Getting the right balance

[audreyh1]

I'd like to thank this thread for erasing the pre-guilt I've been feeling. It always felt like everyone in FIRE was doing tons of volunteering, which is more than this introvert could bear to imagine. I run a couple of ventures without payment over the years, which benefit a large number of people but which can be done almost completely from my computer. That and money might have to be good enough. [emoji16]

We didn’t set out to volunteer although I did look at volunteer travel like helping with digs or nature oriented science in exotic locales.

What we did was get involved in areas of our interest and occasionally pick up a short-term volunteer gig or project that we felt made good use of our unique skills. In many cases we came up with the ideas and implemented them. We could see a use, so contributed.

Other than volunteer hiking trail work, we were never involved in a service organization or had regularly scheduled volunteer hours, or did things that that were very basic.

 

[audreyh1]

Yes, I can see that this will evolve over time. Maybe I need to take a year off my remaining volunteer efforts and see how I feel after that.

I think that is a very good idea. It will give you a chance to step back and re-evaluate your priorities.

 

[FreeBear]

I'd like to thank this thread for erasing the pre-guilt I've been feeling. It always felt like everyone in FIRE was doing tons of volunteering, which is more than this introvert could bear to imagine. I run a couple of ventures without payment over the years, which benefit a large number of people but which can be done almost completely from my computer. That and money might have to be good enough. [emoji16]

No worries, you are NOT alone!

Actually, I fear that everyone in FIRE is doing more than me in terms how much money they have to count, how many homes they have to build or maintain in exotic places, how may trips are planned, how many "gigs" they do just for fun, and yes, how much they volunteer. For me, whether it's perception or reality, I'm learning that it no longer matters, if it ever did. I'm learning to live my life each and every day for my own happiness.

A few of these days involve having coffee or meals with folks outside my my normal circle of activity. This is the main scope of my volunteering or mentoring and it's nice and the right thing for me to do, at least right now.

 

[athena53]

I've always believed that it was a tremendous gift to be able to retire at age 61 with the health to do volunteer work as well as the financial means to write checks, too. Lately, at 65, I have to remind myself that I'm not irreplaceable and it's not my job to hold up the world. Our church has lost a couple of families who pledged generously (I know because I used to be Financial Secretary) and I'm torn between increasing my pledge (already one of the highest) by a modest % or by a little over 10%, which would put it at a generous round number. It will go to other charities if I give less to the church but I feel so OBLIGATED because I've been so blessed and the church is losing badly-needed income.

Similarly, I just decided to skip a Toastmasters meeting Thursday in order to make time for a date with a guy I met on Match.com and met for the first time in person last week. We live an hour away from each other and his volunteer schedule is even crazier than mine (4 days a week on a Medicare help line and Fridays as a Spanish translator for the courts). I feel bad because attendance has been down at the Toastmasters meetings and I have to remind myself it's not my job to make up for the slackers.

I'll work it out, but it's not easy. I miss my late husband, who was always a source of common sense at times like this. Still, it's a good problem to have.

 

[Ready]

I've never been the volunteer type because the work always seemed very mundane and boring. But I wanted to give volunteering a try after I retired. It took me a year to find something that worked for me. I now volunteer as a Big Brother in the Big Brothers/Sisters program in my community. My job is to mentor a ten year old who comes from an underprivileged family and needs help with learning how to grow up into adulthood. The opportunity has given me a chance to do all kinds of things I would never normally do (build sandcastles, goldmine in a cave, see a kids play, go to an airshow, do math homework, play basketball and soccer, visit some new beach communities together...and on and on. And that's only been in the first three months.

I think it works for me because I don't have kids of my own so it's fun for me to have one once a week to hang out with and do kid stuff with.

Anyways, my point is that if volunteer work doesn't feel right, it may be because it's the wrong volunteer work. Keep searching until you find something that feels fulfilling to you. When you do, it will be a blast.

 

[W2R]

I'd like to thank this thread for erasing the pre-guilt I've been feeling. It always felt like everyone in FIRE was doing tons of volunteering, which is more than this introvert could bear to imagine. I run a couple of ventures without payment over the years, which benefit a large number of people but which can be done almost completely from my computer. That and money might have to be good enough. [emoji16]

Hey, the only volunteering I have done in retirement, was to be a volunteer mod/admin here on the forum. And really, I had fun doing that so I am not sure if it counts.

Before I retired, I had plans to volunteer more in real life, but I didn't realize how busy my life would still be even in retirement.

 

[imoldernu]

Just enjoy life... nature takes it course. 25 years in scouts and local volunteering etc., was great, but now it's on and off with whatever feels good. Mostly, when it doesn't require long term commitment. Plenty to give and get back in our CCRC.

 

[Scuba]

Are your volunteer efforts spread out or mostly geared to one particular effort? If they're spread out start purging the lower ranked ones until you come to the place where time and commitment meet.

