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Yes this is how I feel! Seeing what you wrote, I never thought of it that way. I guess I don't feel comfortable seeking a therapist. I have brought it up in the past to my wife and she acted like I was crazy. I guess right now I feel the need to be the rock for my family and feel like...

So your advice would be to get in a time machine and reverse my life because I have a personality conflict with my wife? Actually after reading several other people's constructive advice I feel a lot better that this is a minor bump in our relationship. Thank you very much for your "helpful"...

Let me clarify as a few people may have misunderstood me. I do not currently (and should not) relax. Ever. I have 2 young kids, trust me i dont need to be reminded that there is a lot to do, 24 hrs a day. This is the life i have chosen and i own that. I work weird hours and come home to...

Hello all. A huge part of FIRE planning is deciding how you want to spend that time, or at least that's what I've gathered here over the years. I'm only 29, going on 30. With my current plans, I should be eligible for retirement at age 50, and I can decide if I want to keep working or not at...

Hey! I meet the very tail end of this. I'm 29, 30 this year. I plan to retire and will be eligible in 2037 from my job as an air traffic controller with the FAA. Praying my pension benefits remain the same or at least that I am grandfathered in any changes to federal retirement plans. This...

Hey I am a federal employee as well. Look into deferred retirement. It may allow you to leave federal service much earlier and still have your pension waiting for you at Age 62 or your minimum retirement age (most likely 57). EDIT: You would not be eligible for health care under this option...

Become an air traffic controller. Most of us make close to or over $100,000. Federal pension and TSP and many other benefits. No degree required. 8 hour days (10 max), and you never take your work home with you. Just a thought.

Thanks everyone! I just paid off the nearly $7,000 on one card and have started automatic payments to have the 0% interest card paid off in full before the end of the 21 month promotional period. Having everyone here agree that that was the right move pushed me enough to do it. Now I see that...

This is spot on. Couldn't have said it better.

I work with a bunch of people who all are required to retire early due to regulation. Even in that category there are some who couldn't imagine being done working in their late 40's-mid 50's. Blows my mind. I tell them I just want the means to be able to stop working by 50. If I'm still...

Hello everyone. I have been an avid follower and occasional poster on the forum. Recently we have had a few life changes and I'm not sure exactly what direction I'd like to go so I thought I'd post here to get the community's viewpoint. I'm 29, married with 2 boys age 2 and younger. I'm a...

This perspective helps a ton! Thank you. This is exactly how I feel most days with two under 2. Despite a stressful job, I dread going home and don't necessarily look forward to weekends, most of the time because it is like walking into a war zone. I've always hoped that that changes when...

To the person who suggested we stop the myth that having children is easy and the best thing that can happen, I had to laugh. Although a lot of truth in that, the human race may become extinct very quickly!

Wow so much great advice! Thank you so much to everyone. After hearing everyone's advice I think it boils down to the stage of life we are in with two very little kids. We ARE in survival mode but we are working better lately as a team. I got her to accept that she needs a break every once...

This literally describes the majority of individuals in air traffic control. We are a weird group of people. Thank you to everyone for your advice. Writing this and reading your advice and replies has been, in a way, therapeutic. I think it boils down us being in a very stressful time in our...

No that would no affect my medical clearance. My wife would think I'm crazy, though. And would, maybe rightfully so, be angry at the extra time I am taking for myself instead of helping out at home.

She is extremely STUBBORN to the point of exhaustion. Always has been. Which is how I think I've got to the point where I don't know what else to do. I try to explain how I feel to her, I ask for counseling, I do everything I can to help her out and give her a break, but I get nothing in return.

Thanks everybody. I think my mind is a bit cluttered right now and I'm sometimes having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We do have 2 kids under 2. Kuddos to those who did the background check to find that out. We don't have a free second to ourselves let alone to each...

Looking for advice. I daydream about divorce. Literally. My wife and I are going through a bit of a rough patch but it is more than that. I think I genuinely enjoy being alone. I am very introverted by nature, she is not. We have been together since age 16 (28 now, married since 22). We...

Air traffic controller for the Federal Aviation Admin. Did ATC for about 4 years in the USAF and got out and was immediately selected into the FAA. Gross about $82,000/yr now with shift differentials but accepting a transfer soon closer to family at a much larger airport. Should start around...

My wife and I moved away from family about 5 years ago when I joined the military. I got out last year and got a job only a couple hours away but it has still always felt temporary in my head like we are just trying to get back to our hometown. We now have the opportunity for me to take a job...

I work a lot of shift work, so my hours rarely align with normal traffic flows, but it is not generally in a large city. All highway, any traffic usually only adds a 5-10 minute delay during rush hour, otherwise it is a smooth 75 mph. It is about 52 miles though.

We are also considering renting for a year there to see if it is tolerable. I just hate the idea of moving twice (once into the rentla, and again into a homoe we buy).

I will soon be transfering to a new location for my job. The job itself would be about a 50 minute drive on most days (all highway) from my hometown where both families (my wife and my own) live. We haven't lived close to family in the last 5 years and it would be really nice to be that close to...

No VSP. Wasn't even eligible. Just normal separation.