Do you get called “honey” or “sweetie” by strangers?

[Janet H]

Happens to me as well and while it's not worth getting riled up about (well... maybe it is) it points out some disparity in social standing or maybe language.

If My DH and I are in a restaurant I may be called honey but he will be called sir. One is familiar and the other is respectful and this bugs me. It points out a painful although generally accepted social norm.

 

[Clone]

They can call me whatever they want, just don't call me late for supper!


I guess it is better than the waiter giving you the stink-eye and saying 'Whad ah you lookin' at?'


What bothers me is that the bus driver knelt the bus for me the other day (lowered the corner of the bus so that it was not as big a step to get into the bus). I am not sure how I feel about that. I must be getting bent over and shuffling around...

 

[LOL!]

I have been called sweetie often and I like it by younger and older people.

Sometimes when I am walking my adorable looking dog, one of a pair of women walking by will say, "Oh, he looks so cute!" and I respond, "Thanks! My dog looks cute as well."

 

[sengsational]

"Sir" is more jarring to me than the softer terms repeatedly mentioned above.



"Sir" causes me to crank my neck around and look behind me. They usually get the message.

 

[audreyh1]

Gosh, here I might get called querida or hija!

 

[haha]

Anyone who is bothered by these friendly greetings can move to Seattle. That should take care of it.

Ha

 

[TDub]

Happens to me as well and while it's not worth getting riled up about (well... maybe it is) it points out some disparity in social standing or maybe language.



If My DH and I are in a restaurant I may be called honey but he will be called sir. One is familiar and the other is respectful and this bugs me. It points out a painful although generally accepted social norm.

Agreed, on all points

 

[Gumby]

I regularly say "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am". I learned it early in life and my time in the military certainly reinforced the habit. It is merely a term of friendly respect and I certainly do not intend to convey any other message than that.

You can call me anything you like, so long as you're friendly about it.

 

[calico1597]

Years ago, back in my 40s, a salesman called me sweetie. He didn't get the siding job I was looking for. He also had a pink shirt on. I don't like pink on men.

 

[Calico]

I was raised in the Northeast and taught to address all my elders "yes ma'am" and "yes sir." It was a shorthand and respectful way to address adults we did not know. Not all of my childhood friends did this - some called adults by their first names (!) which I found very jarring and strange, because of the way I was raised.

I have lived in the south for 30+ years off and on now, and everyone here refers to everyone as "ma'am" or "sir" if they don't know them, regardless of the age of the person being addressed. I picked this up and have been doing it for decades now, even with people my same age if they are unknown to me or are serving me.

I do hear "sweetie" or "honey" sometimes from waitresses and it doesn't bother me. It's a cultural, regional thing.

Recently, however, I have been addressed as "Miss (my first name)" by a couple of acquaintances, and I'm not sure how I feel about this, because often that form of address is directed at very elderly people here to show respect.

I just figure it's better than some of the other things I have been called in my life and I let it go!

To the OP: I agree with another poster; I don't think there is a "witty" response that would not be considered rude, since the speaker did not mean any harm by the terms.

 

[Ed B]

Years ago, back in my 40s, a salesman called me sweetie. He didn't get the siding job I was looking for. He also had a pink shirt on. I don't like pink on men.

Perhaps it is a double standard but if a man calls a lady sweetie, it is creepy and/or condescending depending on the context. But if a woman, particularly someone who is serving or assisting someone calls him or her sweetie, it is different. Right or wrong it just is.

And yes, often it is an effort to get a better tip. Some, but not all, waitresses, hairdressers, sales persons, etc. live or die (financially) based on building repeat customers through equal parts good service and charm.

 

[Lakewood90712]

Only by the good time girls that worked the corner by my last inner city office.

 

[34rlsa]

It means you're old and harmless.

 

[MarieIG]

Well, not necessarily be waitresses. We don't go out to eat a lot, but have been called hon, honey, sweetie, Miss, Ma'am, beautiful, Miss (first name), mamacita (my parking garage in the Bronx)


Nope, doesn't bother me. Nor does being wished a Blessed Day. I think it's sweet.


I'm from NY. I've heard a lot worse.

 

[Scuba]

I'm often called 'sir', but I just realized the speakers are mispronouncing 'cur'.

[emoji23]

 

[Scuba]

Interesting that I’m almost alone in feeling the way I do about this. I would understand if I lived in the South, but I live in So CA and this virtually never happened here until a year or two ago.

