Do you get called “honey” or “sweetie” by strangers?

[Moemg]

I used to go to a Physician that called me young lady .I found it condescending .I ended up changing Physicians .As for waitresses calling me Hon I really do not care . I find it amusing when they use it to excess.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

Some folks spend way too much time sweating the small stuff......

 

[Amethyst]

If we all took your advice, the Internet as we know it would die out.

Some folks spend way too much time sweating the small stuff......

 

[hausfrau]

I live in the Midwest, so I don't hear these very often. They don't bother me at all though. I don't mind "ma'am" either and wouldn't mind hearing mamacita or babe. I'm in my mid-40s and the only bummer was when I went to a liquor store that cards everyone under 40 and they didn't even bother!

 

[audreyh1]

Well, not necessarily be waitresses. We don't go out to eat a lot, but have been called hon, honey, sweetie, Miss, Ma'am, beautiful, Miss (first name), mamacita (my parking garage in the Bronx)


Nope, doesn't bother me. Nor does being wished a Blessed Day. I think it's sweet.


I'm from NY. I've heard a lot worse.

Oh dang! I have never been called mamacita!

That’s usually reserved for a hot young babe.

 

[audreyh1]

Interesting that I’m almost alone in feeling the way I do about this. I would understand if I lived in the South, but I live in So CA and this virtually never happened here until a year or two ago.

In my last job, I worked for a senior living operator. We actually trained our people not to call the residents by anything other than their names out of respect. Using these overly familiar terms was considered potentially insulting and therefore best avoided. Perhaps this is why I’m sensitive to it.

I definitely am not a “chip on the shoulder” type person. I’m pretty laid back, actually, but this recent phenomenon just got me thinking that I must really look old to be getting this treatment.

Perhaps the best response is to respond in kind. If strangers think it’s a nice thing to call me “honey” or “sweetie,” then I suppose they’ll like being addressed in a similar manner. That will either help me get used to it, or if they don’t like it, we can have a conversation about how we should address each other going forward.

I can understand this.

But my Dad gets a kick out of being called "Pops" by one of the ladies at his assisted living place. She did ask his permission first.

 

[flintnational]

I believe this question was answered years ago.

"You don't have to call me darlin', darlin'.
You never even call me by my name."

- David Allen Coe

This song contains other life lessons.

"I was drunk the day my mama got out of prison"

 

[ls99]

Sure. And it is OK.

 

[Dash man]

People can call me whatever they want as long as it’s not a vulgar name. I think people from different areas of the country or world are raised to say these terms of endearment. As for “have a blessed day” or “God Bless,” I need all the blessings I can get!

 

[MarieIG]

Interesting that I’m almost alone in feeling the way I do about this. I would understand if I lived in the South, but I live in So CA and this virtually never happened here until a year or two ago.

In my last job, I worked for a senior living operator. We actually trained our people not to call the residents by anything other than their names out of respect. Using these overly familiar terms was considered potentially insulting and therefore best avoided. Perhaps this is why I’m sensitive to it.

I definitely am not a “chip on the shoulder” type person. I’m pretty laid back, actually, but this recent phenomenon just got me thinking that I must really look old to be getting this treatment.

Perhaps the best response is to respond in kind. If strangers think it’s a nice thing to call me “honey” or “sweetie,” then I suppose they’ll like being addressed in a similar manner. That will either help me get used to it, or if they don’t like it, we can have a conversation about how we should address each other going forward.

But, have you worked as a waitress?

Standing on your feet until it hurts; having to move fast to deal with multiple tables; having to listen to people complain about their orders - and complain about you. They are called in shrill voices "WAITRESS" "Miss, Miss" but if the customers are not downright mean, and some are, you don't mind if they call you Honey.

If it is slow, there are times when it can be pleasant with good customers. I remember some of the older men were very sweet and would also give nice tips.

I also remember when I was 18, going into the ladies room to cry, and being chased in their by two women who wanted to keep complaining. You see, I had interrupted their tirade by leaving.

Oh, not to mention if you got a temperamental cook.

Now, it's been a very long time since I was a waitress, and maybe now it's completely different.

 

[Gumby]

I bussed tables and washed dishes at a restaurant when I was a teen, and I've seen exactly how horrible some people can be to waitresses. I still pay attention to how the other customers act when the young wife and I go out to eat, and I can aver that there is still no shortage of jerk customers at restaurants.

 

[FlaGator]

Interesting that I’m almost alone in feeling the way I do about this. I would understand if I lived in the South, but I live in So CA and this virtually never happened here until a year or two ago.

