Getting ready.... couple questions

[BeeBee]

We will be moving to Okaloosa Island FL in December, which is between Fort Walton Beach and Destin. We fell in love with the area while vacationing there a few years ago and bought a condo last Feb. DH will be retired at 50 after working like a dog six days a week for the last 25+ years... I am a nurse and plan to work part time (like two days a week) so we can have some extra spending cash. I am 48.

For the ladies that had workaholic husbands, how was it when they were suddenly home all the time? Any issues or was it great from the start?

For anyone who moved to a new area.... did you find it easy to make friends and feel comfortable in your new area? Did you leave kids behind? If so how did that go? We have a 26 year old and even though he is on his own living with his girlfriend and doing well... I have these little pangs of guilt... not sure why??

Mostly I can't believe it's almost here.

 

[Koolau]

For anyone who moved to a new area.... did you find it easy to make friends and feel comfortable in your new area? Did you leave kids behind? If so how did that go? We have a 26 year old and even though he is on his own living with his girlfriend and doing well... I have these little pangs of guilt... not sure why??

Mostly I can't believe it's almost here.

When we moved 5000 miles from "home" we were a bit concerned about making friends. Fate intervened and we met a couple who have become good friends. She is a "local girl" but we met because the husband found out that we were from the same home town. We are the same age and even attended the same university at the same time. Our paths must have crossed many times, but we did not know him at the time.

On a more practical note, meeting friends in new locations is usually best accomplished through groups of kindred spirits such as clubs and churches. That's the way it's worked for us (with the one odd exception).

For the most part, we have felt comfortable in our new setting. We had fantasized about the change for so long, it seems a miracle that things have turned out as well as they have (reality rarely meets the expectations of fantasy - and I can verify the truth of that statement. But, it's CLOSE).

We had concerns about leaving kids behind, but we also knew that they would probably scatter even if we stayed. That is exactly what has happened. Now, instead of being 1000 miles away from one child, 2500 miles away from another and 100 miles from the third, we're (on average) 4000 miles from all of them. The planes still fly (both ways) and the phones, email and snail mail still work. So, my suggestion is not to live your lives FOR your children. They will do just fine on their own.

Can't help much with the "workaholic" husband issue. Never considered myself one of those. I figure one of two things will happen: He will embrace his new freedom and begin to enjoy it immediately or else he will go nuts for a while until he finds something to be passionate about (PT w*rk, hobby, volunteer, etc.). You can be there for him, but you can't live his life for him. It's up to him.

Best of luck!

 

[MasterBlaster]

For the ladies that had workaholic husbands, how was it when they were suddenly home all the time? Any issues or was it great from the start?

Retired Husband Syndrome - ABC News

For anyone who moved to a new area.... did you find it easy to make friends and feel comfortable in your new area? Did you leave kids behind? If so how did that go? We have a 26 year old and even though he is on his own living with his girlfriend and doing well... I have these little pangs of guilt... not sure why??

I remember all too well moving from Houston to Los Angeles. It's been 26 years now but I still remember how tough it was. In Houston I had loads of friends and plenty to do. I moved for a job in Los Angeles. I loved the area and the weather but it took literally years to feel really at home. It was really lonely until I established myself.

Don't underestimate the value of friends and family. They are priceless. If you are a social butterfly though, then you'll have no problems.

 

[KingB]

We had concerns about leaving kids behind, but we also knew that they would probably scatter even if we stayed. That is exactly what has happened. Now, instead of being 1000 miles away from one child, 2500 miles away from another and 100 miles from the third, we're (on average) 4000 miles from all of them. The planes still fly (both ways) and the phones, email and snail mail still work. So, my suggestion is not to live your lives FOR your children. They will do just fine on their own.

I agree.
We are not in our children's plans, so why include them in our's?

 

[Moemg]

For anyone who moved to a new area.... did you find it easy to make friends and feel comfortable in your new area? Did you leave kids behind? If so how did that go? We have a 26 year old and even though he is on his own living with his girlfriend and doing well... I have these little pangs of guilt... not sure why??

Mostly I can't believe it's almost here.

I found it easy to make friends in Florida since so many people are from some where else . Join a gym and sign up for a class or two . When I relocated my children were twenty one and twenty seven and I did have pangs of guilt plus I missed them so much . I used to go for long week ends to Boston every third month to see them so that made it better . . I also worked part time as an RN . It was interesting . Florida is a slightly strange place to work in that it is seasonal . You work like crazy in the winter and do nothing in the summer . I worked per diem so I made a decent salary but otherwise nursing salaries in Florida are low compared to what I was used to .

 

[PaddyMac]

I also second joining groups of like-minded artists, gardeners, or whatever you are interested in. After moving to New Mexico in 2008, within a year we probably knew more people in our new location as we did living in the middle of Los Angeles. It's important to put all the monthly meetings on your calender for the first year and actually attend! That way you quickly become a regular. And if you really want to make an impression, volunteer for the board.

 

[flyfishnevada]

I agree.
We are not in our children's plans, so why include them in our's?

Totally agree. We've got 5 more years until our youngest gets out of high school, but they both know we expect them to be on their own and that we will be selling the house and traveling around in an RV. Might be tough for them, but tough never hurt anyone. In fact, it probably helps.

 

[Surewhitey]

We move to LA from Dallas; the 1st year was difficult for my wife & I did miss ones back home. 4 years here now and we've found life-long friends here. This is mainly because of our common thread of faith & morality.

That is a peace of mind of anywhere we move. If there is common ground, you can make friends all over the world. Kids can always visit & vise versa.

 

[Glo]

Don't worry about the kids; they will be happy if you are happy in your new home. Don't forget-- they are working and building lives so their time is limited.

We moved back near my hometown; although we have extended family in the area and two couples as friends its amazing how easily you can make new friends. We've been here 3 years and I'm amazed that we could keep socially busy almost every day. Of course, that's way too much for me because I like to be home and outside in my garden and playing with the cats and dogs. We moved during a presidential election year, so we got involved in that. Then we joined the local Jewish Community Center ( not Jewish, though) and met a lot of people using the gym and swimming pool as well as doing some volunteer work for them.

Those are just some of the things we did to meet people and fit into the community. Don't have advice for workaholics because neither DH or me are in that category.

Good luck in your move. I always say my life started the day I retired!