Finding companions with similar interests

[MuirWannabe]

So, I’ve seen a few threads in the past on this topic. I searched and read a couple very old threads about meetup.com.

I like to backpack, adventure travel, hike, and also enjoy gambling occasionally in Vegas. DW will sometimes join me on these escapades, but usually somewhat reluctantly. I’m just more hardcore on these activities than she is, which is fine. She’s allowed to enjoy different things of course.

Other friends I have are either not retired or retired but also not interested. How can I meet new people who share these interests? I’ve just signed up with meetup.com. But the interests and group lists don’t seem to match up very well with my specifics. Still, I’ll give it a try and see. But I’m skeptical it will pan out to the point where I make 1-3 new friends who I could travel and long distance hike with for example.

The answer is probably there is no easy way. Making friends is difficult. Particularly when you have such specific needs such as:
- retired
- disposable income available for travel
- healthy enough for adventure travel
- personality fit

Has anyone else had success they can share? Thanks.

Muir

 

[Lewis Clark]

You could consider starting your own meetup group tailored to your specifics.

 

[Teacher Terry]

I have found meetup is good for meeting casual friends but I have not developed any deep ones. Fortunately my friends enjoy the things that I do.

 

[COcheesehead]

Hang out with your tribe and you are sure to make friends.

Attend seminars, classes, talks, expos, meetups, etc. I made a lot of friends in retirement by just “doing”.

A word of caution, maybe not be too tight on your perimeters. I still do a lot of stuff with people who have jobs or may not have as much money as me. I still have fun and enjoy them though they are different than me in some ways.

 

[Midpack]

So, I’ve seen a few threads in the past on this topic. I searched and read a couple very old threads about meetup.com.

I like to backpack, adventure travel, hike, and also enjoy gambling occasionally in Vegas. DW will sometimes join me on these escapades, but usually somewhat reluctantly. I’m just more hardcore on these activities than she is, which is fine. She’s allowed to enjoy different things of course.

Other friends I have are either not retired or retired but also not interested. How can I meet new people who share these interests? I’ve just signed up with meetup.com. But the interests and group lists don’t seem to match up very well with my specifics. Still, I’ll give it a try and see. But I’m skeptical it will pan out to the point where I make 1-3 new friends who I could travel and long distance hike with for example.

The answer is probably there is no easy way. Making friends is difficult. Particularly when you have such specific needs such as:
- retired
- disposable income available for travel
- healthy enough for adventure travel
- personality fit

Has anyone else had success they can share? Thanks.

Muir

From the start of our retirement, we forced ourselves to join in with every opportunity that came our way. If it didn't pan out, so what? I don't think there's any easy shortcut to "find friends" with (such) a narrow criteria. You will meet lots of people, most won't become good friends, but the matches are buried in there. We have had success finding real friends in retirement by joining many groups - at least 95% of the people we've met weren't a "match."

You have to be open, I understand the sentiment but going into it with a "I’m skeptical it will pan out" could make the effort a self fulfilling prophecy.

I've seen lots of opportunities for "backpack, adventure travel, hike" on bulletin boards at REI, and I am sure they exist in other outdoor stores. I have no idea how to find gambling buddies.

And it is harder to make friends the older we get because as we age our friends network becomes more established, and most people aren't (actively) looking for new friends. IOW you have to find them, they aren't looking for you...

 

[MuirWannabe]

From the start of our retirement, we forced ourselves to join in with every opportunity that came our way. If it didn't pan out, so what? I don't think there's any easy shortcut to "find friends" with (such) a narrow criteria. You will meet lots of people, most won't become good friends, but the matches are buried in there. We have had success finding real friends in retirement by joining many groups - at least 95% of the people we've met weren't a "match."

You have to be open, I understand the sentiment but going into it with a "I’m skeptical it will pan out" could make the effort a self fulfilling prophecy.

I've seen lots of opportunities for "backpack, adventure travel, hike" on bulletin boards at REI, and I am sure they exist in other outdoor stores. I have no idea how to find gambling buddies.

