At least you could use a paperweight to bludgeon the idiot who came up with that stupid idea...
good one!
A few of the favorites I can recall from my 23 years of working:
When my company announced it was relocating from New York to New Jersey, thereby worsening the commute of most of its employees (including me), there was an article in the company newsletter by someone saying how "wonderful his extra walk was on a sunny and pleasant September morning." UMMMMM, how pleasant would that walk be in the middle of January or July or when it was raining
We all received, "I survived the relocation" mugs. When I retired in 2008, I left that mug at my cubicle. I guess it did not survive my final "relocation" LOL!
Employee satisfaction surveys, a waste on many levels. First, all the paper wasted on producing them (although in later years they were done eon line). Then, the time spent compiling them. Then, more paper wasted on printing up the results including comparisons between each department and the company average. Then, rounding everyone up by department to have staff meetings run by each department head explaining the results. Then, nothing would happen to change anything. Then, a few years later, the cycle repeats.
Closer to home, I became annoyed when my company would not offer me eligibility for its group health plan after I reduced my weekly work hours from 20 to 12 in 2007 (and I offered to pay 100% of the premiums). They told me it was for fiscal reasons, as I was now in a group of "high-risk" employees who work few hours per week. However, I pointed out to HR that the company provided
subsidized health insurance for hundreds of older retirees as well as spouses and children of covered employees, none of whom actually WORKED for the company. And they cried poverty? I made sure to let the HR underling know this in my EXIT interview (another waste of time but good for venting) as a secondary reason for my resignation of this 23-year employee (the commute with its "pleasant" walk was the first reason).