anothercog
Recycles dryer sheets
I'm not a huge cruiser but love the idea of repositioning cruises as a luxuruious mode of transportation to get from one great destination to another.
Spouse not wanting to travel?
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I'm not a huge cruiser but love the idea of repositioning cruises as a luxuruious mode of transportation to get from one great destination to another.
Chuckanut
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
I found that sometimes a bit of compromise helps. For example, one spouse goes to the British War Museum on Wednesday while the other goes to the Tea Time Fashion museum. At the end of the day meet for dinner at the local Pub and share adventures.
Nemo2
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How did your wife enjoy the war museum?
Music Lover
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Those are compromises most people can deal with. The problem is when one partner doesn't even want to go in the first place or has a vastly different timeline...say 2-3 weeks vs 2-3 months.
We do that all the time. We also occasionally take separate trips to pursue our own interests. Most travel destinations offer such a wide variety of attractions that it's very easy to do it that way.
Good example: About four years ago, we got an amazing short notice deal from Delta on a trip to Zurich. Paid for it entirely with FF miles. Spent a week there, and three days we were on our own, four days together. We each got to see and do what appealed to us, and equally enjoyed our joint days.
Gadabout
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During our working years, DH and I never had more than 2 weeks off at a time. We both loved to travel but wondered if we would realistically like longer trips. A week after I joined him in retirement, we took off for a month in Italy. On the plane home we asked each other if they could have stayed longer. Both of us gave an enthusiastic yes and so we embarked on a pretty steady diet of travel - long and short trips - until Covid clipped our wings. Now we are really grateful that we had three awesome years of that lifestyle and had not delayed retirement. Now we are making the most of it at home until the way opens again. I was usually the instigator/planner, but DH always loved the trips and developed an appetite to think ahead too. Maybe your wife will get into it. Right now I wouldn't push it because the places we want to go really don't exist right now with all of the (essential) restrictions, or if they do, they are impossible to get to.
DW loves traveling even more than I do. I was looking forward to lots of trips once we retired.
Unfortunately 10 yrs ago she became ex-DW. And I really don't enjoy traveling by myself. I want someone to share the adventure with, and I would strongly prefer a partner rather than "just" a travel buddy. No luck on that front though. I've taken a couple of trips with small groups, and I'll do more of that as I get more into retirement. (Currently 64 and still working part-time.)
Maybe we need a "travel buddy matchmaking service."
Unfortunately 10 yrs ago she became ex-DW. And I really don't enjoy traveling by myself. I want someone to share the adventure with, and I would strongly prefer a partner rather than "just" a travel buddy. No luck on that front though. I've taken a couple of trips with small groups, and I'll do more of that as I get more into retirement. (Currently 64 and still working part-time.)
Maybe we need a "travel buddy matchmaking service."
Came to Costa Rica September 2019 to spend 6 to 9 months and really explore. Had sold our house and planned to travel for several years. Obviously covid changed the plans.
Were going to rent a place for 3-6 months in different locations around the world and explore the regions from a base that we could come back to and decompress. This was our compromise, I was perfectly happy to take a passport and credit card to the airport and wing it from there.
We had done several three week long trips while still working and always wanted to be able to immerse ourselves in different cultures but she said she refused to live the gypsy lifestyle.
Were going to rent a place for 3-6 months in different locations around the world and explore the regions from a base that we could come back to and decompress. This was our compromise, I was perfectly happy to take a passport and credit card to the airport and wing it from there.
We had done several three week long trips while still working and always wanted to be able to immerse ourselves in different cultures but she said she refused to live the gypsy lifestyle.
