Happier in retirement?
- Thread starter anothercog
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PointBreeze, I really like this thought. Hadn't quite considered it in that way!
Kroeran
Full time employment: Posting here.
I would say that I have had some low points after 10 years of retirement, but at least it’s a different flavour of misery.
In my mega bureaucracy, you moved up into inconceivable stress assuming you will leave feet first, stayed put in the middle to be surrounded by younger and younger colleagues and bosses, or retire.
Retirement was at least seizing the chance to try for greater happiness, or at least be miserable in better weather, and I was beyond fed up with 6 months of winter.
My retirement suggestions
1) keep the feet to the fire looking for ways to bring in self employed and passive income however humble, as part of your emotional ecology
2) dial up thrift and financial waste reduction, downsize
3) study and implement diet for longevity
4) optimize your relationship to the medical system. Lean forward on collecting data on your health, act cautiously. Your skill and attitude in this is very much life and death.
5) persist on finding a crowd to have some laughs with.
6) acquire as many dogs as you can manage.
7) force yourself to engage in sports that are active in your area.
8) reduce casual exposure to the news and politics. Learn to read again.
9) engage in actual politics at any level.
10) spend time in better weather and beautiful places, or near your grandchildren if any
11) groom, cook, clean, repair
12) manage your marriage with great attention if applicable. If single, figure out how to meet persons of interest and make the effort.
13) accept that you can’t fix other people’s lives.
In my mega bureaucracy, you moved up into inconceivable stress assuming you will leave feet first, stayed put in the middle to be surrounded by younger and younger colleagues and bosses, or retire.
Retirement was at least seizing the chance to try for greater happiness, or at least be miserable in better weather, and I was beyond fed up with 6 months of winter.
My retirement suggestions
1) keep the feet to the fire looking for ways to bring in self employed and passive income however humble, as part of your emotional ecology
2) dial up thrift and financial waste reduction, downsize
3) study and implement diet for longevity
4) optimize your relationship to the medical system. Lean forward on collecting data on your health, act cautiously. Your skill and attitude in this is very much life and death.
5) persist on finding a crowd to have some laughs with.
6) acquire as many dogs as you can manage.
7) force yourself to engage in sports that are active in your area.
8) reduce casual exposure to the news and politics. Learn to read again.
9) engage in actual politics at any level.
10) spend time in better weather and beautiful places, or near your grandchildren if any
11) groom, cook, clean, repair
12) manage your marriage with great attention if applicable. If single, figure out how to meet persons of interest and make the effort.
13) accept that you can’t fix other people’s lives.
atmsmshr
Full time employment: Posting here.
Happier in retirement?
Does a bear poop in the woods?
Does a bear poop in the woods?
I so identify with this. I will have many moments where I feel such gratitude and serenity.
Living in NYC, pre Covid, I would see people walking down street talking on their phones, walking quickly and looking just so consumed with what I assume was some work issue. I so don't miss that.
SpinDoctorTX
Recycles dryer sheets
Happier doesn't even begin to describe how wonderful my life is since retiring Nov. 2016.
The ability to design my own day as I please is priceless. It helped that I already had hobbies and a desire to take on new ones, so I'm rarely bored (excepting this past 9 mos. at times).
If the gig isn't hard, you can always work on imagining what your "after" plans might be, and get started in your spare time. DH retired- with several hobbies that pay (gunsmithing/ photography) at 62 in 2009, and at the time I was also well paid and the w*rk was interesting. By then, we were living on only half of my take home pay anyhow, as I was maxing out all retirement deductions. When I became a direct report to someone who was clueless and just plain mean, that was not interesting. I immediately began my plan of escape, rather than waiting for what would be an inevitable package "someday". Within 4 months, I was gone.
Retire on your terms. You'll know when it's time.
"Set level" of happiness, but so much less stress
I'm one of those who tends to believe we have a basic "set" level of happiness. I got quite euphorically happy the first year, lots of travels, and fun. The second year, I noticed I was settling back into my "general level" of happiness, generally content, but not euphoric. New health issues cropped up.
But: the extreme lack of "work stress" made a HUGE difference. The lack of stress has been incredible, so even though I now have other stressors (health, caretaking elderly dementia mother), I at least don't have work stress on top of it! I'm generally content and usually happy enough in general. I could not say that when I was working, even though my job was fantastic: the pressure and stress was constant, dampening "happiness".
I'm one of those who tends to believe we have a basic "set" level of happiness. I got quite euphorically happy the first year, lots of travels, and fun. The second year, I noticed I was settling back into my "general level" of happiness, generally content, but not euphoric. New health issues cropped up.
But: the extreme lack of "work stress" made a HUGE difference. The lack of stress has been incredible, so even though I now have other stressors (health, caretaking elderly dementia mother), I at least don't have work stress on top of it! I'm generally content and usually happy enough in general. I could not say that when I was working, even though my job was fantastic: the pressure and stress was constant, dampening "happiness".
Beyond Happier !!
