Too Frugal - Anybody Else Struggle Spending Too LITTLE?

[Lawrencewendall]

Any time I feel my wife is overspending, I remind myself divorce would be much more expensive.

+1000 Ain't that the truth!!

 

[Major Tom]

Spend money freely on what you value. Spend little on what you do not value. Formula for money happiness.

+1. A good way to put it.

 

[Dtail]

I posted a similar thread about this year’s ago.

I don’t know if I am just frugal, or just uninterested in a lot of things. I am 59 and could retire. But jut sure what I’d do all day. I don’t care about cars. I don’t like to travel. A lot of that has to do with I don’t sleep well outside the house. I feel like I have everything that I need, I really don’t want anything, and the wife and kids seem happy with what they have.

All that said, every calculator I run I will never run out of money. Yet, I am still frugal. So I feel like I should spend it.

Ugh.

Try to find a daily hobby.
For me, it is competitive Pickleball 6x weekly for 5 hours a day.

 

[Rocky mtn high]

Very hard to turn the switch from saving to spending. Eights later and still haven’t. Investment adviser even asking, now that you have all this money, what is your goal? He trying to get us to spend more too.

 

[RobbieB]

Spend money freely on what you value. Spend little on what you do not value. Formula for money happiness.

Yeah Baby! This -

 

[silvor]

Ha! For me it’s playing guitar. But I realized I can do what I want for under $500

 

[MRG]

The first 6 years we were frugal and the last two we're spending more. We both turn 65 next year and I'll eventually get my SS which covers most of our necessities and we aren't worried about ACA cliffs anymore. Last year we blew some dough and this year DW decided we needed a great vacation. She's blown the price of our first house on it[emoji4].

Our investable assets are up over 35% in 8 years and our house has doubled in value in 5. With no heirs I'm comfortable in our ability to blow some $ before SS starts.

 

[DrRoy]

This year we felt reckless spending about double the first year of RE. Much of that was on remodeling the house and travel. Even that was on 3% WR. Next year will be lower, even though we plan to replace our 4+ year old car. FIRETraveler, I suggest you read some of the Blow That Dough thread. My real splurge this year was to go hobnob with Apollo 16 Moonwalker Charlie Duke.
.

 

[Andre1969]

Yep, I'm guilty of this all the time. A bit on the cheap er I mean frugal side, and I'm also a bit of a hoarder. My problem is that I just can't bear to get rid of something that I feel might be of use later...either to myself or someone else.

A couple weeks ago, I took a pickup truck load of stuff to the dump, and there were a few items I was on the fence about. I had an old computer desk, a small shelving unit, and a section of kitchen cabinet. The kitchen cabinet was a holdover from my old condo, and dated back to around 1972-73. I had the place remodeled before putting it on the market in 2003, and to save a bit of money I pulled out the old cabinets myself. Whatever fell apart went to the dump, but some items that held their shape, I held onto, and I used this one piece in my garage, for countertop space and storage.

I also had a wardrobe, that was of sub-Ikea grade quality, that I initially thought about keeping. But, it made the decision for me, when I tried to move it, the back popped off and it started leaning to one side. I stood away from it and it collapsed.

One good thing about our landfill, is that the area where you dump stuff off, it's about a 15-20 foot drop into the dumpsters. So once you drop something down there, the decision is pretty much final...you're not going to just change your mind, and put it back on the truck! Plus, dropping something from that height often damages it, and if that doesn't, dropping the next item down on it sometimes does the trick!

It's amazing, how I can feel apprehensive, unsure, and start getting sentimental thoughts, as I'm loading the truck up, but once all that stuff has been jettisoned, and the truck bed is empty, damn that's a liberating feeling!

 

[Ronstar]

Being too frugal was easy when I was working 60 hours a week. I didn't have time to spend money. Now retired, I can surf Amazon and order stuff all day long.

 

[H2ODude]

I feel your pain, and a lot of sage advice here. We were managing to spend close to a safe amount, very safe, before covid with some nice travel. Travel has lost a lot of its luster for us, more hassle than the destination's worth. Hence the pension and SS more than enough for our needs, we're actually adding bucks to the portfolio.

We spend whatever we want on things/activities we want, but can't bring ourselves to spend just for the sake of ridding ourselves of spendable cash. I'd guess the spendable but unspent has approached six figures this year. We've upped our charitable and spending on kids/grandkids. Heck, I even buy the imported butter these days. But I shake my head when I do.

