First of all, I would ask, Why didn't she purchase permanent (as opposed to temporary) insurance while she was healthy? After all, it is insurance. We aren't allowed to buy home owner's insurance while our house is burning down, either. It's never a good idea to stay on temporary insurance (including COBRA) for very long, especially if you are healthy when you buy it. It should be used only as a vehicle to get by while in underwriting for more permanent coverage or to use while in a waiting period at a new job. Had she bought permanent insurance before she got sick, it may have been affordable in her income category. I'm sure that most people who are going to incur hundreds of thousands in medical expenses would LOVE to buy insurance rob insurance companies for a fraction of the cost of their risk on a guaranteed basis after they get sick, but honestly, if we allowed everyone that opportunity, then there would be no such thing as insurance.
This is a very sad situation and a testament to the fact that employer-sponsored health inusurance is no longer a good idea. It worked in the early days, when employers were forced by the government to limit salaries and their only means to attract good employees were through employee health benefit programs, but today, we need to get away from employer sponsored coverage.
It's too bad she doesn't live in the State of Colorado where she could get guaranteed issue on a "group of one" or "self-employed" policy with a $3000 deductible plan at a very competitive price. (Approx $300/mo). The problem is that in some states, too much government regulation has all but driven most insurance carriers out of the small group market preventing carriers from being profitable with "group of one" insurance in those states. ...and some states don't even allow "group of one" insurance. Maybe she should move to Colorado. For now, we have fewer mandates in Colorado resulting in a better health insurance market than many other states.