And it is harder to make friends the older we get because as we age our friends network becomes more established, and most people aren't (actively) looking for new friends. IOW you have to find them, they aren't looking for you...

You didn’t highlight my statement saying ‘Still, I’ll give it a try’. I’m giving it a try. I signed up yesterday and have accepted a lunch invitation to a local retired folks group. Can’t help being somewhat skeptical, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let that be self fulfilling prophecy.

You gave a possible good idea of checking with REI connections. I’ll see what might could be stirred up in that direction. This definitely isn’t easy. Thanks.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

Most of our friends have come from clubs. If you are at least 55, that is usually old enough to join senior clubs. Everyone is in the same boat, and looking for activities and other retired friends. They are pretty easy places to make friends, especially if you get involved in the sub groups, like hiking or dining out.

Before that we used to join activity clubs and co-ops, like camping and hiking groups.

 

[Sunset]

I think OP needs to separate the need of retired from the others. It seems it would be easier to find clubs or groups, for backpack, adventure travel, hike, etc without restricting them to retired.

Once in a club/group and doing things, OP might find there are some people in there that are retired, if not, then if the people are keen on the activity, example hiking, they may go for hikes every weekend or take some vacation days to hike. Either way OP can join.

As for the gambling, all I see at casinos are old folks wasting their day on the slot machines the very few times I went. I have no advice for that. <edit> I'm sensitive to gambling as I had a relative that spent too much of their money going to LV to gamble, then had money problems.

 

[Bamaman]

In my 30's, I was single and was an avid skier and scuba diver. We had local large clubs that we'd travel with to Aspen skiing--and all over Florida, Mexico and the Caribbean for diving.

But when I got married late in life and had a child, we had to get into sports that our daughter was in. And after a couple of broken legs, skiing and diving have fallen by the wayside.

We now are of real retirement age and just prefer to travel overseas to more interesting places--than in the U.S. We have avoided organized tours, but that'd be a good way to find others with the same interests.

My parents were part of a travel club in their 60's and 70's with 22 members. They went all over the world and formed very strong relationships in their love of travel. I never pictured my parents as wild and crazy, but those in the group were really full of life. We'll never see such a group of people again.

 

[MuirWannabe]

I think OP needs to separate the need of retired from the others. It seems it would be easier to find clubs or groups, for backpack, adventure travel, hike, etc without restricting them to retired.

Once in a club/group and doing things, OP might find there are some people in there that are retired, if not, then if the people are keen on the activity, example hiking, they may go for hikes every weekend or take some vacation days to hike. Either way OP can join.

As for the gambling, all I see at casinos are old folks wasting their day on the slot machines the very few times I went. I have no advice for that. <edit> I'm sensitive to gambling as I had a relative that spent too much of their money going to LV to gamble, then had money problems.

I agree with your point about not initially limiting things to only retired people. Ultimately, that’s mostly what I need, but I don’t have to start with that.

As for gambling, I’m not a slots guy. I enjoy going to Vegas couple times a year and playing craps and blackjack. Usually 3-4 days each visit and dealing in $5K or less totals. But DW doesn’t really like Vegas. Be nice to go with someone who does.

I also love to snow ski.

 

[Chuckanut]

Finding retired guy friends to do things with is always a hassle, especially if travel is involved. Most of my male buddies are either married, or have health conditions that preclude travel. A few traveled so much when they worked, then are done with airports, hotels, etc. In fact, in the case of most of the married ones, their wives often taken vacations, cruises, get-away weekends with their lady friends and relatives. As we age, health issues happen even to those of us who take good are of our health. And we men just seem to be more fragile in that area.

 

[MuirWannabe]

Finding retired guy friends to do things with is always a hassle, especially if travel is involved. Most of my male buddies are either married, or have health conditions that preclude travel. A few traveled so much when they worked, then are done with airports, hotels, etc. In fact, in the case of most of the married ones, their wives often taken vacations, cruises, get-away weekends with their lady friends and relatives. As we age, health issues happen even to those of us who take good are of our health. And we men just seem to be more fragile in that area.

