Someday's I feel no purpose

I did have that problem of "Not having a purpose" for a while after retirement. Then the light dawned over Marblehead and I realized that being retired, I don't need or want a purpose. If I had a purpose I would then feel compelled to expend a lot of energy meeting and achieving that purpose. And dangnabit, I already did that, and earned the right to achieve as little as possible!

I'm succeeding.

A while back a fella called Nords wrote a great post about this phenomenon: http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f30/the-fog-of-work-42328.html
 
My purpose is to take care of my health, spend more time with my children and grandchildren, learn another language, and generally have control of my own time.
 
I think tools have a purpose. For example, what is the purpose of a hammer? To hammer in nails.

Now, if I was a religious person (which I'm not, I'm agnostic), then in a sense I would be a tool of my deity, devoting my life to whatever purpose He saw for me.

But I am not to be used for a purpose, by anybody, even a deity, no way, no how, nope nope nope.

In retirement I get to define what to do every day. Perhaps some would say I have no purpose, in that no [-]moronic, addle-brained[/-] supervisor is telling me what I have to do with every moment of every work day [-]and micromanaging me half to death while I do it[/-].

To me, retirement is FREEDOM. It's a weird feeling at first, pretty heady, and pretty awesome, really! But I like it very much.
 
I have found that friends are very important. When I was working, life was very structured and that gave purpose. Since I have retired, my life is still structured and I make a list of things to do each day. That goes along with the calendar. The list is not set in stone, and that is what is good about being free. You can change plans on a whim. I like living more in the present now. I hope this helps...friends and a list.
 

I never did feel I had to have a purpose in life. I only thought about it (but, never for long) when someone else would mention it). I enjoyed working for 30+ years, but if the job were my purpose, it missed recognizing it. If I had another purpose, it must have been so minute that I didn’t realize it (I hate it when that happens).

However, being productive (or at least conning myself into thinking that I am productive)—well, that seems to have some importance to me. And, since I’m in charge, I get to decide what feels productive. Working long days and making good money was certainly evidence (to me) of being productive.

Now, it appears that I am no longer working. I found myself, let’s say, downsizing what productivity is. I can’t build a house (I guess that might be considered productive by some others), and I’m not handy, so I can’t do plumbing (maybe it’s because I don’t have the right tools). But, anyway, I can call a plumber and set up an appointment. And, I can feel that’s being productive. Just the other day, I learned what the “backspace key” on the computer keyboard does—just how productive is that? “Plenty,” I say.

So lowering the bar (that’s productive right there), or calling someone in to lower the bar (maybe a little less productive, but still productive) might be a good idea for those who are looking for a purpose in life. Takes a lot of pressure off.
 
Ed_The_Gypsy said:
I have been finding that if you ain't somebody, you're nobody. I am trying to adjust to that.
Click to expand...

There's another thread on this forum about those leaving high profile jobs.

After being 'somebody' for 30+ years, I'm quite enjoying being nobody.
 
As a few of you have stated this also is my first winter in retirement. In addition we have had the coldest and harshest winter in decades (Portland). Knowing that the winters would be difficult we committed to somewhere between 2-4 weeks in a warm tropical place every year. This year we're leaving for Mexico at the end of the month.

In addition I've been studying for a month to become tax certified for AARP Tax Aide program which will keep a couple/few days a week very busy until we're out of the winter.

Yes we're bored at times but it seems like we spend more time in bed resting up for spring/summer period where we burn the candle at both ends.
 
W2R said:
I think tools have a purpose. For example, what is the purpose of a hammer? To hammer in nails.

Now, if I was a religious person (which I'm not, I'm agnostic), then in a sense I would be a tool of my deity, devoting my life to whatever purpose He saw for me.

But I am not to be used for a purpose, by anybody, even a deity, no way, no how, nope nope nope.

In retirement I get to define what to do every day. Perhaps some would say I have no purpose, in that no [-]moronic, addle-brained[/-] supervisor is telling me what I have to do with every moment of every work day [-]and micromanaging me half to death while I do it[/-].

To me, retirement is FREEDOM. It's a weird feeling at first, pretty heady, and pretty awesome, really! But I like it very much.
Click to expand...
I totally agree with this sentiment.

