DW's engagement/wedding ring

[aja8888]

DW passed a year ago and I still have her engagement/wedding ring.

Our plan was to give it to her only granddaughter (my step-granddaughter) who is now 27 years old. Well, I offered it to her, but she declined and said it’s best for me to keep it. She’s a minimalist and didn’t feel that she could do anything with the ring except put it away. She’s single and not planning on marriage or having kids of her own. She does have a boyfriend, but no plans going forward.

So, I have this ring in my safe and don’t know what to do with it, if anything. It’s quite nice and loaded with small diamonds and a large (1 carat) one in the center. The picture does not do it justice.

DW’s two adult daughters have shown no interest in wanting it. Neither has my daughter.

So, I am kind of at a loss as to what to do with this expensive ring. Any suggestions?

 

[old medic]

We just had a local news story about someone dropping a wedding ring set into a Salvation Army Kettle.

 

[disneysteve]

Might your granddaughter be interested in a piece of jewelry that incorporates one or more of the stones from the ring, rather than the ring itself?


My wife was engaged to someone before me and they broke it off but she kept the ring. Years later we had the stone removed and set in a pendant and sold the gold to help offset the cost. Maybe your granddaughter would like a pendant or bracelet made using those stones.

 

[aja8888]

We just had a local news story about someone dropping a wedding ring set into a Salvation Army Kettle.

LOL, I wonder where that ring will end up?

 

[Sunset]

I can only think since nobody wants it, that selling it is your best option.

 

[Sue J]

That's too bad that no one wants it.

My engagement ring was my husband's grandmother's ring from 1925. She was widowed quite young and put away her rings. DH was her oldest grandchild and she offered it to him for me. I loved the setting (very Edwardian) and cherish it.

The last time we made a will I left it to my oldest son. He's single, but he does appreciate family history and heirlooms.

After my parents died my sister and I had their wedding rings. Neither of us liked Mom's wedding band (a 1970's upgrade from her 1950's original) and it was missing some of the smaller diamonds. Dad's wedding band was a plain gold band. When my son made plans to go to Beijing, China to get married we sold Mom's ring and gave him the money for his bride's wedding band. We gave him Dad's ring and it's now his wedding band.

 

[mystang52]

Sure seems like the best course is to sell it. Be warned, however, that selling jewelry often yields a lot less than one's expectations (especially when comparing what it would cost to buy it).

 

[iloveyoga]

Someone might change their mind later. It is a beautiful ring.

 

[aja8888]

Someone might change their mind later. It is a beautiful ring.

Yes, that's why I still have it. I thought about selling it or having the diamonds removed and put into another type of piece like a broach, but what would I do with that?

 

[pacergal]

Would your granddaughter wear a necklace?
Perhaps a jeweler could create a one of a kind piece that she would wear?
Or would your daughter wear a piece of jewelry made from the stones?

If you are unable to find a family member who would want it, perhaps sell it and donate the proceeds in honor of your wife?

Thinking of you aja888, sentimental items are the hardest to dispose of.

 

[disneysteve]

Yes, that's why I still have it. I thought about selling it or having the diamonds removed and put into another type of piece like a broach, but what would I do with that?

You mentioned 3 daughters and a granddaughter. Don’t any of them wear jewelry? Earrings, necklaces, bracelets? You could have the stones from the ring set into any of those things.

That said, I’d there’s really nobody who would appreciate having anything, sell it. You could do that and share the proceeds with them instead.

 

[aja8888]

Would your granddaughter wear a necklace?
Perhaps a jeweler could create a one of a kind piece that she would wear?
Or would your daughter wear a piece of jewelry made from the stones?

If you are unable to find a family member who would want it, perhaps sell it and donate the proceeds in honor of your wife?

Thinking of you aja888, sentimental items are the hardest to dispose of.

I think after Christmas I will ask the granddaughter if that would work for her, but knowing her, I doubt it would. I'll ask my daughter next. Good thoughts!

On another note, it's surprising to me how members of my (maybe a lot of?) "extended" family seem to have gone silent after the spouse passes. At first, her three kids and three grandkids were around to help me get over the grief, but a few months later, crickets. Only one daughter has periodically been in contact with me (last time early October) and the rest...silence. But they have their own families and lives, so I somewhat understand. And that could be the topic for another thread.

 

[Aerides]

First I'd get it appraised and the stones weighed, etc. But hold onto it, if only for sentimental reasons, perhaps later, someone would prefer to keep Mom's/Grandma's ring. Even if they wouldn't wear it, in time they might change their mind.

 

[CRLLS]

Yes, that's why I still have it. I thought about selling it or having the diamonds removed and put into another type of piece like a broach, but what would I do with that?

Does it mean anything to you? If not, then simply sell it to a jeweler. If it has meaning, perhaps a remounting of the diamond into a man's ring could be done.

