EastWest Gal
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I'm asking this in this forum because I've seen how helpful you all have been with similar questions asked by others. My story:
I have a "friend" I can no longer tolerate. We met a couple of years ago, and she has been playing in my flute choir-we meet 8-10x/year. She lives in NJ and I am in PA. She is a compulsive talker, giving her unsolicited opinion on everything and anything all the time. She blurs boundaries. She has ADHD and I suspect borderline personality disorder. Last June, her incessant talking caused her to rear-end someone while I was a passenger and yelling at her to stop. She plowed into the other car with considerable force, completely failing to apply brakes. I was injured, fortunately with just severe seatbelt bruises.
My flute choir played a concert on Sunday. I asked her to come an extra day early because of her tardiness. She brought two WEEKS of clothes (for 3 nights) in a giant suitcase, her flutes, and BAGPIPES. Did I say, BAGPIPES? Even though I sent her the FLUTE music by email weeks ago, she never printed it out or looked at it. She asked me to print it out when she arrived at my house. Outside of dress rehearsal, she refused to practice more than an hour.
Sunday, while I was changing into concert clothes 15 minutes before we needed to leave for the concert, apparently she took out her BAGPIPES and walked up the street playing them. When I finally found her, I called out that we needed to go, and she got upset because I “yelled” at her. In my haste and anger, backing out of the garage, I sideswiped my son’s car in the driveway. Fortunately the damage was minor-just the sideview mirror. That really fueled my already short fuse. On the way there I ranted for the first 5 minutes about the inappropriateness of her disappearing with her bagpipes, then said I was done talking, did some meditative breathing exercises, focused on driving, the concert, etc. She was in near tears, playing the victim, all the while, not accepting her own self-centered behavior.
She left Monday. Again sleeping in until 11AM. She spent 30 minutes looking for her driving glasses, which took me 1 minute to find. DH brought her gigantic suitcase down the stairs and we helped load up her stuff and off she went. I headed to the gym immediately after she left. She insisted on paying for the car damage and gave me a check when I left. Five hours later she discovered she left two flutes at my house and texted me.
DH and I are driving to NJ anyway this week. She will get her flutes back then.
After mulling this over for the past 24 hours, I know that I have to cut off the relationship. I plan to return the money she gave me for the car damage.
I welcome any suggestions on how to end this relationship. It looks like I will see her tomorrow.
I have a "friend" I can no longer tolerate. We met a couple of years ago, and she has been playing in my flute choir-we meet 8-10x/year. She lives in NJ and I am in PA. She is a compulsive talker, giving her unsolicited opinion on everything and anything all the time. She blurs boundaries. She has ADHD and I suspect borderline personality disorder. Last June, her incessant talking caused her to rear-end someone while I was a passenger and yelling at her to stop. She plowed into the other car with considerable force, completely failing to apply brakes. I was injured, fortunately with just severe seatbelt bruises.
My flute choir played a concert on Sunday. I asked her to come an extra day early because of her tardiness. She brought two WEEKS of clothes (for 3 nights) in a giant suitcase, her flutes, and BAGPIPES. Did I say, BAGPIPES? Even though I sent her the FLUTE music by email weeks ago, she never printed it out or looked at it. She asked me to print it out when she arrived at my house. Outside of dress rehearsal, she refused to practice more than an hour.
Sunday, while I was changing into concert clothes 15 minutes before we needed to leave for the concert, apparently she took out her BAGPIPES and walked up the street playing them. When I finally found her, I called out that we needed to go, and she got upset because I “yelled” at her. In my haste and anger, backing out of the garage, I sideswiped my son’s car in the driveway. Fortunately the damage was minor-just the sideview mirror. That really fueled my already short fuse. On the way there I ranted for the first 5 minutes about the inappropriateness of her disappearing with her bagpipes, then said I was done talking, did some meditative breathing exercises, focused on driving, the concert, etc. She was in near tears, playing the victim, all the while, not accepting her own self-centered behavior.
She left Monday. Again sleeping in until 11AM. She spent 30 minutes looking for her driving glasses, which took me 1 minute to find. DH brought her gigantic suitcase down the stairs and we helped load up her stuff and off she went. I headed to the gym immediately after she left. She insisted on paying for the car damage and gave me a check when I left. Five hours later she discovered she left two flutes at my house and texted me.
DH and I are driving to NJ anyway this week. She will get her flutes back then.
After mulling this over for the past 24 hours, I know that I have to cut off the relationship. I plan to return the money she gave me for the car damage.
I welcome any suggestions on how to end this relationship. It looks like I will see her tomorrow.