 

[marko]

I just did it. I winced at the end of the year when I found that I was blowing about 6% instead of the "safe" (nothing is ever safe) 4%.

Yup, I did it for 7 years straight. And at the end of the seven years I have 45% more dough than I started with.

+1 I mentioned a few months ago that I had discovered the following:

Sixteen years ago I RE'd with $X.

Over the next sixteen years I spent $X (the same amount of money as what I started with). Today I have $2X!

 

[Music Lover]

Ha! For me it’s playing guitar. But I realized I can do what I want for under $500

I used to have a $500 acoustic guitar and it did exactly what I needed it to do. But then I sold it and bought a $1700 guitar. It sounds better, is easier to play, and looks nicer.

The truth is that I didn't need a better guitar. I'm a bass player in my bands and rarely play guitar, it comes out when I'm on the couch or when people are sitting around a campfire. But I decided that if I'm only going to own one guitar then it may as well be a nice one even if it's only played a couple hours a month.

 

[H2ODude]

Robbie and Marko's posts reinforce something I've really noticed in the years I've retired. My go-to is the Fidelity calculator and to a lesser degree Firecalc. We all seem to get so focused on the worst case scenarios; for example Fido's "worst 10%" case. And by golly it hasn't happened in the 10 years I've been out free, except maybe in March of 2020. So we all so focus on the safety of these conservative assumptions. All appropriate IMO, but it also argues for a bit of optimistic harvesting now and then (if there's something meaningful to you you want to spend $$ on) if things have been diverging from worst case. I keep a printout of the Fido prediction every few years, it's really changed quite a bit. Yes, some of the positive is because we didn't take as much as they said we could, but there's a lot more in the pot from growth that was NOT the worst case of the worst 10% of market performance. So we can all make adjustments if need be, up.

 

[John Galt III]

Still very frugal, even though I don't need to be. A few years ago, I allowed myself to spend 'big money' on craft beer at $25 a case. But now the same stuff is $39 a case, and I can't (won't) do that. I do allow myself to buy lots of craft beer on sale, however. I am comfortable spending 'big bucks' as in flying somewhere for vacation, but it has to be a good discount deal, for me to be happy spending it.

 

[COcheesehead]

I looked at what I really enjoyed. I mean really enjoyed. That was cycling.
We now have five bikes, four of which are mine. Road, mountain, single speed and gravel. They all get ridden and enjoyed. I don’t have any problem spending money on them or accessories for them. It’s an example of spending freely on what you value and not spending on what you don’t.

 

[razztazz]

Yes. While I want for nothing I still catch myself trying to convince myself to do without something I want but can easily afford, or settling for some second or third best option.

 

[pb4uski]

We suffer from the same disease to a different extent. In the normal course, we spend about 1/2 of what FIRECalc says we could safely spend.

At the same time, we don't mind spending for good values or for small life experiences, and less so for "stuff".

An example is that DW and I both enjoy golf and golf frequently. Our clubs are about 10 years old and we really should spend a few grand and get ourselves newer clubs given how frequently we golf but we have a hard time pulling the trigger. After all, our current clubs "work fine" and it's not the arrows but it's the indian.

 

[Sue J]

I am a natural saver and have always been frugal. Since DH retired 11 years ago I have progressed from watching every penny to learning to ease up on the frugality.

After 11 years of COLA increases, both of us now on Medicare and starting my SS benefit a few years ago we are now spending only 65%-70% of our monthly income. If given the chance DH would spend the rest of that on stuff from thrift stores or ebay and honestly, he just doesn't have room for any more stuff.

He has no clue as to how much extra there is every month. He doesn't want to pay attention. So it's up to me and I SAVE IT. Yeah, we may have plenty now but I know life could get very expensive as we get older. Rainy Day and all that.

I am learning to ease up on the frugal side of me. We have upped our generosity to local charities and also to our kids and grandkids. I recently suggested to DH that next year we double the birthday and anniversary gifts. We have plenty (for now) and I'd like to share while we can.

A few years ago I had a laugh at myself about my frugality. DH discovered LaCroix https://www.lacroixwater.com/ It's canned carbonated water with flavorings and no sugar. They taste like nothing but carbonated water to me so I don't drink them. DH and our older son love these and they try all the flavors and other brands and really enjoy them. When he comes by on the weekend they go through a 12 pack in an evening.

