Do we need Facebook in ER?

[Onward]

I also have a love/hate relationship with technology. It's interesting to see how many others here do also. Maybe this is some kind of common trait in ER types.

I was a late-comer to Facebook, but I've slowly gotten completely hooked on it. Some of the reasons:

1. It's the only way to keep in touch with my teenage neices. They don't use email any more, since all their friends are on FB. My neices also don't seem to place or receive phone calls any more. It's all just text messaging and FB. I think this is fairly typical of teenagers these days.

2. With FB you can find and get in touch with literally anyone you have ever met in your life, from that kid you lost touch with in 4th grade to that crush you had on a trip to Europe in 1975. They're all there, and you can get and stay in touch with them effortlessly. I currently have about 120 friends there, and that seems to be on the low side for FB.

3. With FB not only can you exchange email-like messages with friends, but you get to see the running stream of events that make up their lives (limited by what they're willing to post, of course). You sort of get to be alongside them as they go through the ups and downs of life, and they get to participate in your ups and downs, if you want them to.

The security concers are real. You have to be prudent about your security settings and what you post. And some people do post a lot of crap that you need to wade through. But the advantages far outweight the disadvantages IMO.

 

[REWahoo]

2. With FB you can find and get in touch withliterally anyone you have ever met in your life, from that kid you lost touch with in 4th grade to that crush you had on a trip to Europe in 1975. .

Are you sure? How about past acquaintances who, like me, aren't comfortable with FB?

 

[Amethyst]

I use a pseudonym on Facebook. Therefore, I never get "searched" or invited to be friends. (When I want to invite someone, I send them a PM with my real name in it). I only have relatives and a few long-trusted acquaintances in my FB network. I have several long-term acquaintances who do not use FB, so it's not really that useful.

Amethyst

 

[Midpack]

I started the similar thread about a month ago. I joined Twitter then and I am finding it useful, I was pleasantly surprised by it's utility. I thought it was just kids texting each other, and there is that (how it started I gather), but there is much more to it than that. And you don't get buried in junk you're not interested at all, you can control the content you see easily. And it's not necessary to "keep up with it" - I can check Twitter several times a day or once every few days and it's useful either way. Heard it described as a 'river of information' that you can drink out of as often/infrequently as you want to.

Still getting familiar with Twitter, but I expect to try FaceBook eventually too. 500 million people must be on there for some reason - how many here resisted forums years ago?

And I don't want to resist technology and become my parents...I'd rather try it, and drop it if I don't like it - simple enough. YMMV

 

[Onward]

Are you sure? How about past acquaintances who, like me, aren't comfortable with FB?

Well, there will always be some holdouts. But their ranks are shrinking. Half a billion registered users so far.

 

[DeborahB]

I use a pseudonym on Facebook. Therefore, I never get "searched" or invited to be friends. (When I want to invite someone, I send them a PM with my real name in it). I only have relatives and a few long-trusted acquaintances in my FB network. I have several long-term acquaintances who do not use FB, so it's not really that useful.

Amethyst

I used an email address on FB that is only for FB - so if someone searches on any other of my email addresses, they won't find me. I also have a common first and last name, that helps. I limit access to my "friends" - not friends of friends. Nothing on there is public. I don't think my phone number is there (must check) - my birth date but not year is there. The photos are real but I'm not naked or anything too crazy.

If you don't take precautions like this - and limit your friends - you will be sorry. People with their cell phone numbers, birthdates, and so on - unlimited public access, 1200 friends - are nuts or else are public figures. Or both.

I think I'm below 150 friends and a lot of these are music friends I met on blues cruises. I wish I could have a separate list for part of that group but haven't figured out how. I haven't tried too hard.

I moved far away from where I grew up so my real friends are all over the country - FB helps me keep in touch. At least, it seems to.

 

[RonBoyd]

Well, there will always be some holdouts.

And there, of course, is nothing wrong with Old Fogies... per se.

 

[REWahoo]

And there, of course, is nothing wrong with Old Fogies... per se.

