Wow, I am getting flashbacks from kickbully.com. This was my daily nightmare until last month:
kickbully - where your fight begins
Wow, this reads like the supervisor's manual on "How to Be a Leader" from my employer.
- Widespread anger and frustration
- Workplace bully is admired
- Scapegoats are always blamed
- Dysfunctional relationships
- Dysfunctional meetings
- Obvious hypocrisy
- Overly restrictive systems
- Incompetent or powerless HR manager
There are two quotes that I will always remember from my career. The one that I heard the first day in the police academy:
"If you don't like the way we do things here, don't let the door slap you in the ass on the way out the door."
And the second from my first day as a supervisor. The guy training me was explaining how we handed out an unpleasant assignment that nobody wanted to do, and to prepare myself for complaints. I asked him if there was a rotation system so that everyone got stuck with it on a fair basis. He looked at me like I was a child and said,
"No, you usually just pick whoever you want to f*%k with that day."
I guess my question is how do I get through the next several months with out killing someone?
It wasn't always a horror show where I worked, but there were places and times when somebody could be targeted for extermination by some vindictive boss who was toxic. My outlook was to not engage in trying to win the fight - because as a subordinate the deck is stacked against you. Taking complaints to the big boss seldom works because they tend to identify with, and support their immediate reports (your boss) over anyone else. Besides, unless you're really good at playing the game, the toxic boss usually is a master at it and you're at a disadvantage.
If you get tough, keep yourself out of the line of fire, and can hold on for a while - you have to consider the possibilities that your boss might get promoted or transferred in the near future. Sucks for the poor people that he will be inflicted upon, but if you can hang tough for a while you might get back to normality. Bosses come and go all the time.
If that's not likely to happen, just concentrate on the truth. He's a miserable prick because he's rotten to the core and very unhappy with his life - and he can't stand to see anyone around him any less miserable than he is. Or he's an unprincipled bastard who would throw his mom under the wheels of the bus if it made him look good. Whatever his motivations, don't let him make your life miserable. Don't show weakness, don't let him know he is getting under your skin - stay calm and remember what's important in life. And other than a paycheck, there is nothing important going on at work. The important stuff is waiting at home, kids who love you, spouse who loves you, or, if you don't have those things in your life- there's always the dog or your goldfish.
During my last year I was in the maelstrom of politics and I got hit by some flak from about five different directions. It bothered me a bit at first, but then I realized - "in a year none of this is crap or these people are going to matter, because I am sooo
out-of-here." I used to draw pictures of sailboats (and dream of sailing in retirement) on my notepad during meetings, or I would endlessly calculate how much bigger my pension was today than it was the day before. Whatever it takes to keep focused on the things that are good and right in your life - that's what you do.
Your real life is not at work, it's out there waiting for you to reconnect with it.