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- Nov 17, 2015
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Boy, groceries are waaay too high for that size of family!
$1200 a month for a family of 4, in a HCOL area, in 2023? Doesn't seem like that's a big deal.
Boy, groceries are waaay too high for that size of family!
You're right, the keeping up thing is so nefarious. I had an awesome used Toyota Matrix in 2013 that I traded up for a used Camry in 2017 which then I traded up for a used Tesla. Now I wish I just kep the Matrix all along, I don't know what validation I Was seeking with the cars. I've been shopping for used minivans (WAY awesomer than an SUV, we rented one off Turo on our recent vacation and my wife and I both were stunned how much we liked it compared to the SUV) and considering selling the Tesla and getting an ebike that I can commute with for the 4 miles to work. I paid 60k for the Tesla and 40k for the SUV, now their values are 20k and 30k respectively Still would get us ahead to sell them and trade in for a minivan.
Some of the lyrics...
The world was like an Amoco and I said "Fill er up!"
With a house, a car, a VCR, a lawn and all that stuff
But I got a nagging notion that enough did not exist
And at the end of every day I'd wonder "is this all there is?"
But I'm waking up, but I'm waking up
I'm waking up from the American Dream
It seemed that the beginning of the dream was so benign, I mean
All I ever wanted was a smidgen of the pie
And some comfort and security and good things for my kids
And, OK, to please the neighbors and my ego while I did
Anyway, it's great to be awake and feeling satisfied
With seeking out the simple and the deeper things in life
Its not what you make.,. Its what you keep that counts.
Some people can juggle those balls and live large... I had a BIL that seemed to do that... but when he passed we found out that my sister was not in as good a place as she thought... BIL was just fine with his lifestyle and died before the bill came to roost...
Yeah, BFF was explaining to me one day how he juggled his bills. This one could slide a month. That one had a penalty, so had to be paid on time. Another one could be put on a CC which gave another month before he had to worry about paying the minimum, etc., etc. It made me dizzy thinking about it. I told him "I couldn't live like that." He just chuckled and said "I've been living like that most of my life."
Oh interesting, thanks for sharing. I'm curious, how long did it take you to turn it all around?
$1200 a month for a family of 4, in a HCOL area, in 2023? Doesn't seem like that's a big deal.
Haha sorry I kept meaning to log in and update you all but didn't have time with a super hectic weekend. I'm on a short break at work now, thought I should post my very delayed update.
It didn't go super great, the Mrs was quite overwhelmed but she agreed it was an issue for our lifestyle and what we want for the future. We're going through all the credit card bils the next few weeks, starting 30 days back and then 6 months back. Our bgigest issues are 1) fancy travel and 2) eating out and 3) luxury one time expenses. The $2k VIP San Diego Zoo tour, the $10k ebike to haul the kids, the $800 fly fishing guide along with $800/nt 5 star hotel, it all adds up quick. ALso it turned out I miscategorized some stuff and our expenses were 310k, 160k of that was credit card. 50k mortgage. 50k nanny with taxes. She's looking at whether we can transition to much cheaper childcare for the little one. 25k for private school that goes away when the almost 6 year old goes to public kindergarden.
A question I have is do people with this kind of income and lifestyle even actually do their own shopping for groceries? With a full time very expensive nanny, I'll bet the nanny does the shopping or placing online orders for groceries, etc.
I would wager the OP is also drowning in "hidden" monthly expenses like auto-paid subscription expenses that don't really appear anywhere but the credit card statement. Having cable, but then paying for Disney + for the kids, Hulu, hbo max etc., multiple gym/club memberships, the infamous subscription box delivery services, even overpriced cell service. I assisted a friend who was struggling to budget and just addressing those buried monthly charges saved him $800-900 a month. But what it really did was help make him more aware of how he was spending and develop a discipline while still enjoying the fruits of his labor. Dropping cable and using roku saved him $200/month by itself...the age old question of how do you eat an elephant...one bite at a time.
autonomousdog, you might enjoy this song since it sounds like you are Waking Up (from the American dream)...
Some of the lyrics...
The world was like an Amoco and I said "Fill er up!"
With a house, a car, a VCR, a lawn and all that stuff
But I got a nagging notion that enough did not exist
And at the end of every day I'd wonder "is this all there is?"
But I'm waking up, but I'm waking up
I'm waking up from the American Dream
It seemed that the beginning of the dream was so benign, I mean
All I ever wanted was a smidgen of the pie
And some comfort and security and good things for my kids
And, OK, to please the neighbors and my ego while I did
Anyway, it's great to be awake and feeling satisfied
With seeking out the simple and the deeper things in life
I'm encouraged that your first thought was to have a sit-down with your wife. If she's not on board, it won't happen. If she can see the advantages of saving more (spending less) then half the battle is done.
