Downsizing dilemma

[DawgMan]

I suppose some of you have dealt with this. You have a large family (in my case 4 kids) who are/planning on having kids (1st grandkid on the way) and still own the family home (larger, has all the accommodations if kids/grandkids visit... pool, big finished basement, everything sized for more peeps). Additionally, home has been transformed over the years to meet all mine and my wife's personal creature comforts (i.e. professional kitchen, wine room, outside kitchen/fireplace) so we have certain things we hate to give up or would want to replicate in a smaller home, should we downsize. So the dilemma... when I look at all the related costs to keeping a 7K SF of house up and running/maintained and compare that with the potential savings of a downsize, it looks like real money. On the flip side, this is "home" to us and our kids and has all the space to invite everyone over. If I argue $$, I could justify that having say an additional $25K/yr to throw at trips (family or other) by downsizing could be worth the losing the "big" house for everyone to stay/play? My RE launch is scheduled for end of 2019 and I go back and forth with stay or go. Any of you with bigger families resolve this without any regrets??

 

[pb4uski]

$25k can buy a lot of hotel rooms, rented RVs in the backyard for extra sleeping rooms, etc. for guests if needed.

 

[Bamaman]

We went from 4200 sq. ft. in Gwinnett County to 3500 sq. ft. in a 100 acre wilderness in Alabama. We liked the peace and quiet, but the rooms were just a little smaller than what we're used to.

We spotted or of two large foreclosures in the area in good condition and jumped on it @ 75% of what the house is worth. Now the wife.is happy--so I am happy. We would not have gone for 5 bedrooms and 5 full bathrooms had the price not been so right. The neighbors' houses go up to 10,500 sq. ft. so we don't have to worry about the riff raff moving in.

I wouldn't move unless I got a really top.dollar for the current house or unless you find one to buy for an advantageous price.

 

[haha]

I wouldn't move unless I got a really top.dollar for the current house or unless you find one to buy for an advantageous price.

Amen! Moving is stressful and expensive. Best to be sure that it is really worth it.

Ha

 

[folivier]

Here's my view. I miss the pool, but have an indoor pool in the subdivision. Very few residents use it. I miss my barn but have access to a place to park the motorhome with full hookups and work on it. The kids have their own lives and we're lucky to see them, mostly when we go over to their houses. Don't miss the large yard and the upkeep. Enough green space here that I don't have to keep up.
So I guess my point is to do what is best for you and your wife. The kids will adjust.

 

[Scrapr]

We sold our "big" house (3000 SF) 2 years ago and moved to our vacation home (1500 SF). Both homes fully furnished so 3000 SF of stuff had to go. We really like the smaller space. Much much easier. New home is one level. Old home had 62 stairs throughout. Smaller yard smaller lawn care cost. Heck I might even get bored enough to do it myself! (let's not get carried away now) We built some indoor/outdoor area. So that expands it a bit. Just much easier running a smaller home

 

[athena53]

DH and I found a middle ground. I have only one child; DH's from a previous marriage live pretty far away and are childless. We had a McMansion with 4 bedrooms, 3 full baths, 3 half baths and a pool. The new house has a smaller footprint and 4 bedrooms, 3 full baths, with no pool. I'm sure my granddaughters would have LOVED a pool but they don't remember having access to one so they don't miss it. It's easier to keep clean and the monthly costs are significantly lower. We didn't downsize QUITE as much as planned but it was enough, and there's still room for visiting family.

ETA: they put the girls down for a nap in the CLOSET in the guest room when they were babies! It's a walk-in closet and they took out all the suitcases I had stored in it, then put in the playpen, but I was horrified. I got over it- apparently that was a good way to give them the dark space they needed to calm down and sleep. They were perfectly happy in there.

 

[RunningBum]

My rationale for keeping my bigger house is realtor fees. I'm not ready to move into my final house, whatever that is, so if I can keep this house until then, that's one less sale with sales commission. That savings helps finance any additional upkeep. I guess. My house is about half the size of yours, and no pool, so that may or may not apply to the OP.