Exactly. I’m 60 now. Still able to do these things but very aware that won’t last forever. Want to do what I can while I can.

 

[Chuckanut]

Exactly. I’m 60 now. Still able to do these things but very aware that won’t last forever. Want to do what I can while I can.

Women are smart. If they find a guy who has the health, time and money to travel they scoop him up. After that all he is available to do with buddies is play golf, fish, and go to a sporting event.

 

[MuirWannabe]

Women are smart. If they find a guy who has the health, time and money to travel they scoop him up. After that all he is available to do with buddies is play golf, fish, and go to a sporting event.

Ha. Well, count me out on that. Not looking for that kind of companion.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I also love to snow ski.

At least one, maybe two, of our local senior groups have ski sections.

 

[MarieIG]

My uncle liked high-end travel, my aunt didn't. So, with the ok from my aunt, my uncle took - my DF. My uncle liked first class and being driven around in a limo so he paid.

So, not sure if you have a relative who might want to pinch-hit on some of the trips if DW doesn't want to go? Brother, son, nephew?

I'm also thinking, you might need to find different companions for different activates. The Vegas buddy may not be the ski buddy; the biking buddy may not be the fishing buddy. Perhaps look for clubs for the sporting activities? Also, wives and girlfriends may limit, to a certain extent, a buddy's free time.

 

[W2R]

As everyone here knows, I don't like to travel.

But my parents sure did! One of the ways they met travel friends was while traveling, on cruise ships, on safari, or wherever. Then they kept in touch and would arrange future travel adventures with these friends.

I particularly remember one very congenial couple from M.I.T. that they met on a cruise ship. They went on 3-4 more transoceanic cruises with them, two long African safaris, and probably other adventures I've forgotten about.

It may be harder to meet travel friends this way in 2022, than it was in the 1950's but I just thought I'd suggest it in case the possibility arises.

 

[FreeBear]

I like to backpack, adventure travel, hike, and also enjoy gambling occasionally in Vegas. DW will sometimes join me on these escapades, but usually somewhat reluctantly. I’m just more hardcore on these activities than she is, which is fine. She’s allowed to enjoy different things of course.

Fortunately, DW and I have similar interests like hiking, road biking and kayaking, but, I'm more hard core. It's wonderful to have the company and share common passions in the outdoors.

I used to mountain bike single track trails, but DW's back precludes this. Instead of "just" hiking, I'd backpacked for as long as my paultry vacation permitted when w*rking. Loved the High Sierra. Got to take DW to Mineral King one day, day hike only, of course. I preferred kayaking rougher technical, even scary, conditions on "big water", but DW is done with that stuff, and prefers smaller and warmer venues. I hate it but we're slowing down as a couple and doing stuff solo or even with buddies most of the time wouldn't w*rk for us.

We still have all our higher-end gear, some decades old, but we don't go all out anymore. Most of our biking is just around the neighborhood, no more epic 50-70 mile rides on weekends. Still our neighborhood has a view of a national park! We kayak pretty mountain lakes or sunny protected bays; no more big scary stuff.

No more backpacking, although I can't seem to part with my old gear. Got an RV instead. We love walking around state park campgrounds checking out the rigs and chatting with friendly folks. Long ago I used to despise campgrounds and, especially, RV's, much preferring to get into the wilderness away from everyone to sleep on the ground and eat dried food and pasta. Times change.

Getting the RV was a watershed moment in terms of accepting the new normal for us as a couple. It's a good, sometimes great, life, but it is different from my past and different from my preconception of retirement. I hoped I could be retired and still 30 years old, both of us! At best, we have maybe 10 or so "go go" years, and we're planning to make the best of them, whatever that takes. Good luck on you search.

 

[pjm-7]

I use meetup.com a lot. Just over two years ago I moved to a town that I did not know anyone during a pandemic lockdown. The site helped my connect with like-minded people. I am very involved in a variety of volunteer activities. Volunteering is what I wanted to do with my retirement. I do very active activities. My hips aren't good for long hikes but am good for the shorter ones. I also go to some social events like coffees and wine tastings. The ages in the groups I am active in range from mid-30's to late 70's. I have made the friend connections.

