Fear of Hwy Driving?

[MRG]

I don't fear highway driving. At least I don't think I do. Really haven't driven on a divided highway in over 7 years.

I spent 29 years driving to KCMO and other cities. Philly was a regular, I don't remember driving in Boston. I think we just took trains and cabs. The worst place was Johannesburg. Driving on the other side of the road with insane drivers.

I can relate to your fear, I hit a deer a couple of years ago, and I have had serious problems driving since then. They are all over here and impossible to avoid them. I try not to drive in the dark, but sometimes I have to. I've seen a therapist who treated it like trauma.

Good luck.

 

[brett]

I prefer highway driving.

As above, the trick is to merge at the right speed.

After that travel at speed with traffic, stay in your lane, and stay alert.

I have had far more near misses in the city with people running red lights, making unsafe left turns into oncoming traffic, excessive speed, etc. than I have on the highway.

My only fear on the highway....animals (deer, moose, etc) at sundown and after dark. Plus black ice and/or blowing snow over the roadway during the winter.

 

[LateToFIRE]

Driving in NYC for 40 years, driving dark, wet, two-lane country roads for 10 years, driving in places like Italy, France, Greece, where driving is bloodsport, all those things have beaten the fear out of me. [Plus decent amount of experience driving things that are weirder to drive than cars like planes & boats]

Lots of great advice here, I'll add some emphasis:

1) Look further ahead, where you look is where you'll go.
2) Conversely, do not look where you don't want to go. For example if you're worried about the semi next to you, try to not focus on it because that would cause you to naturally veer into it. Pilots learn this concept quickly - really helps.
3) There are times when it is best to drive aggressively - on ramps as an example
4) If you can afford it, drive a late model car with all the latest greatest safety gadgets and technology - knowing you have as much help and protection as possible reduces the fear.

 

[Aerides]

Are you talking busy highway driving, divided highway, or two lane highway?

This is a good point, because "highway" can mean a lot of things. If you say it in South Florida, the assumption is i-95, 5ish lanes each way, busy, fast, all the time. (I avoid it when I can).

But in other parts of the country, highway can smaller than our typical major roads.

 

[mystang52]

[*]002830]One thing the pro racing schools teach (and I have been to a couple) and I have coached from time to time is the driver's eye point. Most drivers are looking too close to the car. .

[*]This eye point stuff may have nothing to do with the OP's fear of highway driving, but then it might. Some time spent trying to drive with minimum steering wheel movement should tell the tale.

[*]My first Driver's Ed lesson, the instructor said "aim high" as in, take note what is ahead on the road and not just the car in front of you.

[*]

[*] Other than that, as long as I am well rested, I can handle things, though I will talk to myself on I-95 from New Jersey across the GW Bridge and the Cross-Bronx Expressway .

[*]On two lane roads, which there are many in my area, the main concern with oncoming traffic is bad weather. One reason I am glad I have no need to be out and about during or after an ice or snow storm .

[*] Now that I no longer HAVE to go anywhere, I stopped driving on snow covered roads. I'll just wait 'til they are cleared. Driving on the Cross Bronx, though, is easy since you're never moving anyway

[*]

You folks need to include your age in the thread when youre posting your comments in this thread....
[*]Ive noticed my driving, discomfort, nervousness, paranoia, overly cautiousness has gotten worse while driving in various conditions, like turning / curve on bridges & turns on unfamiliar freeways at speed of flow of traffic, nervous about driving fast on freeway, its like im scared of loosing control...

I'm 71, and my driving skills are not what they used to be. I drive slower, now. I don't completely avoid driving at night, yet, but for unimportant errands I will wait until daylight to drive somewhere. Here in NJ we have 2 main North-South highways, NJ Turnpike and Garden St. Parkway. Even if the Parkway is faster as the crow flies, I won't drive on it at night; the lanes are a bit narrower and it's not as well lit.

 

[street]

No fears yet on highways etc.. Not that it is a problem I don't care to drive at night but have no issues doing it or any concerns.

One thing is such rural area I live you don't need to go on any major road to get to where we need to go.

Many times, the round trip to ranch I will never see one vehicle or just a local car from that area. Can drive 35 miles an hour and take it all in and never see a soul.

 

[pacergal]

+ on the looking ahead, my drivers Ed instructor taught the same thing, best lesson ever.
OP-I don't think it is unusual to feel less confident driving as we age.
There are "senior" driving classes if you think that might help.

