My Last "Goals" Meeting

[RobotMom]

I had my last meeting with my boss to discuss my annual goals. I did take notes (it was a virtual meeting) but at the top of my notes I wrote "for someone else to do" because I am out of here in 9 weeks!

Normally, I stress out about the goals and wonder if I'll be able to meet them and, if I only partially meet them, how that will impact my annual assessment. Well, no annual assessment this year (or ever). Plus, I'll be long gone by the time annual assessments are done. I had to pretend to care (I think I was convincing enough...).

 

[disneysteve]

Love it!


I'm not there yet, but I had my annual review recently and one of the questions is where do I see myself in the organization over the next 3-5 years. At this moment, 3 years is very possible but by 5 years, I'll definitely be out of here. I didn't say that, of course.

 

[ocean view]

Congratulations! I hope the weeks pass quickly for you. Just the reminder of those goal meetings (we had to do it quarterly) sends me into a little PTSD. Another reason why I vowed to never be on someone else’s payroll again.

 

[easysurfer]

"For someone else to do" .... translation "drops mic".

Congratulations!

 

[Out-to-Lunch]

I love it as well! Good for you.

Not quite the same level of importance, but I just got an email: We had some required online training to do, but they decided to take it down to rework some of it. It won't be back online until after I will stop working! Fine by me...

 

[RunningBum]

This post made me smile! Enjoy your victory lap in these final weeks!

 

[flyingaway]

I went to my supposed to be last performance review meeting without reading the boss's comments and scores because I didn't care. He was certainly upset and told me that I must have something that I didn't tell him. I have no obligation to tell him anything before I actually submit my retirement letter.

 

[Franklin]

great post congrats!!!!

 

[Dash man]

I went to my supposed to be last performance review meeting without reading the boss's comments and scores because I didn't care. He was certainly upset and told me that I must have something that I didn't tell him. I have no obligation to tell him anything before I actually submit my retirement letter.

My boss actually made me sit through my annual review three weeks before I left and over two months after I gave notice. Because I had to respond to everything he wrote in the computer application the company used for tracking reviews. He did give me a raise that was in in my final paycheck.

 

[Alectoris]

How wonderful for you!

Congratulations.

 

[Exchme]

In the last weeks I was with Middlecorp, with COVID killing the business, work came to a screeching halt as management was all hung about everyone setting goals. This while 50% of the staff had been cut, 401K matches stopped, promotions and salaries frozen. But suddenly goals were crucial - they had to be relevant, measurable, time specific, non-fattening, blah, blah (I might have gotten one of those wrong).

The best BS'ers came up with stuff to put on the forms that wouldn't force anyone to do anything different, except pretend to watch some HR videos. Everyone copied with full knowledge that no one would ever look, it was just part of living in a Dilbert cartoon.

I had to apologize a couple of times for "forgetting" to do them as the clock wound down to the day I gave notice. Warms my heart that I dodged all that.

 

[rodi]

I agree with the comment above that the thought of goal setting gave me some PTSD....

My mega corp was big on quantifiable goals that were project specific... and often would reassign you to a different project, cancel a project you had goals for, or generally adapt to market trends that were not predicted when goal setting. Some bosses I had were totally cool - and would re-edit the goals a few weeks before the review would happen - to reflect what you actually did... I used to joke that I should just put down "work on what I'm told to and get it done.. But I had one boss that tried to blame me that I hadn't completed any of the goals... even though he had moved me off the project to a different project. (He was a jerk, and played a part in my decision to ER.)

 

[Calico]

I agree with the comment above that the thought of goal setting gave me some PTSD....

My mega corp was big on quantifiable goals that were project specific... and often would reassign you to a different project, cancel a project you had goals for, or generally adapt to market trends that were not predicted when goal setting. Some bosses I had were totally cool - and would re-edit the goals a few weeks before the review would happen - to reflect what you actually did... I used to joke that I should just put down "work on what I'm told to and get it done.. But I had one boss that tried to blame me that I hadn't completed any of the goals... even though he had moved me off the project to a different project. (He was a jerk, and played a part in my decision to ER.)

I very much wanted to just write "do my job, do it well, meet all my deadlines" on my list of annual goals, and be done with it, but some friends convinced me that not everyone appreciated my sense of humor the way they did.

So every year I made up a bunch of BS goals which stated the above sentiments, but in more "acceptable" lingo, and my boss signed off on them. He thought it was a silly exercise just as I did, which helped.

