Be honest: Which of your pre-FIRE plans turned out to be coping fantasies?

[FreeBear]

We thought we’d do more volunteering. Actually, we did tons of volunteering at church for several years. It seemed rewarding at the time and gave a sense of purpose.

Recently, we moved far away and don’t do any formal volunteering, just help people we like directly. As for the rest, we just send money.

I’m retrospect, much of our volunteering seems somewhat thankless. We burned out; seemed like w*rk. Probable did too much for too long, just like my career. Glad to be moving on with our lives.

 

[bolt]

The 50s mass media portrayed it a Wonderland park

Anyone from BOS has seen Wonderland*Park and its current redevelopment. This spot was retirement for my uncle.
Its now a state regulated commercial/residental/afforadble development project. Unreal. The .gov approves this or that,.. or not.
I thought Charlie paid for the property!
IIRC the Sarkis family owned it as a dog/horse race track.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08R7C64Q7/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
However, Charlie,.. is well schooled in RE re-development.

Lost Wonderland: The Brief and Brilliant Life of Boston's Wonderland Park media from Amazon. ...A-Lost-Wonderland-Brilliant-...

I have heard from many retirees that their retirement is not the "Wonderland Park" they expected it to be.
I'd suggest folks make pragmatic plans. Read this book too. Plans were made, then a countries culture changed. The Sarkis clan adapted, loosing upside no doubt.

Good luck & Best wishes....

 

[Octogirl]

Pre FIRE plans .........yes, but they have changed.
I planned to quit my job, DH and I would travel in the Airstream, and volunteer at a local Garden. . Then COVID hit. So we have only traveled locally (which has been fun) since March 2020. Leaving the house, getting someone to care for it and the cat is a hassle.
Yes, the plans changed and I am ok with it. Just so happy to be retired !!

 

[Markola]

I know a guy who FIREd in his mid-50s to his hobby farm. He’d been a high level marketing exec for Megacorp. His fantasy crutch was the idea of opening an ice cream shop in a little tourist town near the farm. He studied everything about how to make ice cream and looked at retail space.

Then he FIREd and the whole scheme evaporated instantly. He started taking 6 week long motorcycle trips when it suited him and spending winters down south.

I think when one is working, one is accustomed to trading their time for money and giving most of every day over to w*rk. It’s normal and there seems to be no real alternative, and everyone else you know is doing the same.

Then one quits and takes significant time off. Some climb the walls and don’t know what to do with themselves. For many others, though, it doesn’t take too many months of complete freedom, with next to nothing on the calendar for weeks at a time, before the accountability habit is broken, after which one would rather give a kidney than have a frigging boss, be required to show up somewhere everyday, or even have volunteer responsibilities hanging over them. Anything at all on the calendar is at least a minor annoyance, because it screws the pattern of making every day up as it happens. You have to get ready for, then go do, this thing. I think that’s why THE LIST that was so necessary and liberating at the time, rarely gets looked at again, because it becomes an unwelcome source of pressure to achieve and do.

 

[11522914]

In my case, I think I wanted to simply "be" and not feel any pressure to get specific things done. I wanted to experience the luxury of no commitments, no deadlines, no pressure of any sort, and I think the items on the list—for some reason—did arouse certain feelings of "pressure"

This is definitely me. When people asked at work what am I going to do with all this time, I simply said I will "be".

For some that was a hard concept to understand.

I had all these projects I was going to complete, all this traveling we would do.
Completed very few.

I guess I'm one of those rare individuals that has no issue with just being.

I've been "being" for 2 1/2 years now and not even a moment of boredom.

I was definitely created for retirement.

[emoji16][emoji41]

 

[11522914]

then one quits and takes significant time off. Some climb the walls and don’t know what to do with themselves. For many others, though, it doesn’t take too many months of complete freedom, with next to nothing on the calendar for weeks at a time, before the accountability habit is broken, after which one would rather give a kidney than have a frigging boss, be required to show up somewhere everyday, or even have volunteer responsibilities hanging over them. Anything at all on the calendar is at least a minor annoyance, because it screws the pattern of making every day up as it happens. You have to get ready for, then go do, this thing. I think that’s why the list that was so necessary and liberating at the time, rarely gets looked at again, because it becomes an unwelcome source of pressure to achieve and do.