 

[Teacher Terry]

We have 5 kids between us and moved into a 1400 sq ft home. We love it as it is easy to maintain and clean. We have a guest bedroom, plus RV people can sleep in.

 

[latexman]

We have 5 kids. Ages 32, 25, 23, 19, and 18. About 1 year ago, four were still at home and the oldest had been out on her own since she was 18. At that time, DW and I called the four at home to a family meeting. The message was, in 1 year, Mom and Dad are downsizing from 6 bedrooms/2 story to 3 bedrooms/1 story and there will be bedrooms for the 19 and 18 year old while they finish college. I.e. 23 and 25 year olds need to find a place to live, and they've got 1 years notice.

The 25 year old moved out in January.

Currently, we are closing on the sale of our 4280 sqft home on July 9th, and closing on the purchase of a 2675 sqft home on June 19th. We are looking forward to living on only one floor. No more steps!

The 23 year old is putting his stuff in a 10x15 rented storage room and setting off on a 2-3 month car tour of the U.S. in about a week. He'll be visiting family, friends, and places and things he wants to see and do. He'll get a place when he comes back.

 

[pb4uski]

You did what my sister did... she nudged them out of the nest by selling the nest.

 

[flyingaway]

I would have sold my big house if it is easy. I want to do this only once after I find my retirement friendly house. Selling house is stressful.

 

[latexman]

Selling house is stressful.

DW and I have moved 11 times, owned 6 houses (soon to be 7), lived in 5 states and 3 countries. Moving is a process we are very familiar with. I agree, it is stressful.

 

[Ronstar]

No big family here - but we're keeping our oversized house (for now) to host extended family holiday gatherings.

OP - If I were you, I would keep your house for a while. Re-evaluate after you retire when you'll know more how each option would best fit your retirement lifestyle.

 

[kimcdougc]

DH and I downsized from a 4 bedroom 2.5 bath house 2 years ago. We are currently renting an 800 square foot "Open concept" house. It has 2 bedrooms and 1 bath. We are only suppose to rent this house till we find another dream home, but we currently are very comfortable here. No room for the kids to move back in but have a guest room.

Small yard to work in. It a lock and leave place. We might get more serious about looking for a forever home when the prices of housing comes down a little. Until then we are ok with where we are at.

The west coast homes are very costly right and we don't know if we want to move more south and east yet or not. Kids are here on the West coast.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

My opinion is that there is no way I would want to deal with maintenance/costs associated with a house bigger than 3000 SF....and that's really too big for me. My "perfect" house would be about 1500-1800 SF, especially if it's likely that it will be our last home.

If family wants to visit, they can stay in a number of nice hotels that are close by. We do have a guest room, so we *can* accommodate a guest or two, but I am not going to spend money every month in increased taxes/upkeep/utilities so every Tom, Dick, and Harry has a place to crash once every 3 years.

My years in the military taught me all about moving...and it sucks. I get it. BUT...my Dad is good example. He is 90 years old and is "aging" in his forever home. It's not a huge house, but now that he has significant lung disease, we had to move his bed into the "recreation room" which is near the kitchen, 1/2 bath, basically the "center of the house. It is 80 feet of walking from the master bedroom to the living area, and it would take him 20 minutes to get between the two. Mind you, this is in a single story home with NO steps and doorways that are wide enough for a wheelchair...designed with getting old in mind...but it's still too big. And that's "only" 2400 SF.

 

[Amethyst]

We love having a roomy house and private yard. But we also enjoy renting a small vacation home now and then, where the housework consists of cleaning the little kitchen every night and vacuuming the other 600 square feet a few times a week. Oh, and cleaning the single bathroom.

When we lived in the UK, we rented a 1200-square-foot top-floor flat, and loved it. Out every weekend with no yard work to return to. But we also missed our home...badly. It is nice not to have a common entry, common spaces where you have to see your neighbors, share an elevator, etc.

