Until age 19 I was an under-achieving little turd. Around that time, with the almost imperceptible influence of my future wife who I had met when I was 17 and she was 16 whilst on vacation with our parents in Chincoteague, Va, I decided to be better. I somehow developed a better, non-shitty attitude and finally thought about my future.
I moved 530 miles away from my childhood bedroom and free room and board and a factory job to live near my wife in Radford, Va where she attended college.
I had a beat VW and $335.00 to my name. I found a one room "apartment" that was connected to an old house that was in the middle of a student parking lot. The last tenant had had a fire and I did not have to pay a deposit if I cleaned it out. Such a deal!
I kept the furniture and the bed spring (bare spring...) that had a melted and burned pound pack of bacon stuck to it. My wife helped me clean it. She was appalled. At least they put in a new simple foam pad as a mattress. It was a ****-hole and my neighbor was a felon who beat his wife routinely between jail tours. The sounds of her being beaten and her screams were presented to us via the mutually shared HVAC vents. She also occasionally cooked Chitlins.
I paid $50.00 per month including electric, water, heat (thermostat was in the main house (no AC). My only additional expense was a phone for $8.00 per month.
My father had promised me a college education but refused to pay for it in the end. He used to make a big deal about how a man would keep his word and a man's word was really all he had. Nice job, Dad. I paid my own way by the way of work bennies.
I lived on a weekly minimum wage of $63.80 after deductions. That's 255.20 per month. Later when Ma decided I could go to community college she gave me $100.00 per month TOTAL. $1.200.00 per year for two years including me paying for my own insulin out of that. And gas to go to comm college classes.
I finally decided that I should go to college and try to make more money and BE HAPPY.
This part of the story is important because it spurred me on to think about what I wanted in life:
- to be married to my wife forever
- to have a useful college education
- a house in the country with a basement, a barn, and a pond
- And extra, icing on-the-cake-but-not-necessary-for happiness item: a whole house generator
I have been married to the woman who helped me clean out a burnt out apartment to save money for over 42 years. We have reliable cars. I have a well-used BS in Comp Sci from a name brand school. And a custom made 2,500 sq ft house with a pond, generator, my own computer room, and a barn on 10 acres of oak trees in the highest income county and one of the higher COL areas in the US.
I have a real lot of health problems and wanted the comfort of a HCOL area for the medical care I needed. We are staying in our house 'til the end for the same reason.
We were fortunate in not having children so we can afford it now. I did not want to pass along my health probs and DO NOT LIKE CHILDREN.
We got our house built to our specs (We had no idea what we were doing and learned a lot very quickly and painfully) and searched for a 10 acre wooded lot for years. Once we saw the one we bought we knew we wanted it and it was the one for us. The seller had to sell imm in order to move far away, and needed the money and had priced it low to sell. We paid $38K cash for a 10 acre wooded lot in Loudoun County, Va with a stream that was at the end of a private drive in a very expensive county with the condition that it would legally sustain a septic field. It was worth at least $55K but we were the first ones to see it and the first one to grab it up. It's has worth about ten times what we paid. At the time the interest rates where 14 7/8%!
The interest rate being high was hurting the custom builder we had shopped our ideas with. He gave us a reasonable quote for what we asked for and, most importantly to us, did not laugh outright when seeing how young and inexperienced we were. We politely told him that we had no where near that much money and went home.
About 18 months later we got a call one night after work, out of the blue, from the builder:
Builder: What are you doing about that house that you wanted to build?
Wife: Waiting mostly.
Builder: Why don't you come in to see me and we might be able to make a deal.
Wifely Unit: Uh, OK...
The builder had run out of projects and was about to be forced to lay off his long-term people from his family business which he had built himself.
He offered to build us the house of our dreams at his cost. In order to keep his people employed, he made no profit on building our house. He had no other projects at the time and even drew up the plans TO OUR SPECS at his cost. We got top quality good name brand, a few steps up from the bottom appliances (Still have the oven and it's on its fourth element!). We got 100% (except the unfinished basement) Bruce hardwood prefinished floors throughout his cost. They were installed for about $2.80/sq ft. My sister's husband bought and installed identical floors at the price of $4.80 per sq ft! Except for the floors, we painted and stained (A REAL lot!) as we had natural trim windows and doors, and landscaped ourselves. We have Pella windows and a Pella French door. We got Western Red Cedar siding and handmade trim on the outside.
The builder used all good quality HW and framing wood and solid wood joists (Or, "Joistesses," ala the installers...) all put in place in a good quality manner.
I believe we saved about 35% on the house. It was custom, built according to our reasonable expectations and contructed in a very good manner. We had a crippling mortgage rate of 14 7/8%! We refinanced as soon and often as possible, eventually down to about 4% and now are fully paid off. We were totally unqualified to attempt this project on our own but the wonderful man helped us out in many ways. His most important "help" to the process was, of course, the price break but he gave us a real lot of free advice based on his vast experience. I think that helped us both of us later in life a real lot.
So, we do love our house as it's almost exactly what we want, we have a lot of emotional investment in it, and we have a bond together with it.
It has a few fundamental problems and whenever my wife complains even slightly about them, I am very quick to remind her of our current mortgage and the burned melted bacon cleanup experience.
Then, invariably, the house control system that I built myself since 1978 announces that the washer or dryer is finished. She loves both the house control system and the upstairs laundry room built to her specs when she was an inexperienced 20-something and the discontentment usually goes away quickly.
Periodically, I review my younger self's wishes out loud and thank my wife for making me happy. I could literally not have done any of it without her in my life. She and I were made for each other. If she were there, I could still be happy with her in the first bacon-apartment.
The most significant and truly by-far, the most important thing in my life was my wife. I have a naturally good attitude and it has helped me many times. My wife would probably not have put up with all this crap if I were not happy.
Mike D., in a talkative mood today.
