Can we play nice for a while?

[bbbamI]

Most of us are under a lot of stress. I've been a member of this forum for a long time. Even if I don't agree with another member's post, I still consider it.

I sincerely wish the best for each and everyone here.

Tonya....aka bbbamI

 

[target2019]

I ran over my limit of multi quotes. It's easier to just say I agree with almost everything said so far, and it's a great discussion. Thanks to all!

But, what can we DO about it?

Ignoring it would be my instinctive reaction, but isn't that the same as condoning it?

How do you convince someone who is a loyal follower of a the screaming heads on the left or right that they're being jerked around like a puppet on a string? They each believe that everyone else is in some grand conspiracy against them, and they're defending some great secret that only a few initiates know.

This need to be the carrier of some secret none of your friends know is a deeply held human trait.

It reminds me of the early days of e-mail, when people believed there was a kid who could be saved by millions of get-well cards, or that Microsoft would give you money, if you just forwarded this e-mail to all of your contacts.

Do not feed the trolls.
Ignore is your friend.
The answer is along those lines.

40-45% vote one way or the other. That leaves 15-20% searching for their next response. You will not sway the 80-90% set in stone, but you can leave nuggets for the independents.

 

[CaptTom]

Screaming heads..... I like that description. I goes well with "merchants of outrage". Thanks.

I'm stealing that one, thanks!

Do not feed the trolls.
Ignore is your friend.
The answer is along those lines.

40-45% vote one way or the other. That leaves 15-20% searching for their next response. You will not sway the 80-90% set in stone, but you can leave nuggets for the independents.

Of course you're right. I usually go with 41% on each side, leaving 18% trying to listen to facts, but close enough. It's appalling.

I'm OK with loyalty to "your team." The problem comes about when that changes to hatred and vitriol toward everyone on the "other team."

It just feels wrong to allow that level of malevolence to go unanswered, as if it's somehow OK to behave that way. That's what I mean by condoning.

 

[KCGeezer]

I have a couple of relatives that when they post something that I know to be untrue or can’t prove to myself through independent means, I ask about it. Rarely get a response. When we’ve been at gatherings together I never bring up the disputed item.

Thankfully here, the discussion is almost always civil and well reasoned.

 

[Souschef]

First of all, I love this site. I have learned so much, as well as admire the photographers and craftsman that post their works.
There are people crying for attention. I have encountered one such person on 2 sites.. On the first, she created sock puppets of a Romanian girl married to an American who adopted a one legged Romanian orphan. She was called out and kicked off.
On a political site, she claimed to quit her job at Walmart to be a flight instructor.
For your entertainment, I am posting her post

I was looking forward to teaching ground school (beginner pilot lessons) again ...
I pack up the suitcase full of necessary crap ...
And make the two-minute drive to our local airstrip where I will RULE the one paved runway until noon. It's 6:45am.
I come around the curve and slam on the brakes. There's a CAR pulling into the lot!
There's no room for one more car in the lot!
I check the roster. 3 people. THREE people, not 30! I back up and sneak down the grassy strip and hide the car behind a hangar and call Alex, the troll in the tower. Actually the tower is a single story. We have one paved runway, one grass strip. Sometimes it gets mowed. This ain't LAX.
"Um, yeah, um, they're from Eagle Pointe and came down here for a day of lessons. They got them vouchers fer free lessons cuz they're over 55," Alex tells me.
"Vouchers? From whom? What company?" I yell.
"I reckon your company," he says.
Oh God. I don't have a company; I work for the FAA.
I come from behind the hangar in my utility uniform (damn you, FAA) and what do I see? A damned Beechcraft Baron sitting on the runway and our training Cessna nowhere to be found!
"We put that old Cessna back for you," said the 90-year-old owner of the beast.
I hate twin prop engines with a passion. NO THEY WILL NOT FLY ON ONE ENGINE, but the one that's still running will get you straight to the crash site at least 30 minutes ahead of the fire and rescue personnel.
The crowd isn't happy when I order it off the runway and get Alex to drag out the Cessna. I find my legal students and then address the interlopers. Turns out there's a new group in town targeting seniors.
"Free lessons if you bring your own plane." Well, that will do it.
In tiny print: "This offer is not validated or endorsed by the Federal Aviation Administration." AHA!! That got me off the hook.
They left, grumbling. Holy cow!
I introduce myself to the two students. They start their day watching shortened horrific plane crashes due to pilot errors. I like scaring the crap out of them; it gets their mind into a better perspective. They're no longer Billy Badass Pilot.
They are "I got people on here." One left, terrified.
I have 2 really good students who seem to listen ... and want to learn.