I had a 45-60+ minute commute each way for 40 some years. Freeway/highway was the fastest. It was never my most enjoyable, but I did it.
Now retired and >65, neither DH nor I drive at night if we can avoid it, do shopping early in the day or early evening.
If taking a driving vacation, we never drive more than 8-10 hours for the day and stop every 2 hours for a walking break. And generally stay in the right lane.
Any snow or ice, we stay hunkered down at home and do not go out.

 

[ERD50]

Originally Posted by RunningBum View Post
Are you talking busy highway driving, divided highway, or two lane highway?

This is a good point, because "highway" can mean a lot of things. If you say it in South Florida, the assumption is i-95, 5ish lanes each way, busy, fast, all the time. (I avoid it when I can).

But in other parts of the country, highway can smaller than our typical major roads.

+2, and why I avoided commenting until now, because what exactly are we talking about?.

DW has become more and more afraid of our expressways/tollways (high speed divided highways), and it drives me (no pun intended) nuts. She wants me to take the 'back roads', because it makes her 'feel' safer.

I keep pointing out, even though the other cars/trucks are driving 75 instead of 55, the stats say that you are ~ 4x safer on the divided highways. Mostly because there is no head-on traffic, no cross traffic, fewer stops, no pedestrians, no bikes, etc.

And even at 75mph, the difference in speed between us and the other cars is only a few mph. A collision is typically going to be far less damaging than hitting a car crossing you, or hitting you head on.

I double checked the physics on this before posting:

Kinetic Energy = (mass times velocity squared) divided by 2.

A) Two identical cars hitting head on, each going 50 mph, is like one car at 100 mph hitting a stationary car.

B) A car hitting a brick wall at 50 mph, is like two identical cars hitting head on, each going 50 mph,

I keep telling DW that we are taking the divided highway for safety, and that her 'feeling' safer on the back roads doesn't make us safer. I'll give in if it's a short distance, but I hold my ground if it is more than a few miles.

She used to drive the divided highways every day, no problem, then didn't want to drive them (insisted that I drive), and now doesn't even want to ride them.

-ERD50

 

[djsander]

As someone who drives on multi lane interstates pretty much everywhere every day, the way I have always dealt with this is I am somewhat of an aggressive driver, meaning I drive faster than the average traffic. It is easier to cross multiple lanes of traffic if you are going at least as fast or faster. It is very difficult to do if you are going slower.

Same principle with on ramps. If you speed up to the speed of traffic or even a tad faster you will always be able to get in. If you on ramp slower than traffic hoping some one slows down and let’s you in that is really stressful as you have no control.

Obviously on balance the faster you drive the more dangerous it is, but there is a balance as too slow on interstates is really stressful.

Also losing some level of vision acuity makes a big difference. It lights become blurry or halo or there are dark spots at night it is tough to have the confidence to navigate those more difficult situations. My cataracts aren’t helping.

What’s the need to cross multiple lanes of traffic by driving faster than everybody else. If your going with the flow you can do it in steps. I’ve seen the people going faster and having to go across four or five lanes to hit the exit ramp without getting over ahead of time. Also, the guy that has to accelerate all the way across the four or five lanes when they enter the free way so they are in the fast lane. What’s the purpose?

 

[PatrickA5]

Don't (yet) have a fear of highway driving. My pet peeve is people that camp out in the left lane on a multi-lane divided highway. That's fine if your going well over the speed limit, but some people are oblivious to other cars and just cause all sorts of problems. In my state, it's a law that you have to drive in the right lane unless passing. Obviously, I'm talking about rural driving - not in-city driving.

The only place that scares me as far as highway driving is Texas. Apparently, it's against the law to drive sane there.

Just drove the Million Dollar Highway in Colorado. A whole new level of fear.

 

[aja8888]

If you really want to learn how to drive safely, take the course that over the road truck drivers take.

I did it years ago, and it changed my driving style forever. Learn to anticipate what's ahead and what those nutty drivers may do that can put you in a bad spot. At my age (80), and still driving long distances on highways, I still practice laying back in the pack and watching for the actions of other drivers.

 

[38Chevy454]

I'm out in the country a bit. All two lanes without much shoulder. Those roads are far more dangerous than divided highway. Agree to look farther ahead when driving.

For OP, I think it is mostly a "the more you do it, the more comfortable it will be" issue. Go with the flow, whatever speed that is. Look farther ahead. Try to leave sufficient space for reaction time, but not always as much space as you like.

Only thing I notice as getting older (almost 60) is night driving. Especially all the new cars with such bright lights that seem to be frequently out of adjustment. Near blinding for short time on the two lanes.

 

[LateToFIRE]

I'm out in the country a bit. All two lanes without much shoulder. Those roads are far more dangerous than divided highway. Agree to look farther ahead when driving.

