Spouse left active duty for the Reserves 15 months before I retired.HaHa said:I wonder if there are retired women with working husbands who are on the board? If so, it would interesting if they would weigh in.
The day after she "came home", the state's school teachers went out on strike for three weeks. I took a few days of leave, we neighbors formed a hui to homeschool the kids, and spouse & I fell into what seems a lot like 1950s Ozzie & Harriett roles.
After the teachers & kids went back to school she spent most of the next three months recovering & decompressing. A lot of TV was caught up on, a lot of books were read, a lot of naps were taken, and she started a couple home-improvement projects. She kept up with her chores but we didn't renegoiate. She listened politely to my sea stories and she didn't torment me too much about "what she did all day". We kept the housecleaner and the rest of the domestic routine so she didn't pick up any extra responsibilities that she didn't already have.
After six months she had opportunities to get more active in the Reserves and she started working a couple weeks a month.
There weren't any upheavals during that period, and she didn't adapt her routine to support me any more than I changed mine to support her. There were no cabin boys or pool girls. Our marriage has always been more about teamwork, and the load stayed pretty equally balanced.
Same thing today. If she's on travel or working PACOM shifts then I might pick up an extra chore or fix a few extra meals, but otherwise the load stays pretty even. When she's back home then I know I'll be able to catch up on my surfing!