After I'm Gone

[ychuck46]

Same difficulty I have. At 70 I still make all the investing decisions; my DW has zero interest in it, basically saying "do we have enough to get by? Great!". I have tried to make things somewhat easier by consolidating some accounts into Vanguard such as her workplace 457 plan, but I still do individual trading and have other accounts with high dividend paying stocks only. We moved everything into a revocable trust so that helps a little, but I have no doubt our only child will step into the void if I check out before her, since she listened to me more over the years (the wife's eyes would just glaze over, frankly) when I discussed investing and finances in general.

 

[target2019]

I find that I am asking myself the following question more frequently as the days count down. "Is this portfolio really simplified enough?"

 

[Koolau]

DW has little interest in our investments and I can't seem to get her much past "Do we have enough?" So, I'm trying to simplify and put together a note book for when I'm gone. She should have enough insurance money from me that she'll have time to figure it all out by the time she needs to. She's very smart - just not motivated. When I'm gone, I'm sure she'll get motivated.

 

[TheWizard]

I find that I am asking myself the following question more frequently as the days count down. "Is this portfolio really simplified enough?"

The answer is probably yes.
Unless you have money spread around at a dozen different institutions in hundreds of different investments...

 

[Onda]

I do not worry about money. I worry about loneliness after losing a spouse no matter who dies first.

 

[mystang52]

I do not worry about money. I worry about loneliness after losing a spouse no matter who dies first.

A valid point, but one cannot ignore the very important part of family finances. If one spouse is not aware, at the least, of where the money is, insurance coverages etc., then it's an important and loving act to have some quick read/ go-to source for that information.

 

[Koolau]

A valid point, but one cannot ignore the very important part of family finances. If one spouse is not aware, at the least, of where the money is, insurance coverages etc., then it's an important and loving act to have some quick read/ go-to source for that information.

Agreed. Loneliness is important and may be difficult to deal with. Having financial issues that could have been prevented will add another dimension to the loneliness. The financial issues are preventable while the loneliness may not be. We fix what we can before the need arises. YMMV

 

[aja8888]

I do not worry about money. I worry about loneliness after losing a spouse no matter who dies first.

I'm still going thru that now as DW passed a year+ ago. Even with a dog to keep me company, I still have bouts of lonely periods, especially at night. Never mind the fact that our married friends don't really call me for any get togethers anymore.

Staying active and busy helps, but it's not the same. Oh well, soon I will be gone too and then I won't be lonely anymore.

Starting a new life at this age (80) without your long time partner is difficult to express how hard it is.

 

[Finance Dave]

I do our planning. We just went through our 3rd estate planning iteration. Part of that was "letter to my surviving spouse", which we each wrote to the other. Within that I gave a 1 page summary of how she should manage finances. Fortunately I have a younger brother who is good with things and he can help her if needed. We also have a FIDO CFP if she needs his help, but we rarely use him today. My letter to her says something like below. Is this perfect? No. But is it simple and will it get the job done...yes.

Spousal letter
Upon my passing, get my brother or the CFP to do a one-time rebalancing to the below...

xx% IVV
xx% VTWO
xx% RSP
xx% ACWI
xx% FBND
xx% 5 year CD ladder or US Treasuries

Keep the equities in the Roth, and buy the bonds and CDs in the TIRA or brokerage as much as possible, this is the most tax-efficient.

Each year in the fall, determine your RMD and take that out of the TIRA from cash where a CD has recently matured.
Ask my brother if you should take out more than the RMD from the TIRA to get to the top of a low tax bracket.
Determine how much more you need to live and take the rest from either the Roth or the joint investment account

Once done, rebalance to the above numbers again

keep about 6 months expenses in checking

Slowly over time, reduce the % in stocks and increase the % in the CD ladder.

My wife and I sit down once a year and spend about 2-3 hours going over ALL our finances including net worth, portfolio, growth, budget, etc. ....so she's fairly up-to-date on what's going on all the time.

 

[Onda]

A valid point, but one cannot ignore the very important part of family finances. If one spouse is not aware, at the least, of where the money is, insurance coverages etc., then it's an important and loving act to have some quick read/ go-to source for that information.

I agree. Really, what I am saying is that there are much bigger problems to deal with than money.

 

[big-papa]

I have an "if I go first" document for my wife. I did it in powerpoint form for easy reading. Outside of the pages of "what is where" and "who to contact", the salient points are
1. Hire an accountant for taxes. I do them myself today and she's there to review it all with me before I file, but it's probably just best for her to have a accountant take over that if I go first.
2. Once she starts medicare, then she should just reimburse herself from the HSA until it's depleted
3. I stopped rebalancing when I retired. I created a special, easy to use spreadsheet for her to calculate withdrawals individually from each account/asset. Basically a lookup table that is similar to VPW described over on bogleheads.

Except for our checking/savings at our credit union, everything is now at Fidelity. Some things are currently "in progress" to simplify so the document gets updated to reflect those things once they're in place. For example, the 401K at my last employer gets rolled over in late June/early July after my final true-up is made. If those things aren't in place and I go first, then she has instructions for what to do. We've reviewed it all; she understands it.

Will review with our daughter and give her access to the online copy as well soon.

Cheers.

 

[jebmke]

I have an "if I go first" document for my wife. I did it in powerpoint form for easy reading. Outside of the pages of "what is where" and "who to contact", the salient points are
1. Hire an accountant for taxes. I do them myself today and she's there to review it all with me before I file, but it's probably just best for her to have a accountant take over that if I go first.
2. Once she starts medicare, then she should just reimburse herself from the HSA until it's depleted
3. I stopped rebalancing when I retired. I created a special, easy to use spreadsheet for her to calculate withdrawals individually from each account/asset. Basically a lookup table that is similar to VPW described over on bogleheads.