For OP, I think it is mostly a "the more you do it, the more comfortable it will be" issue. Go with the flow, whatever speed that is. Look farther ahead. Try to leave sufficient space for reaction time, but not always as much space as you like.

Only thing I notice as getting older (almost 60) is night driving. Especially all the new cars with such bright lights that seem to be frequently out of adjustment. Near blinding for short time on the two lanes.

+1 on the night driving, blinding headlights. Unfortunately, I've heard it not just a case of out of adjustment - newer technologies (Xenon, LED, etc.) are just plain brighter. Plus more elevated vehicles on the road, like SUV's and pick-ups that place the headlights at your eye level if you're in a car. Add lots of rolling hills and you get a lot of severe blinding situations.

I'm like, if you can't beat em, join em on this - will use our newer SUV with high-tech LED/Xenons on auto-dim feature for night driving on dark winding rural roads.

 

[OldShooter]

Multiple comments on night driving here. A couple of things I have learned:

As we age we need close-vision glasses (presbyopia), our high-frequency hearing deteriorates and the pupils in our eyes can't dilate as much as they did when we were younger. Smaller pupil = less light admitted = darker nights. There's not much we can do about this.

The other thing, which happened to me but does not happen to everyone, is droopy eyelids. My PCP looked at me one day and suggested that I make an appointment with an eyelid specialist surgeon. Once he pointed out the problem it was easy to see looking in a mirror. In moderate to lower light situations, my eyelids were blocking maybe 1/4 of my pupils, further reducing the light entering and making my nights darker yet. It was a simple and quick surgery and made a huge difference. I'll recommend to any oldster that they check for eyelid droop and, if necessary, get it fixed. Apparently some people even need the surgery more than once. In my case I had it done maybe 5 years ago and have not seen the symptoms again.

 

[aja8888]

Multiple comments on night driving here. A couple of things I have learned:

As we age we need close-vision glasses (presbyopia), our high-frequency hearing deteriorates and the pupils in our eyes can't dilate as much as they did when we were younger. Smaller pupil = less light admitted = darker nights. There's not much we can do about this.

The other thing, which happened to me but does not happen to everyone, is droopy eyelids. My PCP looked at me one day and suggested that I make an appointment with an eyelid specialist surgeon. Once he pointed out the problem it was easy to see looking in a mirror. In moderate to lower light situations, my eyelids were blocking maybe 1/4 of my pupils, further reducing the light entering and making my nights darker yet. It was a simple and quick surgery and made a huge difference. I'll recommend to any oldster that they check for eyelid droop and, if necessary, get it fixed. Apparently some people even need the surgery more than once. In my case I had it done maybe 5 years ago and have not seen the symptoms again.

While you are at it, get the floppy skin under your chin tightened up too!

 

[FIYes]

When I think of highways, I’m referring to congested interstate traffic with many large trucks. A divided highway with a low volume of traffic can be quite pleasant, but those are few. No need to build a big highway like that unless there is traffic.

Merging from ramps…many years ago I had a seriously underpowered Ford Escort. It made merging onto highways nerve wracking. I think that car could do 0 to 60 in ten minutes. It also had an alternator issue. I had three alternators replaced….all under warranty. I was so glad to get rid of that car.

 

[OldShooter]

While you are at it, get the floppy skin under your chin tightened up too!

I think they charge extra for that! Much bigger job.

 

[djsander]

If you really want to learn how to drive safely, take the course that over the road truck drivers take.

I did it years ago, and it changed my driving style forever. Learn to anticipate what's ahead and what those nutty drivers may do that can put you in a bad spot. At my age (80), and still driving long distances on highways, I still practice laying back in the pack and watching for the actions of other drivers.

We had defensive driving every two years where I retired from due to driving a company vehicle everyday. The instructor had taught truck drivers so we had a lot of that information, scan the road ahead, constantly check the mirrors, etc. We even had to take a driving test as part of this. I think it made me more aware as you said which increases my paranoia over all the really bad drivers out there. The ones that cut in and out of traffic, tailgate, make the left turn when you are still in the intersection so that if you had to brake they would hit you. I used to love driving, now its not as pleasant and it seems like it’s every person for themselves, no regard for the other drivers and the cell phone use is part of driving.

 

[ERD50]

... The instructor had taught truck drivers so we had a lot of that information, scan the road ahead, constantly check the mirrors, etc. ...

Related to this, after teaching three kids to drive, I later realized I was doing it all wrong.