AN EXAMPLE: I'm so worked up about freedom that I don't even want to have others teach me how to do something (for a fee). For instance, I like to do drawing and painting outdoors. There are others in an informal art group I get together with monthly. Some take classes from other artists and a few people consider themselves above my skill level (they might be right as they did some art for pay). I won't take a class from another artist because I'm at the level where I have to express what I see for myself. I don't want to mimic others and whenever you take a class, that teacher will always remember that student-teacher dynamic and you will be slightly inferior forever. I've sold a few paintings but no more of that. I don't want to be judged by buyers or gallery owners -- no need for the profits and money does not mix with art at all well for me. Van Gogh is my idol in this (self taught, never made money in art) ... but no plans to disfigure myself. :)

Freedom is tough because one has to define themselves and live with their own limitations. But it is liberating.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: W2R
Lsbcal said:
I won't take a class from another artist because I'm at the level where I have to express what I see for myself. I don't want to mimic others and whenever you take a class, that teacher will always remember that student-teacher dynamic and you will be slightly inferior forever. I've sold a few paintings but no more of that. I don't want to be judged by buyers or gallery owners -- no need for the profits and money does not mix with art at all well for me. Van Gogh is my idol in this (self taught, never made money in art) ... but no plans to disfigure myself. :)
Click to expand...
Bob Clyatt mentioned once that he got to a certain point in sculpting and felt that he was ready to do more than just accurately re-create the human body in motion.

He spent some time with an art instructor. But rather than a teacher-student relationship, it was more like a collaboration. The guy told Bob: "You really know how to sculpt. Now let's make some art!"

I don't know whether Bob's sales even pay for his heating bill in his studio during the winter months, but he's reached out to a wide circle of other artists to join in their shows.

Maybe it's better to move past the instructor-student relationship and see it as collaboration or socializing. Then you can "Steal Like An Artist".
https://www.amazon.com/Steal-Like-Artist-Things-Creative-ebook/dp/B0074QGGK6/ref=sr_1_1
 
The dark of winter was getting to me as the days got shorter and darker. Over Christmas my wife suggested I escape to the sun for a bit. Right now I am north of Puerto Vallarta for a week of biking in the sun. Today was the first ride of 35 miles - feeling better already!
 
W2R said:
I think tools have a purpose. For example, what is the purpose of a hammer? To hammer in nails.

Now, if I was a religious person (which I'm not, I'm agnostic), then in a sense I would be a tool of my deity, devoting my life to whatever purpose He saw for me.

But I am not to be used for a purpose, by anybody, even a deity, no way, no how, nope nope nope.

In retirement I get to define what to do every day. Perhaps some would say I have no purpose, in that no [-]moronic, addle-brained[/-] supervisor is telling me what I have to do with every moment of every work day [-]and micromanaging me half to death while I do it[/-].

To me, retirement is FREEDOM. It's a weird feeling at first, pretty heady, and pretty awesome, really! But I like it very much.
Click to expand...

W2R, your comment is quite accurate at least for me. As a Christian, I do have a purpose and that is to help the kid's camp up here. Their mission is to bring people of all ages to Christ. Before I can be a whole lot of help, I need a place to stay. This old motor home is OK for a temporary place, but I don't see myself staying in it for the rest of my life. Thus the house building project. I have been at this project for coming up on three years now. If it is too cold, I don't work on it. If I feel the urge, I go skiing. I don't start too early or work too late. Fortunately, this winter I have some heat in the place so the cold doesn't keep me from doing anything the whole winter as in the past. When will I finish the house? I have no clue. But I am quite happy working on it. I also do little projects for the camp like the year it took to get a title for a donated truck that came without a clear title. So for me, even with a purpose and more than plenty to do, I still enjoy retirement.
 
  • Like
Reactions: W2R
We all have a purpose in life, but it's not always obvious and some of the purpose has already happened in the past, with some ahead of us. In my past there are more than a dozen families that still have a father, mother, brother, sister or child because of my contributions through my military search and rescue years. I remember one in particular where we saved a young pilot with two children under 4 years old whose daddy we picked up out of the cold Pacific after his F-16 went down. He doesn't know my name, but his kids and probably now grandkids know him. More recently and less exciting, I provide guidance to my family when asked on everything from finance to job searches. Also a Christian, I help others through the churches or through random interactions where somebody needs a hand. My faith guides me and I often learn from other's examples how to be a better person. I look at a purpose as doing whatever I can to make life better for people in little ways or sometimes major impacts on a life. I don't care if they know or remember who helped them. Even family sometimes don't have a clue what or who made something happen. I don't need or want recognition from them, but it's as much or more of a purpose for being here as w*rking in a career I no longer need. I've made an impact on lives and families for the good. Now it's time to have a little me time for my health, my relationship with my beautiful bride of 18 years, my grown children and soon to be born grandson, and with God through prayer. Life is good!
 
Purpose

Hermit & Dashman: Great posts. Thank you to both of you for your service to others.Everyone is different, and I appreciate those who find their purpose in life by helping other people.Everyone does not have to help others- and that is ok. Although In my life I enjoyed helping others for 30 years as a firefighter. In retirement I am now looking for other ways to help people. Retirement gives people the freedom to search for new ways to pursue a purpose of serving others for those who choose to pursue that path.( whether it is becoming active in your church, food shelter, or favorite charity,...).I appreciate everyone on this forum for discussing these interesting and important issues.
 
