My teenaged daughter recently had a birthday. As a "treat", she was told to take her friends out to a movie, lunch and to get them "return gifts" afterward. I dropped her off at a local mall. Four hours later, I got a text alert from my bank for a total of $450. Lunch & movie for two friends and herself was around $100. The remaining $350 were "RETURN GIFTS", at $175 each. The girls all entered a high end clothing and make-up store and went on a shopping spree on my dime.
When I called her in utter panic, she says they wanted to pick their own return gifts and ran into the high end stores, picking up everything they wanted. My daughter did not think it was "bad", until I sat her down and gave her a stern lecture about how there's this thing called a "budget" and that $350 for return gifts was NOT being on a "budget". She says that she'll pay me back once she gets a job (she's hunting for a part-time job now). My point is not "pay back", but setting firm boundaries with other people - including family & friends - where money is concerned.
I really have NO idea how to handle this. She's been an authorized user on my card for 4 years now and I've never had this issue before. She's always been a responsible kid, only using the card to occasionally buy lunch and text books for her courses. She's also ALWAYS checked in with me with prices so this is really startling, on top of the fact that she was not assertive enough to speak up and SAY NO, insisting the "return gifts" not be more than what they each gave her --$25 or max $30.
How do I handle this? She's very quiet, not very social and has no other friends. I'm worried if I let this go now, these girls will start taking advantage of her every time they "hang out", especially now that they know that she has a credit card. I understand I can "revoke" her as an authorized user from my card but then she will not learn boundaries, budgeting on spending on friends etc.
Please help.
When I called her in utter panic, she says they wanted to pick their own return gifts and ran into the high end stores, picking up everything they wanted. My daughter did not think it was "bad", until I sat her down and gave her a stern lecture about how there's this thing called a "budget" and that $350 for return gifts was NOT being on a "budget". She says that she'll pay me back once she gets a job (she's hunting for a part-time job now). My point is not "pay back", but setting firm boundaries with other people - including family & friends - where money is concerned.
I really have NO idea how to handle this. She's been an authorized user on my card for 4 years now and I've never had this issue before. She's always been a responsible kid, only using the card to occasionally buy lunch and text books for her courses. She's also ALWAYS checked in with me with prices so this is really startling, on top of the fact that she was not assertive enough to speak up and SAY NO, insisting the "return gifts" not be more than what they each gave her --$25 or max $30.
How do I handle this? She's very quiet, not very social and has no other friends. I'm worried if I let this go now, these girls will start taking advantage of her every time they "hang out", especially now that they know that she has a credit card. I understand I can "revoke" her as an authorized user from my card but then she will not learn boundaries, budgeting on spending on friends etc.
Please help.
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