+10,000

 

[Starsky]

Consulting for sure. (I knew it wouldn't last)

 

[unclemick]

In 1993 age 50 I had no clue what FIRE meant or even that it existed. My plan was to to 'early retire' at age 63' with the proverbial 'one million' in 401k'

Needless to say it's been a wonderful journey ever since - both mentally and physically.

Heh heh heh - ala the Mike Tyson quote - I had a plan until I was layed off.

 

[Reach]

Anything at all on the calendar is at least a minor annoyance, because it screws the pattern of making every day up as it happens.

One of the most enjoyable things about freedom in retirement is letting the day present itself to you!

It's also uniquely wonderful to be able to act on last-minute opportunities both big (travel) and small (meet-ups) without being tied-up in a schedule.

It is also joke with newly retired friends that when there does happen to be a task on a calendar, it's a big deal... "Well, that's a day!"

 

[NW-Bound]

When I was still working, dreamed of living a few years in Europe (Malta had a program for FI retirees).

But by the time I actually pulled the plug, already realized that we wanted to travel to many places, but our heart was still with our long-term home in the US.

We did do a few cross-country RV'ing and Europe road trips of up to 2 months, and that did satisfy the wander lust.

I still want to travel some more before getting too old and having to rely on cruise ships to take me places.

Overall, things kind of happened as I planned, except for this stupid Covid thing. Already missed one long RV trip planned for 2020, and a long Scandinavian trip this year.

With DW fretting about leaving her frail 94-year-old mother alone, I don't know when we can resume travel.

 

[FIREd]

My life today is nothing like I could have imagined when I quit working 11 years ago. But I love it still.

 

[Major Tom]

This is definitely me. When people asked at work what am I going to do with all this time, I simply said I will "be".

For some that was a hard concept to understand.

I had all these projects I was going to complete, all this traveling we would do.
Completed very few.

I guess I'm one of those rare individuals that has no issue with just being.

I've been "being" for 2 1/2 years now and not even a moment of boredom.

I was definitely created for retirement.

My retirement has been very much like this. I did spend the first few years after stopping work, at home, building radios (one of my hobbies). I did that quite intensively for a few years, and got it out of my system. I also bought a campervan, with big plans to tour the country. I spent a fun couple of years working on it, and have taken a few trips in it. However, at this point, I don't think that a lot of traveling on 4 wheels is going to be my thing. I may end up selling it.

Looking back on the last few years, I have spent a lot of time at home, "hanging out", and deriving satisfaction from fairly mundane activities. Quite simply, it doesn't take much to keep me happy, and I'm fine with that.

 

[FLSUnFIRE]

I'm enjoying this thread as I am two weeks out from joining the ranks. I'm hating the question of what will I do. Mostly I go with the assumption they have that I'll work somewhere and mostly answer, something fun and hopefully will get paid for it.



I know this will be an adventure and it's hard to predict how I will feel/act once I'm free. I had started thinking, I'll do a road trip then, this, then that, but at the moment, I don't really want to make any commitments to myself or others other than revising my fitness regimen (cause my health is important) and sleeping a lot the first week. After that, I'll find a routine that works. I have a list of things I enjoy and chores I should/want to do that I can pick from if boredom pops up.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

We thought we’d do more volunteering. Actually, we did tons of volunteering at church for several years. It seemed rewarding at the time and gave a sense of purpose.

Recently, we moved far away and don’t do any formal volunteering, just help people we like directly. As for the rest, we just send money.

I’m retrospect, much of our volunteering seems somewhat thankless. We burned out; seemed like w*rk. Probable did too much for too long, just like my career. Glad to be moving on with our lives.

