Decluttering

[Jay_Gatsby]

Interesting how different Millenials are from Boomers.

Millennials nix their parents’ treasures | The Kansas City Star The Kansas City Star

 

[photoguy]

I love the term digital hoarder (I've got a few TB myself).

I told my wife that her physical bookshelves were costing us $500/sq ft in housing costs. That adds up pretty fast.

 

[marko]

Seems that its not only 'clutter', stuff, collections and knickknacks.

An antique dealer friend told me that even expensive antiques are going down in value as the younger generation seems to place lesser value in such items.

Tiffany lampshades? (I personally have a few)
Cut glass crystal?
A desk from 1812?
"No thanks"

 

[Luckyvik]

Yeah I agree, I will never have a shelf full of porcelains like my mum does. I hope she doesn't try to offload them on me.


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[Koolau]

I have a few boxes of old photos and other keepsakes from mom and dad's stuff. In total, its only a few cubic feet (and easily stacked, moved, etc if need be.) The only "big" thing I wanted to keep was my mom's piano since it was what I most associated with her. Eventually, I needed to get rid of the piano, but could not bring myself to sell it. Instead, I heard of a young girl who was learning piano on just an electronic keyboard. She very much wanted a real piano, so two problems solved. Mom's piano to a good home. Everyone wins. YMMV

 

[pb4uski]

So you're telling me that DD or DS will NOT want DW's college notes and mimeographs that I have moved 3-4 times over the last 30 years and to my knowledge have never been looked at?

I kid you not.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

I love the term digital hoarder (I've got a few TB myself).

I told my wife that her physical bookshelves were costing us $500/sq ft in housing costs. That adds up pretty fast.

"Digital hoarding" is already becoming passe. Ask anyone who ripped their entire collection of CDs when the iPod first came out, or spent a ton of money on iTunes downloads, who now streams high-quality, commercial-free Pandora, Spotify, etc... for a few dollars a month over their cell phone. The same goes for people who spent good money downloading books from Amazon, since many libraries offer digital book/audio book downloads for free. The only digital hoarding that seems to be persistent is photos/videos, but with social media sites like Facebook and numerous cloud storage offerings, even that will eventually go away.

Parents who want to pass down their digital accumulations won't meet with much resistance because data storage is very inexpensive (local or cloud). Maybe that's a good idea for a business - a "virtual inheritance" locker that will be safe and secure for when the time comes. No more hunting through your parents computer, cell phone, camera(s), SD cards, CDs, etc... for digital memories. Everything will be organized exactly how you want your kids to inherit it, with no risk of loss.

 

[2017ish]

"Digital hoarding" is already becoming passe. Ask anyone who ripped their entire collection of CDs when the iPod first came out, or spent a ton of money on iTunes downloads, who now streams high-quality, commercial-free Pandora, Spotify, etc... for a few dollars a month over their cell phone. The same goes for people who spent good money downloading books from Amazon, since many libraries offer digital book/audio book downloads for free. ....

We find our personal digital books and music still serve a purpose. Assume a very cheap cellphone data plan (Republic) and the music streaming services don't fit the bill; nor do they work in areas with very spotty coverage (driving state highways/roads in the Ozark or Smoky mountains, or sitting on a diveboat in South Pacific).

As for books.... Last time I looked, the local library didn't cover much of what I read, although I could bug them, I suppose. Plus, if out of data communications range for a couple of weeks, it is nice to have my own already loaded up, with options to choose from.

(But, generally speaking, you make a valid point--and for those living in well-connected areas, or major metro areas, who don't travel to the boonies, my points are immaterial.)

 

[travelover]

I've noticed on Antiques Road show, where they have reruns with updated prices, that antique prices seem to be dropping, except Chinese stuff.

 

[athena53]

Interesting- I get the KC Star but somehow I missed this. My parents, in their mid-80s, are starting to offload, but they've been great about it. I was thrilled to get a set of Warther steak knives (made in Ohio near where we grew up) that had belonged to my grandparents. My mother also gave me a silver tea caddy spoon that I'd bought for them on my first trip to London, made in 1778 by a female silversmith. My SIL will get the rest of the sterling because she's the only one who wants it and doesn't have her own set.

Fortunately, our real valuables boil down to our own sterling silver flatware and my jewelry, none of which take up much space. I'd like to see the rest repurposed/recycled but if it all goes into a dumpster after I'm gone, so be it.