The only thing that can very slightly bring me down is that I waited so long. Could of retired many years before, but thought I was to young and had a responsibility to complete certain projects. Which after completed has led to many years of bliss. I have no idea how I had time to work. Could never go back. The to do list is too long. There are many work opportunities but after so many years people have figured out that the "your to young to (be) retire(d)" line is not cryptonite to all former workaholics who loved their job. Once you are very comfortably FI it is time to pull the cord and start a new chapter in life. Time is the most valuable asset. period. Enjoy while you are young healthy and active. BTW-several of my work mates didn't retire when they were very FI and died in their 50's You never know when cancer, Covid or an aneurysm will rear their ugly heads and put an end to your long delayed plans of retirement.
The only thing that can very slightly bring me down is that I waited so long. Could of retired many years before, but thought I was to young and had a responsibility to complete certain projects. Which after completed has led to many years of bliss. I have no idea how I had time to work. Could never go back. The to do list is too long. There are many work opportunities but after so many years people have figured out that the "your to young to (be) retire(d)" line is not cryptonite to all former workaholics who loved their job. Once you are very comfortably FI it is time to pull the cord and start a new chapter in life. Time is the most valuable asset. period. Enjoy while you are young healthy and active. BTW-several of my work mates didn't retire when they were very FI and died in their 50's You never know when cancer, Covid or an aneurysm will rear their ugly heads and put an end to your long delayed plans of retirement.
Live Large
Recycles dryer sheets
Monday’s & End of Vacation
Really didn’t like the thought of it’s Sunday oh Damn I have to go to work tomorrow OP have these thoughts they disappear once retired. Vacation in mid-week, weekend, all week long. One way ticket come back when you want.
Love getting up everyday Do What I want! Oh I’ve run the gamut of “volunteering” just filled boxes of food for Salvation Army. But I’m not on anyone’s schedule. No soul searching for purpose, helping others, acts of kindness, these are all easy to do if you like people. What I don’t like is WO*K. I’ve noticed the word is not spelled out on ER forum
Really didn’t like the thought of it’s Sunday oh Damn I have to go to work tomorrow OP have these thoughts they disappear once retired. Vacation in mid-week, weekend, all week long. One way ticket come back when you want.
Love getting up everyday Do What I want! Oh I’ve run the gamut of “volunteering” just filled boxes of food for Salvation Army. But I’m not on anyone’s schedule. No soul searching for purpose, helping others, acts of kindness, these are all easy to do if you like people. What I don’t like is WO*K. I’ve noticed the word is not spelled out on ER forum
JohnRM
Recycles dryer sheets
Happier? yes
I was working graveyard shift, a good union job in a warehouse, but I have low platelets and other bloodwork problems, so although nobody seemed to notice I felt like I was not keeping up anymore. I inherited some money and have retirement savings and investments, so fortunately I am retired without financial worries. But I do miss my coworkers. My wife doesn't work now either and the plan was to take lots of trips. So that's a bummer this year anyway.
I sure am glad I am not down there with all the covid requirements on top of layoffs of a lot of the younger people, (It's seniority based). So that is another point in favor of being retired. I did learn to cut my own hair this year!
I was working graveyard shift, a good union job in a warehouse, but I have low platelets and other bloodwork problems, so although nobody seemed to notice I felt like I was not keeping up anymore. I inherited some money and have retirement savings and investments, so fortunately I am retired without financial worries. But I do miss my coworkers. My wife doesn't work now either and the plan was to take lots of trips. So that's a bummer this year anyway.
I sure am glad I am not down there with all the covid requirements on top of layoffs of a lot of the younger people, (It's seniority based). So that is another point in favor of being retired. I did learn to cut my own hair this year!
NextInLine
Recycles dryer sheets
PoorOldCountryBoy
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Totally happier. The social impacts are what ends to make the difference. If you have something to keep you busy (hobbies etc) and personal connections (family, friends) then you'll do fine. I've never been busier doing exactly what I want to do.
Or not doing anything.I find people who become less happy/bored in retirement usually are not self starters when it comes to hobbies, etc. Maybe they grew up with older siblings telling them what to do when they were young and then did their time in Megacorp for 40 years and just never thought about it, etc.
The other part of social capital is how much ego gratification do you get from your title and position? When you go from "Manager" or "VP of something sounding important" to "old and useless", how does that change your self image? Do you internally or externally justify?
I found myself reframing the last few years of my work as going in because I wanted to , not because I had to. It helped energize me the last few years in an organization my co-workers referred to as the "land of the misfit toys"
I preferred to call it the fudge workplace - kind of sweet, with a few nuts...PoorOldCountryBoy
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Forgot to add a couple things if you are retiring early - give yourself 2 years to "detox" from work. You have had this social structure setting your pace for the last 30+ years. You have to expect some resetting.
If you are early in retiring there will be jealous people. Sometimes they will cast some shade your way "I couldn't do that I'd be bored silly, etc." or "I still work so I can help my fellow neighbors", etc. There will be others telling you what to do "take over this or that full time." Ignore the busybodies and the noise. Easier to do at 65 than at 50.
Most of our society focuses on "doing". Now you can focus on "being". Language is important - look at how much is focused on keeping society productive. You need to find a way to internally resolve that. Most people invent a cover story "active volunteer", "taking care of loved ones" etc. It's sad that anyone has to but it does deflect the busybodies and the jealous types.