What I should have done, and recommend to others is, at least 6 months prior to getting behind the wheel, have the kid sit in the passenger seat while you say out loud all the things you are watching for, just keep a running dialog. Something like:

"I see that car backing out of the driveway ahead, keep an eye on that and be prepared to stop if they don't see us. OK, I'm making a left turn, look ahead so you see exactly which lane you need to turn into, stay to the right of that median! Watch for traffic from all sides. etc, etc"

This way, the kid will already know a lot about the process of safe driving, and when they get behind the wheel, they only need to learn how to control the vehicle, instead of trying to control it, and learn all this other stuff at the same time, which is overwhelming for most.

The things that seem obvious and are second nature to us after years of driving are not obvious to a new driver. We don't even think about them, that's why I say to talk all of this right out loud, so they hear it. They need all the help they can get. Don't assume they know anything at all.

-ERD50

 

[Teacher Terry]

I am 69 and no longer fond of freeway driving. I get on it occasionally just to keep my skills up. The last cross country trip I took was 5 years ago and had someone to share the driving. Now I fly or take the train. Night driving isn’t fun because of the glare so I don’t do much of it.

 

[djsander]

Related to this, after teaching three kids to drive, I later realized I was doing it all wrong.

What I should have done, and recommend to others is, at least 6 months prior to getting behind the wheel, have the kid sit in the passenger seat while you say out loud all the things you are watching for, just keep a running dialog. Something like:

"I see that car backing out of the driveway ahead, keep an eye on that and be prepared to stop if they don't see us. OK, I'm making a left turn, look ahead so you see exactly which lane you need to turn into, stay to the right of that median! Watch for traffic from all sides. etc, etc"

This way, the kid will already know a lot about the process of safe driving, and when they get behind the wheel, they only need to learn how to control the vehicle, instead of trying to control it, and learn all this other stuff at the same time, which is overwhelming for most.

The things that seem obvious and are second nature to us after years of driving are not obvious to a new driver. We don't even think about them, that's why I say to talk all of this right out loud, so they hear it. They need all the help they can get. Don't assume they know anything at all.

-ERD50

That’s what we were required to do during the drive portion of our defensive driving class at the job. Even as a very longtime driver it still clicked on a lot of things that were going on as we took our driving test and made us even more aware. I also, received $8/year off my car insurance.

 

[razztazz]

Who has it and how have you overcome it? Any advice welcome!

I am taking this to mean interstate highways. Not just busy city streets or state roads everybody takes to their bedroom communities. The roads that all start with the letter "I"

Just start driving on them. After rush hour or maybe weekends in the early hours before anybody is up. Do that a few times a week maybe changing the time to see different traffic patterns.

About 7 years ago I had to make some runs about 500 miles from where I live. ALL on I-80 and I-35 in Minnesota through Minn and St Paul. I hadn't done much "I" driving in several years and I was approaching 60 yrs old and was not real comfortable knowing my reflexes weren't what they used to be. I started early when traffic was slow and about two hours later I was totally in the groove. Yes, it got a little "exciting" going through Minne and St Paul but by then the road didn't seem so big, the speeds didn't seem so fast, and traffic didn't seem so dense. In fact the open road portion of the drive was the easy part. Running through the big towns was the dicey part.

 

[Ronstar]

No fear driving, but I get nervous driving interstate roads that are a solid sheet of ice, high winds, with semi trucks jackknifing all over the place.

 

[More Cowbell]

If you really want to learn how to drive safely, take the course that over the road truck drivers take.

I did it years ago, and it changed my driving style forever. Learn to anticipate what's ahead and what those nutty drivers may do that can put you in a bad spot. At my age (80), and still driving long distances on highways, I still practice laying back in the pack and watching for the actions of other drivers.

I’m with aja8888 here on the value of driving school. I’ve taken some week-long driving schools plus weekend workshops. Learn on the school’s cars, then practice on your own ride.

Perhaps consider a behind-the-wheel defensive driving course, your vehicle manufacturer may offer one. There are also classes for mature drivers. Some driving schools are held in vacation destinations. Not cheap, but more fun than therapy! Definitely more fun than high school driver’s ed classes ever were.

Many school districts no longer offer driver’s ed classes. So it is wise to be wary. Arm yourself with knowledge, and optimize factors that are within your control.

 

[RetiredHappy]

When I was in my 20s and 30s, I used to switch lanes and overtake slower drivers frequently, but not recklessly. Work was stressful and it just bled into other aspects of life.

Now that I am retired, I am not trying to overtake slower drivers as frequently, which I put it down to being more mellowed. No issue with highway driving, but I have become more patient.