Long story: My DM's engagement ring was willed to my DW. The ring was worn too thin for DW to wear comfortably or safely. We had the diamond and the mount cut free and attached to a wide gold band which she wore for years. About 7 years ago, DS asked if he could have the diamond for an engagement ring. "Of course", DW said yes. His now-wife loved the family history of the stone. It meant a lot to her. The wide band and mount was returned to DW and put in her jewelry drawer. A couple of years later, I had a nice Garnet placed in the setting. DW was thrilled.

This year, DW wanted a nice big diamond to celebrate our 50th. Who am I to deny 50 years of putting up with me? It was time to blow that dough. There was now no place on her fingers for the original engagement ring that I gave her way back when. The old engagement ring's diamond was removed and, along with a few smaller diamonds and blue sapphires from another ring, was made into a custom teardrop pendant. The jeweler used the gold from both rings to make the new pendant. Win-Win.

To some people the stone is more important than the setting. Both can be used to make something new that suits the wearer, male or female.

 

[Souschef]

We had a similar situation. We were both widowed, and we took my wife;s engagement ring and a heavy bracelet of mine and had it turned into a pendant.
Discuss it with your daughters and see if there is anything they would like.

 

[aja8888]

We had a similar situation. We were both widowed, and we took my wife;s engagement ring and a heavy bracelet of mine and had it turned into a pendant.
Discuss it with your daughters and see if there is anything they would like.

Wow, that's beautiful!

I should probably have this kind of discussion with the GD and the daughters. It is very sentimental to me as DW loved the ring.

 

[Silver]

Do you have a male relative that could use it as an engagement ring in the future? It is lovely, and having something from his family may be greatly valued by a newly engaged bride.

 

[ksr]

I think it would be lovely to make several small pendants from the diamonds, perhaps one for each of the women. If they aren't interested in that right now, you could just hold onto it as their interest might change in the future. It sounds like that ring holds a lot of sentiment, and they might want something of it eventually.

Unfortunately, selling jewelry doesn't usually net you anywhere near what the piece is worth. I'd hang onto it for a while and see if interest changes.

 

[aja8888]

Do you have a male relative that could use it as an engagement ring in the future? It is lovely, and having something from his family may be greatly valued by a newly engaged bride.

Good thought, but no, as our family is small and all the young males are married. The ones that aren't are toddlers or very young.

 

[ivinsfan]

I might just put it in a drawer and look at it when feeling sentimental about DW. You'd be shocked by how little money you are offered for it. To those of you saying jewelry store, you need to say pawn shop. My hubby bought me a set for our 45th which is a old fashioned set like yours.. gold, a one caret diamond with smaller sapphires and a matching band with stones, 1100 bucks. Pawn shop....


Now if you like the idea of someone in pinch for money getting a beautiful wedding set and having your story live on, take it to a nice pawnshop.

 

[MichaelB]

Would your granddaughter wear a necklace?
Perhaps a jeweler could create a one of a kind piece that she would wear?
Or would your daughter wear a piece of jewelry made from the stones?

If you are unable to find a family member who would want it, perhaps sell it and donate the proceeds in honor of your wife?

Thinking of you aja888, sentimental items are the hardest to dispose of.

I think those are 2 very good options.

On another note, it's surprising to me how members of my (maybe a lot of?) "extended" family seem to have gone silent after the spouse passes. At first, her three kids and three grandkids were around to help me get over the grief, but a few months later, crickets. Only one daughter has periodically been in contact with me (last time early October) and the rest...silence. But they have their own families and lives, so I somewhat understand. And that could be the topic for another thread.

That happened with my sister after her husband passed away. At least it tells you who the real friends are.

 

[Al18]

You may want to get it appraised and hang onto it until you think of a good cause to donate it in your wife’s memory

 

[aja8888]

That happened with my sister after her husband passed away. At least it tells you who the real friends are.

Yes, a real eye opener, for sure, but I didn't expect much anyway.

 

[marko]

The only thing I wouldn't do is sell it or give to someone you don't know (like a charity).

It meant a lot to her and obviously to you. If no one in the family wants it or its pieces, I'd maybe put it in a frame or small domed glass display as a precious memory. Maybe have it buried with you when the time comes...(that's what I'd do)

Other things, sure, but a wedding ring to me is something entirely different.

Just one man's opinion.

 

[MarieIG]

I wouldn't do anything just this moment - but would think it over for a bit. There's no rush, the ring is special to you, and certainly doesn't take up much space.

I like the idea of having multiple pendants made from it - one for each daughter and the granddaughter. in memory of your DW. (You may have to add a little gold.)

I would reach out to the steps on Christmas Eve to wish them a happy holiday - whether or not they deserve it. In other words, keep the door open.