In my last job, I worked for a senior living operator. We actually trained our people not to call the residents by anything other than their names out of respect. Using these overly familiar terms was considered potentially insulting and therefore best avoided. Perhaps this is why I’m sensitive to it.

I definitely am not a “chip on the shoulder” type person. I’m pretty laid back, actually, but this recent phenomenon just got me thinking that I must really look old to be getting this treatment.

Perhaps the best response is to respond in kind. If strangers think it’s a nice thing to call me “honey” or “sweetie,” then I suppose they’ll like being addressed in a similar manner. That will either help me get used to it, or if they don’t like it, we can have a conversation about how we should address each other going forward.

 

[Gunny]

I'm a man, 56 yo and live in Alabama. I refer to guys I meet as "bud" or"buddy". And women as"sweetie", unless they are older or in a position of authority, then it's "sir" or "ma'am". It's me being friendly or polite, not condescending, and it's usually reciprocated in kind. . If one is offended by that, sorry, sweetie, I'm not going to change.

 

[VanWinkle]

It is part of life and I enjoy friendly banter with a waitress(DW is a retired waitress) I try not to be ready to be insulted by everyone that thinks differently than me. I enjoy the differences, kind of like people watching at the airport.

 

[Eagle43]

Out at the military base, the young troops always refer to me as Sir. I believe they mean "you're old."

 

[Amethyst]

That's because buying a contract of work is a formal situation. He was an idiot to call you an informal endearment while interviewing for a job.

Years ago, back in my 40s, a salesman called me sweetie. He didn't get the siding job I was looking for. .

 

[Amethyst]

Which reminds me, some men my age and older talk to me, whenever they need to complain or convey something not entirely pleasant, as if I were about 16 years old and not very bright.

I actually got on one man's case about this after he scolded me, exactly as a dad would, for standing in front of a gym machine (that I was using, and he wanted to use) and doing a few reps with light weights. I told him that I wasn't his daughter, and to stop talking to me as if I were. I said if he wanted to be the gym cop, then he needed to get after all the people who sit on the machines and text, not just me for actually exercising. And I said, if you want this machine, then just ask if you can work in.

After that, he was respectful. It seems like he really did listen.

That's because buying a contract of work is a formal situation. He was an idiot to call you an informal endearment while interviewing for a job.

 

[Bestwifeever]

Interesting that I’m almost alone in feeling the way I do about this. I would understand if I lived in the South, but I live in So CA and this virtually never happened here until a year or two ago.

In my last job, I worked for a senior living operator. We actually trained our people not to call the residents by anything other than their names out of respect. Using these overly familiar terms was considered potentially insulting and therefore best avoided. Perhaps this is why I’m sensitive to it.

I definitely am not a “chip on the shoulder” type person. I’m pretty laid back, actually, but this recent phenomenon just got me thinking that I must really look old to be getting this treatment.

Perhaps the best response is to respond in kind. If strangers think it’s a nice thing to call me “honey” or “sweetie,” then I suppose they’ll like being addressed in a similar manner. That will either help me get used to it, or if they don’t like it, we can have a conversation about how we should address each other going forward.

I would definitely feel like you if I were the oldest person in a group and the only one being called that. And “young lady” is always so patronizing at my age I just grit my teeth and grin through a response (call me an old broad or a bitch instead—that I’d definitely be okay with ). I don’t mind hon, etc., in general, though—I call everyone I know babe and have to be careful not to use it with others. Maybe they’re complaining about me!

 

[Amethyst]

Possibly...yet, the troops called me "ma'am" when I was 24. It was just a matter of protocol and mutual respect.

Out at the military base, the young troops always refer to me as Sir. I believe they mean "you're old."

 

[FIYes]

I used to frequently be called sweetie and honey when I was young. It was patronizing and it did bother me. I have mellowed a lot in my years on this earth and it no longer bothers me. Now I figure it says more about them than me and, hey, it beats being called *******.

Scuba, I used to employ your “right back at you “ strategy and answer in kind. Really, if you feel that you are being patronized, chances are you are being patronized.

 

[Amethyst]

Or NYC! Although strangers can be quite friendly and helpful there, believe it or not. They just won't call you endearments while they're at it.

Actually, they won't call you anything; they just tell you stuff! "Go that way...No, don't send her that way; it's this way!"

Anyone who is bothered by these friendly greetings can move to Seattle. That should take care of it.

Ha