Caregiver Burnout

[GravitySucks]

A nice short article on caregiver burnout. Watch for the signs.
Caregiver Burnout: What It Means and How to Cope

I bet many of us are at the age where we will be involved as a caregiver. Watch for the warning signs and do something about it. I didn't even though professionals were telling me I was heading off the rails.

I recently returned from helping DGF move on to the next plane and my health has gone from being overweight but otherwise not to bad, to down right terrible. Fatter, no stamina, resting heart rate up 40%, blood pressure from low normal to high normal, bad joint pain, etc. etc.

So back on my bike, back to walking, back to the gym to get back to normal. To depressed to start a serious diet right now though.

 

[Blue Collar Guy]

I have every sign, My 91 year old mother lives with me. We have hired a 24/7 aide. It helps some, but mom refuses to walk, and the aide cant lift her. My wife is a Saint, I would have left me already. I could go on , but thanks for the post.

 

[H2ODude]

Can't say we qualified for "burnout" as described, but after 8 years we had enough. MIL lived with us in addition I built and care was just about a full time job for DW. We took it in stride, laughed about it when she wasn't around, but it just got plain OLD. Not the work, not the restrictions in freedom we had, but the failure of MIL to take care of herself and not do stupid things. Which caused falls, broken bones, and repeatedly saying she had no intention of doing THAT again, which she of course did. Perhaps the other aggravation was a total failure to ever express any cooperation or appreciation for what DW was doing for her, which got to me way more than DW.

Last straw was probably the 6th time 911 was called to get her up (I could easily have but the possibility of severe injury was real) and to ER. As visiting grandchildren watched the drama of her being hauled out we made our plans. After several weeks in rehab moved her to assisted living, for which we became the two devils. Won't rehash the end, but within a year it was over.

Family caregiving is great thing, but it has it's price. DF and DM passed in our home w hospice. Did everything we could for the MIL. No regrets on any, and that's a great benefit right there. Now, our plan is to NOT put our kids through what those experiences were.

 

[athena53]

Yep. I was "lucky". DH required heavy-duty caregiving only the last 2 months although that involved a road trip from KC to my mother's funeral in Myrtle Beach a month before he died. He was sweet and mellow to the end, but I constantly worried that he'd try to walk by himself and fall, which did happen. He was only 117 lbs. but I worried about him breaking something and me straining my back. In the end I was hiring people to stay with him if I was going to be gone for more than a couple of hours. I lost weight and woke up at every sound, worrying that it was DH.

My main financial goal is to have enough resources that DS and DDIL are not forced into caregiver roles just when they have the freedom to enjoy an empty nest.

 

[Luck_Club]

Not the work, not the restrictions in freedom we had, but the failure of MIL to take care of herself and not do stupid things. .... Perhaps the other aggravation was a total failure to ever express any cooperation or appreciation for what DW was doing for her, which got to me way more than DW.

Currently facing this right now. Just spent better part of 4 hours in the middle of the day taking DF to PT. Which he doesn't want to do. Diabetic morning sugar levels of 190, and doesn't stop eating ice cream and candy. To him, I'm just a PIA. To me I'm trying to keep him out of the nursing home as long as possible.

Should have left him living 12 hours away, until he broke something or the fire department stopped picking him up off the floor and forced him into a nursing home.

 

[athena53]

What's sad is that many caregivers don't have the resources to do some of the beneficial things the article recommends. Get therapy- leave the house for a couple of hours and pay a therapist when you're worried about money, holding a job, can't leave them alone? Get more sleep when they get up and wander at night? Yeah.