Rambler
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If you can convince her to do it early on in retirement, that would be a good thing. I retired at the end of 2012, and we did travel a good bit, maybe 90-100 days a year the first 3 years. In the fourth year, DW got sick right as our travels were kicking off for the season, and we had to cancel almost everything we had planned. She stabilized and is on meds to control her condition and is now doing well. The year after that, my doc called me on THE MORNING that we had planned to leave for a two week RV trip, and told me it was likely that I had cancer. He suggested we cancel the trip and see a specialist right away. That was at the beginning of June. Between that and having to schedule numerous appointments for tests and staging, we canceled all our plans, and I eventually had my surgery across the continent in NYC at the hands of a very skilled surgeon, for which I’m grateful...that was our only travel that year. The following year, we decided to leave California for a state more to our liking. My aging parents did too. In the process of the move, mom broke her leg, her arm, her wrist, and her face was black and blue, although no skull or facial fractures. The problem was, this happened just as their moving van was leaving. They ended up having to stay in our home for weeks while she recovered, needed daily help just to take care of herself. So we couldn’t sell the house, and couldn’t travel. We finally got the house on the market in early 2019, and it contracted, and subsequently fell out of escrow five times...each time we had to cancel our trip, thinking we’d need to get the remainder of our belongings out (we left it staged with some minimal furniture). It took until deep autumn before it finally sold. Then of course, Covid hit. The places we intended to visit early on were closed. Once they re-opened, with massive restrictions, reservations were hard to get, and we stayed put. We have a variety of plans for this year, but yesterday one of my follow up tests came back with a less than desirable figure, and I’ll have to have more tests to make sure that the cancer hasn’t returned.
The moral of the story is: travel while you can! Eventually, you may not be able to!
The moral of the story is: travel while you can! Eventually, you may not be able to!
anothercog
Recycles dryer sheets
Exactly. We are still relatively young and we still had two last minute cancellations of long planned trips. First due to DW having a kidney infection due to stones and then when that trip was rescheduled she was diagnosed with breast cancer a week before we supposed to leave. All is good now and we had a ton of great trips planned for 2020 but Covid saw to those. I am hoping we'll have a few healthy, problem free years in early retirement which is still several years away.
I wish you the best with your test results and health!
I wanna be a hobo
Hmm... all good posts. As many, my DW is a nester. Me I feel like George Bailey from “It’s a wonderful life,”. We had planned to go to Morocco last October, but COVID felt otherwise. I’m thinking Domestic trips in the near future with short visits/whatever with friends or family as a booster shot of familiarity. As for a bigger event, maybe an extended family vacation event that me and DW would finance? Any thoughts on an age appropriate setting, but fulfilling, for ages 2.5 to healthy 68 y.o.?
Hmm... all good posts. As many, my DW is a nester. Me I feel like George Bailey from “It’s a wonderful life,”. We had planned to go to Morocco last October, but COVID felt otherwise. I’m thinking Domestic trips in the near future with short visits/whatever with friends or family as a booster shot of familiarity. As for a bigger event, maybe an extended family vacation event that me and DW would finance? Any thoughts on an age appropriate setting, but fulfilling, for ages 2.5 to healthy 68 y.o.?
We aren't on the same page with travel, my DH is happy being home or doing local New England travel or going to Florida (but won't do again until after Covid). We hope to be snow birds and then I will travel with friends other times of year. I have friends that don't have travel companions and we travel well together. DH is fine with that and we have a dog so that is always a concern.
My 20 something single children love to travel as well and we went to Africa and Europe 2 years ago which was amazing (I had never left the country before that).
It does make me feel better that others have spouses that don't love to travel too!
My 20 something single children love to travel as well and we went to Africa and Europe 2 years ago which was amazing (I had never left the country before that).
It does make me feel better that others have spouses that don't love to travel too!
Trip to Africa.
To be a Barbh29, sounds great. I will be 62 years old next month and I’ve always wanted to take an REI guided trip to Kilimanjaro. My sense is it may be a little too rigorous for me. The last day of the climb is 13 hours of hiking and I imagine reaching the summit it is pretty steep. Generally, and natural experiences, but like an above average quality of lodging and dining. Any tips or references would be appreciated.