I knew her name, and discovered she did not even have a pilots license, let alone an instructors certificate.
I spoke to the chief pilot at the airport she claims she flew from and his comment was:

Just WOW.

This person really has some issues.that is an interesting instructional technique. Maybe she got the idea from her DUI mandated state driver ed course?.

 

[ERD50]

How do you determine what this TRUTH is? Just using one's own judgement isn't enough as both left and right have now erected self-consistent news architectures which often contradict one another.

My personal take is to use nominally "trusted" news organizations on the left and right, like NPR/NYT vs WSJ (NOT MSNBC vs Fox). If something appears as a fact in such venues on both sides then it probably is. If something is presented as a fact by only one side and is entirely invisible on the other then it is suspect.

That works for me, but I'm genuinely interested in what others do. Just saying "I'm smart enough and have good enough critical thinking skills to know the truth" doesn't work anymore.

My thoughts: Your approach isn't bad, IMO, but it is still problematic. My approach, is I think better/simpler, what do you think? :

I don't trust any source. Like BB King sang:

"Nobody loves me, but my mother, And she could be jivin` too. "

When you hear something that is going to affect you, ignore it until/unless you can find the source. There are many things that are accepted as fact that if you went to the source, the unedited video/audio, you would discover that the news media clipped it to present a certain view. If you can't find a source, or don't have the time/motivation, just ignore it (or assume it's the opposite, which is probably the case). Your blood pressure will be far lower.

I could give many examples to illustrate this point, but they'd be considered too political, and I'd probably get modded. Maybe I can give one that's old enough to not be a "hot button"? Consider this:

Here is a transcript of a 911 call:

Caller: Hey we've had some break-ins in my neighborhood, and there's a real suspicious guy, ... This guy looks like he's up to no good, or he's on drugs or something. It's raining and he's just walking around, looking about.

Dispatcher: OK, and this guy is he white, black, or Hispanic?

Caller: He looks black.

And here is how it was presented on some major news networks:

Caller: Hey we've had some break-ins in my neighborhood, and there's a real suspicious guy, ... This guy looks like he's up to no good, or he's on drugs or something. It's raining and he's just walking around, looking about.

He looks black.

The major news network makes it look like the caller is prejudiced, when clearly, he was simply answering a question from the dispatcher, trying to get an ID to help LE, as honestly as he could.

The caller might have all sorts of issues, but this was not an honest, informative portrayal of the facts from the media. So don't accept anything, ignore it, unless you can find an unedited source.

-ERD50

 

[target2019]

Do not feed the trolls.
Ignore is your friend.
The answer is along those lines.

40-45% vote one way or the other. That leaves 15-20% searching for their next response. You will not sway the 80-90% set in stone, but you can leave nuggets for the independents.

Of course you're right. I usually go with 41% on each side, leaving 18% trying to listen to facts, but close enough. It's appalling.

I'm OK with loyalty to "your team." The problem comes about when that changes to hatred and vitriol toward everyone on the "other team."

It just feels wrong to allow that level of malevolence to go unanswered, as if it's somehow OK to behave that way. That's what I mean by condoning.

Hang in there, Captain. One person's malevolence is another's passion!

I just re-connected with a former co-worker, through LinkedIn. He left minicorp maybe 6 months before me. I genuinely liked the guy, but I had a very difficult time chatting around the office, with his xenophobia, political beliefs, and complete willingness to speak out loud about non-business subjects. We'll see how relationship 2.0 goes...

He posted something suggesting that the common view of COVID-19 spread is based on insufficient data and poor modelling, and it's not as serious as you believe. I promise to be nice...

 

[Amethyst]

You think that's bad. I became friends at work with the kindest, nicest man imaginable. Never had a bad word for anybody, always something encouraging to say. Photos of wife and kid all over his desk, and loved to talk about them.

Then we became FB "friends" and I found out about his other side. Everything bad that happens was the result of a left-wing conspiracy. He believes in something called the "Cabal," which is trying to take over the world. He posts photos of scantily dressed, young "patriotic women" (usually holding weapons). I quietly unfriended him, and just check his page now and then to see how crazy he's getting. It's always something new!
According to him, we are going to get revenge on China for spreading COVID-19 (see how few deaths they had, and how many the U.S. has? A-HA!) and meanwhile, Trump is using COVID-19 to drain the swamp.

And he has a gazillion followers.

I just re-connected with a former co-worker, through LinkedIn. He left minicorp maybe 6 months before me. I genuinely liked the guy, but I had a very difficult time chatting around the office, with his xenophobia, political beliefs,...