DH and I are about to stage the house for sale and I know we're going to have to ditch the outdoor poolside chairs that belonged to my Ex's parents. They're great, solid metal frames but the plastic straps are mostly gone or dirty and pitted. I feel bad about dumping them but they've certainly served their purpose.

 

[Katiek]

Interesting article and it definitely is consistent with my experience.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

I've noticed on Antiques Road show, where they have reruns with updated prices, that antique prices seem to be dropping, except Chinese stuff.

Yet at the same time, I'm seeing the prices for new furniture, alleged "collectibles", etc... going up, Up, UP. The worst part of it is that millenials are actually paying such prices for far inferior products.

Maybe it's not such a dumb idea to take that 50+ year old dining room table made out of solid wood, if you can take out a leaf or two and make it a 4-top. The worst that will happen is that you donate/sell it if you have to move. Likewise, that solid wood frame couch with thick steel springs could be reupholstered for far less than buying a new one.

IMHO, elegant and classy furniture never goes out of style - and in some cases becomes a conversation piece with a story of its own.

 

[truenorth418]

In his kitchen my father has an entire wall of cupboards containing glassware, beer steins, dishes of all shapes and sizes ... but actually ever uses the same cereal bowl, plate, and juice glass over and over again.

He was heart broken when I told him I wasn't interested in having his living room furniture, his antique dresser, not to mention the shotgun his father gave him when he was 18 years old. I told him it was because it wasn't practical since I live in a 300 sq ft studio apartment in NYC, but I think he expected me to rent a storage unit or something.






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[Accidental Retiree]

Interesting- I get the KC Star but somehow I missed this. My parents, in their mid-80s, are starting to offload, but they've been great about it. I was thrilled to get a set of Warther steak knives (made in Ohio near where we grew up) that had belonged to my grandparents. My mother also gave me a silver tea caddy spoon that I'd bought for them on my first trip to London, made in 1778 by a female silversmith. My SIL will get the rest of the sterling because she's the only one who wants it and doesn't have her own set.

Fortunately, our real valuables boil down to our own sterling silver flatware and my jewelry, none of which take up much space. I'd like to see the rest repurposed/recycled but if it all goes into a dumpster after I'm gone, so be it.

DH and I are about to stage the house for sale and I know we're going to have to ditch the outdoor poolside chairs that belonged to my Ex's parents. They're great, solid metal frames but the plastic straps are mostly gone or dirty and pitted. I feel bad about dumping them but they've certainly served their purpose.

I've seen places that restrap these things. Myself, I took spray paint after some that my neighbors threw out, and the chairs looked fine. I even used a paint made for plastic on the straps!

 

[Accidental Retiree]

Dear FIL died last week, and the family is now going through his and late MIL's home of 60 years. They'd both be really pleased to see how much the kids, grandkids, and great grandkids are keeping.

 

[ampeep]

I'm in the process of getting rid of stuff at work; I have 2 more days 'till retirement. Intended to take stuff I got from my travels, but then, why would I need info on places that I'll never visit again?

Plus, anticipating that my wife will be just thrilled to see all the 'junk' I brought home. She retired yesterday & said our first project will be to de-clutter our den.

 

[FIREd]

Like the millennials, I prefer to live in a smaller, clutter-free space, and I am not interested in being the recipient of other people's knick knack. But I can still appreciate some quality antiques that are smaller in scale and less ornate. They fit well in my smaller apartment. And polishing silver or washing fine china by hand has never been a turn off for me.

Around here, the younger generation seems to go crazy for the midcentury modern style. It's everywhere and it is becoming so unoriginal.

 

[sunnysideup]

They don't keep their own memoribilia!!!

My DS took very little from our house when he went out on his own. I had consolidated 3-4 boxes of his stuff over the years and even though he smiled a lot at the memories while going through it, he quickly pared it down to one box. I even had made a memory box that he wasn't interested in--although I kept it in case he has kids one day and they will love to see it.

Different generation.

 

[HFWR]

...washing fine china by hand...

I use my china regularly. I know it's china; says so right on the bottom...


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[HFWR]

Duplicate...

 

[gauss]

As I have been attempting to deal with my late Father's condo contents (I am his sole heir), I find myself in a bit of a quagmire at times.