Don't call me Persey...

 

[Onward]

Through FB I've just been reunited with an entire group of childhood friends I went through elementary school and junior high with, then mostly lost touch with. They're now spread out all over the world. We've had a couple of mini face-to-face reunions so far, and we're having a big "everybody" reunion later this year.

BTW, CNBC is airing a new documentary on Faceboook this Thurs (Jan 6) at 9pm. I think that time applies to all time zones.

 

[BTravlin]

I finally joined a few months ago after one good friend kept pestering me about it. Other than him I don't think anyone was missing my presence. I do find it handy for keeping up with friends in other locations especially because of it's versatility but I don't even login daily so it's not that big of a deal. I do have the privacy controls screwed down tightly too.

 

[East Texas]

I have no interest in being on FB at this time. I realize they tout their privacy controls - I just don't want people outside my immediate circle knowing what I'm doing at any point in time. The opportunity for ID theft is almost exponential with social media. The nice thing about forums such as this is the anonymity.

We had one son tell us we had to sign up for Facebook so we could know what they and their little kidlettes are doing and see pictures of all their events. That relegates us to a less-than-acceptable status of "acquaintances". He essentially told us he's too busy to call (unless he needs something).

 

[Lsbcal]

Very interesting comments so far. REWahoo, we must have some DNA in common. The identity theft thing is a good reason not to put out too much personal info on the web -- even here on the ER forum.

Like NW-Bound I'm a bit introverted and spend too much time on the web at the present. I'd like to have more guy friends that are real and not virtual -- I could probably write a book on the psychology of that one. Maybe DW and I need to replace our wonderful corgi we lost a year ago. He was the only guy I could really relate too .

I did a search using my name on Google like "searches performed My Name" . The first hits were for Facebook people with my name. There is also a well know airplane Captain with my name. So I guess in a way I'm already out there

 

[Lsbcal]

...(snip)...
We had one son tell us we had to sign up for Facebook so we could know what they and their little kidlettes are doing and see pictures of all their events. That relegates us to a less-than-acceptable status of "acquaintances". He essentially told us he's too busy to call (unless he needs something).

There was someone in one of those newspaper columns (DW calls them Agony Aunts) who wrote in a few days ago about just such a thing. She wanted to see the grandkids and felt like she was being told to go get in line. I think the answer given by the columnist (Dear Abbey?) was to not make this an issue.

I might be tempted to tell my son that he could get in line in my trust document. But probably DW wouldn't like that tactic.

 

[DangerMouse]

What I find amusing is how everyone is reconnecting with these old "friends" from the past. If they were real friends would you have ever lost contact with them?

 

[Khan]

I reconnected with some relatives after a long time.
Then remembered why had not connected.
Dropped all of hem.
If anything important happens they have my home address.

 

[DeborahB]

Very interesting comments so far. REWahoo, we must have some DNA in common. The identity theft thing is a good reason not to put out too much personal info on the web -- even here on the ER forum.

Like NW-Bound I'm a bit introverted and spend too much time on the web at the present. I'd like to have more guy friends that are real and not virtual -- I could probably write a book on the psychology of that one. Maybe DW and I need to replace our wonderful corgi we lost a year ago. He was the only guy I could really relate too .

I did a search using my name on Google like "searches performed My Name" . The first hits were for Facebook people with my name. There is also a well know airplane Captain with my name. So I guess in a way I'm already out there

I am especially careful on this board because it is public. You don't have to register to see the posts.

A google search of my name eventually does get some hits for the real me... but with a common first & last name, most of the hits are other people. Do you mean google to see who is searching for you? Ummm I'll have to try that one out!

I'm public, I have a public presence through various things I've done. So I am private as much as possible. Possibly a contradiction but I try...

 

[Westernskies]

FB is what myspace wishes it had become. Email is dead, that was "cool" about 10 years ago.........now I wear out my delete button on a daily basis getting rid of spam. I am much more likely to return a message on FB from a friend than that same friend through "regular" email.........

Check your PM...

