Help with aging parent

[TrophyWife]

Seniors need more protein because they don't process protein well but most seniors and assisted living situations are heavy on the carbs for cost savings. I would make sure he's getting enough meat. https://khn.org/news/why-older-adults-should-eat-more-protein-and-not-overdo-protein-shakes/

I would also look into Intermittent Fasting for him. Eating in an 8 hour window-fasting for 16 hours

 

[NW-Bound]

My late FIL went downhill fast from his late 80s to his 90s. Just a few years earlier, people complimented him on how well he was, and said they wished to be like him at that age. In just a few years, he got weak, and started to fall and break his bones. That led to a steady decline, and in the end his muscles and joints deteriorated to the point he could not lift either hand up to his face to scratch his nose. Of course, he had to leave home and entered a nursing home long before that point.

Doctors could not do anything for him. Blood tests showed his internal organs were functioning, and he was just basically waiting to die. He eventually died of a pneumonia that came from a cold. He was ready to go long before that.


PS. Most people do not last long in my FIL's state. In fact, he outlived many of his roommates at the nursing home, who were all much younger. It was because my wife and her siblings took turn to come in to spoonfeed him every evening. People in there rarely got visitation from spouses or children.

PPS. Both my late father and father-in-law stayed coherent to the end and did not suffer from dementia. I think being trapped inside a disabled body with a clear mind made it harder for the patients, but easier for the care takers.

 

[garyt]

Do you have some 5-year-old blood work reports to compare? Look at the numbers for oxygen transport -- red blood cells, hematocrit, etc. Anything worse than before?

His Dr. would have these but I have no idea if he's compared them. I doubt it though. No one's too happy with his Dr. He doesn't seem too interested in looking into things. His diagnosis, he's old.
Hopefully the gerontologist will try a little harder. If it is just the beginning of the end we can deal with that. He's had 95 good, healthy years and he's not in any pain, so how can you argue?

 

[garyt]

I think living alone and not having enough mental stimulation may be part of the problem.

It could be, but when he gets a chance to go out he doesn't have the energy. He used to go out 6 nights a week. Throw in holidays and family functions and he was pretty much never home for a full day. He says he wants to go, but just doesn't have the "pep" (his word) to do it.
He did go to bingo with my sister last week and was happy and surprised at the fuss they made when he showed up for the first time in weeks. But now he's too tired to go again.

 

[garyt]

Seniors need more protein because they don't process protein well but most seniors and assisted living situations are heavy on the carbs for cost savings. I would make sure he's getting enough meat. https://khn.org/news/why-older-adults-should-eat-more-protein-and-not-overdo-protein-shakes/

I would also look into Intermittent Fasting for him. Eating in an 8 hour window-fasting for 16 hours

Good point. Since he sleeps so much he's not eating much, one meal. He is a meat and potatoes guy so when he does eat it's usually pretty protein rich.

 

[garyt]

Pretty good guns for a 94 year old

 

[Amethyst]

Holy cr@p, arm could pass for 60. Was he working out before the excessive fatigue hit?

Pretty good guns for a 94 year old

 

[garyt]

Holy cr@p, arm could pass for 60. Was he working out before the excessive fatigue hit?

Not anymore. He was in construction most of his life. Lots of heavy lifting even after he became a foreman in his later years. Just genetic luck that he hasn't lost a lot of muscle mass over the years I guess.
We did take him to the ER a couple years ago with chest pains. Found out it was a pulled muscle from doing pushups, lol.

 

[ivinsfan]

What about a sleep study, perhaps he needs a CPAP machine...

 

[CrazyHamsterLady]

My Dad is 95. He's been in pretty good shape all this time. Lately he's been extremely fatigued. Now, I don't know what 95 feels like and I'm sure most 90+ year olds sleep a lot but he can sleep 14 hours, get up and still be exhausted. He's lost his will to get up and do things. He used to go out 6 days a week and now maybe gets out twice and falls asleep on the car ride home.
His blood work comes back fine, his Dr. says he is by the numbers the healthiest patient in his practice, Blood pressure is 120/70, cholesterol well below 200, sugar is good,etc. Took him to see a vascular guy as he's been complaining of heavy legs. Ultra sound shows good circulation in the arms and legs. He has a bad knee so doesn't walk much anymore so Dr. says it could be a use it or lose it thing.
I have no idea where to go next. What should we try? I have to ask about his testosterone level but I assume they test for this when they did the blood tests.He is also a good size guy who still carries some good muscle so I doubt that's it.
I've even considered depression as he lives alone and maybe that's getting to him? But I would think he'd jump at the chance to get out and yet doesn't seem to have the energy most times.Now that I'm retired I stop over 3 times a day to visit but he's usually sleeping. Anyway just venting and looking for any ideas. Where would you turn next? A gerontologist?

Cardiologist? My dad is 95, on dialysis for 5-some-odd years, and has other issues. His cardio is hooking him up to portable 3-day EKG monitor. Cardio says with age, electrical signal weakens, sometime too weak to tell heart "beat!" No danger, cardio said, but could (partially) account for fatigue. Pacemaker could remedy. Your mileage may vary, of course. Thought I'd share since sounds similar.

 

[robnplunder]

Pretty good guns for a 94 year old

Did you mean to say 49? That's awesome. I am 57 and have been working out with weights. Even so, I don't look like that.

 

[garyt]

Cardiologist? My dad is 95, on dialysis for 5-some-odd years, and has other issues. His cardio is hooking him up to portable 3-day EKG monitor. Cardio says with age, electrical signal weakens, sometime too weak to tell heart "beat!" No danger, cardio said, but could (partially) account for fatigue. Pacemaker could remedy. Your mileage may vary, of course. Thought I'd share since sounds similar.

He had an EKG and that seemed fine according to the Dr.

 

[garyt]

Did you mean to say 49? That's awesome. I am 57 and have been working out with weights. Even so, I don't look like that.

It is pretty remarkable,lucky genetically I guess.

 

[garyt]

Thanks for all the responses. I brought them all up to his Dr. For an update, I took him to a gerontologist who couldn't find anything wrong. His opinion was that when he first got the cough and whatever else it was, it knocked him down so far it's taken this long to get better.
He is better. He's getting out a little more and doesn't sleep nearly as much. He still sleeps a lot but probably no more than what I think a 95 year old would sleep. Certainly not 18 hours a day. Now any excess sleep is due to boredom and not extreme fatigue.
I tend to think it was something like one person posted, Epstein Barr Virus or something like that. He acted and felt exactly like I did when I had mono. A month later and he's making it back to a new (little slower) normal.
Again thanks for all the replies.

 

[Buckeye]

He will never have a dull moment if he moves to an Assisted Living facility. The ladies will outnumber him 10 to 1 and they will keep him engaged. Of course, there are usually lots of activities but he will never want for conversation or attention.

 

[ivinsfan]

You are a good child to follow through and make sure nothing major was wrong..it's a hard truth that the older we get the harder it is to get back to "normal" after a medical event.

Glad your DF is doing better....