Three things that I tell myself to try to get through it are:

• Consumables that I can use in the short term will be kept because I will avoid future purchases and the associated holding costs will be small.
• Many items that I may use in the future can be purchased on ebay etc if indeed I really need them with no holding costs during the interim.
• Digital photographs of items that have sentimental value may go a long way towards maintaining the memory and can likely be a proxy for actually keeping the item.

One of my psychological barriers to this is having such as "value mindset", I keep thinking that I should be able to find a home for items that I am discarding. I usually end up reverting to a donation of goods instead with the thought of letting the professional charities find the new home.

Wish me luck.

-gauss

 

[MichaelB]

As I have been attempting to deal with my late Father's condo contents (I am his sole heir), I find myself in a bit of a quagmire at times.

Three things that I tell myself to try to get through it are:

• Consumables that I can use in the short term will be kept because I will avoid future purchases and the associated holding costs will be small.
• Many items that I may use in the future can be purchased on ebay etc if indeed I really need them with no holding costs during the interim.
• Digital photographs of items that have sentimental value may go a long way towards maintaining the memory and can likely be a proxy for actually keeping the item.

One of my psychological barriers to this is having such as "value mindset", I keep thinking that I should be able to find a home for items that I am discarding. I usually end up reverting to a donation of goods instead with the thought of letting the professional charities find the new home.

Wish me luck.

-gauss

Good luck.

I took the lead with my father's things, then my aunt's (DM's sister). You have a pretty good attitude and approach. It is so hard to dispose of the things left behind by a loved one. Local chapters of the national charities proved less interested than I anticipated, and some stuff was tossed. Still, I was able to find some worthwhile local initiatives and get them some things. I'm sure DF and DA would be pleased with the outcome.

It's 15 years later for my father and I'm still going through (and enjoying) a shoebox of stuff he collected that no sibling wanted.

 

[Jay_Gatsby]

I should say at this point that it's never easy to "declutter" the former residence of a deceased relative (particularly a parent, and g-d forbid, a son/daughter). The emotional attachment to the residence and the decedent's belongings makes it extremely difficult to let go of things. For many people, disposing of such belongings is tantamount to giving away pieces of the decedent, or even a betrayal. Holding onto things simply because one is too afraid to let go is part of the grieving process, so it's important to take things slowly. In my personal experience, it's not like ripping off a band-aid.

OTOH, decluttering one's own life can be easier, but still involves some degree of "moving on" (i.e., growing up/moving on to the next phase in life, etc....) There is emotion involved, but IMHO it's quite different.

 

[marko]

I should say at this point that it's never easy to "declutter" the former residence of a deceased relative (particularly a parent, and g-d forbid, a son/daughter). The emotional attachment to the residence and the decedent's belongings makes it extremely difficult to let go of things. For many people, disposing of such belongings is tantamount to giving away pieces of the decedent, or even a betrayal. Holding onto things simply because one is too afraid to let go is part of the grieving process, so it's important to take things slowly. In my personal experience, it's not like ripping off a band-aid.

Agreed. I went through the same thing with my grandfather when we moved into his house after his passing.

What I found is that you hold on to all kinds of 'stuff' and after a while --1, 5, 10 years?-- the loss part is gone and now it's just junk that's in your way ( which is what it was all along) and now you can throw out.

 

[Totoro]

I have a natural tendency to feel weighed down by possessions. Still have way too much stuff, some of it forced on me by females (with good intentions), but I can fit everything in one ford transit (including the bike, and two matresses.).

Given I don't have kids or a permanent home, that seems par and fitting. Since more people go that single and flexible route, I'm in good company. Stuff naturally accumulates in a permanent place with kids, just ask my brother

.. and with fewer people having families and (quasi) permanent homes, less opportunity for hoarding, hence boomers who are selling find they have fewer people to sell to. Simple demographics I think.

I also object to the "They are living their life digitally through Instagram and Facebook and YouTube, and that’s how they are capturing their moments" and "The 20- and 30-somethings don’t appear to be defined by their possessions, other than their latest-generation cellphones."

I don't care about my cellphone hipster factor, and don't use Instagram, Facebook or YouTube. Most of my friends don't either.

No need to play the culture / counter-culture card. Demographics work just as well.

[Edit] Just as an aside: I see many grandparents downsizing and/or moving to assisted living. They 'declutter' as well, and are finding their kids (boomers!) don't want their stuff. It's a natural thing.