Thanks for your thoughtful post. Perhaps you are on to something. I think it's time for a physical.
I intended this thread as a fun "what would you do if everything went to hell" type fantasy. I am not looking to ditch him, but the butthead stuff was getting out of control. I do appreciate all the thoughtful and well meaning advice I have been receiving.
Congrats on a new definition of light-hearted.
Not sure what I would do if I were you, but I think I know what I would do if I were DH. Some men are not amused by threats, so one may be your last.
Ha
+1. That is an outstanding suggestion. Good for anyone at any age, but especially in this case. There could easily be a physical reason for his being difficult, and it could be easily curable. No guarantees, of course, but it's quite possible (and not uncommon).
Best of luck.
50% of those assets is way mo' than plenty enough for me
I've thought about it for pretty much the same reason you're thinking about it.I'm not sure where to put this. This is motivated by DH being a butthead over the last 6 months or so. My 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up next month, so for my first 37 years I was single. We have no children. No, there are no plans for divorce right now, but I did threaten, not an idle threat, that I would walk if this continued.
So, if your assets were cut in half, what would you do? In our case this would be a portfolio of 2.5M and a house in the 650-700K? range. Dividing those assets would really change the retirement plan for me. This is meant as a light hearted thread. Would you join the Peace Corp? Go back to work? Take in a roommate? Move abroad? Move to a small town somewhere?
Tama !Talaga...
Interesting question. A "clean" divorce (marital assets split down the middle) would be a blow to my finances for sure, but I think that I would be able to recover without going back to w*rk. First, if I would move back to Europe because, without my wife, that's where the center of my social circle would shift. The move would immediately cut my expenses by a substantial amount. I already own a condo there (non-marital asset), so I would not have to buy a new home (I will gladly leave the US house to DW). And my half of all marital assets would still throw a passive income substantially higher than the average earned income in many Western European countries. So it would not be a huge disaster. Of course if lawyers get involved, then all bets are off.
That's for sure. Thank heavens, for my (uncontested) divorce back in 1998, the lawyer only charged us $250. It can be SO much worse.....I just cannot believe that previously good people have all suddenly turned evil. It's that when divorce is involved, half is not equal to 50% for some reason. Divorce is strangely reminiscent of The Twilight Zone.
I could actually live more easily on half WITHOUT my darling hubby than WITH him. I could happily move to a cheaper location (out of the country possibly) or maybe a maintenance free condo or apartment, and this is not an option in dh's opinion.
This is why one of my core financial beliefs has always been to be worth more alive than dead. Once that ratio changes there's no telling what might happen. No need for any unnecessary motivations ...If he has life insurance you could consider killing him with bacon. As far as I know it is not illegal to kill your husband with fattening food in any state in the U.S. Also probably more fun being a widow than a divorcee- ha.
Congrats on a new definition of light-hearted.
Not sure what I would do if I were you, but I think I know what I would do if I were DH. Some men are not amused by threats, so one may be your last.
Ha
My take on this (and many interpersonal relationships).... It's easier to change your reaction to a someone's behavior sometimes than to change their behavior.... In this case - if you DH is being a butthead - find a way to not get upset by it...go to another room, laugh it off, ignore him, whatever.... Just don't let his behavior bum you out. You can't control him - but you can control your reactions to him.
I also notice you were married late... I can relate to that - got married at 38, DH was 47 at the time... first marriage for both of us... It can be challenging to merge behaviors/lifestyles when you have two established adults stuck in their ways... I keep reminding myself of this (16 years later) if DH does something that rubs me the wrong way.
As for what I'd do if assets were split... My investible assets are much smaller than yours - but I live in a pricey place... plus we have kids under roof... If I were free of DH and kids I'd get a condo for 1/2 the price of our house - and I'd do some serious travel... I'd want to try living in Italy for a month or two to put my italian skills to use (I'm in my 3rd semester of college Italian classes.)