Future home

[friar1610]

This is the third and last home we will own. When we retired and moved here I said even if we hate it here we are never moving again. Moving is exhausting and expensive and stressful!

But more than that, our requirements for this home was so we could age in it. So even though we are in our late 60’s I felt we had to plan for our 80’s. It’s just common sense and realistic.

I worked in home care and health care most of my life so I’ve seen it all, not to mention what I went through with my parents.

It’s not just getting older, it’s also as you get older physical changes, illnesses, etc. I was surprised with unexpected spine surgery this year. Thank goodness we had already downsized and moved 3 years ago to a one level small home because I couldn’t do it again physically!

Since we moved, the following people we knew have passed on: a man in his 50’s due to COVID; a neighbor 69- developed a rare disorder and was ill for years; my friend at 64 of pancreatic cancer- in one year she was dead ( thankfully she was in a 62 plus apartment) a former coworker at 62 from non smoking lung cancer- also in one year she was dead. Another neighbor had MS for years and yes- finally went into a nursing home and died there- in her 70’s. And last week my neighbor at 75- dropped dead of cardiac arrest. ( he had one lung).

So there you have it. I hope to never go into a nursing home or assisted living, but, yes, there’s no time like the present to prepare for the future. That’s why some people get long term insurance and life insurance and do estate planning.

I certainly hear you. When we moved here 10 years ago I said that was the last move I would actively participate in. By that I meant I would either be wheeled out feet first or be so out of it that someone else would be doing all the work of moving us to senior/nursing/memory care. Fortunately (knock on wood) neither has happened yet. But obviously things can change in a moment.

I spent 28 years in the Navy so I know what moving is like. It’s frankly a tossup whether or not I have another move in me.

 

[Jerry1]

We were lucky enough to find a ranch (single story) home that we think will allow us to age in place. It is built on a slab (no basement) and there are no steps. There is a step from the attached garage into the family room, but the previous owner lived here with his wife, who was in a wheel chair, and built a small ramp so even that step is not something we have to step up to get into the house. The two main doors have a small threshold of about an inch or two in height. It is 1700 sq ft with three bedrooms. It has one full bathroom with both a tub and a walk in shower and it also has a 1/2 bath near the family room. It sits on an acre in a rural looking area with very nice spacing between the houses but if you drive a half mile, you’re in suburban America with all kinds of shopping, restaurants and healthcare within five miles. Healthcare wise, we’re less than 1/2 hour from the University of Michigan - so we’re good. Two things we do not like about the house is the kitchen and the master bedroom. The kitchen is a galley kitchen and we’d like a larger more open kitchen. The master bedroom is too small. It would be great if it was 3 foot longer and wider. We can fit our king bed and DW’s dresser in it, but not my chest of drawers and there is just enough room to walk around.

At times, I have thought about moving - maybe to a condo or a house with a smaller yard, but any time I’ve looked, there are just no houses that I can find that would improve our situation. Most condos are 2br/2bath and very few are single story. We like the 3 bedrooms because we sleep in the master and the other two are mine and DW’s offices. I worry about being able to do the yard work in the future because it’s already something that’s hard for me to keep up with, however, I know I can pay to have the yard and snow removal done when I need to.

To the OP, I think a freestanding home is the best option. I would find it difficult to share a wall with someone in a condo situation. Some of the 55+ communities with freestanding homes in an association might be your best choice. While surfing/daydreaming looking at options around me, the only one I found interesting was in a 55+ community. The only problem I had with it was how much it cost. I couldn’t justify paying that much more for the little bit of difference that it would have afforded me. It did have a nice master suite, but the kitchen wasn’t much better and it certainly wasn’t on an acre so I’d have to get used to living close to people (I’ve lived on more than an acre since I was 30). I do like space. It also was not close to restaurants and healthcare. It’s a hard thing to find (the perfect house). Not a unicorn, but pretty close. If I had the energy and money, I’d consider building one to my exact specifications. Good luck.

