HELP!!! Shopping Disease

[freebird5825]

...Why did I have this absurd obsession? I think it was out of a deep boredom. Whenever I had a hobby that lasted I forgot all about them, like when I cycled. Or now, that I am learning to play the guitar or posting here.
I invite all of you to give me an explanation to this curse of mine. I´m afraid I may relapse.
I´m really ashamed of this behaviour. It says so very little of myself.

Be glad it is not Thoroughbread race horses.

Alternatively, are you and dh2b related?
If he changes our cell phone service ONE MORE TIME because a new phone came out...

I think it is a Martian (Men are from Mars) thing with electronic gadgets, tools, firearms, vehicles, etc.
The Venusian (Women are from Venus) equivalent is usually clothes, jewelry, shoes, etc.
My weakness? Books and gardening stuff. And chocolate.

 

[vicente solano]

Be glad it is not Thoroughbread race horses.

Alternatively, are you and dh2b related?
If he changes our cell phone service ONE MORE TIME because a new phone came out...

I think it is a Martian (Men are from Mars) thing with electronic gadgets, tools, firearms, vehicles, etc.
The Venusian (Women are from Venus) equivalent is usually clothes, jewelry, shoes, etc.
My weakness? Books and gardening stuff. And chocolate.

I don´t want to sound tragic or pitiful, but I wish it were a mere weakness, of which I have plenty, thank God. It´s a true disease-I never go and "visit" my phones. I even hete them as reminders of my condition. I have them hidden. More than once I have forgotten I had a particular model. Part of the problem is that my wife is too understanding. And my son...well he has given up on me!

 

[freebird5825]

I don´t want to sound tragic or pitiful, but I wish it were a mere weakness, of which I have plenty, thank God. It´s a true disease-I never go and "visit" my phones. I even hete them as reminders of my condition. I have them hidden. More than once I have forgotten I had a particular model. Part of the problem is that my wife is too understanding. And my son...well he has given up on me!

If it is a compulsion you truly cannot control, see a doctor and discuss it. Sometimes our brains under stress can cause us to do things we normally (no stress) don't want to do, and there is a lot of help out there.
Try to turn something negative into something positive. Can you figure out a way to make your purchases be constructive ? Give that some thought.

 

[cho oyu]

What is this illness (seems almost uniquely American), and how do others control it? Any epiphanies out there?

The best way I have found to control the purchase impulse is to create a "fun fund". $x/month is put in and can be spent on anything - but it has to be fun.

Camera? Check. Holiday? Check. Household maintenance? Nope.

Oddly, having money available that is specifically set aside for fun endeavors and knowing that the new electronic gizmo can be purchased whenever wanted decreases the desire to purchase.

I figure this is some sort of complex subconscious "scarcity vs. abundance" scenario, but as long as it works, I'm not going to spend too much time delving into the fuzzy psychological details.

 

[Midpack]

I'll keep reading, but I wanted to thank you all for taking the time to respond. It's been interesting and very worthwhile, several insights did hit home.

I have been out looking at cameras since my last post, but still didn't buy one...just can't decide if that's good or bad.

 

[TromboneAl]

If you can afford it and it doesn't impact your long term goals...

Well, this is another tricky thing. Let's say you see a great camera for $900. You can say "Spending this $900 is unlikely to make any difference whatsoever in my finances over the rest of my life." and it's probably true. It's even more true when deciding to buy the better beer for $7.45 or the cheaper beer for $5.19.

But I'm not sure that kind of thinking works out over the long term.

 

[REWahoo]

Well, this is another tricky thing. Let's say you see a great camera for $900. You can say "Spending this $900 is unlikely to make any difference whatsoever in your finances over the rest of my life." and it's probably true. It's even more true when deciding to buy the better beer for $7.45 or the cheaper beer for $5.19.

But I'm not sure that kind of thinking works out over the long term.

Sue it does - if you use the logic "I can buy a lot of $7.45/$5.19 beer if I don't buy that $900 camera..."

 

[CuppaJoe]

Sue it does - if you use the logic "I can buy a lot of $7.45/$5.19 beer if I don't buy that $900 camera..."

"You only live once!" "Go for the gusto?"