He posted something suggesting that the common view of COVID-19 spread is based on insufficient data and poor modelling, and it's not as serious as you believe. I promise to be nice...

 

[JoeWras]

You think that's bad. I became friends at work with the kindest, nicest man imaginable. [Then, Facebook...]

FB is weird that way. I think anyone on FB has had that experience.

My shocker was my DW's niece. Same thing, different side of the political isle.

 

[CaptTom]

I could give many examples to illustrate this point, but they'd be considered too political, and I'd probably get modded.

Which is sort of my point. The minute someone screams "how DARE you post facts which contradict my beliefs!" we all roll over and self-censor. That makes me very uncomfortable.

 

[Chuckanut]

The caller might have all sorts of issues, but this was not an honest, informative portrayal of the facts from the media. So don't accept anything, ignore it, unless you can find an unedited source.

-ERD50

+1

One local radio station in my area won't carry the White House briefings on CV because they can't verify what a certain person says. So, the listeners have to wait until the station's reporters 'fact check' the information and then they tell us what they think he was saying and what they think we need to know. Go figure.

FWIW, yesterday's (3/31) press conference on CV19 was excellent in my opinion. The two Drs. presented very good information, the politicians were reasonably well behaved, and the press actually asked a few good questions.

 

[pacergal]

I enjoy this forum, it is informative, creative and helpful. And I think, filled with very caring people. And moderated very, very well.

Some posters are factual, some more emotion driven. It's up to me to choose how I accept the information and what I do with it.
Each of us has our own opinions. I don't believe you can force someone to believe what you do, no matter how many facts/opinions you put out.

I take what I can put to use in my own life and leave the rest. I post what works for me. If you accept it, great. If not, thats OK too.
I skip over some posts, and pay attention to others. It works for me.

 

[Lakewood90712]

But, I suppose I am still eligible for the 2021 retreat to Antarctica?

You will eventually be released from DSP ( double secret probation ) .

Way back in 2007, [mod edit] a moderator put me on DSP. I think I am off, but not really sure. Usually only lasts a year or two. , so carry on and keep posting.

 

[mystang52]

I'm one of many that have become too stressed out and depressed over current situation. Right or wrong, I now severely limit my news intake, and frankly skip most threads here with COVID in the title.
I just got back from a walk in the neighborhood with DW. There were a few other walkers we passed. In each instance, we exchanged a wave and a smile. People are generally friendly in my area, anyway, but this was a step above. It was very relaxing. I'll do my best to be nice as well.

 

[Lakewood90712]

I'm one of many that have become too stressed out and depressed over current situation. Right or wrong, I now severely limit my news intake, and frankly skip most threads here with COVID in the title.
I just got back from a walk in the neighborhood with DW. There were a few other walkers we passed. In each instance, we exchanged a wave and a smile. People are generally friendly in my area, anyway, but this was a step above. It was very relaxing. I'll do my best to be nice as well.

As this continues , I kind of feel like I am on a plane that is crashing in slow motion, knowing I will walk away from the crash, but also knowing some on the plane will not.

 

[Nemo2]

As this continues , I kind of feel like I am on a plane that is crashing in slow motion, [-]knowing[/-] hoping I will walk away from the crash, but also knowing some on the plane will not.

FIFY

 

[Mdlerth]

Who'd a thunk it?

He posts photos of scantily dressed, young "patriotic women"... And he has a gazillion followers.

Don't let Madison Avenue hear about this.

 

[JoeWras]

You will eventually be released from DSP ( double secret probation ) .

Way back in 2007, [mod edit] a moderator put me on DSP. I think I am off, but not really sure. Usually only lasts a year or two. , so carry on and keep posting.

For some reason I have this vision of the Tasmanian devil dressed in a robe, pointing at Lakewood saying: "You shall be put on Double Secret Probation. Walk right with the moderators or you shall 'go travelin' permanantly."

 

[Lakewood90712]

For some reason I have this vision of the Tasmanian devil dressed in a robe, pointing at Lakewood saying: "You shall be put on Double Secret Probation. Walk right with the moderators or you shall 'go travelin' permanantly."

Exactly , the power went out, and he apeared as a holograph, then the power came back on.

 

[Music Lover]

+1

One local radio station in my area won't carry the White House briefings on CV because they can't verify what a certain person says. So, the listeners have to wait until the station's reporters 'fact check' the information and then they tell us what they think he was saying and what they think we need to know. Go figure.

So, instead of the actual press conference you get the radio station's edited version of it. Some TV stations are now doing the same thing.

And the media somehow still wonders why people don't trust them?

 

[Gumby]

The answer to the original question being "apparently not," this thread is closed.