To move or stay

[dumpster56]

Been semi retired for 15 years. Bought new custom house just south of Raleigh in 2005. Good neighborhood good town nice 2700 sq foot house with a 100 dollar mortgage on it. Owe 29,000 value now 390. Issue in my head, do we sell and move to a 55 community . In the area, going to come in around 425. then add 300 in HOA fee and then probably a 75K mortgage. I keep looking like the grass is greener in my head. Yes smaller house, in the house we have now we have new roof, new HWH, new Bosch Dishwasher , new oven, painted, only big item is a new replacement of the rear deck. Financially to sell 18K fee to realtor, 3K movers, 4K window treatments new house. Then 700 a month instead of 240 a month. Just a Sunday morning ramble in. my head, been here 15 years, is it just time to move or should I just fix the deck and stay. I am now going to be 65 still waiting to take SS closer to 70 work PT as track coach local HS and sub teach as much or as little as I want. We have pensions healthcare covered for both of us even part B and prescriptions. Wife has taken her SS at 63 she is now 67.We have guaranteed income without my SS now of 50K, I make an additional 25K doing what I have been doing which is fun. I am looking at closed to 40K in SS at 68 is I dunno. Sorry about the ramble. Suggestions Peeps ))

Thanks

Al

 

[pb4uski]

From what your wrote, it sounds like it is more of a lifestyle decision than a financial decision... IOW, either alternative is affordable and comfortable financially... the extra $460/month is affordable.... so it comes down to personal preference.

I prefer smaller myself and as you age the 2700 sf home will become more of a maintenance burden.

 

[RunningBum]

Did you used to post as newguy88?

 

[dumpster56]

Yes , longtime ago . Been just enjoying our time .

 

[dumpster56]

Running still some hip is fried . Biking more . Waiting on hip replacement until Covid is under control. Maybe late next year . I still manage 30 to 50 miles of running a month now . 15 days or so . All good .

 

[Freedom56]

If you are healthy and happy where you are, I would not move. I personally would not move to a 55 plus community. We have seen first hand what it can do mentally to family members who have done so. We kept our parents out of that environment and they are still going strong in their mid eighties. Although people age physically, mentally most people still feel much younger. It's better if your environment includes people from all age groups.

 

[Midpack]

We decided against a 55+ community even though we loved their (one story) floor plans. I am NOT suggesting our reasons are universal. Our reasons - YMMV.

Pros

• Easier to meet people who could become friends. It has been harder in a mixed gen neighborhood, and it only gets harder the older we get.
• Everything taken care of - grounds, comm center, pool.
• Quality homes, nice floor plans (we leaned toward Epcon communities)

Cons

• A steady diet of old folks. Mixed Gen has been more interesting, keeps you young at heart and more current in the world.
• Might be an active lifestyle at the start when the median age is 60, but what about 15 years later when aging really starts setting in? When the median age is 80? We went to an established Del Webb community built 20 years ago, it was creepy to us. Wheelchairs and walkers all over, no thanks.
• More than younger folks, IME older folks like to complain about their health and politics, that’s tiresome. Listening to a group of old folks detailing their medical issues and comparing who’s worse off is unbearable to me - I’ve (briefly) overhead those discussions a few times, no thanks. I guess some people enjoy those discussions...
• We still embrace change, technology etc. IME many old people resist change.
• Relatively high HOA fees.
• Other people’s grandkids can become a nuisance, noise, taking over the pool/comm center.

Again, your pros and cons could be much different.

 

[latexman]

I'm in "Capex"; Cary services/Apex mailing address.

Could this be cabin fever from extended social distancing? It could be time to downsize though.

I'm 63 and still w*rking full time. 2.5 years ago we downsized from our 6 BR/5 kid home to a 3 BR/master on ground floor home. Yes, less is better! It's not 55+ but we love it. This may be our forever home, we'll see. I can foresee even less responsibility might be needed; especially no yard work.

 

[MarieIG]

My question for you is: Are you still enjoying your house?

If so, fix your deck and enjoy it some more. (Fixing that deck also can't hurt resale value when you are ready in any event.)

Of course, if you really want to move, you can do so. Personally, since you are in a custom built house now - in your shoes I would really want to be head-over-heels with the prospective new home before moving.

 

[Rianne]

I enjoy the diverse and energetic opinions/lifestyle of our younger neighbors. Plus we live in a Big Ten university town. I like when my opinion is challenged. I would never live in a +55 community.