My main volunteering type activity these days, besides simply donating money, is donating groceries to a food bank one of our friends volunteers at. I can shop for extra groceries whenever I feel like it with no set hours. I kind of had the same experience of most of my attempts at in person volunteer work being kind of thankless.

 

[Shanky]

Among other things, I thought I would be playing high level Amateur golf as a retiree. The reality is different than the fantasy. I have not made it through a single USGA qualifier in 5 years of retirement and my handicap has tripled. I was close to scratch when I was working full time, so I deluded myself in to thinking I would get better when I had more time. I was wrong. Turns out playing and practicing a lot makes you worse….

On the plus side, I have enjoyed all the other aspects of retirement and have no regrets.

 

[cat4ever]

My number one goal was learning guitar and vocals, and six months into FIRE I am sticking to that plan 100%. It's basically taken over all the time I used to spend at work. And although I'm not quite as productive with that time as I was at work with the boss breathing down my neck, I'm enjoying every second of it as opposed to loathing every second.

The other big goal was to buy a vacation home, probably in the smokies, which I'm still working, but do seem to get cold feet whenever I get close to actually pulling the trigger. The crazy real estate market hasn't helped. One other thing hindering the hunt is that I coach 18U baseball so can't get away during the summer to check anything out. That commitment ends in 3 weeks at which point I'll be truly FIREd!!

 

[Closet_Gamer]

This is such an interesting thread for me.

RE is in the headlights. Hard to know if its 18 mos or 48 mos away, but its not 10 years.

The "when I retire list" isn't super long...but it is quite specific.

I always said that I wouldn't have OMY syndrome. Nope, not me. I'm hanging the cleats up right on the schedule I said I would.

And yet, here I'm sailing headlong into OMY syndrome driven by the usual impulses...

... I can put more money in the bank in 12 months than I did in my 30s.
... I worked so hard to get here, do I really want to pull the plug?
... Great people invested a lot in me to get me here...shouldn't I stay and do the same?
... Don't I owe it to society to be productive in some way?

Now you have me wrestling with whether my after retirement list is nonsense!

 

[Markola]

^^^^^^^ Regarding the last three of your four points above, it does take a bit of retooling and intentionality for people who got good at succeeding in organizations, like us both, apparently, i.e. we became very good at delivering on others’ expectations. I’m FIREd for one year and have become aggressive about focusing any accountability on only those people I WANT TO, meaning DW, my elderly parents, my very closest friends, and the appointments I generate myself or that I can’t avoid. It’s really a different outlook and I relish it. I also notice that the rest of the world keeps on turning and stumbling along about the same.

 

[Markola]

The other big goal was to buy a vacation home, probably in the smokies, which I'm still working, but do seem to get cold feet whenever I get close to actually pulling the trigger. The crazy real estate market hasn't helped.

I certainly understand the draw. My .02 is that you were smart to wait on such a big purchase and give yourself a breather to sort out which of your pre-FIRE plans were sticky and which turned out to be fantasy coping crutches.

 

[Scuba]

This is such an interesting thread for me.



RE is in the headlights. Hard to know if its 18 mos or 48 mos away, but its not 10 years.



The "when I retire list" isn't super long...but it is quite specific.



I always said that I wouldn't have OMY syndrome. Nope, not me. I'm hanging the cleats up right on the schedule I said I would.



And yet, here I'm sailing headlong into OMY syndrome driven by the usual impulses...



... I can put more money in the bank in 12 months than I did in my 30s.

... I worked so hard to get here, do I really want to pull the plug?

... Great people invested a lot in me to get me here...shouldn't I stay and do the same?

... Don't I owe it to society to be productive in some way?



Now you have me wrestling with whether my after retirement list is nonsense!

You will always be able to create more wealth by continuing to work. Is that, and the other items on your list, more important to you than spending quality years with your spouse/partner and/or family? That question made it very easy for me to decide to pull the plug on w*rk exactly when I planned, and not a moment later.

