I know that when I take a step back and try to be objective, I am lucky because I’m in a good enough position in life to legitimately be considering (perhaps even starting?) the FIRE lifestyle and I won’t hit age 50 til next month.
But I have to tell ya, the current situation has me feeling really terrified for the future. I worry a little bit about catching the illness, and every time my throat feels a little scratchy, or I have a headache, I freak out and think I’ve caught the virus. But that fear is minor compared to the terror and confusion I feel about what to do about my future.
As of today, I am unemployed. First time I have ever been laid off. If the economy had been going swimmingly like it was in February, I would have said Hoorah! because I had already planned to hang it up in October, sell the house, and take a long trip to the west coast to figure out where to live. But now, I see my portfolio down $350K, I read all these forums, and articles about how the Dow will fall further, and I worry that all my investments will disappear.
So I think, maybe I should suck it up and work for another couple of years. I knew the lay-off was coming so I’ve been looking for a few weeks and applying for roles. No response, and I’m very qualified. These are not old roles, but ones that were recently posted. And I wonder whether it’s just employers being cautious (probably), or whether I’ve reached that age where employers aren’t interested (maybe). I work, or should I say worked, in HR, so I do know that there is already a bias against candidates who have been laid off, so I will have a strike against me. Realistically, it could take months and months to find employment, but still, the rejection/lack of response/inability to control my employment situation adds to the depression.
I’ve decided to get the house up for sale; maybe I can sell before the market falls apart, and take advantage when prices drop in the part of the country that interests me. But even that scares me now because I’ll end up having to rent when it’s cheaper to stay in my paid-for house. But if I stay put and prices plunge, I’ll be stuck in an area I hate. But is being someplace I hate with an affordable roof over my head better than living in a higher cost area when your retirement portfolio has just collapsed?
I really, really did not intend for this post to be so long. As you can tell, I am a worrier. A fatalist. I catastrophize. That’s what happens when I’m stuck at home all day with no job, no tennis, no hiking, no travel, no family or close friends within 1500 miles from me . I just need to figure out how to stay calm and optimistic, or at least let my brain stop worrying for a while.
But I have to tell ya, the current situation has me feeling really terrified for the future. I worry a little bit about catching the illness, and every time my throat feels a little scratchy, or I have a headache, I freak out and think I’ve caught the virus. But that fear is minor compared to the terror and confusion I feel about what to do about my future.
As of today, I am unemployed. First time I have ever been laid off. If the economy had been going swimmingly like it was in February, I would have said Hoorah! because I had already planned to hang it up in October, sell the house, and take a long trip to the west coast to figure out where to live. But now, I see my portfolio down $350K, I read all these forums, and articles about how the Dow will fall further, and I worry that all my investments will disappear.
So I think, maybe I should suck it up and work for another couple of years. I knew the lay-off was coming so I’ve been looking for a few weeks and applying for roles. No response, and I’m very qualified. These are not old roles, but ones that were recently posted. And I wonder whether it’s just employers being cautious (probably), or whether I’ve reached that age where employers aren’t interested (maybe). I work, or should I say worked, in HR, so I do know that there is already a bias against candidates who have been laid off, so I will have a strike against me. Realistically, it could take months and months to find employment, but still, the rejection/lack of response/inability to control my employment situation adds to the depression.
I’ve decided to get the house up for sale; maybe I can sell before the market falls apart, and take advantage when prices drop in the part of the country that interests me. But even that scares me now because I’ll end up having to rent when it’s cheaper to stay in my paid-for house. But if I stay put and prices plunge, I’ll be stuck in an area I hate. But is being someplace I hate with an affordable roof over my head better than living in a higher cost area when your retirement portfolio has just collapsed?
I really, really did not intend for this post to be so long. As you can tell, I am a worrier. A fatalist. I catastrophize. That’s what happens when I’m stuck at home all day with no job, no tennis, no hiking, no travel, no family or close friends within 1500 miles from me . I just need to figure out how to stay calm and optimistic, or at least let my brain stop worrying for a while.