To be a Barbh29, sounds great. I will be 62 years old next month and I’ve always wanted to take an REI guided trip to Kilimanjaro. My sense is it may be a little too rigorous for me. The last day of the climb is 13 hours of hiking and I imagine reaching the summit it is pretty steep. Generally, and natural experiences, but like an above average quality of lodging and dining. Any tips or references would be appreciated.
foxfirev5
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At age 65 DW and I have decided it's now or never. She just got her second vaccine. The time is now. Sorry.
anothercog
Recycles dryer sheets
Your username caught my eye, my son’s name Jakob.
For a fun extended family trip, I strongly recommend Japan if everyone is able bodied. If you’re looking for domestic how about a dude ranch in Wyoming? An Alaska cruise worked great for one of our extended family trips.
And I really don't enjoy traveling by myself. I want someone to share the adventure with, and I would strongly prefer a partner rather than "just" a travel buddy. No luck on that front though. I've taken a couple of trips with small groups, and I'll do more of that as I get more into retirement. (Currently 64 and still working part-time.)
Maybe we need a "travel buddy matchmaking service."
+1
omni
Thanks, good recommendations. I have some colleagues who live in China I also wanted to visit there. Have you ever been. Keep the ideas flowing.
jollystomper
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DW and I wholeheartedly agree with this. We like to be together when traveling, but our interests diverge so we will plan for "split days" as in your example. Of course, DW knows that if she dresses in a cute outfit, I'll likely follow her anywhere
. Then again, I'm the one she "caught" being chatted up by a pretty but buzzed woman, so DW "accuses" me saying "Now I know why you want to split up sometimes...
"Neither one of us is the one who consistently does not want to travel. When I first retired I had just been on several business trips in the preceding 2 months, including one that ended just a few days before I retired, so I wanted a break. But she was eager to travel visit family so we took international trips in July and August, so I never felt I was truly retired until September. Since then we have been more in sync. I'm ready to travel again now - even just a drive-to destination - but DW is still very cautious about the pandemic situation.
We do what we must.
Jollystomper, I think it is wise that your wife be reluctant to travel during Covid times. The two of you may be careful, but others may not. Once Americans are vaccinated at the 60% population rate, I think it will be fairly safe to travel. Specially as the two of you are vaccinated with both doses. I work in, and I have already received my first vaccination, however DW has not received either of her vaccinations. We are both in very good health, save a blip on the radar for me last year which turned out to be a lifesaver. Our oldest daughter lives in Texas and has our year and a half old grandson. Our first grandchild. I’m sure my wife is very anxious to visit. I plan on using this to coerce my wife into a trip to the south west.
Jollystomper, I think it is wise that your wife be reluctant to travel during Covid times. The two of you may be careful, but others may not. Once Americans are vaccinated at the 60% population rate, I think it will be fairly safe to travel. Specially as the two of you are vaccinated with both doses. I work in, and I have already received my first vaccination, however DW has not received either of her vaccinations. We are both in very good health, save a blip on the radar for me last year which turned out to be a lifesaver. Our oldest daughter lives in Texas and has our year and a half old grandson. Our first grandchild. I’m sure my wife is very anxious to visit. I plan on using this to coerce my wife into a trip to the south west.
brett
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We too are reluctant to travel. Our Government has advised us not to travel and specifically not to cruise. So we have stayed home.
The last thing we want to pick when traveling is covid. We are typically in Thailand and sometimes Australia at this time of year. We miss it very much. Bottom line for us is the countries we typically go to both last fall and this winter are closed to travelers.
We came home early at the end of March last year and have stayed put since then. Will be glad when it is, for the most part, all over. I suspect that the next few months will be critical. The health authorities are privately very concerned about the the new strains of covid-especially their substantially increased transfer rates.
The last thing we want to pick when traveling is covid. We are typically in Thailand and sometimes Australia at this time of year. We miss it very much. Bottom line for us is the countries we typically go to both last fall and this winter are closed to travelers.