In my last job, I worked for a senior living operator. We actually trained our people not to call the residents by anything other than their names out of respect. Using these overly familiar terms was considered potentially insulting and therefore best avoided. Perhaps this is why I’m sensitive to it.

I definitely am not a “chip on the shoulder” type person. I’m pretty laid back, actually, but this recent phenomenon just got me thinking that I must really look old to be getting this treatment.

Perhaps the best response is to respond in kind. If strangers think it’s a nice thing to call me “honey” or “sweetie,” then I suppose they’ll like being addressed in a similar manner. That will either help me get used to it, or if they don’t like it, we can have a conversation about how we should address each other going forward.

Well hun, maybe it is you

Seriously, it is unlikely that an active woman in her later 50's, as you are, would look "old". In any event, I would put more weight on how DH thinks you look than a random waitress.

As for this happening recently in SoCal, I would either blow it off, or attribute it to in-migration from regions where that vernacular is more common. For all it's challenges, SoCal is still an appealing place to live.

 

[Calico]

Well hun, maybe it is you

Seriously, it is unlikely that an active woman in her later 50's, as you are, would look "old". In any event, I would put more weight on how DH thinks you look than a random waitress.

As for this happening recently in SoCal, I would either blow it off, or attribute it to in-migration from regions where that vernacular is more common. For all it's challenges, SoCal is still an appealing place to live.

Yup. This.

 

[Scuba]

But, have you worked as a waitress?



Standing on your feet until it hurts; having to move fast to deal with multiple tables; having to listen to people complain about their orders - and complain about you. They are called in shrill voices "WAITRESS" "Miss, Miss" but if the customers are not downright mean, and some are, you don't mind if they call you Honey.



If it is slow, there are times when it can be pleasant with good customers. I remember some of the older men were very sweet and would also give nice tips.



I also remember when I was 18, going into the ladies room to cry, and being chased in their by two women who wanted to keep complaining. You see, I had interrupted their tirade by leaving.



Oh, not to mention if you got a temperamental cook.



Now, it's been a very long time since I was a waitress, and maybe now it's completely different.

I’ve definitely worked as a waitress and know it’s a tough job. That’s why we are always nice to servers and we tip well.

 

[cooch96]

Hon, babe, dahlin, love, sir: I find all these terms endearing but don’t show it. DW bristles if a young waitress gets too familiar with me.

 

[ShokWaveRider]

Hon, babe, dahlin, love, sir: I find all these terms endearing but don’t show it. DW bristles if a young waitress gets too familiar with me.

Do you mean she starts to sprout facial hair?

 

[Amethyst]

Honestly, why? It's not like you're going to run off with the waitress...or are you?

DW bristles if a young waitress gets too familiar with me.

 

[cooch96]

Do you mean she starts to sprout facial hair?

Of course not, she sprouts back hair. If it were her face, I'd say she "whiskers" at perceived flirts.

 

[cooch96]

Honestly, why? It's not like you're going to run off with the waitress...or are you?

She worships me and thinks I'm devastatingly handsome and assumes all women think the same. Her jealously is broad, deep, irrational, cute and endlessly amusing.

Hah! Perish the thought. DW is the one for me and I'm a smart enough cookie to notice how good I have it.

 

[DEC-1982]

Sweetie, honey, darling are all common, but what floored me recently was being called babe at my (new) Publix deli. I tend to ignore this; I know it's customary especially as I go further away from the city and they don't mean anything bad.

 

[HFWR]

Some folks spend way too much time sweating the small stuff......

Don’t sweat the petty stuff. Don’t pet the sweaty stuff...

 

[HFWR]

I believe this question was answered years ago.

"You don't have to call me darlin', darlin'.
You never even call me by my name."

- David Allen Coe

This song contains other life lessons.

"I was drunk the day my mama got out of prison"

Though written by Steve Goodman...

 

[jollystomper]

As a minority I am happy to be called the same thing everyone else is being called. So if they are calling everyone "honey" or "sweetie"... that is fine with be. Beats being called something else, or nothing at all...


Another term that is new to me is being called "Boss" by other men. In the past that had racial/class connotations, but now... usually it is said in a friendly tone, so I don't think it is meant to be disrespectful.

 

[ugeauxgirl]

I live in the south- it happens ALL THE TIME. I don't do it, personally, but I was raised to say yes ma'am and no sir, and I still find myself doing it, especially to anyone behind a desk or counter- I have no idea why. No one takes offense at it around here. My favorite waitress at a local restaurant, always calls me "hon" and I call her Mrs Barbara. She usually brings me an unsweet tea, without even asking, but when she does ask, I always say "yes, ma'am" even though I'm 46.