 

[martyp]

Thanks for the reminder ��

Performance goals. I hated asking for them and giving them. They were one of the first things to be forgotten the next day.

 

[pb4uski]

Love it!


I'm not there yet, but I had my annual review recently and one of the questions is where do I see myself in the organization over the next 3-5 years. At this moment, 3 years is very possible but by 5 years, I'll definitely be out of here. I didn't say that, of course.

Actually, I did say it. My boss knew that my runway was not very long and we are good friends and got along well, so while I would write out something that would satisfy HR when we discussed it we joked that my long term goals were more like playing golf and lying on the beach.

 

[kgtest]

Love it!


I'm not there yet, but I had my annual review recently and one of the questions is where do I see myself in the organization over the next 3-5 years. At this moment, 3 years is very possible but by 5 years, I'll definitely be out of here. I didn't say that, of course.

Where do I see myself in 5 years...collecting dividends under that shaded tree from the seeds I planted years ago..and continued to nurture and invest in. Made in the shade, yep seya in five!

(I am class of 2031) so really, ten

 

[Markola]

My Last "Goals" Meeting

Thanks for the reminder

Performance goals. I hated asking for them and giving them. They were one of the first things to be forgotten the next day.

Ha, one of the great useless management disruptions of the world, but one to master for appearances, for sure. I found that the best defense was aggressive offense. I’d come to the meeting with the document already written, overflowing with goals that I was terribly excited about (because they were going to happen anyway), and make up some numbers here and there for “metrics” that sounded like a good “stretch”. We’d blow the hour sanding the edges on those.

Usually, I’d get a “Hey, you only need 4 goals, not 7” (Translation: We just want to get through this crap and we don’t need anyone busting the Team Curve.) If my boss was prepared and determined, or if HR had come up with some BS they wanted the whole organization to do, she/he might get to add one goal on the very full page. We’d sign the doc, send it to HR, who would never understand it or read it and, [emoji322] all boxes are checked and everybody’s officially happy for another six months. In six months, it’s time to dredge up the document, blow the dust off and, Voila!, everything is on track as promised, thanks to my excellent planning ;-)

 

[FREE866]

Ha Love it!


I remember my last official meeting with my boss in late December 2016. I knew I was putting in notice January 2nd and I remember him going over the 2017 sales comp plan and I was thinking " like every other sales plan this one is trying to get more out of me and pay me less and thank God I'm walking way". I get goosebumps just thinking about it!

 

[MRG]

Congratulations.

Corporate goal bs is something I don't miss.

 

[RobbieB]

I remember goal meetings. That was the 6th Co. I worked for that closed the plant and fired all of us.

 

[harley]

We had (another) major reorg shortly before my planned FIRE date. We were meeting the new VP and he had us all go around the table to introduce ourselves. I was in the process of trying to volunteer for the planned RIF that was in the works, so when it was my turn I said "I'm harley, and my last day of work is July 27, whether I'm still on the payroll or not." In 15 year's retrospect, it was a sort of a-hole comment, but I meant it. They did end giving me the RIF package, which was a nice bonus, and I got the good feeling of saving a coworker's job, at least until the next RIF rolled around.

 

[Leo1277]

I had my last meeting with my boss to discuss my annual goals.
...

Don't you hate it when they call it "my" annual goals. It's "their" annual goals!

 

[RobotMom]

Thanks for all the replies! I love them all. And I totally relate to the PTSD related to goal setting. And just have to ask - if everyone hates goal setting so much, why do companies waste their time on it! I'm a boss and I have to try to extort goals out of people and mostly end up getting "do your job" goals anyway.

Yup, now that I'm down single digits (8 weeks, 3 days to go), the stress is just melting away. Anything that has a deadline past when I'm leaving is a "so what" for me.

 

[MichaelB]

You know you’re retired when “goals” makes you think only about sports and not work.

 

[intent]

And just have to ask - if everyone hates goal setting so much, why do companies waste their time on it! I'm a boss and I have to try to extort goals out of people and mostly end up getting "do your job" goals anyway.

I'd guess it's a follow-the-money situation. The C-suite execs need to report achievement of *something/anything* to the board so that they will be given their very large bonuses. The C-suite execs get to *achieve* a goal by simply requiring goals from everyone, and they don't actually have to do any of the work of meeting with subordinates to set goals - win-win.

Checkbox management, I always called it. Management checks the box, but accomplishes nothing of value.