 

[RunningBum]

Back to the car, I think it makes sense to research which car you might buy if you got into a wreck or suddenly had major problems with your current car. I'm regularly thinking about this, to have some idea just so I'm not rushed to research and decide if something bad does happen. I've also got a Honda with 80+K miles, and I keep coming to the conclusion that it's far better financially, and probably better ecologically, to hang onto the Pilot for the foreseeable future. It's meeting all of my needs, even if it is bigger than what I really want now. When I bought it, I had some definite reasons to replace my 7 yr old CRV.

 

[Notmuchlonger]

"You only live once!" "Go for the gusto?"

Careful kids lets not get all crazy!

 

[freebird5825]

"You only live once!" "Go for the gusto?"

"Full speed ahead"

"What STOP sign ?"

 

[bank5]

I have been out looking at cameras since my last post, but still didn't buy one...just can't decide if that's good or bad.

I would recommend either going with a Canon or Nikon. I bought my DW a Canon Rebel XS last Christmas and she's been very happy with it. Maybe a little too happy -- she's already bought two additional lenses and now wants an external flash Lenses can get super expensive (especially ones with large apertures) but we bought a telefoto for $260 and fixed 50mm f/1.8 for $90 so the lower end ones aren't that expensive.

Amazon usually has some great prices on cameras.

One of the biggest advantages of an SLR is having more control over the depth of field. Notice in this picture how the 6 ball is out of focus - http://www.istockphoto.com/generic_image_view.php?ID=7271 I don't think it's possible to take a picture like that with a P&S.

 

[SarahW]

Ooooh, I love this thread. I am a shopper and not ashamed to admit it. I equate my bargain-hunting with any guy who spends days in the woods in search of a trophy. Just today I found a designer handbag on clearance which will have me grinning for a week, lol.

Also, one of my ER goals is to take several courses in photography and finally invest in a DSLR camera that I can learn how to use! I love digital photos 'cause they can be reviewed and DELETED, ha. (For every 300 shots I take, I get maybe ONE good one.) Anyhow, I'll be interested in camera discussion.

Midpack, don't worry about the urge to treat yourself. Most of us want stuff and as long as it's within your means...enjoy yourself.

 

[bank5]

Also, one of my ER goals is to take several courses in photography and finally invest in a DSLR camera that I can learn how to use! I love digital photos 'cause they can be reviewed and DELETED, ha. (For every 300 shots I take, I get maybe ONE good one.) Anyhow, I'll be interested in camera discussion.

This is a great book for learning about photography - Amazon.com: Understanding Exposure: How to Shoot Great Photographs with a Film or Digital Camera (Updated Edition): Bryan Peterson: Books

I never realized how much went into it until I read the book. As far as classes, I think if you buy a DSLR at Wolf camera they will allow you to take a few of their classes for free. A lot of community colleges will also offer photography classes for pretty cheap.

 

[TromboneAl]

One of the biggest advantages of an SLR is having more control over the depth of field. Notice in this picture how the 6 ball is out of focus - http://www.istockphoto.com/generic_i...ew.php?ID=7271 I don't think it's possible to take a picture like that with a P&S.

You could do it with a non-SLR, but you generally need more control over the aperture.

I did it here after taking the picture. That is, in Paintshop Pro, I selected that part of the image that I wanted blurred, then blurred it. Sorry for getting off-topic.

 

[Midpack]

I would recommend either going with a Canon or Nikon.

If I buy one (and I am getting weaker by the minute), it will be a Nikon D90 or D5000 - for my own reasons I have ruled out all others.

 

[harley]

I'm with W2R. This is all a result of Madison Ave. She mutes the commercials. I always have a second channel to switch to. America's Funniest Home Videos is always on some channel, and is perfect for watching for 4-5 minutes during a commercial break.

I've told DW and DD for years that the reason I don't want stuff (or not much of it) is that I don't watch commercials. Never have. They, on the other hand, always watch the commercials, and are personally keeping the economy afloat. Try not watching commercials for a few years, see if your behavior changes.

 

[SarahW]

This is a great book for learning about photography - Amazon.com: Understanding Exposure: How to Shoot Great Photographs with a Film or Digital Camera (Updated Edition): Bryan Peterson: Books

I never realized how much went into it until I read the book. As far as classes, I think if you buy a DSLR at Wolf camera they will allow you to take a few of their classes for free. A lot of community colleges will also offer photography classes for pretty cheap.

