Downsizing dilemma

[karen1972]

Nothing wrong with looking what is out there. Either you'll find something just as good or better and love it or you won't and then be happy with what you have.

My honey told me there was NO WAY we would ever move to a 55+ community, and then we went to visit a new development and all of a sudden he was on board. I knew once he saw the 37,000 SQ FT clubhouse and realized we had everything we ever wanted but zero of the maintenance, he would change his mind.

 

[foxfirev5]

While our expenses for our two homes are substantial, purely financial analysis is totally inadequate. We saved and wheeled and dealed for decades to get our dream house 23 years ago. Then we built our lakehouse 17 years ago. Years ago we never thought this would happen in Michigan of all places, However we've put down roots.

During the big downturn we contemplated a downsizing move to Florida. Love to visit so why not move there. Not so fast. I manipulated a job transfer and worked there for three years. We then found out that it's not our cup of tea for most of the year. After a couple of other experiments and we discovered we like where we are.

As far as downsizing goes I can't find any solution. Every new place we look at would cost more than our current home value. New property taxes would exceed the current level of our two houses. Add in transaction costs and the decision is easy. Stay here in a nicer home and save the appreciating lakehouse as a largely nontraceable asset.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

I'm not clear what all extra costs and effort there is in a bigger house.

There's no denying it's a little more to heat and cool, though I just try to focus on controlling the temp of the room I'm in rather than the whole house.

My cleaning issue is with getting the vacuum cleaner out at all, not so much how much floor space I have to cover. And I only do a quick pass on the bedrooms I don't use unless I have company coming. Same with bathrooms.

I just don't think 3000 SF is twice the cost and effort that 1500 SF is. I have one kitchen to take care of either way. One bed that I sleep in that needs sheets changed regularly. And so on.

If I had to do it over again I'd have built a smaller house, but I really really like my house and I'm not going to downsize just because that's what people tend to do.

I may have missed it, but I don't recall saying that it would cost DOUBLE. Yeah..I took a look and I did not say that.

I have nothing against people who want a 3000 or even 10000 square foot house. You don't see the extra costs? Uh...well, around here, the property taxes alone are about $1 per square foot. Of course, this is a generalization, but it's not too far off. So, the difference 1800 SF and 3000 SF? That math is easy. Insurance. My Dad's house is about 500 SF more than mine and he pays about $300 more a year...the houses are very similar in construction, in the same zip code and we have almost identical coverage. Is there a difference in our risk profile? Probably, but probably not $300 worth. Anyway...the fact is that bigger houses will normally have higher carrying costs than a smaller house.

More specifically *for me* is the cleaning. Yes, when you are young and spry...vacuuming 3000 SF may not be a huge deal. When you aren't so young? Well, you can figure that out as well.

 

[Bamaman]

We find keeping a big house clean is easier than a much smaller house. All the "stuff" is spread out in a big house. Although we have 5 bathrooms, we really just use 2 of them regularly. Much of the cleaning efforts are in the kitchen, and big vs. small is about the same.

I have a cordless Shark Vacuum--the best thing since sliced bread. I spend 5 minutes a day cleaning up behind the dog/cat daily with little energy expended.

We are very fortunate in Alabama as we have no property taxes since my wife is disabled.

Bigger houses get you on utilities. We average just over $300 for electricity, water and natural gas. We are paying about 10 cents a kwh for electricity. Many places pay twice that for electricity. Thus biggest utility bill was $777 in February--ouch!

In our case, everything is paid for. That is the racer's edge to living like we want in the larger house.

 

[Katsmeow]

We have downsized in stages. FWIW, DH and I have 3 children (none of them have children yet). DH has 3 children and many grandchildren and great grandchildren from his first marriage.

We used to have a 4400 SF house plus a guest house. It was a great house when we had 6 people living there. We used it all. But it was very expensive to maintain. If we hired someone to clean it, the cost was astronomical. If we cleaned it ourselves, it took a lot of time. Utilities were high. Being a large house that was nice it had high taxes.

Also, every time you did work it cost more money simply because of how much of X was needed. Recarpeting the upstairs was expensive because it was a large upstairs. Repainting was expensive because there were a lot of walls to be painted. And, so on. Everything was big. Lots of lights to burn out, etc.

So when we were down to 4 people at home we moved. We ended up in a house that was about 3000 SF. It was a great house. Our utilities were less money. Paying for someone to clean it was still expensive, but was much better than in the first house. When we put in hardwood floors it was much less money than it would have been in the other house because the house was smaller.

When DH and I were cleaning the house ourselves we could do it more quickly. Most of the time if someone visited we could accommodate them, occasionally having someone sleep on the sofa. But, really, we didn't usually have a huge number of people at one time. It worked out. But, even if someone had had to stay in a hotel occasionally, that would have been OK.

Now it is just DH and I at home together. We are moving into our new house over the next few days. It is 2300 SF. The prior owner told me what she was paying for someone to clean her house weekly. It is finally at a low enough amount as to make it something where I think it is possible to regularly do. Even if I choose not to do that, the house is much smaller so much easier to clean.

And, being smaller it will cost less to paint it, put in new flooring, etc. True, we won't have room for all of our kids to simultaneously spend the night. But, even our 4400 SF house wouldn't have allowed that.

I get too many benefits from the smaller house to let the possibility of guests (even wanted guests) dictate my living environment for the vast majority of the time when I won't have simultaneous overnight guests.

 

[albireo13]

We are a blended family with 5 kids and had a 4500 sqft house, large yard, pool, 5 acres in NH. Great for raising kids and animals (chickens, turkeys, cats, dogs, flying squirrels, etc). Now the youngest is 21yo in college and we just downsized to 1800 sqft house with a smaller yard bordering conservation land. Much nicer. Only problem is it is still 2-story with lots of stairs and has a steep driveway. We are thinking maybe one more move. Would love a 1 level house (ranch) on a flat piece of land.


Moving is expensive but, it forces you to declutter and start simplifying your life.

 

[DrRoy]

How much time would you spend travelling vs. time hosting family?
How well can you afford the cost of the large home?
Travel often declines as we get really old.

 

[Out of Steam]

7K square feet? Half that size is still a very substantial house, though a lot of houses have too many small rooms.

I'm big, tall, and somewhat claustrophobic, so a room smaller than 10 X 13 or so is basically a closet to me. I'd take fewer big rooms.

 

[brett]

We downsized for lifestyle reasons, not financial reasons.

But since downsizing we have found that the cost of turning the key has gone down by about $8K year. Perhaps even more-that number is conservative. That saving is net the HOA fees on our current home that covers all gardening and snow removal. Much easier to lock and go now.

The bigger benefit though is that we have less to concern ourselves with. Less property, less maintenance, less everything. Not to mention the large investment that we would be looking at in replacing a huge cedar shingle roof and most of the windows/skylights.

 

[Dancer373]

I moved to a larger place on 4 acres in anticipation of having the kids (2) and grandkids (4) around quite a bit. That lasted until the grandkids started reaching their teen years and would rather be with their "friends". I'm now moving to a much smaller place with a community pool, tennis court and plenty of places/things to do in town. I have a spare room they are all welcome to use when the come to visit (60 miles away from their homes). I'm going to enjoy the new community with plenty of things to do for ME

 

[Sunset]

I moved to a larger place on 4 acres in anticipation of having the kids (2) and grandkids (4) around quite a bit. That lasted until the grandkids started reaching their teen years and would rather be with their "friends". I'm now moving to a much smaller place with a community pool, tennis court and plenty of places/things to do in town. I have a spare room they are all welcome to use when the come to visit (60 miles away from their homes). I'm going to enjoy the new community with plenty of things to do for ME

Exactly, I imagined we would have family visit often, so kept a spare room available.
Well they turned out not to visit often, but wanted us to make the long distance trek.
So our spare room has become a junk room...
Next place will be based solely on our needs/desires, and if family visit and there is no room, I'll have a list of reasonable hotels nearby.

 

[Teacher Terry]

In our 1400 sq ft home I have cleaners once a month and maintain in between. I am so much happier. My office is also our guest room.

 

[W2R]

(What I think are key words put in bold, by me)

I suppose some of you have dealt with this. You have a large family (in my case 4 kids) who are/planning on having kids (1st grandkid on the way) and still own the family home (larger, has all the accommodations if kids/grandkids visit... pool, big finished basement, everything sized for more peeps). Additionally, home has been transformed over the years to meet all mine and my wife's personal creature comforts (i.e. professional kitchen, wine room, outside kitchen/fireplace) so we have certain things we hate to give up or would want to replicate in a smaller home, should we downsize. So the dilemma... when I look at all the related costs to keeping a 7K SF of house up and running/maintained and compare that with the potential savings of a downsize, it looks like real money. On the flip side, this is "home" to us and our kids and has all the space to invite everyone over. If I argue $$, I could justify that having say an additional $25K/yr to throw at trips (family or other) by downsizing could be worth the losing the "big" house for everyone to stay/play? My RE launch is scheduled for end of 2019 and I go back and forth with stay or go. Any of you with bigger families resolve this without any regrets??

At some point your kids will move out if they haven't already, and when they visit they may prefer to stay in a nearby motel where they have some privacy, or at least they may not object to doing that. "Home" to them will probably be their own home after they move out, not your home.

