Haha sorry I kept meaning to log in and update you all but didn't have time with a super hectic weekend. I'm on a short break at work now, thought I should post my very delayed update.
It didn't go super great, the Mrs was quite overwhelmed but she agreed it was an issue for our lifestyle and what we want for the future. We're going through all the credit card bils the next few weeks, starting 30 days back and then 6 months back. Our bgigest issues are 1) fancy travel and 2) eating out and 3) luxury one time expenses. The $2k VIP San Diego Zoo tour, the $10k ebike to haul the kids, the $800 fly fishing guide along with $800/nt 5 star hotel, it all adds up quick. ALso it turned out I miscategorized some stuff and our expenses were 310k, 160k of that was credit card. 50k mortgage. 50k nanny with taxes. She's looking at whether we can transition to much cheaper childcare for the little one. 25k for private school that goes away when the almost 6 year old goes to public kindergarden.
We both agreed that a spending pause for 30 days is a good idea to reset out expectations a bit, and I'm learning to cook and made a commitment not to eat out for 30 days for myself (We made pizza as a family this weekend, came out terrible, but oh man everyone had fun and the kdis made an awesome mess and had a blast). I placed a hold on some of the book recommendations above at the library, whereas normally I'd automatically go buy on Amazon
We decided not to pause Amazon Prime, it's such a small expense relatively, but we agreed to every day look back at our spending and see if it was needed and added to our life or if we could have done without.
We need to work out what to do with the traveling, we love it and we don't want to stop that. I had a big shingdig planned for the whole family and grandparents, etc in Grand Cayman later in the Fall (huge house on the beach and paying for most people's flights) that I've put on ice for now. That would have been a 20+k expense for 7 days. The cars are already paid for, and that damage is done, so I'm going to just let it be and not trade out for the minivan right now.
Can't thank everyone enough for their advice. I owe it to re-read all the comments again after work today.
Have a great day all! And if there's more advice/tips, we'll be glad to take them!