 

[Koolau]

This is the third and last home we will own. When we retired and moved here I said even if we hate it here we are never moving again. Moving is exhausting and expensive and stressful!

But more than that, our requirements for this home was so we could age in it. So even though we are in our late 60’s I felt we had to plan for our 80’s. It’s just common sense and realistic.

I worked in home care and health care most of my life so I’ve seen it all, not to mention what I went through with my parents.

It’s not just getting older, it’s also as you get older physical changes, illnesses, etc. I was surprised with unexpected spine surgery this year. Thank goodness we had already downsized and moved 3 years ago to a one level small home because I couldn’t do it again physically!

Since we moved, the following people we knew have passed on: a man in his 50’s due to COVID; a neighbor 69- developed a rare disorder and was ill for years; my friend at 64 of pancreatic cancer- in one year she was dead ( thankfully she was in a 62 plus apartment) a former coworker at 62 from non smoking lung cancer- also in one year she was dead. Another neighbor had MS for years and yes- finally went into a nursing home and died there- in her 70’s. And last week my neighbor at 75- dropped dead of cardiac arrest. ( he had one lung).

So there you have it. I hope to never go into a nursing home or assisted living, but, yes, there’s no time like the present to prepare for the future. That’s why some people get long term insurance and life insurance and do estate planning.

Well, that was very uplifting.

But seriously, it sounds like you have made a very well thought out decision and you plan to stick with it. Here in the Old Homestead, everything but the storage areas are on one floor BUT there are several steps to get in from the street. I'm just barely able to climb them now due to a couple of issues I'm dealing with. I'm hoping for full recovery, but in the mean time, I ration my use of the stairs. No frivolous trips for a Jamocha shake at Arbys.

Best of luck with your decision and your new home. Blessings and aloha.

 

[oldphd]

Wait! You’re 78 and 76 and your not sure if this is your forever home?! lol!

I know at our ages of 67 and 69 this is the last home we will own. The next phase is assisted living or nursing home or 6 feet under!

Couple of years ago my parents moved to another state to be close to my sister so she can help them as they get older. She was the one encouraging this, and they recognized she was right, so it was amicable.

However, they didn't want to move into any sort of retirement community, because... "we're not ready for THAT yet!".

They were 85 and 87 when they moved...

 

[MarieIG]

DH does not want to live in a condo, and does not want neighbors too close, so our next home would preferably be a ranch - however, a possible compromise would be a house with a main floor with kitchen, laundry room, living/family room, powder room, and at least a master w/ master bath which allows no-step access from at least one entrance.

I have no problem with stairs (now) but DF had a degenerative nerve destroying disease which caused paralysis . . .

 

[MarieIG]

Here in the Old Homestead, everything but the storage areas are on one floor BUT there are several steps to get in from the street. I'm just barely able to climb them now due to a couple of issues I'm dealing with. I'm hoping for full recovery, but in the mean time, I ration my use of the stairs. No frivolous trips for a Jamocha shake at Arbys.

. . .

Best wishes and prayers for your speedy recovery Koolau.

 

[friar1610]

Couple of years ago my parents moved to another state to be close to my sister so she can help them as they get older. She was the one encouraging this, and they recognized she was right, so it was amicable.

However, they didn't want to move into any sort of retirement community, because... "we're not ready for THAT yet!".

They were 85 and 87 when they moved...

Good for them! My kinda people.

 

[Koolau]

Best wishes and prayers for your speedy recovery Koolau.

Much Aloha!

 

[Scuba]

So far we have owned two “forever” homes, along with several others. Our first forever home was a 1,600 sq ft oceanfront condo in Southern CA. Purchased it new 20 years ago. Remodeled it about 12 years later, thinking we’d stay forever. There was an elevator from the parking garage, the condo itself was all on one level, and the location was somewhat urban with easy access to public transportation and Uber/taxis in the event we became unable to drive. Perfect “forever home.” Just sold it less than a month ago after renting it out for a few years.