Dash man said:
We all have a purpose in life, but it's not always obvious and some of the purpose has already happened in the past, with some ahead of us. In my past there are more than a dozen families that still have a father, mother, brother, sister or child because of my contributions through my military search and rescue years. I remember one in particular where we saved a young pilot with two children under 4 years old whose daddy we picked up out of the cold Pacific after his F-16 went down. He doesn't know my name, but his kids and probably now grandkids know him.
Click to expand...
Wow! Talk about purpose the world has been made a much better place by you. May your future be as wonderful as your past.

Ha
 
I am glad everyone else is so well adjusted. ;)

I am comfy admitting that I still struggle with all of this 3 years after quitting the day job. I miss the sense of accomplishment, the (very occasional) recognition, intellectual challenge and the social aspects of my old career. Part of this is that I still have younger kids and lots of family responsibilities so DW and I are still tied to the suburban house, school schedule, etc. Part of this is that there are simply things that I miss to a greater or lesser degree. I might never stop missing some of this stuff, or it might fade over time. I have found some of it by picking up some consulting/contracting gigs that stem from my career. For now, it works for me.
 
Mdlerth said:
My purpose in life is to make it to retirement. Has been since my first year in the sweatshop. TMY to my rendezvous with destiny!
Click to expand...


I think those who have defined their purpose in life the way you have are the most likely to feel as if they have no purpose once they get there. While I'm not saying you will, or won't, I think I'd put myself into that category.

At times it reminds me of the old Peggy Lee song, "is that all there is?"...Somewhat like the feeling I had when I was a little guy, after looking forward to Christmas for weeks (or months) and all of the presents were unwrapped.

But as the days progress, and I approach the one year mark, more and more I realize, "Yes this is all there is, and it's plenty."

and when I get too serious about all of this I just have to remember this:
 
I like to feel that I have done something, some little thing at least, to make forward progress. One can define forward progress in many ways.

As for purpose, just my opinion that it is a man made concept. Mostly life's main thrust is reproduction. Seems to hold for all life on Earth. Some are very good at that one. ;)
 
I believe everyone has a purpose and we don't think of it as purpose. The meaning of purpose are 1-5 and for me I can see purpose in each one of through out my life or in each day.

1)the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.

2)an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal.

3)determination; resoluteness.

4)the subject in hand; the point at issue.

5)practical result, effect, or advantage:
 
Lsbcal said:
Mostly life's main thrust is reproduction.
Click to expand...

I never had kids of my own, and now I have a whole passel of granddaughters....which has invoked a hitherto unthought-of 'purpose', i.e. to impart my (extremely limited) experience/knowledge.

Right now I'm working on the just-turned-five-year-old, (who is already smarter than me), and reinforcing scepticism......figure by the time she's sixteen "Yeah, right" will be an integral part of her vocabulary. :LOL:
 
Lsbcal said:
AN EXAMPLE: I'm so worked up about freedom that I don't even want to have others teach me how to do something (for a fee). For instance, I like to do drawing and painting outdoors. There are others in an informal art group I get together with monthly. Some take classes from other artists and a few people consider themselves above my skill level (they might be right as they did some art for pay). I won't take a class from another artist because I'm at the level where I have to express what I see for myself. I don't want to mimic others and whenever you take a class, that teacher will always remember that student-teacher dynamic and you will be slightly inferior forever. I've sold a few paintings but no more of that. I don't want to be judged by buyers or gallery owners -- no need for the profits and money does not mix with art at all well for me. Van Gogh is my idol in this (self taught, never made money in art) ... but no plans to disfigure myself. :)

Freedom is tough because one has to define themselves and live with their own limitations. But it is liberating.
Click to expand...

+1

Same here. Self taught musician and photographer. Sure I could have "progressed" more with real instruction, but I was in school being told what to do for two decades. Enough! Now I'm fine with learning by reading and the tons of stuff online. The electronic and internet revolutions have made it a great time to be an artist if you can afford the time off to indulge.

It's great being an artist in FIRE. I can "follow my muse" wherever I am taken, and I don't have to worry about "making a living". In fact, small half-hearted attempts to monetize photography have been at least as stressful as my former day j*b. I learned my lesson and now focus on the process of creation as a means of self-expression and, well, it's just plain fun! :D
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

T
Literally: Life After Fire
2 3
Replies
62
Views
4K
Koolau
Koolau
F
I have COVID and need help. I am in panic mode
2 3
Replies
52
Views
2K
F.I.R.E User
F
H
Feeling lost after FIRE
2 3 4
Replies
77
Views
12K
brett
B
S
The goal of achieving financial freedom is to have the opportunity to only do purpose
2
Replies
34
Views
3K
Koolau
Koolau
H
Passively-managed Job after FIRE
Replies
16
Views
2K
JohnC12
J

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom