Are You A Christmas Scrooge?

I appreciated family more when I was faced with a life threatening disease some years ago. The hospital had info on some support groups which I did not need; I had my own family support. My children also get together well with their cousins. We enjoy the few times we get together each year. It helps that we are all in town.
 
My grandmother loved Christmas. Her house (now our house) was like a winter wonderland complete with 4 or 5 indoor Christmas trees, the house all lit up, candles in every window, on and on! We still have trunks and trunks of her decorations in our basement.

Sadly, we're barely into it at all; a few decorations, no tree. DW is a bit better but for me it's something I have to go through vs enjoy. I don't know why I'm that way and sort of hate myself for it but it's just not a good time for me; each year on the 26th, I feel bad and wish that I could've been more into it.

I do enjoy having our small family over for Christmas dinner but that's about it. DW does go out and overspends for the nieces and nephews even though she promised that once they hit 25 she would stop; she didn't. Her side of the family is large and growing and everyone spends Christmas Eve at BIL's which is just overwhelming and exhausting.

Mom and brother love gift certificates and that's what we exchange which makes it easy but DW hates the idea. Both DW and I are hard to buy for so we always end up with some small, odd set of gifts with about a $200 limit.
 
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The best Xmas I ever spent was going to St Stephens Cathedral in Budapest for Xmas Eve Midnight Mass. As we came out , it started snowing, and DW, who was a California girl, had NEVER seen snow fall.
It was magical. As we came out of the cathedral, there was a car there with snow on its trunk so I did a little graffiti. i can imagine what the owner thought the next day.
 

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We have minimized the amount of gift giving, for reasons many others have mentioned. But we still try to get together with the kids before we head south for the winter. My favorite gift from last year was a poster which apparently is a $10 Walmart thing. It was given to me by a former coworker who globe-trotted the world with me.
 

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Some of the best Christmas days I ever had, were back when I was young and would volunteer to work on Christmas Day so that the older, married co-workers with little kids could get the day off.

It was great! Quiet, nobody there, not much work to do, I got paid for it, and my co-workers were so glad they didn't have to work that day.

Now that we are older, we do our best to avoid holiday parties and such.
 
As a kid, I used to love Christmas. But, as I grew older, the holiday season became one of the most stressful time of the year and I was well on my way to become a Christmas scrooge. From Thanksgiving to New Year, my schedule was packed with more or less enjoyable activities, like corporate Christmas parties, entertaining those demanding in-laws, shopping for that "perfect gift", bringing all the Christmas decorations out of the attic, etc... After my divorce, I realized that most of the stress was self-imposed or based on other people's expectations. I organized my post-divorce life around a single concept: simplify everything. And the holiday season was high on the list. This year, I am enjoying it again.
 
I always make cookies for the holidays and DGF makes Coquito.
We don't buy gifts for each other and do have some lights around but not that much.
Most of our family is up North.
 
We don’t live close to family so DH & I celebrate alone or with close friends most years. I enjoy the season and try not to overcommit and stress out. This year we aren’t decorating at all because we just moved six weeks ago. We usually get a real tree and I will miss that, but from a practical perspective, not decorating is a bit of a relief with all the other chaos in our lives right now.

I love the process of getting thoughtful gifts for others and enjoy wrapping them, as well as unwrapping mine. I think this is because the only people we exchange gifts with are those we have really close relationships with.

I like to cook so usually enjoy cooking a holiday meal, but I mix it up every year and sometimes we go out. This year we are going to a nice hotel/restaurant with friends for a Christmas buffet.
 
Living with cats for the past 20 years kind of rules out decorations and a tree. This year we will have my wife's daughter and her family over for Christmas dinner. So we will get out the Christmas plates from decades ago for their once a year use. She may feel a bit of an obligation because of the holiday too. I'm pretty sure that her husband and grown children feel an obligation to visit the "old folks" except for the gifts (money) they get. Since her daughter only lives about 20 miles away she could see her mother any time she wants.

Now that my wife and I are retired, our parents are gone, and the grandchildren are grown we don't have the multiple family breakfasts, lunches, and dinners to drive all over town to attend. No company parties for me to attend either although my wife has a couple of parties with her tennis groups.
I don't care for the shopping and the traffic and the huge increase in rude, inconsiderate, and angry people either. It is such bizarre behavior to hear them say Merry Christmas while running you over with their shopping carts.
I am more content now enjoying some quiet moments recalling Christmas past with a glass of wine and soft music from the 50s. I do enjoy giving my wife presents but I have fun with that throughout the year. I don't need Christmas to give her a gift.


Cheers!
 
On the subject of simplifying: DS and DDIL have told their kids they'll get something they want, something they need and something that's a surprise. (I think they've downplayed the Santa Claus thing.) The kids have plenty- DDIL's family comes through with lots of stuff and they get things throughout the year.

Last August, I got an e-mail from DDIL asking if I could do them a favor and pick up an American Girl ice cream truck with 80+ pieces that the 5-year old wanted for Christmas. They were $100 at Target but she'd found one for sale for $65 by a family in my town. I got it, stored it at my place for a few months and then put it in their garage (hidden in a large plastic trash bag) last time I was up there. DDIL reimbursed me. I should add that they don't own any American Girl dolls- DDIL and I agree that it's silly to give kids that age dolls that they can't really play with because they're expensive and you might muss their hair and have to take them to the store to get their hair re-styled.

I liked that- it was a compromise (I still think $65 is a lot for a ton of made-in-China plastic but I can see that my granddaughter and her 3-year old sister will get a lot of enjoyment out of it), DDIL started searching early knowing that it might be harder to find near Christmas, and I pitched in with the delivery. Good teamwork.
 
I'm not a Christmas person either mostly because it is over done and to much hype. It really has been a turn off to me even though I'm a Christian. It isn't the money spent on gifts but why so many gifts have to be bought. Why? It doesn't make me any happier if I get one or ten gifts.
 
"Cash is king" what my niece said when I asked her a few years back the best Christmas presents for the kids. We have a big get together, eating, drinking. I give cash cards to my nieces and nephews (we don't have kids). I"d say the food is the most important part, then the cocktails, creative and many. For the most part we like each others company, there's usually 16-20 of us.
 
It's really a matter of whether any thought went into the card. One of my relatives is a widow who is scraping a bit. She loves to get presents, but her house is too small to hold any more knick-knacks. So I sent her several gift cards to a local grocery store, and she was over the moon! I will probably give her more gift cards, for a pet supply place, since she has several animals. If I tried to buy a specific item, it might not be just what she needs.

At work, we got a co-worker who was leaving, a gift card to a sporting goods store. He loved it, and wrote a thank-you telling us how he'd spent the card.

But then someone at work gave me (and others) a $10 Starbucks gift card, which I ended up giving away. We don't go out for coffee and don't like Starbucks anyway. I still liked that the person was giving out gift cards, though. It was a nice thought, and more than most will do for an office.

And of course there are gift cards. I don't think I've ever given one. To me, it's only one step above handing someone cash. I know that cash is more useful than 99% of gifts but it doesn't show much thought.
 
Living with cats for the past 20 years kind of rules out decorations and a tree.
We have 3 foot tall tree that we set on top of a bureau. The cats view it as a cat toy buffet; they pick off their favorite ornaments one by one and throw them around the room. So we don't have any breakable ornaments and we have to pick up a couple from the floor every day, but a good time is had by all creatures great and small.
 
The gifts are bothering me. My nuclear family gave gifts but not in large quantity. I have lived at a distance for many years, but am lucky that some nieces and nephews are happy to welcome me at Christmas, and I usually travel back. I do get them not-too-expensive useful gifts, but I am invited to their extended family gatherings where the gift giving is huge - immense - where I get gifts from people I don't know. I can't do it. I just can't bring myself to buy that many things for people I don't know. I don't expect gifts from them, either. I am thinking of the situation now with some dread, but I'm not going to change. I am happy to be invited and to to be merry and pleasant, but the gifts just overwhelm me. There's so much I don't need!

How to be a positive part of their celebrations without giving in to the gift-giving imperative?
 
I'm not a Christmas person either mostly because it is over done and to much hype. It really has been a turn off to me even though I'm a Christian. It isn't the money spent on gifts but why so many gifts have to be bought. Why? It doesn't make me any happier if I get one or ten gifts.

+1

Retailers have ruined Christmas and now Thanksgiving. For this they deserve piles of my hard earned money? I think not.

The local big fancy mall is grandly decorated this time of year, but it is not decorated for Christmas, IMHO. There is no sign of the tradition or culture (religious or otherwise) of Christmas in the decorations. Really, to me they are celebrating the day of Festivus, the one popularized by a TV show. I don't celebrate Festivus so I don't do much shopping there.

One thing that could get me away from online ordering and back into the mall would be if the experience was a Christmas experience. But, it isn't, so the few gifts I purchase might as well be bought online. I also look for unique gifts items when I travel, and then stash them away until a birthday or Christmas arrives.
 
Sorry if I offend any Christian, but I have long forgotten about Christmas as a religious event.

Aren't you (and most of the others posting in this thread) confusing "Christmas" with "Holiday Season?" For example, the difference between late Christmas Eve shopping at Walmart and attending Christmas Eve church services? Two very different things.

In our neighborhood, the "Holidays" seem to be very popular with non-Christians, agnostics and atheists. Our neighborhood is well decorated, stores and restaurants are pushing the season big time. etc. But I've yet to see even a hint of a religious-orientated decoration. Even the local Protestant church down the street has stopped displaying their nativity scene for fear of offending folks of another cultural heritage. We've gone "Holiday."

Of course, I live in a very diverse, urban area which likely reflects a more heterogeneous cultural makeup than many situations.
 
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My favorite thing about Christmas is shining up my horns and hooves, puting the kids in the burlap sack and beating it with reeds.
 
Christmas on 12/25 was itself commandeered, as many scholars conclude that Jesus wasn’t born in December.

Hard to argue that it’s someone else’s fault that Christmas has been commercialized.
 
Let me cautiously try to put a positive spin on the separation of "holiday spending" from "Christmas." Retailers - not secular people, not alternative religions - long ago claimed real primacy over this holiday, which might as well be entitled "Spending Holiday." By splitting "Christmas" from "Spending Holiday" the special religious significance of the day is better celebrated. That is, it becomes clear that "Christmas" is not "Spending Holiday."

Winter Solstice has long been marked with holidays. I've heard my Jewish friends make the same observation about Hannakuh, that the spending aspect has really distorted the religious aspect.

So, letting "Spending Holiday" spin off on its own lets those celebrating the religious holiday do so without having to weigh in on the issue of "why is spending the centerpiece?"

I noticed that the long-past severance of "Easter" from "Spring Break" actually enhanced the religious character of Easter because it was no longer overwhelmed by Spring Break and plans for same.
 
With respect to Religious observances being different from Holiday festivities, I see nothing wrong with separating them. Those who wish to hold religious ceremonies without holiday fanfare are free to do so.

Still, celebrating holidays with family, food, gifts, decorations is a fun thing, which most people like, and would be sorry if they couldn't do.

As for retailers ruining Christmas: maybe so, but they couldn't have done it without the general public's enthusiastic help. Nobody forces anybody to reach into their wallet and pay for (say) a giant inflatable light-up snowman. In a related example, adult spending on Halloween has exploded in recent decades. It hasn't been that long since Halloween was mainly of interest to children. Did retailers or Chinese manufacturers do this to American society? No, but they detected a trend, which they leaped to supply so they could make a profit.

As for people feeling pressured to give (or reciprocate) lots of (or any) gifts, that has strong elements of peer pressure; we needn't give in to it any further than we are comfortable doing.
 
Bah Humbug:confused:
Not Me, I love the Christmas season! Enjoy the music and movies, and especially enjoy the family time.
I have decreased the decorations and cookie baking from what I did in the past. My favorite decoration every year is assembling the creche.
Our family has decreased the gift giving, but we still have gatherings and small gifts.
Meals are simplified and fun.
I grew up with big holiday traditions, my DH did not. So he has had 45 years to adjust and he has somewhat. He is not as excited as me, but he tolerates the decorations and music.
He does LOVE watching the Grandbabies enjoy all of the Christmas decorations and Santa.
DGS invited Grandpa to church last week and he happily went and enjoyed it.
Merry Christmas to all of you!
 
I have found that I am enjoying this Christmas more than in past years. I think it was a mental decision to not be a Grinch this year, and just keep my mouth shut, and go along with whatever activity the wife/married daughter want to do...because happy wife, happy life !

I know being patient for a few hours during the holidaze get-togethers will buy me some peace later on when I want to something.

I am trying to NOT post in the "pet peeves" thread, and attempting to connect with more people face to face (a hard thing for me).
 
I used to love Xmas when my kids were home. We had a old 3 story house that was all decorated. The kids loved to help. Now I have a 1 ft tree already decorated that sits on a end table. Everything fits in one small box. Every year is different. When my son and his wife are working I either invite people for dinner or we go to dinner and a movie. When they are not working my DIL likes to make us a traditional Xmas eve dinner. We only buy gifts for a couple of people. We have no grandchildren. If I ever get any I will enjoy shopping for them.
 
And did I mention the food?

I'm at the opposite end from Mountainsoft: I love Christmas. I like the food, the music, the decorations, the food, the movies, the gift-giving and the food.

I also love its religious significance, although I know the date on which it is observed is arbitrary. It always cracks me up to watch "Back to the Future" when Dr Emmett Brown tells Marty McFly he could go back in time to witness the birth of Christ and enters Dec-25-0000 into the time machine. :LOL:

However, I'd hate to force it on anybody who doesn't share my enthusiasm. OP's complaint about traditions resonated with me. I've lived long enough to understand that there are lots of traditions out there, nobody does every single one, and all of them evolve over time. Be reassured: it's okay to adopt new ones and swap out some old ones.

I grew up in a house where Christmas dinner was a replica of Thanksgiving, from the turkey to the pumpkin pie. Some 15 years ago, we resurrected a tradition that had been ignored by my family when I was a kid. The Feast of 7 Fishes on Christmas Eve is now my favorite celebration all year. Dinner on Christmas Day is far more relaxed: we haul two casseroles - one red (lasagna) and one green (chicken Florentine) - out of the freezer and pop them in the oven. Very un-complicated.

Also, if facing crowds is dampening your Christmas Spirit, try calling in sick. People will forgive you if you've suddenly developed Montezuma's revenge that you want to keep from spreading.
 
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