I think you have a big advantage over many in that you have a very good income. You can still indulge some passions and even a few frivolous expenditures without breaking the bank. I think it's important not to feel deprived. Simply setting priorities in spending may be all that is required to get you where you want to be.
Welcome to the forum and let us know how this is all going for you.
I think you can get the info you need to get started cutting back by looking at just the past 90 days of credit card bills.
If you really want to go back 2 years then get quicken and import and categorize.
But don't wait till that is done. Start now.
Also, if you can get DW involved that will pay dividends. Let her work on the Amazon card analysis, for example.
And as Disneysteve suggested, start tracking going forward.
With all the low hanging fruit in credit cards, you could begin by focusing on their use, rather then jumping into tracking everything.
Baby steps, get some quick wind and stay motivated. And keep talking with your wife, keep this on the table and keep her involved.
A question I have is do people with this kind of income and lifestyle even actually do their own shopping for groceries? With a full time very expensive nanny, I'll bet the nanny does the shopping or placing online orders for groceries, etc.
Since you asked, I thought back to what services I've used in the past 2 years that prolly cost a ton but may have been worth it. My goal at the time was to minimize unwanted chores and maximize time with family outside of work.
- Nanny also tidies up the house and cooks meals, folds laundry, when baby is napping. She'll take kids to apponitments, etc, too.
- We have a cleaner who comes 2x a month and occ on weekends, folds laundry, etc.
- Lawn maintenance service (considering Xeriscaping to avoid water waste and then we won't need lawn care anymore).
- Handyman who would come once every 1-2 months to fix stuff around the house (definitely stopping, I can do most of this stuff myself with Youtube and my 5 year old loves to use tools and help me).
- a delivery food service that dropped off a weeks worth of healthy plant based meals (learning to cook now, just need to get better at it)
- virtual assistant service to take care of "chores" like DMV registrations, booking doctor/dentist appointments, bookingflights and hotels, and responding to emails and voicemail - i'm on the fence, it's amazing not to have to deal with this crap when you're busy but i wnat to be less busy in life so i can slow down and do this myself).
- A pro car detailer to clean the cars every 4 months (this is going away for sure)
- Instacart and Whole foods delivery, this might be worth it for the $/time tradeoff, we'll do our own grocery shopping for now.
- Grubhub to the max when we were too lazy to cook/just wanted some yummy food out - going away as much as possible
- Nutrionist - was super helpful in getting me back on track with diet, I think worth the $. Subscription fee got me immediate access, could text her and she'd write back what I should get, answer questions, etc.
But like I said, everything else is on pause, except the house cleaner and nanny for now.
TBH I don't think the list of services you outsource is excessive. A few high-income professional families (especially for dual-income couples) I know outsource many of the services you listed because they are too busy with jobs and families.
Since you asked, I thought back to what services I've used in the past 2 years that prolly cost a ton but may have been worth it. My goal at the time was to minimize unwanted chores and maximize time with family outside of work.
- Nanny also tidies up the house and cooks meals, folds laundry, when baby is napping. She'll take kids to apponitments, etc, too.
- We have a cleaner who comes 2x a month and occ on weekends, folds laundry, etc.
- Lawn maintenance service (considering Xeriscaping to avoid water waste and then we won't need lawn care anymore).
- Handyman who would come once every 1-2 months to fix stuff around the house (definitely stopping, I can do most of this stuff myself with Youtube and my 5 year old loves to use tools and help me).
- a delivery food service that dropped off a weeks worth of healthy plant based meals (learning to cook now, just need to get better at it)
- virtual assistant service to take care of "chores" like DMV registrations, booking doctor/dentist appointments, bookingflights and hotels, and responding to emails and voicemail - i'm on the fence, it's amazing not to have to deal with this crap when you're busy but i wnat to be less busy in life so i can slow down and do this myself).
- A pro car detailer to clean the cars every 4 months (this is going away for sure)
- Instacart and Whole foods delivery, this might be worth it for the $/time tradeoff, we'll do our own grocery shopping for now.
- Grubhub to the max when we were too lazy to cook/just wanted some yummy food out - going away as much as possible
- Nutrionist - was super helpful in getting me back on track with diet, I think worth the $. Subscription fee got me immediate access, could text her and she'd write back what I should get, answer questions, etc.
But like I said, everything else is on pause, except the house cleaner and nanny for now.
TBH I don't think the list of services you outsource is excessive. A few high-income professional families (especially for dual-income couples) I know outsource many of the services you listed because they are too busy with jobs and families.