 

[Ronstar]

So, I’ve seen a few threads in the past on this topic. I searched and read a couple very old threads about meetup.com.

I like to backpack, adventure travel, hike, and also enjoy gambling occasionally in Vegas. DW will sometimes join me on these escapades, but usually somewhat reluctantly. I’m just more hardcore on these activities than she is, which is fine. She’s allowed to enjoy different things of course.

Other friends I have are either not retired or retired but also not interested. How can I meet new people who share these interests? I’ve just signed up with meetup.com. But the interests and group lists don’t seem to match up very well with my specifics. Still, I’ll give it a try and see. But I’m skeptical it will pan out to the point where I make 1-3 new friends who I could travel and long distance hike with for example.

The answer is probably there is no easy way. Making friends is difficult. Particularly when you have such specific needs such as:
- retired
- disposable income available for travel
- healthy enough for adventure travel
- personality fit

Has anyone else had success they can share? Thanks.

Muir

I like to hike and do more adventurous things than the friends/DW I travel with. While traveling in a group or with DW, I will sometimes go solo for the day while my friends/ DW do something else. This works for me - I get some adventure in while keeping with my same travel group of friends. I’d rather do this than try to arrange or join a new group.

 

[Philliefan33]

Is there any opportunity to find a hobby job at an outdoorsy place, not for the $ but for making connections? My hobby job as a whitewater rafting guide connected me to people who kayak, hike, bike, and do all kinds of adventuring. DH will do warm-weather river trips and short rides, so we occasionally go out together. But for colder or bigger water, or longer bike rides, I have other buddies.

 

[Aerides]

I don't know if it's just my area but meetup looks useless to me here.

Everything in a 25 mile radius seems to be:

Single mingles, financial planner pitches, politics, linked-in networking bro-types, or 7am yoga on the beach.

(yes I know I could make my own, but if I were that outgoing I would not have the need to begin with, also that sounds like work)

 

[Lsbcal]

For guys there is perhaps a SIRS organizations in your region. I have recently linked up with one in my area and have taken a few leisurely strolls with the guys. Not for general conditioning (way to slow for me) but just for socializing. So far I've found the guys to be fun to talk to and generally well informed too. No politics is the policy.

They have various activities like golf (not for me), poker (might try), book club (might try), walking/hiking, group lunches, etc.

I've often times told DW I'm jealous of her ease at making friends. Seems women in our society naturally strike up talking groups and such. Guys not so much.

I am not looking for guys to mirror my interests because that would probably be a hard fit and if I want to do that I can just talk to myself.

 

[Sunset]

Perhaps joining a club that offers other social activites. My DM was in a University club and Church group, and it was basically a social event for her. However, sometimes they offered/sponsored travel
So for her, it was great as it meant she got to travel around the world without paying single "supplement" (extra fees). She found that many of the people who traveled to Fiji, also took the trip to Norway, etc..

It would take research to find a club that offers the activities now and then that OP is looking for, rather than a single purpose club.

 

[Katsmeow]

The answer is probably there is no easy way. Making friends is difficult. Particularly when you have such specific needs such as:
- retired
- disposable income available for travel
- healthy enough for adventure travel
- personality fit

Has anyone else had success they can share? Thanks.

As an introvert who has many interests that are not common among my age cohort, I undertstand the problem. Many of the suggestions have been great (I plan to steal some of them to try myself).

I can add one thing that may help. The problem with having specialized interests or requirements is that the likelihood you will run into someone similar at a local group is very small. Could happen.

I have found that sometime for those type of things it is easier to find people in online groups. For example, take this group. IRL, I don't know many people interested in the topics of this group. Here there are many.

I recently joined a FB group related to playing a video game I like and it was for people over the age of 50. Great! Theoretically I might find someone from that group who lived in my area or who I could play with online, etc. In your case you might find someone interested in your activities that meets your criteria.