At Odds With Spouse/Covid Social Distancing

[RHONDAVE]

I am 67 and vaccinated.
She is 60 and vaccinated.
We have not been sick with Covid.
Now she wants to lower our guard only with "her family".
I want to stay safe and she has no regard for that.
Anybody Else?

 

[Sniggle]

If you are both vaccinated, maybe it is time to live your best life while you still have it?

 

[CardsFan]

If you are both vaccinated, maybe it is time to live your best life while you still have it?

+1.

We are both 66. Fully vaccinated (Pfizer). We are now living close to normal.

 

[Rambler]

We are both 59 and vaccinated. We hunkered down for a long time, saw family and did Thanksgiving and Christmas in the open air of the back yard only. Now that we are vaccinated, and my 85 year old parents are vaccinated, we pretty much live our lives as normal. Clearly, if we know someone is ill, we stay away, but otherwise, we are comfortable living our lives.

 

[REWahoo]

If you are both vaccinated, maybe it is time to live your best life while you still have it?

^ This.

 

[braumeister]

How will you know when it's safe to lower your guard?

For most people, it's being fully vaccinated. Sounds like you have your own criteria. Unless you share them, we can't evaluate them.

 

[Aerides]

Throughout the pre-vaccine stage, I've always thought it must be challenging for couples with very different risk tolerances, and that the more cautious partner should lead the way.

So OP it sounds like you are more risk-averse now than your wife? You say you want to stay safe, but isn't the vaccine doing that for you? I also think it's perhaps a little unfair to say she has no regard... I know if DH wanted to stay with our pre-vaccine caution measures I'd be getting really frustrated.

 

[RetireeRobert]

I am 67 and vaccinated.
She is 60 and vaccinated.
We have not been sick with Covid.
Now she wants to lower our guard only with "her family".
I want to stay safe and she has no regard for that.
Anybody Else?

What did you all think the vaccine was going to do for you, or not do for you?

You are both vaccinated, I agree with the others, live your lives. Leave the fear behind.

 

[Bamaman]

We're in Vegas, and masks are almost a thing of the past except for employees.

We too are vaccinated.

Things back home are wide open, and the sick are minimal.

 

[njhowie]

Has her family been vaccinated? I would be most concerned with that.

If they have been, then I don't believe you should worry about it.

Notwithstanding, I can appreciate your hesitancy. Nothing wrong with being cautious until you feel comfortable with the situation.

 

[EastWest Gal]

Live your lives. Figure out the emotional aspects of your fear, and look at the logic of leaving it behind.

I still wear a mask among strangers, and to protect those with various immune disorders, who cannot tell the rest of us about it.

Vaccination protects you, and prevents you from transmitting virus. Remember that your mask is to protect others and their masks are to protect you. And masks work 100% against the flu, not Covid. They help with Covid.

It sounds like you are more fearful than her, but she is still fearful. It's ok. Give yourselves some time.

 

[Amethyst]

I take it neither of you has some auto-immune or other condition that could make the vaccine less effective?

If you're all good re: vaccine, why keep hunkering down? You are not kids. When do you start living again?

 

[Texas Proud]

Heck, during the pandemic my wife and daughter would regularly go out and do stuff that I thought was a risk... no amount of me complaining or yelling changed what they did...


Bottom line.... you cannot control what others do...


We are now all vaccinated and we are carrying on life as we did pre-pandemic...

 

[Car-Guy]

If you are both vaccinated, maybe it is time to live your best life while you still have it?

+1, from my POV, it's way past time to get back to life.... But that's me.

 

[audreyh1]

I am 67 and vaccinated.
She is 60 and vaccinated.
We have not been sick with Covid.
Now she wants to lower our guard only with "her family".
I want to stay safe and she has no regard for that.
Anybody Else?

If her family is vaccinated it’s very very safe.

 

[jollystomper]

If you are both vaccinated, maybe it is time to live your best life while you still have it?

+1

My DW was much more concerned about things pre-vaccination that I was, but once we were both fully vaccinated (we are both 63) she did not see a reason not to start moving towards normal in our social life.

 

[Calico]

I am 67 and vaccinated.
She is 60 and vaccinated.
We have not been sick with Covid.
Now she wants to lower our guard only with "her family".
I want to stay safe and she has no regard for that.
Anybody Else?

Is her family vaccinated?

If not, I can understand your hesitancy to be around them.

 

[stephenson]

Depends.

Is her family non vaxxers?

 

[RobbieB]

Good question. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with anti vaxxers either.

And not because I was worried about covid.

 

[ivinsfan]

OP can you add a few more details? For example to what degree do you want to "stay safe"...there must be more to it then you have told us.

 

[ivinsfan]

Is her family vaccinated?

If not, I can understand your hesitancy to be around them.

Well we've been talking about this here for months now. If I'm fully vaccinated and don't have auto immune or issues like that another persons vaccinated status isn't that big of a deal. It's not like I'm sleeping with anyone except my vaccinated spouse.

 

[rodi]

I don't have advice for you - just a description of what we are doing.

We wear masks when in public, indoors. (Stores, restaurants till at the table, etc.)
I wear a mask when I'm around people I know aren't vaxxed... Like kids. This is for their protection. Wherever I go - inside or out - I have a mask with me if it's not on my face.

If I meet/see someone who's not vaxxed, for whatever reason, we meet outside rather than inside.

Fortunately, most of my social network is fully vaxxed. One friend is not because she has a terrible phobia of needles - hubby is planning on visiting her soon - but for an outdoor meal and visit. (the rest of her family is vaxxed.)

It is weird to be relaxing our guard... I find myself second guessing whether I should be mask free... but I'm getting used to it.

 

[ivinsfan]

If her family is vaccinated it’s very very safe.

Even if they aren't vaccinated unless the OP is somehow compromised such as getting chemo or has meds that don't play nice with the Covid vaccine, it's not unsafe to be around others...even the non vaccinated others.

 

[ivinsfan]

I don't have advice for you - just a description of what we are doing.

We wear masks when in public, indoors. (Stores, restaurants till at the table, etc.)
I wear a mask when I'm around people I know aren't vaxxed... Like kids. This is for their protection. Wherever I go - inside or out - I have a mask with me if it's not on my face.

If I meet/see someone who's not vaxxed, for whatever reason, we meet outside rather than inside.

Fortunately, most of my social network is fully vaxxed. One friend is not because she has a terrible phobia of needles - hubby is planning on visiting her soon - but for an outdoor meal and visit. (the rest of her family is vaxxed.)

It is weird to be relaxing our guard... I find myself second guessing whether I should be mask free... but I'm getting used to it.

All evidence indicts it is absolutely not necessary to wear a mask for the protection of others when you are fully vaccinated. I do carry a mask,but haven't worn it since our masks rules were relaxed.


But it took me a good 45 days past full vaccination to get comfortable with it.



How do think it will feel when you do take off the mask and relax your visiting rules?

 

[rodi]

Mask rules are NOT fully dropped here. I'm in California. Our county just moved to yellow. In theory the mask mandates might be relaxed next week, statewide... but not in workplaces unless everyone is vaccinated.

I've read differing things on whether a vaccinated person can act as a vector. Since kids under 12 can't be vaccinated, I'd prefer not risking being a vector that gets them sick. Kids can be immunocompromised, too.