It's worse than you think.
I've lived all over the world so I can remember winter weather from just about any time zone. But my clearest memory is shoveling the driveway for the 99th time in February 1977 and adding the stuff to a nine-foot pile along the perimeter. I believe the Ohio River froze that winter and the Duquesne power plant "days of coal remaining" deathwatch got down to single digits before the coal barges literally broke through. I swore that I'd spend the rest of my life in warmer climes, and the Navy eventually fulfilled the promise.
We used to pull out of Pearl Harbor (wearing sunscreen), head north, and spend weeks listening to the icepack overhead. The troops cleaned the bilges with icepicks. It'd be so cold that seawater inlet temperature would be 28 degrees-- four degrees below freezing. I did a MEDEVAC in Adak, AK, where the windchill was 50 below and the snow "fell" horizontally. And then there was refitting & five-hour surface transits from Holy Loch, Scotland wearing full exposure suits. So, no, I think I have enough memories to last even through my ER, and I'll happily gorge on filet mignon & lobster. (Actually it's fresh ahi & mahi-mahi with all the ripe citrus we can pick.)
But the best vengeance is living to watch your kids suffer. Our 12-year-old is full of newfound independence (as long as we're paying for it) and she's thrilled to have a school field trip-- to Washington DC-- in February. We've been happily going through closets & attics to find long-forgotten clothing like gloves, ski hats, coats, and long underwear. Just as comprehension begins to dawn in her eyes, she talks with her 7th-grade classmates (also born & raised in Hawaii, with parents who have never lived in winter) and comes home to announce that all she needs is a sweatshirt and a jacket.
The chaperones aren't much better. At one parents' meeting they asked us to help decide between an evening theater performance and a concert on the Mall. I asked them "Is this concert outdoors?" They said "Sure! Oh."
So last week, while we were assembling fundraising bentos in the school's kitchen, we tried to persuade our kid to spend some time in the walk-in freezer (at 8 degrees F). She declined but she's starting to "get it". After all, if it's such a good deal for her, why aren't Mom & Dad chaperoning?
And it's not like it never snows here. What, haven't we all heard of the Mauna Kea Snowboard Championships?
http://starbulletin.com/2001/12/18/news/story6.html
Here's a handy guide to recognizing winter in Hawaii:
- You have to close the windows at night. Some of them have rusted in their tracks in the open position.
- You have to put a blanket on the bed. You can't find one.
- You realize that your house doesn't have insulation but it does have plenty of air leaks. Then you realize that you should close the door, too.
- Locals wear mismatched sweaters & sweatshirts with sharp creases that smell like mothballs. (The clothing, not the creases or the locals.)
- You fondly remember August's Kona weather when the sweat was running down the back of your neck as you lay panting in bed at 2 AM.
- The sun doesn't rise some mornings until after 7 AM.
- The surf temperature craters down to the low 70s.
- It rains two or three inches a week.
- You try to close the window in your car and the track is crammed with dirt & debris. If you park outdoors, your car actually has dew on it. You realize that your heater and your defroster don't work.
- You have to turn the car's vent thermostat from the blue zone to that red-line thingy. It takes forever to warm up.
- Grocery stores run out of hot chocolate & marshmallows.
- Matson Shipping Lines delivers the first container of Christmas trees. People line up for hours to get the "first one".
- Santa paddles onto Waikiki beach accompanied by hula dancers. He doesn't wear gloves because he's making shaka signs with his hands.
- Neighborhood kids start wearing pants (not shorts) to school. With shoes, not slippers. And long socks!
- Your kid asks if they have to cancel school when the temperature drops below 60.
- Once or twice a year when it gets down in the 50s, cops actually patrol the beaches making sure people aren't sleeping outdoors and dying from exposure.
- Workers rush indoors from the parking lot instead of dawdling outside.
- Radio stations actually have to print out & read the weather report. TV meteorologists can't just replay yesterday's report for the 100th time.
- Big Island snow gets more newsprint than Kilauea lava flows.
- And last but definitely not least, the North Shore surf gets gnarly enough that you have to watch it from across the road with your car windows rolled up. People don't just get knocked off their boards, the boards get snapped into pieces. The Eddie Aikau Memorial surf contest holds its opening ceremony and waits for Waimea Bay to get to at least 20 feet. The pros paddle in (without watercraft!) and wear helmets.
http://www.istc.org/sisp/?fx=event&event_id=43504
One plane ticket and about 10 hours-- that's all it takes! But bring sunscreen.