Friends are all broke!

[Chuckanut]

In a descending pension, I suppose payments gradually decline (the opposite of an 'indexed' pension with COLA)?

Well, that would be true if inflation gets out of control.

Thanks for the heads-up. I have corrected the errors.

 

[Mdlerth]

It's not always about the money

I doubt many with younger kids would RE, even if they would w/o.

I have a friend at w*rk, 57 years old and a very competent investor (NW north of 10 mil). He is staying on a couple more years as an example of positive work ethic for his two teenage children.

 

[bmcgonig]

I have a friend at w*rk, 57 years old and a very competent investor (NW north of 10 mil). He is staying on a couple more years as an example of positive work ethic for his two teenage children.

That just blows my mind.

 

[athena53]

I have a friend at w*rk, 57 years old and a very competent investor (NW north of 10 mil). He is staying on a couple more years as an example of positive work ethic for his two teenage children.

I would think that retiring early (and being able to do so) would be just as good an example.

I know that when my Dad was demoted in his late 50s and decided to cut loose and try another career because he and Mom had the savings and could take the risk, it really made an impression on me.

 

[Milton]

Well, that would be true if inflation gets out of control.

Thanks for the heads-up. I have corrected the errors.

Well done. No point in taking any of this stuff too seriously!

 

[pj.mask]

I share finances with friends. Ask for and give advice (when asked).

My SO is a bit more fancy but I am into casual clothes and doing cheap things. Fancy people tend to not like doing cheap things and people who enjoy intellectual conversations on complex topics tend to earn decent income; put those two together and it usually works out.

 

[CoolRich59]

I would think that retiring early (and being able to do so) would be just as good an example.

Absolutely. That's the message I have been (hopefully) instilling in my kids.

Plus, after instruction and example, I feel I have satisfied my parental obligations in this area. At this point, I don't think continuing to work is going to change their behavior.

 

[brett]

I snicker to myself when I hear the 'poor me' or the 'your so lucky' noise from folks who simply made bad financial decisions or ate themselves into poor health, diabetes etc.

Just more instances of people trying to blame others for their self inflicted problems.

 

[Souschef]

I snicker to myself when I hear the 'poor me' or the 'your so lucky' noise from folks

This struck a chord with me. Some time ago DW ran into an acquaintance she had not seen in quite a while. The person gushed, You and your husband were always so lucky".
My wife looked at her and said, My husband died 5 years ago". The woman paled, turned around and walked away.

 

[Sunset]

I snicker to myself when I hear the 'poor me' or the 'your so lucky' noise from folks who simply made bad financial decisions or ate themselves into poor health, diabetes etc.

Just more instances of people trying to blame others for their self inflicted problems.

I'm usually too shocked by their stupidity at saying such a thing, and have trouble replying as it would probably be pretty rude.

 

[FlaGator]

We would like to find friends in their late 40s early 50s like us (still with fairly young kids) that are FI and are either semi or totally retired. Its basically impossible. Most people are broke and even the ones that appear to have money and live like us need their large paychecks every two weeks.

It's tough. Called it good at 55 with a 13 and 10 year old. Pretty small "peer group" when I try to check all the boxes. Have ended up with acquaintances that are either parents of teens involved in the same activities as mine or adequately-funded empty nesters, and there has been no overlap.

Enjoy being with both groups - school-related activities mean spending time with people as dedicated to their kids' success as I am, and I do my weekend socializing with the other group. In neither situation does money come up. In the parent group, we all act like we're in the same financial corridor (even though I see differences) and in the second we just spend like it doesn't matter

Would like it to be different, but this is working out well after a few years.

 

[athena53]

I snicker to myself when I hear the 'poor me' or the 'you're so lucky' noise from folks who simply made bad financial decisions or ate themselves into poor health, diabetes etc.

My Aunt told me that when her two sons, who never went past HS and dabbled at various jobs all their lives, heard that my brother was retiring at age 60, they wanted to know (with a tinge of jealousy) how he was able to do it. He had an Engineering degree, was steadily employed his whole career, and spent the last 10 or so years in a job that he didn't enjoy all that much after his employer was bought by MegaCorp. The politics got so bad he was one of the few people left from the acquired company. He left with a generous DB pension, although they just stopped paying for his health insurance, which was a big shock.

And, speaking of bad decisions- a HS classmate who, from what I can tell, doesn't have a high-powered job (her employer is a "Family Recreational Center", which looks like a city-owned version of a YM/YWCA) just posted a picture of her new (as in current model year) Buick. There's a whole string of posts congratulating her. I can't bring myself to participate. I bought my last current model-year car in 1991 and that will be my last. I'm driving a 2012 sedan DH and I bought off rental 2 years ago.
A brand-new car is not worth it.

 

[Fishingmn]

We are fortunate that the majority of our friends seem to be doing well. While none of them are retired yet (we are semi-retired at 55) they are quite available to go on vacations with us or out on the town.

DW's 3 younger sisters are doing pretty well too. 2 of the BIL's are cops and will be able to retire at 55 if they choose. My younger brother is not doing as well but he leads a simple life anyway.

