the view I adopted very young was that the woman should decide on children and how many. My wife never wanted children, and I was ok with that.
You might think that way! But the view I adopted fairly young was that I wasn't that into having kids, but that if I married a man who really wanted kids, I would have them. It turns out I married a man who felt very strongly about
not having kids, so he got his way! I just didn't feel strongly enough to have them anyway. That ole maternal instinct just never kicked in.
Regrets - none. I don't really spend time thinking about this causing problems as I age. I didn't miss kids. I'm not missing grandkids. I never had extra "time on my hands", so it's hard to see what I'm missing. Frankly, I don't see how parents do it!
I spend a lot of time around people in their 60s and 70s, and they are busy living their lives sans grandchildren. Sure, they talk about them, and they visit them, and occasionally have them visit, but they are mostly out doing their own thing and spending time with other adults. Not too many people sitting around with "time on their hands". We're around a lot of snowbirds, and you just don't see many grandchildren around and if they visit it's pretty temporary. And there are many communities around here that are 55+ and have severe restrictions about children guests.
Now, why do you think 55+ communities would be so popular if most grandparents wanted their grandchildren around most of the time? I get the feeling that many like to be away from them for extended periods. I also get the distinct feeling that part of the appeal of snowbirding is getting away from immediate family and spending time with other adults for extended periods!
Audrey