Embarrassed and guilty when asked...

[SAtoUS]

I'm ashamed to tell people I'm not working anymore, I'm not even 50.

Now when asked, I tell people I'm a property manager. Kinna true, I live on the income from all my properties

Anybody else feels the same?

 

[Walt34]

Nope. Never bothered me a bit.

 

[Senator]

Doesn't bother me a bit. It bothers me when I say I quit work at 56, rather than 46...

 

[travelover]

I just say long term unemployed and looking for a loan. That moves the conversation along.

 

[karen1972]

I think it totally depends on how old you are. People feel uncomfortable when you answer honestly. Lots of people then make assumptions to fit into their "normal". .. ie usually responses like, oh your unemployed or your husband must make a LOT of money, good for you. I just go with it, unless they are someone I'm going to see all the time, not really any of their business and I don't care... but there are a few people I wanted to be better friends with that are still adjusting.

 

[Ready]

What's wrong with saying "I'm retired"? It sounds perfectly normal to me. I say it all the time and rarely get much question about it.

 

[Luck_Club]

I'm ashamed to tell people I'm not working anymore, I'm not even 50.

Now when asked, I tell people I'm a property manager. Kinna true, I live on the income from all my properties

Anybody else feels the same?

1st congratulations on hitting the finish line so young. I've always dreaded and avoided the sooo what do you do conversation, while working.

I've often found that when someone asks the question it is usually for two reasons:
1) they want to brag about how important they are compared to you.
2) they want to see if they can get anything from you ie better job, contacts, or improved social status.

As I'm on the glide path, I'm struggling with the same issues, and have felt the curiosity and resentment when trying to figure out how to accomplish some of the challenges we will face when making the transition to full retirement.

 

[MRG]

Congratulations!

You will stop caring, trust me! Enjoy the novelty, it will not matter for long.

Property manager sounds great. Keep it short and sweet, let them imagine what you do.

Don't overdo it, asking my niece about her husband's job was interesting. I'm sure he's not a hit man for anybody, at least reasonably sure.[emoji3]

 

[btdt22]

I learned my lesson soon after I retired from the military at age 42. Took my truck in for an oil change and bragged about being retired. I soon realized that people coming in after me were leaving before me. Service manager, responding to my inquiry said with a 'feces' eating grin, "oh I thought your were retired and therefore wouldn't mind waiting".

 

[97guns]

When I first Fired a friend of my mom's visited her and we went out to dinner, he asked what I do and I told I'm that I'm retired and live off rental income, his response was "you shouldn't tell people your retired, you should say your a property manager", I never took that advice. I don't flaunt it, but if I'm asked it's always the same answer, Retired!

 

[RobbieB]

Not only am I not embarrassed to say "I'm retired", I usually throw my hands up in the air and do the hokey-pokey.

 

[Nemo2]

Since people look at me and think that nobody would ever have hired me in the first place, then stopping work at 46 doesn't strike them as unusual.

 

[gayl]

I fudge it when asked --- 1st FIREd 2/19/2004, 2nd FIREd 1/30/2017

 

[aja8888]

I just tell them to keep working and feeding the SS system for us men of leisure!

 

[Blue Collar Guy]

When people would see me or any of my relatives, they would ask "so did BCG retire yet?" No one was surprised when I packed it in, many were shocked that I decided to stay as long as I did. Certain occupations are made for young retirements.

The follow up question is the one I get odd looks and responses to. "So what are you doing now?" I used to tell everyone Im living off my pension, and trying to get a nice waitress job for Mrs BCG.

Now I tell everyone Im keeping mom alive so I can cash her social security check every month. The ones that know me laugh, the ones that dont get it, I dont care about anyway.

 

[Meadbh]

I’m proud to be retired. I’ve earned it!

These days few people ask me “what do you do?” or “what were you before you retired?”. It makes for some interesting conversations when people bring out their crazy health care theories. (I used to be a physician).

 

[cathy63]

What's wrong with saying "I'm retired"? It sounds perfectly normal to me. I say it all the time and rarely get much question about it.

Yeah, me too. I wonder if it's a California thing ... or maybe it's just that we look older than we think we do.

 

[Aerides]

I get it, OP. I'm 48. Saying I'm Retired to people outside immediate family and friends invites more discussion than I'm going to want to have. No, I don't want to have a whole discussion about my finances, and why I'm not "working" and what I do all day with people I don't know very well.


It's a very american thing to ask "what do you do?" as an intro. Other countries might view that as intrusive or at least not very personal, but in the US we are defined very much by what we do for a living.

People ask "what do you do" the say way they ask "how are you?" - they want a quick polite answer and move on.

So.. have a quick answer ready for "what do you do" - that gets past the inquiry and on to other topics. Your property manager line sounds perfect.

I'm a jewelry designer. I'm a woodworker. I'm a landscape designer. I'm a travel consultant. whatever works for you.

 

[Rambler]

To most people who ask, I just say I'm retired...hey, I earned it...now I can retire if I want to.

OTOH, there are a few people who get a different response, because I know that if I said I'm retire, their hand would be out asking for money. DW's sister is one of those. I tell her I act as an investment advisor for a couple of people. I don't tell her that my only customers are myself and my DW.

When I feel guilty for being retired, it is solely because I have certain expertise that could be used more productively, not because of what anyone else thinks. But that doesn't happen too often. ��

 

[lwp2017]

I'm ready for the question, " Retired? So what do you do now?"

I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
Playin' my music in the sun
I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a mid-nite toker
( well maybe someday if Texas ever decriminalizes it ) [emoji12]

 

[RE2Boys]

Retired at 50 here but always have something going on, such as a seasonal very part time job, or a little self-employment.

For 15 years I just said I was semi-retired, never got much further questions, told folks my company downsized and made me an offer to leave (which was the truth). Only after I turned 65 do I now use the term retired.

 

[Montecfo]

I'm ready for the question, " Retired? So what do you do now?"

I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
Playin' my music in the sun
I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a mid-nite toker
( well maybe someday if Texas ever decriminalizes it ) [emoji12]

You left out "...i get my lovin' on the run."

I assume that's because you now have more time...

 

[FIREd]

These days few people ask me “what do you do?” or “what were you before you retired?”.

+1

The last time I was asked was 2-3 years ago. I just replied "I don't work". The person replied "cool" and moved on.

I attended a neighborhood get-together recently and so much of the conversation was about people's jobs (yawn). I was the only one who was not asked what he did for a living. People always seem more interested in other aspects of my life for some reason - I have a "you're-not-from-around-here" accent and it usually drives the conversation.

 

[gcgang]

I'm ashamed to tell people I'm not working anymore, I'm not even 50.

Why do you think you feel ashamed?

 

[frank2009]

Private wealth manager.

But I like IWP's response better.