My own parents moved and downsized during the spring of my senior year in high school, while I was staying with my older brother and SIL. I have great memories of their large home and love looking through old photographs of it, but honestly I didn't care at all that they moved because I "had a life" and was busy living it. I would be surprised if your kids didn't feel the same.

It sounds to me like you have firmly decided that you do not want to move no matter what. There is nothing at all wrong with wanting to stay in your big home! You are the one who earned the money to pay for it, after all. The only catch here is that you just have not admitted to yourself that it is YOU, not the family, that is keeping you from downsizing. If I were you, I'd just accept that I would be devastated if I had to move, that I want to stay there, and then I'd stay there and tell anyone who disagreed with my decision to buzz off.* Problem solved.



* (Actually I'd not say that, but instead I'd just raise an eyebrow, communicating the same thing, and change the subject.)

 

[RobbieB]

That's always been my opinion too. If you like your house and the location stay.

Don't "downsize" because it's trendy. Downsize if you want to or you have to (heaven forbid)

 

[ncbill]

I don't plan to downsize.

Our 3/3, two-story town-home is cheap to own/maintain.

I plan to do what many of our aging neighbors have done and remodel the master bath for one-level living by replacing the garden tub with a walk-in shower & adding a stacked washer/dryer (current laundry room is downstairs)

 

[bigcmagor]

One of my partners downsized by a couple thousand square feet. By the time he paid the fees for selling the larger house and brought the smaller one up to his standards, it was a wash financially. At least the ownership costs were less going forward.


We plan to keep the 3200 sq ft house we built 29 years ago and raised the kids in. On our case, the kids appreciate being able to "touch base" with their childhood home and we think we see more of them than we would otherwise.

 

[athena53]

One of my partners downsized by a couple thousand square feet. By the time he paid the fees for selling the larger house and brought the smaller one up to his standards, it was a wash financially. At least the ownership costs were less going forward.

We found that, too, and it's a worthy caveat. Three years later, though, I love the new place and have no regrets.

We live in a LCOL area so McMansions such as the one we sold are relatively affordable. My concern was that as the owners of those McMansions aged, more and more of them would put them on the market and the pool of buyers would be scarce. Apparently it hasn't happened here yet, but I'm still glad to be in a smaller place.

 

[always_learning]

*snip*
So the dilemma... when I look at all the related costs to keeping a 7K SF of house up and running/maintained and compare that with the potential savings of a downsize, it looks like real money. On the flip side, this is "home" to us and our kids and has all the space to invite everyone over. If I argue $$, I could justify that having say an additional $25K/yr to throw at trips (family or other) by downsizing could be worth the losing the "big" house for everyone to stay/play? My RE launch is scheduled for end of 2019 and I go back and forth with stay or go. Any of you with bigger families resolve this without any regrets??

Add me to the chorus of staying in your home if that's what you want to do.

Moving would only make sense if you needed the extra cash from a downsize.

If you are only keeping the home to 'invite everyone over', then that's a different story. Adult kids move, have to take care of their own houses/yards on the weekends, grandkids grow up and get involved with weekend activities (sports?) and friends, so keeping a large house to have room for everyone does not make sense. If you stay, be sure you are staying for *you* and just say to heck with any naysayers.

If you are on the fence about it, price out what a move would cost and include additions to your new place (pool, outdoor kitchen, etc). If the savings (you said $25k a year) is worth it, then go ahead and downsize. As others said, there are hotels, extended stays, etc, for visiting guests if a smaller place won't accommodate everyone.

My parents have 1400 sqft and 2 baths and there are six of us adults in there for a week over Christmas. We make it work and it's fun. Air mattresses are actually quite comfy!!

 

[always_learning]

We found that, too, and it's a worthy caveat. Three years later, though, I love the new place and have no regrets.

We live in a LCOL area so McMansions such as the one we sold are relatively affordable. My concern was that as the owners of those McMansions aged, more and more of them would put them on the market and the pool of buyers would be scarce. Apparently it hasn't happened here yet, but I'm still glad to be in a smaller place.

This is where we are, too ~~ LCOL and a I guess we're in a McMansion. What I'm seeing is the pool of buyers is smaller than when we bought a decade ago. The younger folks are wanting a minimal house in a kitchy area. That's not where we are. We area in a fabulous location that is close to shopping and the biggest employer in the area, so I'm hoping that will help when we're ready to sell, but I do admit that I'm a bit nervous.

We have always intended to move out of state as soon as we retire, so the costs of selling/buying are moot for us, but yes, it is definitely an important aspect to consider. If we intended to stay in this area, we would not sell even though we only use less than half the house now that the kids are gone.