This isn't a serious concern yet, but it is in the back of my mind. One day in the future my wife and I may have to financially support her parents.
A little background: My wife, my wife's parents, and her four siblings arrived in the U.S. as refugees from Cambodia about 20 years ago. None spoke English at the time and they had zero when they arrived here. Over the years, my wife and her siblings all learned English and have become gainfully employed. Today, her mother and father (my parents-in-law) know very basic English and her father is still employed in the construction industry (age ~55). They are still 7-10 years away from some social security.
My FIL's job is physically demanding, and as a result, he may not be able to physically handle the job for many more years. Other less strenuous job prospects making a similar amount of money aren't too good for him due to limited English proficiency. MIL stays home and makes a small amount of money from a home-based agricultural business. She also babysits her multiple grandchildren and receives below-market payments (essentially "donations") for this service from the grandchildren's parents (including me). Savings are minimal, perhaps 1 year's expenses. Small mortgage on a modest house is about half paid off, with 10-11 years left.
My wife's 4 siblings have jobs and/or spouses with jobs such that they all make a decent living. To my knowledge, my wife and I have a higher household income than all the other siblings, but not by too much in some cases. It appears to me that the 4 siblings spend everything they make for the most part. One or two might save a very small amount, but that usually ends up getting spent on something. Plenty of debt to go around too. We have tried to get some siblings interested in saving and investing with limited to no success. In contrast, me and DW save the majority of what we earn and intend to be FI/RE (or at least FI) in 7-10 years. We have our own children to take care of too.
My parents-in-law are fairly simple folks and don't need a lot of money, but they'll probably need more than what SS has to offer given their abbreviated earnings history in the U.S. At some point in the next 5, 10 or 15 years, my parents-in-law's expenses will be greater than their income from all sources. The "retirement plan" for them is to have my wife and her siblings help out with their expenses. This is how things were done "in the old country" and at this point in time, there aren't too many other options for them besides this type of retirement plan. I am ambivalent leaning towards accepting of this idea. However, in my planner's and spreadsheeter's mind, the uncertainty with respect to the timing and amount of the support obligation really bugs me (not the idea of the payment itself). The equitable sharing of this burden among siblings is also of concern to me. DW and me don't mind helping, but it should be a family effort with the other siblings.
I'm having a hard time dealing with what steps I should be taking now. While DW and I sacrifice and save up our proverbial millions for FIRE, I have a sneaking suspicion none of the other siblings are doing this. How do I prevent the problem, say, in 2016, of DW and me being the "rich daughter" and son-in-law expected to be the sole supporters of my parents-in-law? Upon FIRE, we'll probably do a good bit of international globetrotting and spend a couple weeks a year lounging on cruise ships in the caribbean or other locale (at first at least). In any event, we won't be doing the 9-5 thing while all the other siblings probably will be. They are all great, honest people. But how do you tell them that your 4% safe withdrawal rate doesn't allow for you to pay their share of the support burden? The general attitude of the siblings is to "not worry about it", "it'll be ok", and "why do you worry about that stuff?". Very fatalistic attitudes and quite the opposite of my view on life.
DW's siblings don't really know about our FIRE plans, other than that we "save a lot and are cheap" and "we always have money".
All her family lives within 5-10 minutes of each other and they all have close relationships, so our FIRE lifestyle (before and after FIRE) can't be hidden or watered down.
My plans are to discuss this at length with DW and see where it leads. Her family isn't really the planning type though. Not sure how this is going to end. It would be nice if I knew the date and amount of annual payments required. I could at least save that much extra to support a little bit higher SWR.
Not sure if I'm venting, asking for advice, or just putting thoughts into writing and getting this off my chest. I don't want to create animosity or resentment among the family. But I may feel resentful myself if DW and I are the ones left on the hook after all of our hard work.
Anybody been through a similar experience? Thoughts? Advice?
A little background: My wife, my wife's parents, and her four siblings arrived in the U.S. as refugees from Cambodia about 20 years ago. None spoke English at the time and they had zero when they arrived here. Over the years, my wife and her siblings all learned English and have become gainfully employed. Today, her mother and father (my parents-in-law) know very basic English and her father is still employed in the construction industry (age ~55). They are still 7-10 years away from some social security.
My FIL's job is physically demanding, and as a result, he may not be able to physically handle the job for many more years. Other less strenuous job prospects making a similar amount of money aren't too good for him due to limited English proficiency. MIL stays home and makes a small amount of money from a home-based agricultural business. She also babysits her multiple grandchildren and receives below-market payments (essentially "donations") for this service from the grandchildren's parents (including me). Savings are minimal, perhaps 1 year's expenses. Small mortgage on a modest house is about half paid off, with 10-11 years left.
My wife's 4 siblings have jobs and/or spouses with jobs such that they all make a decent living. To my knowledge, my wife and I have a higher household income than all the other siblings, but not by too much in some cases. It appears to me that the 4 siblings spend everything they make for the most part. One or two might save a very small amount, but that usually ends up getting spent on something. Plenty of debt to go around too. We have tried to get some siblings interested in saving and investing with limited to no success. In contrast, me and DW save the majority of what we earn and intend to be FI/RE (or at least FI) in 7-10 years. We have our own children to take care of too.
My parents-in-law are fairly simple folks and don't need a lot of money, but they'll probably need more than what SS has to offer given their abbreviated earnings history in the U.S. At some point in the next 5, 10 or 15 years, my parents-in-law's expenses will be greater than their income from all sources. The "retirement plan" for them is to have my wife and her siblings help out with their expenses. This is how things were done "in the old country" and at this point in time, there aren't too many other options for them besides this type of retirement plan. I am ambivalent leaning towards accepting of this idea. However, in my planner's and spreadsheeter's mind, the uncertainty with respect to the timing and amount of the support obligation really bugs me (not the idea of the payment itself). The equitable sharing of this burden among siblings is also of concern to me. DW and me don't mind helping, but it should be a family effort with the other siblings.
I'm having a hard time dealing with what steps I should be taking now. While DW and I sacrifice and save up our proverbial millions for FIRE, I have a sneaking suspicion none of the other siblings are doing this. How do I prevent the problem, say, in 2016, of DW and me being the "rich daughter" and son-in-law expected to be the sole supporters of my parents-in-law? Upon FIRE, we'll probably do a good bit of international globetrotting and spend a couple weeks a year lounging on cruise ships in the caribbean or other locale (at first at least). In any event, we won't be doing the 9-5 thing while all the other siblings probably will be. They are all great, honest people. But how do you tell them that your 4% safe withdrawal rate doesn't allow for you to pay their share of the support burden? The general attitude of the siblings is to "not worry about it", "it'll be ok", and "why do you worry about that stuff?". Very fatalistic attitudes and quite the opposite of my view on life.
DW's siblings don't really know about our FIRE plans, other than that we "save a lot and are cheap" and "we always have money".
All her family lives within 5-10 minutes of each other and they all have close relationships, so our FIRE lifestyle (before and after FIRE) can't be hidden or watered down. My plans are to discuss this at length with DW and see where it leads. Her family isn't really the planning type though. Not sure how this is going to end. It would be nice if I knew the date and amount of annual payments required. I could at least save that much extra to support a little bit higher SWR.
Not sure if I'm venting, asking for advice, or just putting thoughts into writing and getting this off my chest. I don't want to create animosity or resentment among the family. But I may feel resentful myself if DW and I are the ones left on the hook after all of our hard work.
Anybody been through a similar experience? Thoughts? Advice?
