DangerMouse
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
The common denominator to most "good" deaths is acceptance. It gives boundaries to the sadness. Fighting to the end when futility is clear is often misdirected courage, and makes things much worse for patients and loved ones.
At least is seems that way to me.
RIT, think you have put it very well. I saw with both our friend and my father who also had cancer, once they accepted the cancer was going to win and the end was near, they almost gave everyone else permission to accept the inevitable. It became easier because no-one was focusing on the next course of treatment or what will the next scans show. The focus totally changed to being all about what would come next.
My father was a big supporter of euthanasia, he was also in a lot of pain with his pancreatic cancer. However, it was probably not up until the very end when he could no longer do anything for himself that he would have chosen that avenue. On the other hand, our friend who just died had very little pain and it was only at the end within the last couple of days that he was suggesting if euthanasia was an option he would have taken it.