 

[GaryInCO]

I'm a few months from 65, but I've actually been semi-retired for decades. Ex-DW and I left the megacorp back in '91 and I haven't worked full-time since. I've done contract / consulting work for most of my career. So I haven't really had a "job" to look forward to retiring FROM. I've had retiree-like freedom all along.

I'm at a traditional retirement age now, but life hasn't cooperated very well with big retirement plans. DW took a hike 10+ yrs ago. We loved to travel, and I had always imagined lots of travel in retirement, but it's not much fun by myself. Then in 2019 I got diagnosed with 2 cancers, and in 2020 this little pandemic thing hit. Due to my suppressed immune system, and 50-50 survival chances if I catch the stuff, I've barely left the house in 18 months.

5 yrs ago my brother (who retired from teaching at 60) asked me "When the heck are you going to retire?" At the time I said "Why would I? I don't hate my job like most people do. I don't have a partner to play with, and I'm not eager to get out and travel all alone. If I didn't have any work, I'm not sure what I'd do with myself." And that's true in spades now with COVID. Plus it's been nice having an income all along.

I'm hoping by next summer COVID will be under control. I probably still won't want to get into a plane, but I'm planning to get a new Tesla and do a lot of road trips.

 

[Navigator]

This is such an interesting thread for me.

RE is in the headlights. Hard to know if its 18 mos or 48 mos away, but its not 10 years.

The "when I retire list" isn't super long...but it is quite specific.

I always said that I wouldn't have OMY syndrome. Nope, not me. I'm hanging the cleats up right on the schedule I said I would.

And yet, here I'm sailing headlong into OMY syndrome driven by the usual impulses...

... I can put more money in the bank in 12 months than I did in my 30s.
... I worked so hard to get here, do I really want to pull the plug?
... Great people invested a lot in me to get me here...shouldn't I stay and do the same?
... Don't I owe it to society to be productive in some way?

Now you have me wrestling with whether my after retirement list is nonsense!

You are asking important questions. I know of a few people who retired from lofty positions just to find they didn’t like being treated like a normal person afterwards. When I retired, I found many things on my list were things I should have done 10 years before, but weren’t feasible anymore. The question of what I owed to society is one I struggled with the most. It took a couple of years to figure out ways I could continue to contribute to society and feel satisfied with what I was doing. For me, that was writing about emerging topics in the sciences, but for everyone that will be different.

One thing I wished I had done was retire a few years earlier, so I could have done more things on my list. I find that money is not nearly as big an issue as I thought it would be. I also found out that nobody missed me at work - I was completely replaceable, much to my dismay.

 

[Ronstar]

Wanted to travel a lot. Did for the first 5 years, but travel has been slim the past 2 years due to COVID and elder care.

 

[KarenF]

So far, retirement plans are nothing what I envisioned--they are turning out better!
Grandbabies arrived

Same here - we have three grandbabies with a fourth soon to arrive. Who know entertaining 2 years olds was so much fun!

 

[rodi]

I had this idea that I was going to crave structured time in retirement after decades of work. So I signed up for an Italian class at the local community college. Loved the class and it worked well to have class 3 days a week at 8am. Since I had kids under roof (still do) it worked with getting them to school (which was next door to the community college).

3 semesters later I'd maxed the Italian options and took a random class (accounting) just to learn something new. Fortunately it was online. Decided I really didn't need structure or more stuff to do.

I thought I'd volunteer a lot. And I have - but not at the activities I thought... I thought I'd volunteer at school, food bank, etc... Ended up involved in local planning issues and city chartered planning groups. It's hyper political (which I don't like) and many of my neighbors are not at all who I thought they were.

So my vision of retirement wasn't what I thought it would be. But it's a lot better than working. Turns out I don't need structure. Turns out I can do duolingo, or facebook messenger with my husband's Italian cugini to work on my Italian at my own pace.

Real retirement *might* be starting this fall. Youngest graduated last month and is going to college. Oldest, after a false start/rebound home, is moving out around the same time. Empty nest!!! I am really looking forward to just having the hubster and I to consider when making plans.