Thanks Bank5. I'm taking community college classes, "Photography for the F-stop Impaired."

 

[SarahW]

I've told DW and DD for years that the reason I don't want stuff (or not much of it) is that I don't watch commercials.

My hubby doesn't want things, either. So...I just pick up the slack left by his lack of materialism.

 

[bright eyed]

Ooh, this thread is making me want to learn more about photography!
That'll have to wait until the kids are a little grown and I'm outta school...

Anyhooo - I can totally relate to the ocd related to shopping. Growing up it was one of our main distractions, bargain hunting can be an adventure and the internet just increases the volume of noise surrounding each purchase.

Sometimes I put some road blocks in front of a purchase so I can know if I'm really serious about it. For example, if it was the camera, then I'd make sure I finished some book or mini course first. I'd also put some preliminary guidelines, in the form of an oral agreement with myself like - ok, if I purchase this, then no new cameras for X years.

If it was a certain bag, shoe or outfit, then I'd have to hit some other goal, or forgo such purchases for a certain # of months (sort of like fasting before you eat a donut).

Anyhow, those things at least make me feel more justified!

I do agree some of it could just be things to occupy an idle mind, so perhaps finding other things to occupy your mind that may seem more productive might be something to look into (you can research all the hobbies!).

I know honda's can run for a good deal longer than the 87k so perhaps doing something to refresh it's appearence? Give it a good wash/wax, vaccum etc can make it feel new again!

 

[bank5]

I know honda's can run for a good deal longer than the 87k so perhaps doing something to refresh it's appearence? Give it a good wash/wax, vaccum etc can make it feel new again!

Great point! I had my car detailed by a college student last summer. He did an amazing job -- spent a full day on it. The 14 year old car felt new again and took away any feelings of me wanting to get a new car.

It only cost me a hundred bucks. Much less than a new car payment.

 

[bank5]

If I buy one (and I am getting weaker by the minute), it will be a Nikon D90 or D5000 - for my own reasons I have ruled out all others.

Great choices! I'm sure you'd enjoy both.

------------------------------------

If you're still looking to be talked out of it...

Photography is a very tough hobby for us LBYMers My DW has been trying to decide for a few weeks if spending $250 on an external flash is worth it. After we get the flash, the next thing on the list will probably be a wide angle lens. A good lens can easily cost over $1000. The kit lens on the Nikon will be fine but just be prepared to want a new lens after you get the camera


This is a great book to read if you want to stop the buying urge - http://www.amazon.com/Affluenza-All...=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244465701&sr=8-1
It has a lot of astonishing facts and also talks about the environment.

 

[Kronk]

I always go by the old standby: figure out if it is worth the additional work time. That method works pretty well for those of us who save money every month and are looking to retire early.

If you earn $900 (after tax) over X days, then are you willing to work X days longer before retirement in order to have that thing? (Note: that's simplified for being fairly close to retirement, and if you've got 10+ years before retirement, it might be closer to 2X days of work with compounding of interest.)

Most of the time I don't even consciously relate spending back to days of work, but it is always there in the back of my mind. Fortunately for me I don't want to spend money very often and my earning rate is high enough to make a lot of decisions a bit easier.

But then in the last week I bought a Blu-Ray player for $200 (it also does Netflix streaming to the TV, which is awesome), and a 42" plasma as a secondary TV for $700. Usually I'm not spending that much money, though...

 

[TromboneAl]

Since there are two interesting topics being discussed here, I thought I'd spin off the camera discussion:

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f27/camera-buying-decisions-44669.html

 

[travelover]

I scratch my shopping itch by bargain basement shopping. I do a weekly tour of my local big box stores, especially Target, for clearance items. I keep a running mental list of things I "need", though I occasionally buy stuff just because it is cheap.

I also tour the dollar store to see what is new. My favorite pastime is using items for unintended purposes. I made a bird feeder from two stainless steel bowls and a muffler for my central vacuum from a plastic trash can. My favorite hangout is Harbor Freight, for cheap tools. When I decide I "need" a more expensive item, I stalk it relentlessly on Craigslist.

For me most of the fun is in the hunt, as opposed to actually owning additional stuff - I've really got all I need and more.