and was low in oxygen again. Back to wearing the cannula and being tethered to the oxygen concentrator. Left to herself, she would not know of her low-oxygen condition, and would pass out again and fall.

No, she's not under hospice care and does not have any other life-threatening condition, but at 94-year-old, simply does not have the physical and mental facilities that we take for granted.

It's unfortunate but true that most COPD sufferers will go from crisis to crisis. A lot of it is improper O2 management - though at some point, no amount is enough. If she's using a concentrator, I THINK (don't quote me) pure O2 from a tank will get her further along in the process. I did know a guy who died when his O2 tank ran dry and he couldn't change tanks quickly enough.

My mom had to use O2 and (as her doctor said) was 'fortunate' to eventually get pneumonia and go out quick. The doctor called pneumonia "The old person's friend." The nursing home (with Dr.'s approval) was ready to give her a shot if she became uncomfortable, but she went very quickly and quietly. It was a life well lived and and death to celebrate. May it be so for all our loved ones.

 

[NW-Bound]

My mom had to use O2 and (as her doctor said) was 'fortunate' to eventually get pneumonia and go out quick. The doctor called pneumonia "The old person's friend."

+1

Nuf said.


PS. Back on MIL's condition, her pulmonary doctor was amazed of her recovery, after 2 bouts of ICU. Said he had not had a patient like her.

 

[NW-Bound]

Back on "Blow the Dough", MIL is broke, but if she were rich, what would she blow her dough on? A gold-plated oxygen concentrator?

Even I don't find anything that I crave to "blow the dough" on. Yes, I still want to go camp out in my RV by the sea and eat fresh seafood, but that does not take that much dough.

And I cannot do that yet.

 

[explanade]

Are you sure?

I saw that the national parks are going to require reservations again this year and they're filling up fast if not done.

I don't know why people couldn't RV this year. Unless you come in close contact with strangers who are also RV'ing?

But yeah it doesn't take much dough. You'd be staying at hotels rather than in a tent or an RV.

 

[NW-Bound]

Are you sure?

You have not read my earlier post about my wife's care of her mother severely limiting her ability to leave the home.

I guess I can take off by myself if I really want to go somewhere, but having my wife with me is more fun.

PS. For last year, the plan was to do a 2-month RV trek around the Great Lakes. Then, in 2021 the plan was another 6 to 8 weeks around Scandinavian countries. If not Covid, the MIL's health keeps all that from happening.