 

[REWahoo]

Check your PM...

Looks like you ended up in his spam folder...

 

[Sarah in SC]

Eh, maybe it is just a lazy person's way to interact without a whole bunch of effort, like Ha's relative who uses texts to avoid personal interaction.
I'd rather interact with people on this forum and through FB than face-to-face most of the time, a symptom of my introversion. I love being able to text instead of talk to people. Also, if you want to keep up with young folks, their FB pages are a fascinating way to be up to date on their goings-on.

And as for that fling in Europe--I did have a guy contact me who had such a fling with a girl who shares my first and maiden name and hometown but is quite a bit older than me. I friended him and hunted her down to friend him, too. Kinda glad he wasn't my fling, but still nice to have a ringside seat!

I divvy up my friends into categories like Hooping, Music People, Internet-buddies, Work-related, and Real life. That way I can limit posts to those who would be interested in them or in photo albums that feature them.

 

[Lsbcal]

... Do you mean google to see who is searching for you? Ummm I'll have to try that one out!
...

I had read somewhere that might be possible but have forgotten how to do it. I was trying to do it but just came up with people who have a similar name to mine. Also tried "who is searching for XXX" but that didn't work either. Not sure I want to know the answer anyway.

 

[Lsbcal]

What I find amusing is how everyone is reconnecting with these old "friends" from the past. If they were real friends would you have ever lost contact with them?

When I think of my friends from high school, I've concluded I like them as they are. Myths from the past. Don't think I ever had a guy that I'd call a true friend. Not in the sense that you could spill your heart out to them. For guys that's a problem I think. We guys all need to be John Wayne types I guess. You know, it's OK to open up and spill your emotional guts if you are dying in the arms of your combat friend on a battlefield somewhere far off. We spend a lot of time trying to be lead dog.

Maybe the spill-your-heart type friend is just reserved for female-female friendships? I think it works for some male-female relationships, mostly in marriage. Some of the things DW has told me that she's heard in her conversations with other females makes my jaw drop.

This could be a good topic for another thread ... hmmm.

 

[Purron]

I joined facebook ONLY because the charity group I'm a board member of decided to set up a page. It has been helpful for our group and quite popular. Here's my problem: a long lost cousin found me. We have nothing in common and, frankly, we are on opposite ends of the world reagrding our views on just about everything.

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but just think we don't have much to share. She's very active on facebook and I'm not active at all - again, I only joined to support my charity group. I'm a facebook dweeb, so any advice on how to tactfully handle this would be much appreciated.

 

[REWahoo]

Here's my problem: a long lost cousin found me. We have nothing in common and, frankly, we are on opposite ends of the world reagrding our views on just about everything.

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but just think we don't have much to share. She's very active on facebook and I'm not active at all - again, I only joined to support my charity group. I'm a facebook dweeb, so any advice on how to tactfully handle this would be much appreciated.

Second only to ID theft concerns, this is why I don't see any reason to have a FB account.

You kids get off my lawn...

 

[Major Tom]

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but just think we don't have much to share. She's very active on facebook and I'm not active at all - again, I only joined to support my charity group. I'm a facebook dweeb, so any advice on how to tactfully handle this would be much appreciated.

Just because someone is on your friends list on FB doesn't mean you have to interact with them that much (or even at all). My advice would be to leave her on your friends list and continue to log in with the same frequency (or lack of) as before. Just because her posts are on your stream (or whatever it's called) doesn't mean you have to comment on them. You may find that once in a blue moon she posts something you want to comment on. If not, no biggie.

 

[Purron]

Just because someone is on your friends list on FB doesn't mean you have to interact with them that much (or even at all). My advice would be to leave her on your friends list and continue to log in with the same frequency (or lack of) as before. Just because her posts are on your stream (or whatever it's called) doesn't mean you have to comment on them. You may find that once in a blue moon she posts something you want to comment on. If not, no biggie.

Thanks. Good advice. I did tell her when she "friended" me I'm not really a "facebook person" and only joined to support my charity group.