Key factor for most seems to be college educated, stable work history and almost all of them are in a long term marriage. The one friend who got divorced is definitely the worst off of the 8 of us in my guys golf group.

 

[CoolRich59]

I snicker to myself when I hear the 'poor me' or the 'your so lucky' noise from folks who simply made bad financial decisions or ate themselves into poor health, diabetes etc.

Just more instances of people trying to blame others for their self inflicted problems.

I think of one person in particular who makes "you're lucky" comments to me.

It's the same guy who laughed at me when I decided to go to law school at night - while he was spending his evenings watching sitcoms or playing slots at a casino. But, I'm retiring early because "I'm lucky".

 

[Mdlerth]

I think of one person in particular who makes "you're lucky" comments to me.

DW tells me that all the time.

 

[redduck]

DW tells me that all the time.

Funny, she says the same thing to me.

 

[UnrealizedPotential]

It's said money is the root of all evil. But when it comes to siblings it just seems like if you have more money than them they want you to either suffer from guilt or displeasure or they want you to drown in the same suffering mode they are in.

But why would anyone who has worked hard all their life to get some kind of a nest egg want to go backwards just to please them? If I could it would be nice to help others along the way but that is easier said than done for too many reasons I do not care to write. All we can do is try to learn something from others that area of which we are weak in ourselves and if we are lucky we might gain a few insights on how to improve our situation. But to really help someone from zero to success, no, I think only in very few cases is this possible.

 

[Danmar]

I would think that retiring early (and being able to do so) would be just as good an example.

I know that when my Dad was demoted in his late 50s and decided to cut loose and try another career because he and Mom had the savings and could take the risk, it really made an impression on me.

That would be my opinion as well. What really has impressed my daughter (she has told me this) was my success in my career coupled with my investing success. Retiring early (56) was simply a result of the previous successes. Working when you don’t have to seems neutral from a moral stand point, at least to me.

 

[redduck]

It's said money is the root of all evil.

Yes, it is said that way, but that saying is incorrect:
The original quote is:

"The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows" (I Timothy 6:10).

Just what is wrong with money?

 

[Danmar]

As far as being called “lucky’ by “underachievers”. This often happens to me. I dont “snicker” as this might be viewed as rude, instead I say “yes I am very lucky”. What I actually believe is something I think is best kept to myself.

 

[athena53]

As far as being called “lucky’ by underachievers. This often happens to me. I dont “snicker” as this might be viewed as rude, instead I say “yes I am very lucky”. What I actually believe is something I think is best kept to myself.

An old boss used to say, "Luck is the distillation of effort". There's still luck involved, of course- good genes, good health, being born into a family that values education, etc. I know that's not 100% true for all of us here, but what you do with what you have makes the difference.

 

[FIREmenow]

As far as being called “lucky’ by underachievers. This often happens to me. I dont “snicker” as this might be viewed as rude, instead I say “yes I am very lucky”. What I actually believe is something I think is best kept to myself.

An old boss used to say, "Luck is the distillation of effort". There's still luck involved, of course- good genes, good health, being born into a family that values education, etc. I know that's not 100% true for all of us here, but what you do with what you have makes the difference.

Then there is the venerable, "Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity."

A couple more I like:

"Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. --Ray Kroc

and

"Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure." --Earl Wilson

 

[Danmar]

An old boss used to say, "Luck is the distillation of effort". There's still luck involved, of course- good genes, good health, being born into a family that values education, etc. I know that's not 100% true for all of us here, but what you do with what you have makes the difference.

Agree. Not to mention lucky choices as to where we work, who we associate with, coworkers, field of study, aptitude, etc. You can debate the proportion of luck vs “smarts” but even “smarts” can be at least partially attributed to luck. I think it’s really a philosophical question. What I do know, is that you will have more friends if you at least say it’s luck.

 

[Meadbh]

Someone recently remarked that I was “lucky” to be able to retire early and enjoy the travel and other activities that I do. I pointed out that, while I was fortunate to grow up in a stable household with frugal parents and to be blessed with a modicum of intelligence, I had studied for sixteen years after high school, migrated to two new countries, worked for 32 years, often more than 70 hours per week, lived frugally, and have paid, and continue to pay, a lot of money in taxes. Luck has been a contributing factor, but hard work and sacrifice has been critical to my FIRE.

 

[Danmar]

Someone recently remarked that I was “lucky” to be able to retire early and enjoy the travel and other activities that I do. I pointed out that, while I was fortunate to grow up in a stable household with frugal parents and to be blessed with a modicum of intelligence, I had studied for sixteen years after high school, migrated to two new countries, worked for 32 years, often more than 70 hours per week, lived frugally, and have paid, and continue to pay, a lot of money in taxes. Luck has been a contributing factor, but hard work and sacrifice has been critical to my FIRE.

You pointed that out to that person? Gee I bet they really enjoyed that?
I could say something like, “ ya going to school 4 nights a week while holding down a full time job for the whole decade of my 20’s. Getting 3 post grad degrees, working those 70 hour weeks. But what would be the point? I simply say “yes, I am very lucky”. They usually get the picture regardless.