We investigated a +55 community a few years back. It simply did not feel right. When we had a driveway get together recently, distanced but filled with wine and individually wrapped snacks, our discussion went on for 3 1/2 hours into the darkness of the early evening. Eleven of our neighbors were there, mostly younger than us. A few were 20 years younger than us. A mixed political group. I did not feel a bit of judgement. We look out for each other, yell across the street and yard to say hello. A real community, respectful and diverse.

Our house is a ranch, 2500 sq. ft. No mortgage but a full garden and yard that DH loves to tend. It works for us.

 

[dumpster56]

Oh the 55 active adult is just one option . I am not totally sold on them . I do feel they take an awful lot of personality away ))

 

[LRDave]

Might be an active lifestyle at the start when the median age is 60, but what about 15 years later when aging really starts setting in? When the median age is 80? We went to an established Del Webb community built 20 years ago, it was creepy to us. Wheelchairs and walkers all over, no thanks.

I've often wondered what those Margaritaville over-55s will look like in 20 years? Sad, I bet....

 

[gwraigty]

Cons

• A steady diet of old folks. Mixed Gen has been more interesting, keeps you young at heart and more current in the world.
• Might be an active lifestyle at the start when the median age is 60, but what about 15 years later when aging really starts setting in? When the median age is 80? We went to an established Del Webb community built 20 years ago, it was creepy to us. Wheelchairs and walkers all over, no thanks.
  
  <snip>
  

Again, your pros and cons could be much different.

There is a brand new 55+ resort community about 5 minutes down the road from our house. A little bit of Internet detective work shows that most of the people moving in so far are in their 70s and 80s. It's not what I expected to see. I'm not sure how far along the entire development is. People just started moving in around March or so.

 

[Midpack]

There is a brand new 55+ resort community about 5 minutes down the road from our house. A little bit of Internet detective work shows that most of the people moving in so far are in their 70s and 80s. It's not what I expected to see. I'm not sure how far along the entire development is. People just started moving in around March or so.

I don’t doubt it. The only communities we looked at were new Epcon neighborhoods and they had decidedly younger residents for the most part. But we had the foresight to look at some well established (20-30 years) 55+ communities too and it was awful. The community center looked like an elder care facility with wheelchairs, walkers and oxygen bottles everywhere. Even people outside looked infirmed. Not for us.

 

[Koolau]

We have friends - early 70's - who moved to a 55+ community in FL. They chose carefully to get the amenities they wanted (tennis courts, pool, social rooms, established activity groups, etc.) They have sent us videos of all the stuff they do (he plays in a band, they have 'rallies' in their golf carts, there are bible studies and card clubs.)

So, while 55+ doesn't appeal to me, it has worked out very well for them. Do your homework as YMMV.

 

[DrRoy]

We have been remodeling our house to have everything exactly to our preferences and plan to stay a very long time.

 

[jrcunniff]

My (internal) debate on Move vs Stay is focused more on having to rebuild my network of friends and professional services (doctors, etc.).

I had always dreamed of retiring to a vacation/beach home. But as I think about the reality of it, do I want to move hours away to a new home where I have to develop new friendships? Especially as a single guy with no wife/gf accompanying me.

I haven’t decided against it yet, but I’m realizing there are circumstances under which I would consider it or not. And I’ve started some conversations with friends/family about their retirement plans to see if anyone is targeting similar locations for their retirement.

Not sure I’m the right fit for a 55+ community (not to mention it will be a few years before I could qualify!), so I’ve never given that any serious thought.

 

[Nemo2]

.....55+ communities too and it was awful. The community center looked like an elder care facility with wheelchairs, walkers and oxygen bottles everywhere. Even people outside looked infirmed. Not for us.

20+ years ago, when we were fulltime RVing, my late wife & I checked out a park in 'the middle of nowhere Arizona' - "Night of the Living Dead"...no thanks.

DW & I, although cordially sociable, are not 'social joiners'..."Hi, how're you doing? See ya".

We like a wide spectrum/variety.....old people/kids/and in betweens...just like the (so called) 'real world'.

 

[JP.mpls]

Nemo,
I'm somewhat introverted, but I tend to socialize just fine once I mix with a group.
I can get a little anxious thinking about it beforehand.

I'm in a , new for me, townhome community in Florida. It is not a +55 community, but it is still mostly retired people.

I realized that I'm more concerned about meeting some couple in the neighborhood that wants to come over and visit way too often, than not meeting anyone. I have a cabin neighbor like this. She doesn't listen or pick up hints that we are busy, or have plans.