That said, don't retire early if you aren't 100% sure you want it. Job searching after 50 can be tougher with age discrimination, so if the current job is OK hang on till you are ready.
Markola
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
I’ve noticed on this string that a couple of people have said, “Give yourself two years.” I’m only 5 months in but DW is 2.5 into a very satisfying semi-retirement. She has formed the new identity and is fine with it.
I can already tell 5 months into an unusually early FIRE for my circles that there is just no satisfactory way for me to really help others understand. I’ve gotten by with “I’m taking a long-planned sabbatical” but I’m left with the feeling that some good friends get it and some good friends don’t. What’s funny is that when I was w*rking and someone would ask, “What do you do?” they’d be instantly bored, because they couldn’t relate. What we all do for w*rk didn’t matter much then to my friends so why do I care what they think now?
My genuine growth area, after decades of satisfying others in the work place, is to not worry so much what others think about what I do for a living (spend my investments.)
I can already tell 5 months into an unusually early FIRE for my circles that there is just no satisfactory way for me to really help others understand. I’ve gotten by with “I’m taking a long-planned sabbatical” but I’m left with the feeling that some good friends get it and some good friends don’t. What’s funny is that when I was w*rking and someone would ask, “What do you do?” they’d be instantly bored, because they couldn’t relate. What we all do for w*rk didn’t matter much then to my friends so why do I care what they think now?
My genuine growth area, after decades of satisfying others in the work place, is to not worry so much what others think about what I do for a living (spend my investments.)
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Dash man
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
^This!
I just quit worrying the day I gave notice. Don’t get me wrong, I still did my job up until the last day, but nothing worried me any more. By my second day of retirement, any stress was gone!
Retired July 2020.
I feel no work stress which is good.
I do feel some stress/anxiety as I am still transitioning from go-go work to a slower pace. Over the summer I got mostly caught up on house projects. Then Nov 4-Dec 15 we camped in our small RV heading to Florida and visited our parents. That was a wonderful safe adventure!
I noticed since coming back home to MA Dec 15th that I am sleeping in till 7:30 am without guilt which feels great.
Once we are done quarantining I hope to get out more while being safe. I plan to start home brewing again after the garage is organized. Then when COVID is under control I’ll get into more social activities.
It’s a great beginning.
I’m happier not working.
I feel no work stress which is good.
I do feel some stress/anxiety as I am still transitioning from go-go work to a slower pace. Over the summer I got mostly caught up on house projects. Then Nov 4-Dec 15 we camped in our small RV heading to Florida and visited our parents. That was a wonderful safe adventure!
I noticed since coming back home to MA Dec 15th that I am sleeping in till 7:30 am without guilt which feels great.
Once we are done quarantining I hope to get out more while being safe. I plan to start home brewing again after the garage is organized. Then when COVID is under control I’ll get into more social activities.
It’s a great beginning.
I’m happier not working.
DD4L
Recycles dryer sheets
To be honest I can remember feeling pangs of envy when I read a thread like this on my cellphone in the bathroom at work, (the only time I could get some peace from the stress and micro-management) I can see why I was so envious though, it really is that awesome and worth the sacrifice when you finally make it.
Definitely takes 2 years for full uncoil though, based on previous experience.
Definitely takes 2 years for full uncoil though, based on previous experience.
Yes, I am definitely happier not working. I feel very content and blessed at my good fortune. I don't have to do a thing and the pensions and social security checks keep rolling in.
I asked my DH if he was happier not working and his answer was Overjoyed.
I asked my DH if he was happier not working and his answer was Overjoyed.
Lawrencewendall
Full time employment: Posting here.
Just woke up from my nap. Almost time to go to bed.
I'm definitely happier. I knew i would be. I love doing my own thing on my own time. I can't imagine going back to a regular job or manual labor and all that goes with that. Getting up early on cold mornings and narcissistic bosses. I did work at a toxic job because of management even though I liked my job otherwise. My whole life I always resented having to BE somewhere at a specific time (weird I know right?). I feel like I work for myself now because I do some active investing. Love getting up early in the morning knowing a time clock is not waiting for me. Enjoying time and the simpler things in life at a slower pace with less stress and my finances in order is something I didn't get to enjoy when I was in the grind.
15 months in... Left at 60, wish I had gone sooner. The almost indescribable feeling of pure joy when I walked out of the building was just surprising. Waking up the next day and not having to go anywhere. Waking up early and putting the trash out and waving to the neighbors as they head off to work. Blessed beyond belief. COVID came and I’ve got no financial worries. My only complaints and stress are self imposed. Boo hoo, we can’t eat out all the time & travel. Really, we need to get over it.
Pull the trigger, push the button, whatever, you won’t regret it.
Pull the trigger, push the button, whatever, you won’t regret it.
Dtail
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso) Give me a forum ...
Just woke up from my nap. Almost time to go to bed.
lol
We happened to nap at 9pm last night and then woke up at 10pm with oh well time to go to sleep.
All good stuff when retired.
