audreyh1
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
My ad thinks I want to buy a 2014 Infiniti QX60.
Obviously these ads are personalized!
Obviously these ads are personalized!
Ahhhh, my brother had an album of his when I was a kid! I remember this song fondly as well as one, IIRC, Swimming Down the River.Dan Hicks and his Hot licks-How Can I Miss You When You Won't Go Away - YouTube
Brewer - Thanks for starting the thread. I am concerned about exactly what you are experiencing. My wife and I retiring together is going to be like throwing a couple of squirrels into a blender. Somebody is going to loose some fur.
Got my theme song already picked out....
Let's not hijack this thread any further. I call a cease fire but I have to say I don't appreciate your condescension to other parents. They are smart enough to make their own decisions and to accept or reject what I said. The last time I checked I was free to have an opinion on what I feel including about the psychobable industry. I did not anticipate I would be picking a fight with you when I posted my opinion.
Yup, you are free to have an opinion and I am free to refute it. At least this way both POVs are out there. So sorry you don't like to be challenged, but that is what happens when you put your POV out there. The supposed "condensation" is purely in your imagination.Let's not hijack this thread any further. I call a cease fire but I have to say I don't appreciate your condescension to other parents. They are smart enough to make their own decisions and to accept or reject what I said. The last time I checked I was free to have an opinion on what I feel including about the psychobable industry. I did not anticipate I would be picking a fight with you when I posted my opinion.
Yes, this is getting off topic. But it's an important subject, and one that I can assure you I have plenty of training in dealing with. And while I don't normally inject myself into these squabbles, I feel the need to do so here. So here are the facts, which are well established within the guidlines of the mental health community:
If a child is not suicidal, asking them if they have ever contemplated suicide will NOT put any ideas in their head. Period.
Many children keep their feelings deeply hidden and would NEVER admit to having thoughts of suicide. Yet when asked directly if they have thought about it, they will admit to having had them. Hearing confirmation allows parents or friends to help them talk about it and refer them to the therapy they need.
And while on the topic, the rate of teen suicide among gay teens is abnormally high, because too many people are afraid to ask them if they have ever thought about suicide. So if you think there is even a remote possibility, always ask. Period.
And finally, my experience is that those who speak out aggressively about how worthless counseling is are the most likely to benefit from it.
Heh, I think by this time in a thread it tends to veer off the original topic.
It's kind of ironic, because we thought to ask first if he thought he was gay, assuring him we could care less, rather than think that he thought to commit suicide. It was honestly a bit of a shock therapy...if he wasn't gay, if he wasn't dealing drugs or taking them, then what could be so bad to talk to us about. Oops. Not sure who got shocked by that therapy! Bet DH wished he was already retired that day. Had to be a bitch of a day at work!
Bingo. A sympathetic set of ears and please don't suggest solutions.The real question is, when it comes to relationships, do you really want help, or are you just interested in avoiding the issue?
Let's not hijack this thread any further. I call a cease fire but I have to say I don't appreciate your condescension to other parents. They are smart enough to make their own decisions and to accept or reject what I said. The last time I checked I was free to have an opinion on what I feel including about the psychobable industry. I did not anticipate I would be picking a fight with you when I posted my opinion.
I am a month and a half into being job free, but spousal arguments have definitely been more frequent since the separation. Anyone else trod a similar path, or am I just lucky?
Anyone else getting licensed social workers ads showing up in the paid ads at the top of this thread? Man, its amazing how the internet tracks everything now.
Bingo. A sympathetic set of ears and please don't suggest solutions.
Did that get me in a lot of trouble with women at work. With me being the boss, they come in with their complaints, so I go about fixing the problem. Then they would come back upset with me because I fixed or attempted to fix the problem. Seems all they wanted to do was just come in to vent. Well, tell me that before!
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That common male to female communication issue is actually covered in the Gottman materials. Women are more likely to want a sympathetic ear when men tend to be more problem solvers.
But woe be to us ladies who are the problem solvers, when faced with venting men (or women)! Nothing more puzzling!
Bingo! My "spot" is usually upstairs and he's downstairs in the den. (Of course, he isn't retired yet so we'll see when the yelling starts in a couple of years. ) We have always been pretty good at "co-existing" because we know when to leave each other alone.As a general question (not just for the OP) how much of post-retirement arguing is due to the size of the shared living space?
While I am not yet retired DW and I don't see arguing as an issue, since we have both shared and individual interests both inside and outside of the house, and we balance our shared and individual time.
We have three finished levels on an acre of land, and there are days when, unless we make an effort to see each other, we might not know the other is home. No kids at home at the moment, so nothing gets real messy. We agree on "his" "hers" and "ours" zones inside and outside the house, with the simple rule to keep the "ours" zones neat and clean but let whatever want happen in our zones. Even in our shared ares we can be working on different activities and may not talk to each other for hours, but are just happy for the others' presence.
We don't see each other having increasing conflicts, but then we have a big enough house where we are not "forced" into each others presence all the time. While we do consider downsizing, I'm wondering if that may lead to more arguments because we won't have as much living space.
Women are more likely to want a sympathetic ear when men tend to be more problem solvers.
And, in other news, it appears that being angry is really bad for you:
Seeing red? Angry outbursts increase your risk of heart attack: study - National | Globalnews.ca
Sorry, that just tickled my funny bone. I must have spent several thousand dollars trying to figure this stuff out. Don't think it ever happened. Every few years I needed to take a "refresher". Most times were pretty good. We pretty much stopped fighting when the kids were about 7 & 8. Sure do miss that lady. She has been gone going on 5 years.It took a couple of years for that to sink in for me with DW. She had to spell it out in short sentences using one syllable words but I finally got the message.
While I know what to do, I still don't understand the why. If it doesn't fix the problem what good does it do? Yes, I understand that it makes her feel better, but it still doesn't fix the underlying problem.
That is a very difficult thing for a guy to understand.