This is good advice. I had 5 different volunteer efforts earlier this year. I’ve already dropped one and the second will be over in January. The other three are all at a local university - mentoring students and fund-raising for scholarships.

 

[Scuba]

I think that is a very good idea. It will give you a chance to step back and re-evaluate your priorities.

Yes, I’m thinking so too. If I find I want more to do, I can always step back into doing one or more of my current activities or I can try something new.

 

[brucethebroker]

Just enjoy life... nature takes it course. 25 years in scouts and local volunteering etc., was great, but now it's on and off with whatever feels good. Mostly, when it doesn't require long term commitment. Plenty to give and get back in our CCRC.

I agree...
Soccer coach for kids for a decade and numerous church activities over the years. I help a little nowadays, but not much. Time to relax without ongoing commitments.

 

[Bir48die]

I'm currently trying to mix my volunteer opportunities. We've decided this year to travel more so it doesn't allow me to commit to a lot of long term programs. I do have one that is pretty intense three month commitment but then I look at singular events if I want to fill in. There's always a need for Habitat labor close to me.

 

[misshathaway]

Hey, the only volunteering I have done in retirement, was to be a volunteer mod/admin here on the forum. And really, I had fun doing that so I am not sure if it counts. .

My one volunteer thing is moderating the local Freecycle, which is fun. Taking another job for free makes no sense to me. I just escaped. Not going to turn myself back in.

 

[Serenity]

Sorry I am a bit late in replying, I have been thinking about this.

Been retired for just over 2 years now and had no plans to do any volunteering (done a bit in the past while working) as I didn't want any regular commitments.
But found as I got involved with different groups, one in particular needed help with something, so I volunteered. That was kind of nice for a bit, but then I found I was getting asked to do more and more...
I started to lose any interest in the work and it seemed to me like the more I did, the less it was acknowledged or appreciated. I know that is not the point of volunteering and a bit selfish, but that was how it made me feel. It was all the bad things that made me finish work and none of the good things.

It also took time away from things I actually wanted to do.

Thank you for starting this thread, I am feeling happier about my decision to wind down the volunteering.

 

[Serenity]

Another side effect of volunteers where I live, is that they are increasingly being used as an excuse to cheaply replace real workers. Not the reason I am stopping, but something to perhaps consider when looking for volunteer opportunities.

 

[Rianne]

So far this year, racked up 175 volunteer hours for forest preserve district. The education part reaches out to underprivileged kids who've never been in nature. Those volunteer hours go towards grants and money to support the forest preserves. So it's like donated time and money. When big donors see all the volunteer hours, they find it's a great cause and donate more!

 

[RAE]

Right after I retired, I was asked to be on the board for 3 different organizations (I had some dealings with each of them while I was working, and they all do work that I support). I accepted all 3. That was 8 years ago, and over time, I started to realize that I really wanted to start stepping back and devoting more time to family and other things (my hobbies and interests). So, I resigned from one board a couple years ago, and resigned from another one just last week. That leaves one that I am still involved with, and I will probably depart that one within the next year also. It's not that I don't support what these organizations are doing (I do)........it's just that I really feel like I want more time for myself and my family at this stage of my life. I do have a little bit of guilt about that, but I also know that there are other good people to step in and devote their time to these causes, so it's okay.

 

[audreyh1]

Another side effect of volunteers where I live, is that they are increasingly being used as an excuse to cheaply replace real workers. Not the reason I am stopping, but something to perhaps consider when looking for volunteer opportunities.

Hmmm - that would bother me.

 

[Scuba]

Sorry I am a bit late in replying, I have been thinking about this.

Been retired for just over 2 years now and had no plans to do any volunteering (done a bit in the past while working) as I didn't want any regular commitments.
But found as I got involved with different groups, one in particular needed help with something, so I volunteered. That was kind of nice for a bit, but then I found I was getting asked to do more and more...
I started to lose any interest in the work and it seemed to me like the more I did, the less it was acknowledged or appreciated. I know that is not the point of volunteering and a bit selfish, but that was how it made me feel. It was all the bad things that made me finish work and none of the good things.

It also took time away from things I actually wanted to do.

Thank you for starting this thread, I am feeling happier about my decision to wind down the volunteering.

I’ve also experienced the problem of being asked to do more. None of my volunteer work replaces employees. I’ve decided not to run for the HOA Board again next year, after serving four years. That will be a relief to give up. While it’s nice to have some influence over the direction our condo building takes, it’s not worth it to me to do as much work as seems to be expected.

The other three things I do are all in support of a local university. I started out just volunteering to mentor students, but as people got to know me, I was asked to join three different Boards. I’ve realized that the Board work is too much like my prior career. I enjoy the direct student interaction but not going to meetings, thinking about budgets, etc. Rather than pulling back from all three at one time, I think I’ll prioritize them and start pulling back from the one I enjoy least.

The longer I’ve been retired, the better it feels to just relax, travel, and spend time with DH and friends and family. [emoji3]