I knew I had eased up on my frugal nature when I didn't freak out over how much DH spends on "canned water." We have the money to spend and they enjoy them.

 

[brett]

We are not spending what we could.

Mostly it has nothing to do with being frugal. We simply do not have the desire to buy items.

Last time I went into an Acura dealership with a view to buying I walked out with no purchase. Vehicle was very nice, new car smell etc. It was just that there was not thrill or excitement on my part. I expected that there would be be nada. Happily drove home in my 16 year old car.

Now, I do not even want to in a store, let alone a shopping mall.

I get far more pleasure out of going to the airport and board a plane for an extended trip to Europe in the fall or a snowbird trip to SE Asia and/or Australia than I do to any other type of purchase.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

FIRECalc says I can spend twice what I'm spending, even if I live to age 117. But seriously, why should this be a reason to struggle? I am at peace and happy. That's the whole point of having an adequately funded retirement, I thought.

I buy what I really want or need, and then I stop - - enough is enough.

Who knows, unexpected end of life expenses may use up every last cent. If not, my heirs deserve anything I can leave to them.

On a scale of 0-10 for life's problems, I'd say this was a solid 0.00000000001 (least problematic).

+1. We're pretty content with our life as it is so no need to spend more unnecessarily. We already live in a neighborhood with seven figure homes, and it is kind of a hoot to have optimized all our expenses enough so that we can live here, not have to work and attend a lot of plays, concerts and winery events on a 0% withdrawal rate. We have adult kids and, even though they live in lower cost of living parts of the state, home prices are still pretty expensive by national standards, so between possible future LTC for us, helping the kids buy houses and maybe retire early, too, that pretty easily solves the issue of what to do with extra money in our investment portfolio.

We have started spending a bit more on the kids now for gifts, activities when they visit and subsidizing air fare for visits home in part to start the wealth transfer process.

 

[marko]

Robbie and Marko's posts reinforce something I've really noticed in the years I've retired. My go-to is the Fidelity calculator and to a lesser degree Firecalc. We all seem to get so focused on the worst case scenarios; for example Fido's "worst 10%" case. .

And let's not forget that 'time marches on'. When I RE'd my 'life horizon' (age 90) was 37 years; now it's 20.

While the money pile grows, the time to do something useful/fun with it shrinks. By the time I'm 80--in ten years-- I doubt I'll want to do the fun/active (expensive) things that I'm doing now, which will only compound the 'problem'.

I think instead of 'life expectancy' people should consider how much 'fun time' they'll have to spend. My mom is 92, in great health and sharp as a tack (still drives!) but she couldn't spend $20K a year if her life depended on it. She now just likes to sit around, read a book, watch TV and take a nap. The most she does is go out to dinner and get her hair done.

 

[kcowan]

We managed the money pretty closely for 5 years post-RE. Then we bought a snowbird property to save money. Now we have been forced to reduce spending on travel.

We expect the inflation and the return to our annual European trip will bring back a balance. We moved beyond frugal in 2019.

 

[homestead]

+1 I mentioned a few months ago that I had discovered the following:

Sixteen years ago I RE'd with $X.

Over the next sixteen years I spent $X (the same amount of money as what I started with). Today I have $2X!

Congrats on having more than you started with!
Did you factor in inflation? Inflation has been 42% in 16 years.

 

[pacergal]

As many have said, frugality is what gets most of us to early retirement.
To me, there is a difference between frugal and cheap.
Frugal is respecting your money, getting the best/most for your money, shopping wisely, etc
Cheap is when someone may be harmed (ie avoiding medical/dental care due to cost even if you have the money), expecting someone else to always pick up the tab. Often more of an emotional issue than financial.

DH and I have been frugal all of our lives. At this point, our pensions and SS cover our bills and then some. I still clip coupons for food I would normally get anyway, but not "just to buy something on sale". We have upped our travel (when we do!) to more first class flights and high end hotels, we gift more to our kids and charity.
We are very blessed.

OP--think of some small steps at first--eat out or take out from nicer restaurants, tip more, give more to charity, stay at more expensive hotels when you travel.
Loosen the purse strings a bit, and notice how you feel about it.
Blow the Dough a few times!