Four years ago, we decided to move to the CA desert. More peaceful, traded the beach which is almost always chilly with many overcast gloomy days for non-stop sun which we love. Bought a 2,600 sq ft Villa (1 attached wall) in a social neighborhood with nice amenities. Remodeled it to our liking. Seemed perfect to live out the rest of our days, but in the last year, we’ve begun to consider leaving CA despite loving our home, our friends, the natural beauty, and the weather. We can afford to stay, but there are many non-financial reasons to consider leaving, as well as the future financial consequences of various new decisions being made by the state and city.

Now we are thinking about buying an SFR with a pool in SW FL. Time will tell, but we’ve given up thinking of a place as our “forever home.” Areas change, sometimes dramatically, and what’s most important to us changes too.

 

[meleana]

So far we have owned two “forever” homes, along with several others. Our first forever home was a 1,600 sq ft oceanfront condo in Southern CA. Purchased it new 20 years ago. Remodeled it about 12 years later, thinking we’d stay forever. There was an elevator from the parking garage, the condo itself was all on one level, and the location was somewhat urban with easy access to public transportation and Uber/taxis in the event we became unable to drive. Perfect “forever home.” Just sold it less than a month ago after renting it out for a few years.

Four years ago, we decided to move to the CA desert. More peaceful, traded the beach which is almost always chilly with many overcast gloomy days for non-stop sun which we love. Bought a 2,600 sq ft Villa (1 attached wall) in a social neighborhood with nice amenities. Remodeled it to our liking. Seemed perfect to live out the rest of our days, but in the last year, we’ve begun to consider leaving CA despite loving our home, our friends, the natural beauty, and the weather. We can afford to stay, but there are many non-financial reasons to consider leaving, as well as the future financial consequences of various new decisions being made by the state and city.

Now we are thinking about buying an SFR with a pool in SW FL. Time will tell, but we’ve given up thinking of a place as our “forever home.” Areas change, sometimes dramatically, and what’s most important to us changes too.

Moving constantly is a very expensive and exhausting endeavor. I could never understand why people don’t think things through before they make a decision on something that impacts their lives and wallets so immensely.

This said I understand how sometimes extreme circumstances could arise that could force a change.

Sure if you’re young there’s trial and error. But as you get older it’s better to be settled and secure. What will you do if you move to yet another area and your spouse passes? As you get older it’s not easy to make “ friends”. Even if you do, they start going into assisted living or nursing homes or to live with their family. Or they die. Where does your immediate family live?

California is a beautiful state but I wouldn’t live there either. Southwest Florida is very popular and people love it but I hear it’s getting very crowded as is a lot of areas in Florida. I wouldn’t live there either.

We retired to a honky tonk type area in NH near the big lake- an area I never would have directly chosen. It’s too touristy and gets crowded and noisy in the summers and fall. I hate that. Not my vibe at all. Even the mountains get crowded. The Seacoast for sure. You can’t escape it. Unless you are Uber wealthy and can afford a million dollar plus home right on the lake or on tons of land somewhere.. And even then….

We lived in peace and tranquility in nature on a lot of land in NY. But not a good situation to retire and age in. Seclusion, big house, etc.

But had to make compromises to live in NH based on what we could afford and the type of home (and community) to age in and to be close by to our only child. And convenience to stores and health care and restaurants and theaters, etc. And taxes.

But I always dreamed of retiring to Vermont. Just not practical for us.

Since the pandemic everything and everywhere has gone haywire. Overrun with people. Housing prices through the roof. No staff anywhere. There’s no utopia. And that’s an understatement.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Koolau]

So far we have owned two “forever” homes, along with several others. Our first forever home was a 1,600 sq ft oceanfront condo in Southern CA. Purchased it new 20 years ago. Remodeled it about 12 years later, thinking we’d stay forever. There was an elevator from the parking garage, the condo itself was all on one level, and the location was somewhat urban with easy access to public transportation and Uber/taxis in the event we became unable to drive. Perfect “forever home.” Just sold it less than a month ago after renting it out for a few years.

