Katsmeow
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2009
- Messages
- 5,308
So what are some examples of these rules that adult kids don't like?
After his first semester of college, our oldest son decided not to go back. At first, he was going to stay at home (he had a part-time job and was going to find a full-time job) for a time. We were going to charge him something to cover the cost of him being there. Anyway, he didn't want to follow the rules and quickly moved out. The main ones:
1. He needed to let us know when he would be home. He didn't have a curfew, but if he went out I wanted to know if he would be home at midnight or 4 AM. He could change this during the evening but needed to contact one of us in some way that he knew we knew about it (ie call us if we didn't respond to a text which we wouldn't always see). He couldn't understand why we wanted to know when he would be home. I worried though if he was out in the middle of the night and I had no idea when to expect him home.
2. He couldn't be away from the house for more than two nights without talking to us first. The reason for this was that he did have chores to do around the house (as did all of us) and he tended to go and stay with friends for 3 or 4 days without doing his chores before leaving and so someone else would have to do them. By knowing in advance he was going somewhere I could insist he do them before leaving.
3. He couldn't have a friend over for more than one night without talking to us first. (There weren't girlfriends, just a friend staying over). Same reason as above. When he had a friend over, he wouldn't do his chores while they were there and didn't like us to ask him to do work while they were there. So, he would try to have a friend there a lot so we wouldn't ask him to do work.
Basically, the issue from our standpoint was that he wanted to treat our house more like a hotel where he could come and go as he liked and we had to do all the work. We wanted him to treat our house like he was a member of the household. So, he chose to move out.