It will be interesting to see how it goes.

Everyone has been fairly friendly and nice so far, and most are older than us. No serious socializing.

We have been extremely busy trying to make the silly old townhome I purchased livable.

Take care, JP

20+ years ago, when we were fulltime RVing, my late wife & I checked out a park in 'the middle of nowhere Arizona' - "Night of the Living Dead"...no thanks.

DW & I, although cordially sociable, are not 'social joiners'..."Hi, how're you doing? See ya".

We like a wide spectrum/variety.....old people/kids/and in betweens...just like the (so called) 'real world'.

 

[blueskyk]

I keep looking like the grass is greener in my head.

I’m wondering what the greener grass might be for you?

You frame your discussion around housing choices (as a practical matter) but I get the impression you just may have itchy feet? Changing your place (whether to 55+ or not) changes your life because it changes who you encounter and possibly the activities and pursuits available to you. While its challenging, it can also reinvigorate.

I’m not yet a fan of 55+ communities so I’m just talking about moving from one place to another in general.

 

[Sunset]

Maybe they should rename those communities, from 55+ to 70+ so people won't be fooled

 

[FreeBear]

My (internal) debate on Move vs Stay is focused more on having to rebuild my network of friends and professional services (doctors, etc.).

I had always dreamed of retiring to a vacation/beach home. But as I think about the reality of it, do I want to move hours away to a new home where I have to develop new friendships? Especially as a single guy with no wife/gf accompanying me.


...

DW and I made the decisions to move to SE Arizona after living in Frozen Flyover for decades. I always dreamed of living "out West", so this was the best deal that we could afford. We love the mountains, the warm winters, and year-round outdoor opportunities.


Regarding friends, we realized that our closest friends, the ones we talk with weekly and visit regularly, are fairly new, only a few years old. Many of our older relationships have gradually waned as circumstances have evolved. Recently, a friend commented that we are outgoing enough to meet new friends anywhere. This realization, and the crappy northern winters (and springs and falls and a good part of the summer) made us realize it was time to chase our dream and head west.

It has been an enormous amount of w*rk. Long distance moving is an order of magnitude tougher that an in-town move. Still, it has given us a new lease on life. We're building new friendships while we enjoy our old ones by phone as if we were still there.

We carefully researched most amenities such as food and shopping, but professional services has been a pain. We are currently struggling with dentist, eye doctors, and chiropractors. There are plenty to choose from, but it's been hard to replace the stellar service we received in our old city. Hopefully, we'll do better once we have a larger social network. Still, no regrets about finally moving, something I wanted to do for decades, but was constrained by w*rk.

 

[FreeBear]

Maybe they should rename those communities, from 55+ to 70+ so people won't be fooled

Nuts! Now you tell me

I asked 80 yo buddy of mine if he checked out any 55+ communities before he bought "regular" condo in FL. He snapped: "Never! Too many old people!"

We now live in a SFH in an all-ages community down the road from a 55+. Once, while slowly biking down the street in the 55+ section, someone yelled that we were too energetic! Lots of folks with walkers, oxygen, or worse. Yikes! I think I need "age diversity".

Now I'm inclined to tough hang onto our SFH until it's time for assisted living or worse. Tried the condo/townhome thing too. Nope, never again.

Thanks all for the perspectives on 55+ communities.

 

[ERD50]

I don’t doubt it. The only communities we looked at were new Epcon neighborhoods and they had decidedly younger residents for the most part. But we had the foresight to look at some well established (20-30 years) 55+ communities too and it was awful. The community center looked like an elder care facility with wheelchairs, walkers and oxygen bottles everywhere. Even people outside looked infirmed. Not for us.

Thanks for that insight and your previous post. DW and I have been thinking about the 55+ communities, and didn't take this into account (only have looked at one under development).

This was the trend at my MIL/FILs assisted living place. Since it was a new development, it was mostly a "younger" group of old people, making the move from their homes, and most people were still active and in good shape. But add 10~15 years to that group, and a trip through the dining area gets pretty depressing, lots of people in not so great shape. Having that be your daily environment might not be so great. Though we appreciated all the support they got there.

-ERD50

 

[Koolau]

Got an update from our friends (early 70s) who recently moved to the over 55 community. Unfortunately, he fell during a tennis game and now has a blood clot on the brain which will probably need to be surgically removed. SHE has ben showered with help from her neighbors who treat her like family. I think I could live in a place like that though YMMV.