 

[brett]

My wife was desperate to downsize in retirement. She was fed up with three levels, four full bathrooms, bedrooms, a living room, dining room, and den that were never used etc.

When we did it we also changed our lifestyle. You need to want to do it. The potential savings in operating costs was not the driver.

 

[45th Birthday]

In the course of a few years after our two kids graduated from college and well before any SO's or grandkids would be in the picture, we essentially traded our 4,200 sf family house in the Midwest and 2,400 sf summer place for a 5,600 sf family house in the summer place location and 3,500 sf (4,800 including covered outdoor spaces)in Florida. A large increase in space, and some increase in cost. We are very happy with the decision. We probably won't keep the large house until we die, but hope to enjoy it with the family for a few more decades at least.

 

[mountainsoft]

When we built our house in 2004 we UPSIZED to 1456 sq/ft. Before that we lived comfortably in a 784 sq/ft mobile home, and a 784 sq/ft apartment before that. So our new house felt huge to us. Even 14 years later there hasn't been a day we wanted any more space. I suppose it depends on the layout, hallways, stairs, etc. waste a lot of space. I designed ours to be all one level, no hallways, 3 bedroom, 2 bath, wide doorways in case we ever need a wheelchair, curbless shower, etc. This is our forever home and we love it. Once our daughter moves out it will feel like a mansion.

 

[joeea]

If I argue $$, I could justify that having say an additional $25K/yr to throw at trips (family or other) by downsizing could be worth the losing the "big" house for everyone to stay/play?

In my experience, as we age there are increasingly few times when everyone actually chooses to "stay/play".

You get to decide how much the ability to host everyone on those rare occasions is worth.

(You could rent a rather nice place for a full-family vacation for that kind of money.)

 

[RunningBum]

My opinion is that there is no way I would want to deal with maintenance/costs associated with a house bigger than 3000 SF....and that's really too big for me. My "perfect" house would be about 1500-1800 SF, especially if it's likely that it will be our last home.

I'm not clear what all extra costs and effort there is in a bigger house.

There's no denying it's a little more to heat and cool, though I just try to focus on controlling the temp of the room I'm in rather than the whole house.

My cleaning issue is with getting the vacuum cleaner out at all, not so much how much floor space I have to cover. And I only do a quick pass on the bedrooms I don't use unless I have company coming. Same with bathrooms.

I just don't think 3000 SF is twice the cost and effort that 1500 SF is. I have one kitchen to take care of either way. One bed that I sleep in that needs sheets changed regularly. And so on.

If I had to do it over again I'd have built a smaller house, but I really really like my house and I'm not going to downsize just because that's what people tend to do.

Now, the OP has a pool, and that's a different animal, but you could probably close or even fill in a pool if that's the decider.

 

[Breedlove]

Realestate Taxes , Houston / Cypress 1900 sf home 300.00 Mo
Realestate Taxes , Grimes County 900 sf home 11 acres 78.00 Mo


More money left over to play

 

[SumDay]

We struggled with this in 2015, as I outlined here: http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f29/we-downsized-and-are-still-married-80360.html


It was tough, but we say all the time we're glad we did what we did, when we did it. The stress of looking around and seeing all the stuff that should be, or soon should be fixed drove us both crazy.


I was initially afraid the kids wouldn't want to come visit (I think they liked having their significant others sleep in their childhood bedrooms ) but that has not been the case. There's lots to like about where we moved, and they take it all in when they're here. And they don't get asked to help us move something, or reach something or fix something each time they come.


We still have ~4 bedrooms, but it's cozy when they're both here. And someday, should we get grandkids, we decided if it's too tight, we'll just spring for hotels for the several nights a year they're here.


I have hosted 17 for sit down Thanksgiving dinner, but that meant no one could come & go through the front door. They were a captive audience. You just learn to make do with less space (and STUFF!).


Good luck - you can do it!

 

[Teacher Terry]

I was really sick of cleaning a bigger home. It takes time. Now I can clean much faster.