We came home early at the end of March last year and have stayed put since then. Will be glad when it is, for the most part, all over. I suspect that the next few months will be critical. The health authorities are privately very concerned about the the new strains of covid-especially their substantially increased transfer rates.
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nuestart
Confused about dryer sheets
What do you do with your car?
I can't speak for Kilimanjaro (except its beautiful to see from a plane) however if you are interested in Safari and lodging I highly recommend TAASA Lodge. I became friends with the owners (family run from Minnesota) and they are well run. I'm sure they can give you information on the hiking and other things like the Crater etc. I had no interest in going on a safari but it was wonderful! Happy to give you more info or contact information!
Kroeran
Full time employment: Posting here.
For the homebody female scenario and bored male I would suggest buying a vacation home in an area with a lot of day or short-hop tripping with easy flight connections home.
1) she will enjoy the process of setting up a home with her taste and then having a second nest that provides the emotional feedback her home provides. Choose a beachy or resorty place or otherwise that will attract her social/family pod with comfortable number of bedrooms.
2) good flight connections for her friends and maybe free flights for kids will further make her comfortable. You or her can pop back home for special holidays and family events.
3) being near an international airport like Miami or Orlando makes short hops to the Americas or islands possible or longer hops to Europe. Every snowbird community has a cruising crowd.
4) you may need to recalibrate your learned way of getting out of boredom when not working. In a snowbird community, you have an unlimited opportunity to network with guys in the same boat.
Couple cliques and boy and girl gang groups form to generate amusements. It is natural for a wife to have a time limit on only having DH to talk to day after day when away from home.
5) DW needs to elevate her attention on keeping DH from boredom and depression, which dials down the immune system and sets the stage for terminal illness and early widowhood.
6) this lifestyle requires either petlessness, a pet small enough to fly, or be prepared to drive the animals back and forth. To dog or not to dog is the question.
7) boil the lobster gradually. Spot a city south with a direct flight and make short trips. Try to get her interested in decorating a second home. First a week, then a month, and so on. Owning ties you long enough to establish relationships. People texting asking when will you be available for whatever.
8) after a decade you may wish to try a different area, but I think the comforts of a second home, knowing your neighbours, having friends to hang with, becomes more important than exploration.
1) she will enjoy the process of setting up a home with her taste and then having a second nest that provides the emotional feedback her home provides. Choose a beachy or resorty place or otherwise that will attract her social/family pod with comfortable number of bedrooms.
2) good flight connections for her friends and maybe free flights for kids will further make her comfortable. You or her can pop back home for special holidays and family events.
3) being near an international airport like Miami or Orlando makes short hops to the Americas or islands possible or longer hops to Europe. Every snowbird community has a cruising crowd.
4) you may need to recalibrate your learned way of getting out of boredom when not working. In a snowbird community, you have an unlimited opportunity to network with guys in the same boat.
Couple cliques and boy and girl gang groups form to generate amusements. It is natural for a wife to have a time limit on only having DH to talk to day after day when away from home.
5) DW needs to elevate her attention on keeping DH from boredom and depression, which dials down the immune system and sets the stage for terminal illness and early widowhood.
6) this lifestyle requires either petlessness, a pet small enough to fly, or be prepared to drive the animals back and forth. To dog or not to dog is the question.
7) boil the lobster gradually. Spot a city south with a direct flight and make short trips. Try to get her interested in decorating a second home. First a week, then a month, and so on. Owning ties you long enough to establish relationships. People texting asking when will you be available for whatever.
8) after a decade you may wish to try a different area, but I think the comforts of a second home, knowing your neighbours, having friends to hang with, becomes more important than exploration.
Rocket Man
Recycles dryer sheets
Thanks Kroeran! I thank that is great advice! My DW likes her own nest and only tolerates rentals and hotel rooms for so long!