Four years ago, we decided to move to the CA desert. More peaceful, traded the beach which is almost always chilly with many overcast gloomy days for non-stop sun which we love. Bought a 2,600 sq ft Villa (1 attached wall) in a social neighborhood with nice amenities. Remodeled it to our liking. Seemed perfect to live out the rest of our days, but in the last year, we’ve begun to consider leaving CA despite loving our home, our friends, the natural beauty, and the weather. We can afford to stay, but there are many non-financial reasons to consider leaving, as well as the future financial consequences of various new decisions being made by the state and city.

Now we are thinking about buying an SFR with a pool in SW FL. Time will tell, but we’ve given up thinking of a place as our “forever home.” Areas change, sometimes dramatically, and what’s most important to us changes too.

Yeah, our first forever home, we picked out when we were in our 30s. We intended to move there when we retired. We ended up doing that. It was then we realized we were in a rain band. It didn't always rain, but during certain weather patterns, it could rain for hours and it could do that for days on end. As I said that wasn't common, but it wasn't rare either. I could have dealt with it. For one thing, we could get in the car and drive out of the rain in a few minutes. Drive to the beach and it was sunny and no rain.

But DW couldn't deal with it so we moved to our latest forever home. We've been here over 10 years and, so far, think we'll stay. It's not perfect, but I don't think we'll find that until we get our real "forever" home. YMMV

 

[Scuba]

Moving constantly is a very expensive and exhausting endeavor. I could never understand why people don’t think things through before they make a decision on something that impacts their lives and wallets so immensely.

This said I understand how sometimes extreme circumstances could arise that could force a change.

Sure if you’re young there’s trial and error. But as you get older it’s better to be settled and secure. What will you do if you move to yet another area and your spouse passes? As you get older it’s not easy to make “ friends”. Even if you do, they start going into assisted living or nursing homes or to live with their family. Or they die. Where does your immediate family live?

California is a beautiful state but I wouldn’t live there either. Southwest Florida is very popular and people love it but I hear it’s getting very crowded as is a lot of areas in Florida. I wouldn’t live there either.

We retired to a honky tonk type area in NH near the big lake- an area I never would have directly chosen. It’s too touristy and gets crowded and noisy in the summers and fall. I hate that. Not my vibe at all. Even the mountains get crowded. The Seacoast for sure. You can’t escape it. Unless you are Uber wealthy and can afford a million dollar plus home right on the lake or on tons of land somewhere.. And even then….

We lived in peace and tranquility in nature on a lot of land in NY. But not a good situation to retire and age in. Seclusion, big house, etc.

But had to make compromises to live in NH based on what we could afford and the type of home (and community) to age in and to be close by to our only child. And convenience to stores and health care and restaurants and theaters, etc. And taxes.

But I always dreamed of retiring to Vermont. Just not practical for us.

Since the pandemic everything and everywhere has gone haywire. Overrun with people. Housing prices through the roof. No staff anywhere. There’s no utopia. And that’s an understatement.

Good luck with your decision.

Thanks. You’re right, moving is very expensive and exhausting. We swore we’d never move again when we moved to the Desert. However things change and we change too. It’s not a matter of not thinking things through properly. We are pretty deliberate and thorough in analyzing major life decisions.

What we’ve found is that sometimes areas change somewhat significantly over a relatively short period of time, and as we age, our priorities change too. We don’t have any family in CA. I have no family left. DH’s family members all live in GA, so FL is much closer. That’s one motivation to move. It’s hard to leave long-term friends though.

Good question about what we’d do if one of us passes prematurely. Not sure about that. If we don’t leave CA, I’d probably stay in the Desert but might choose a smaller place. If we move to FL, hopefully we can build up a network of friends including some who are a bit younger than we are.