Except for our checking/savings at our credit union, everything is now at Fidelity. Some things are currently "in progress" to simplify so the document gets updated to reflect those things once they're in place. For example, the 401K at my last employer gets rolled over in late June/early July after my final true-up is made. If those things aren't in place and I go first, then she has instructions for what to do. We've reviewed it all; she understands it.

Will review with our daughter and give her access to the online copy as well soon.

Cheers.

You are on the same path I am. I've taken a couple of steps ahead of you. I have already identified the account to do the taxes. Also, a while back I decided to flush the HSA and get that behind us -- it just wasn't a big deal.

 

[big-papa]

You are on the same path I am. I've taken a couple of steps ahead of you. I have already identified the account to do the taxes. Also, a while back I decided to flush the HSA and get that behind us -- it just wasn't a big deal.

Yeah, I hear ya. Only my last employer before retirement had an HSA-eligible healthcare plan. So the amount I could invest over the years was limited. Now, I've kept all receipts, but honestly I can't imagine going back through all of those and reimbursing ourselves for them. Reimbursing ourselves for medicare (and a portion of LTCi premiums) seems a sensible path and will eventually empty it before our expected lifetimes.

Cheers.

 

[jayanu]

All,

I spend much of my financial-thinking time on - after I'm gone. How will my wife manage her finances. Like most of you, I do it myself today. There will come a time when either I can't do it or I'm not here to do it. What then? I'm not a fan of paying for a financial planner but I don't know if she has the interest in doing it herself. She has participated in the planning the last couple of years, but I manage things at a very detailed level that she won't have to and I think it makes it seem too overwhelming. I have tried to simplify over the years to make it easier for her. I have reduced to a single provider (Vanguard) and reduced to 8 funds (the four corners of the 9 squares of size vs growth/value for US and International). Plus Fixed Income and Cash. That gives 10 asset classes that have to be rebalanced each year. But then there are 4 accounts (Brokerage, Traditional IRA, Inherited IRA, ROTH IRA) that have to be considered in that rebalancing. There is cash flow planning to cover at least a 5 year horizon due Fixed Asset ladder (CDs in our case). And Withdrawal planning (which accounts to pull from), which, is pretty set now as we get close to RMD land. But she has to choose a withdrawal level for the year considering performance (account balances) and CPI in concert with needs planning.

Over the years I have developed 3 different generations of spreadsheets to do this. Each getting sequentially simpler. But the current version has 7 main tabs: Introduction & Instructions, Current Assets, Annual Monthly Planning, Withdrawal Planning, Available Cash Planning, Asset Allocation (This is pretty set), and Rebalance. She can, with a little assistance, do this now (we've had to go to monthly walk throughs as an annual walk through was difficult to recall). But what happens when there is something non-standard or the speadsheet fails or becomes outdated?

So at this point I either have to realize that this is a bridge to far, get even simpler, figure out a way to connect her to a fee-only planner that is content to wait maybe years, or lately I have been considering involving one or all of our kids (I would pay them to do this and they have the ability). I really don't know what to do.

What do you plan to do or actually do? I would especially like to hear from the spouse that had to take over or maybe an offspring who took over for a parent. What worked or didn't work for you? This has to be a very common occurrence for this group of self-money managers.

We also simplified - Everything with Fidelity. Wife does some trading as a hobby, except that everything Fidelity manages. The fee is <0.5%. We are in aggressive mode. We kept wife's IRA a little less aggressive, and we use that for living funds. I converted mots of mine to Roth over the years to leave that tax-free for the children. I have no interest in financial issues, we get eMoney (Monte Carlo) simulations done twice a year to see how we will fare under various scenarios. I use my time to do things that I did not have time for when I was working! More satisfying than accumulating more money beyond our need, as long as we can do charity and live some for the children, then I am OK. We did plan for the possible Black Swan event of Long Term Care. We moved into a top tier Type-A CCRC where we will get medical help of assisted living, skilled nursing, dementia, hospices etc. as part of the monthly expense. As one ages, this Black Swan can be dangerous!

 

[Gallaher]

I switched from self managed to an FA last September because I know DW would need an FA to get by on her own. Same FA that DW's mom has used for decades, and we have known him for several years. Very comfortable in my switch. I could drop dead at any time and she would have no problem going forward financially.

Me too! CFPs are not favored around here. But my wife has no interest in financial management.

 

[iloveyoga]

I did not think about tax preparation! I have always done our taxes, so for the first time I am wondering if I should get an accountant set up now for this, I will have to think about that. Our taxes are pretty straight forward and I have kept good records. I guess my son would just have to add it to his list.

 

[jebmke]

I did not think about tax preparation! I have always done our taxes, so for the first time I am wondering if I should get an accountant set up now for this, I will have to think about that. Our taxes are pretty straight forward and I have kept good records. I guess my son would just have to add it to his list.

I do our taxes but I have identified a firm to pick up the task if I am no longer willing or able.

 

[fisherman]

I handle day to day finances and my husband is not as detail oriented as me. In terms of investments, he used to be very good at it but these days, he would not do anything unless I sit with him to go through it together. I think it's because he is getting older that he is getting a bit more cautious or tentative.

I am working on putting together details of all accounts and bills that need to be paid. I am not concerned about his ability to continue to manage his investments.

My biggest concern is that I am leaving all my taxable investments to my son and he won't and can't manage investments. He is someone who prefers to put all his money under his pillow. I am trying my best to get him out of that mindset. He has high functioning autism and hence his personality in being risk adverse and hates changes. Down the road I plan on taking about half the taxable investments and buying deferred income annuities in his name so that he gets an income stream.

I too have a high functioning Autistic son and really like this idea.